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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 11:46:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If you had just listened to me.... but nooooo! ;)

You're too wise. And I'm too bored.

_____________________________

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 11:52:17 PM

seekingOwnertoo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

No. They are selective because they CAN be not because they are entitled to be.

This I agree with ... and a savvy man can still seduce them ... although Distance is often the problem.

Trust me ... I can wrap a Domme around my finger ... than submit ... completely ...

And on this one ... I win ... moreover, You cannot have my phone book!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 11:55:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

No. They are selective because they CAN be not because they are entitled to be.

This I agree with ... and a savvy man can still seduce them ... although Distance is often the problem.

Trust me ... I can wrap a Domme around my finger ... than submit ... completely ...

And on this one ... I win ... moreover, You cannot have my phone book!

I don't want your phone book nor do I want to 'win'. If you think you can seduce them, go for it. Notice I didn't say they couldn't be seduced. Simply that they can be picky.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 11:56:14 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

If you had just listened to me.... but nooooo! ;)

Oh ... excuse me ... You were saying?

Apparently, i wasn't listening! Typical ...

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 12:32:09 AM

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AquaticSub

quote:

No. They are selective because they CAN be not because they are entitled to be. I am - a non pro submissive - am also very selective because, at least for now, I have enough people interested in me that I can afford to be picky. It has nothing to do with entitlement.

Let me tell you a story about entitlement. I met this woman years ago; it would have been around 2006. Anyway we started off chatting on msn and I can clearly remember that she was the one who initiated and asked me to meet up at the coffee club.

So here we are at the coffee club, we had good conversation and everything seemed fine. When we both went up to pay the bill, her half was mentioned first by the café staff. When this happened, she backed away from the counter and looked at me. I was like WTF. I simply smiled at her and was half laughing and told her that she is paying for her share.

Firstly, she tried to intimidate me and put me on the spot. This back fired at her and I ended up the one who intimidated her.

After that, she paid and then outside the café she refused to talk to me when I tried to have my last words before I went on my way home. She just simply walked away and never wanted to talk again. Not that I really cared as I felt the same from her stunt that she tried to pull. heh dumbass chauvinist poo brain

When women show this mentality, I don’t want anything to do with them no matter how good looking they are or if they are offering my wildest fantasies. After they try to pull a stunt such like this, it’s all over. As soon as it happens, I should flop my one eyed warrior out and start pissing on them. Then we will see if they still feel superior

Anyway, this is just one story that I clearly remember the most and I still think about it sometimes and laugh. I have met a handful of dommes over the years. Some have done the asking out and others I asked them out. It’s hard to be accurate but I am guessing most or at least 70 percent of all the dommes I have ever met expected me to pay for their lousy scamming ass.

This is one of their ways of being selective I guess. They think they can pull off such stunts as they know it’s hard for a male to find a domme. And for this reason, they try to pull the wool over your eyes. If it doesn’t work, they are likely to get cranky.

quote:

As for saying what you think, you aren't saying what you think. You are gleefully seeking out any chance to jump all over people you disagree with, screaming at the top of your lungs. That isn't being honest, it's being rude. It's not making a point, it's making people dismiss you out of hand. You may have some valid points but no one can see them for your hostile approach.

I am saying what I exactly think. But feel free to believe what you want. Many men may have some of the same views as me but many remain silent in an open place like a forum in the fear of rejection or being ostracised.

Screaming at the top of my lungs? lol You have never seen me angry. If I was angry, your computer screen would be shaking as your read my post. Rather than being angry, I amuse myself speaking my mind.

Hi LadyPact

I understand what you are saying. From what you said about one of the reasons why pros exists; this has partly been my point in this thread. These certain pro-dommes are aware that males have it hard so they choose to exploit these males for money. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about these dommes but I see them as leeching parasites.

Unfortunately there are desperate insecure men who give them what they want. That’s what keeps it alive.

As for what AAkasha partly said which was this...

quote:

Quality guys are not going to feel a woman is more desirable simply because men (who are losers) line up for her attention and/or BDSM or sex.

I think the type of women she talks about also have this mentality that men have to jump a million hoops and suck up their ass if they want to prove their worthiness. For what? The average hag that is no better than the next domme. Just another Jane next door who is kinky. This is an ugly sense of entitlement and the cause of this is the never ending line of desperate men who want a piece of them. *vomits*. My problem is that they women have to be actually worth the price they put on themselves. It's like pricing blade steak at the same value as rip eye fillet.

Speaking of women like AAkasha, them types are fucking hot. I haven’t bothered to look at her profile and see her pic so I am not talking about looks. I am talking about what I pick up in her personality from what she is saying in here. She seems to have her head screwed on right. She doesn’t seem like the typical narcissistic nitwits I see far too often crusing around this scene. Good for her. * pulls my pants down and wiggles my dick to say hi*

Anyway, I think I have made my points clear in this thread. I will leave it to rest. Carry on

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 12:51:07 AM

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So you had a bad experience with a woman at a cafe. Do you want to know about the guy who sexually molested me? Does that mean all men are rapists, out for the precious treasure between my thighs while I shiver in fear?

Or is it possible that some women, like some men, are jerks and some aren't?

And remember... I never said you were angry. I said you were screaming so loud and jumping all over everyone that if you have a point, no one can see it. You can't make my computer screen shake. That you think you can cause a moniter to physically shake is laughable and simply illustrates my point...

You are so caught up in your cyber-yelling - for whatever reason - that you aren't making a single point at all.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/24/2010 12:52:48 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 1:10:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

How did this become a referendum on whether women have to pay? Actually, I know the answer, I'm just being all rhetorical and shit.

I enjoy paying, even if she makes more money than I do. But, I'll say this, if she doesn't pay for something, I'll lose interest really fast. I don't do greedy.

This relates directly, I believe, to the psychology of prodomming. The successful prodommes I know -- the ones who have stuck it out long-term -- are the ones who refuse to bankrupt their clients even when they are findomming. They generate customer loyalty because the clients can tell they actually care. The "give me all your money now, loser pigs" women have a harder time of it. "Money slaves" tend to be all wank and no action, because, frankly, it's like castration: the guy can only perform the fetish once, and then his life is over.

haz a sad ;)

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 1:39:27 AM

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AquaticSub

One last note as this is starting to make me yawn

quote:

So you had a bad experience with a woman at a cafe.

I believe you should think more carefully about what my whole post said. Here is a quote from what I said before. If this helps...

quote:

I have met a handful of dommes over the years. Some have done the asking out and others I asked them out. It’s hard to be accurate but I am guessing most or at least 70 percent of all the dommes I have ever met expected me to pay for their lousy scamming ass.

Anyway, what you classify as “screaming”… which gives a strong impression that you were meaning an emotion of anger… is just simply me sharing my view. Just because the way I express things may be a bit snarky, you classify it as me "screaming" for some odd reason.

Feel free to think that I am not making any points at all. You have all the time in the world to rethink about my post.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 3:42:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm just a bit tired of femdoms who are making it seem like the attention they get at public events like this give them some large number of options - that's like saying the fact that we (as femdoms, or as women), since we get 100s of emails on cm, have lots of options.

I disagree. It's not like saying that, because I for one don't consider pervy strangers to be options at all. I don't play with people I don't know and I don't play with people I don't really like. But I *still* have lots of options-I have a social circle of kinky friends who I'm very fond of, most of whom have expressed some degree of interest in playing with me sometime, and some of whom I play with on a regular basis.

If I want to play there *will* be high quality partners around for me to play with, without even looking at the creeps.

I consider the random aggressive men a hindrance, nothing more-they have nothing to do with how many options I have at any given club.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 7:58:18 AM

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It's a nice little story, nick. You met a woman who was expecting that, like most men on a first date, you would pay for her food. An easy enough mistake to make. Rather than politely setting limits, you laughed and "intimidated" her - and was surprised that she wanted nothing to do with you after.

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Screaming at the top of my lungs? lol You have never seen me angry. If I was angry, your computer screen would be shaking as your read my post.

Sweetie, this is the internet. I get the feeling that you're prone to throwing temper tantrums in real life, and used to getting emotional reactions out of people, but I don't think you'll find many people on this board who are actually affected by your little screeds. People talk to you because it gives them a reason to express themselves, or out of boredom. You aren't powerful.

quote:

Speaking of women like AAkasha, them types are fucking hot. I haven’t bothered to look at her profile and see her pic so I am not talking about looks. I am talking about what I pick up in her personality from what she is saying in here. She seems to have her head screwed on right.

In general, I have a fair bit of respect for Akasha. I think she's a bit out of left field here, but that's another story entirely. Akasha, however, is someone who makes money by selling femdom erotica and online training. Her online persona reflects this - she tends to come across as very appealing to men who can't actually meet women in real life. (And others as well. Intelligent, attractive dominant women usually have pretty broad fan bases. Most of the female dominants who post here regularly do.) Without knowing her in real life, I suspect that she's fairly genuine, but I also think that she's a keen businesswoman and tailors her posts accordingly.

Wiggle your dick all you want. Akasha has her own agendas, and I sincerely doubt that she'd be interested in you as anything but a client.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 8:10:59 AM

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OMG. nick, exactly what is your aim?

1. She thought you'd pay. You thought she would. That's a joint communication error. Although as strangedesire said, most men would pay, and I suspect that it's much more common in femdom than vanilla.
2. At the point of paying, she indicated that you'd pay. You refused. At that point, she saw that you were either trying to save a few bucks, or trying to let her know that you would not follow direction from her. At that point, there was no chance of a relationship.
3. You tried to talk with her afterward. Why?
4. You stated that about 70% of the time, Dommes will expect you to pay. That's a tipoff that you STILL go for dates with Dommes and STILL do not explain beforehand that you want Dutch.

nick, I am very concerned about my image within the community. If I had several dozen women claiming that I had pissed them off like that on a first meet, my reputation would be mud. To me, it's more than worth spending a few bucks to have at least a fair image locally.

What is your point in asking out women, expecting them to pay their own way, and springing it as a surprise on them? Are you hunting for a woman that wants to pay her own way but not willing to verbalize that to her? Your goal in this puzzles me.

< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 10/24/2010 8:33:04 AM >

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 8:19:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Yes, there are. Unfortunately there are also some seriously manners-deficient sleazebags, and it is No Fun if you're at one of the events where there are too many of that type in attendance. I don't think that everyone who attends events is a moron, since I fall into that category myself, but the guys who repeatedly hit on women and don't take no for an answer certainly are. And you will find them at some types of venues.

I've been to many truly excellent, well managed events where almost everyone is courteous and intelligent and fun to be around, and I've also attended some absolutely horrid ones that I could only conclude must have been advertised to the local swinger's crowd. My suggestion would be to find the core leather community, the responsible and community conscious folks, and avoid the hell out of more commercialized venues, because your experience as a domme attending events is likely to be pleasant and welcoming in the former and fairly wretched in the latter. Aakasha's neck of the woods has a fair bit of the latter in my experience.

That could be the very difference. I'm not in that necks of the woods. I don't attend swingers events and if I attend a major event, it is one from the leather community. At the same time, I haven't run into the issue at commercialized venues. Not even at 1763, where they did start having specific swingers parties after a club had closed down. I highly doubt that I'm just lucky or there's some strange part of the universe where I don't have these issues.

Don't get Me wrong. I'm not saying that everyone at organized BDSM events are absolutely perfect or there aren't some folks out there like you describe. I think that's an unrealistic expectation of any group that happens to have one thing in common. Still, it's a small percentage, in My opinion.

quote:

Uh, Aakasha just barely qualifies as a very occasional pro session dabbler, and I don't think she's actually done one for years. Nor does she discourage people from the social scene; quite to the contrary, she has been actively encouraging people to go to their local Munches and join the community since the 1990's on alt.sex.femdom.

This could simply be a matter of perception. Maybe she includes that information on her site, which seems to be promoted a lot more than she gives recommendations about events.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 9:14:23 AM

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More on the etiquette of paying for dates, because it interests me:

I'm a Domme who dates women. I've not run in to a situation where my date expects that I'll pay, but it could. I'm trying to think how I might handle that situation.

If I were on a date with a girl and she stood aside for me when the time came to pay, I would probably try to make a subtle/friendly "no, you can go ahead first" type of thing. If I'm out to a restaurant, I'll start adding up my portion of the bill and discussing how much we need to tip without even thinking. Generally, people pick up on these kinds of cues quickly, and there's no need for awkwardness.

If she hesitated, or backed away, I'd pay for her. It's not inconceivable that someone could go on a date and not bring money, or not bring enough. I try to make it clear that if I'm buying dinner this time, I expect her to pick up the tab the next time we go out. It's possible to phrase this in a very non-hostile way. If I go out with someone several times, and they generally don't pay their own way, I either a) assume that they are using me, b) have a polite/firm conversation about how I am not a sugar mama, and make sure that we get separate tabs for a while, or c) try to find cheap/free activities in the future.

I don't invite people out to dates at places where it would pose a financial hardship for me to buy two meals. That said, if she can't afford steak, I feel that it's her obligation to make it clear ahead of time that my choices are out of her budget. I like to buy people nice things every now and then, but I prefer to have the option of suggesting a cheaper restaurant as well.

Then again, I build relationships with people. Trying to intimidate them rarely serves me well in this regard.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 9:39:35 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81
Hi LadyPact

I understand what you are saying. From what you said about one of the reasons why pros exists; this has partly been my point in this thread. These certain pro-dommes are aware that males have it hard so they choose to exploit these males for money. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about these dommes but I see them as leeching parasites.

Unfortunately there are desperate insecure men who give them what they want. That’s what keeps it alive.

As for what AAkasha partly said which was this...

quote:

Quality guys are not going to feel a woman is more desirable simply because men (who are losers) line up for her attention and/or BDSM or sex.

I think the type of women she talks about also have this mentality that men have to jump a million hoops and suck up their ass if they want to prove their worthiness. For what? The average hag that is no better than the next domme. Just another Jane next door who is kinky. This is an ugly sense of entitlement and the cause of this is the never ending line of desperate men who want a piece of them. *vomits*. My problem is that they women have to be actually worth the price they put on themselves. It's like pricing blade steak at the same value as rip eye fillet.

Speaking of women like AAkasha, them types are fucking hot. I haven’t bothered to look at her profile and see her pic so I am not talking about looks. I am talking about what I pick up in her personality from what she is saying in here. She seems to have her head screwed on right. She doesn’t seem like the typical narcissistic nitwits I see far too often crusing around this scene. Good for her.

Anyway, I think I have made my points clear in this thread. I will leave it to rest. Carry on

I tried to trim this down to an acceptable level. I did cut out the crude wiggling comment, because I don't think it was necessary or appropriate.

I'm going to echo what Strangedesire said. I think Aakasha does a very good job of advertising the site. She obviously has a great business sense. It's actually somewhat disappointing that she didn't address the original of the thread, since she turned a free enterprise into a profitable one. That advice would have been great for the OP, even with the difference of doing sessions instead of running a site. I didn't check the reference thread that Red posted earlier, but maybe she had already done so there, and felt she would be repeating herself.

On the rest, I'm probably too far out of the range of experience to address. I do consider Myself just the kinky average Jane next door. Basically, I'm out of My element on too many levels. I don't make any money from anyone with anything connected to BDSM. I don't engage in the sexual aspect of casual encounters at all. I don't consider what I do "dating" so I can't address any of that. None of the people that I do play with would I even think about labeling as "desperate" and somewhere between a third and a half of the people that I play with regularly are women.

About the only thing that I can address in any of this is what I mentioned earlier in the thread. You've been pretty consistent in your position of not wanting to feel that you are being taken advantage of from a financial standpoint. Well, female tops don't necessarily want to feel that way, either. I don't know anything about the kinds of play that you like, but some of Mine do include a cost factor. Wax, needles, fire, certain types of medical play, and others shouldn't be the responsibility of just one person. That's just taking advantage.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 9:41:52 AM

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I would like to disagree with Aqua on entitlement. I think every single person on earth is entitled to being picky. I'm 55 and not now, nor ever was, beautiful. But I have almost always been picky. I would much rather spend the night alone then taking whoever is willing to bone me. And I would hope everyone else also feels so entitled.

And it was worth five years celibacy to now be with The Man.

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(in reply to strangedesire)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 9:47:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
That could be the very difference. I'm not in that necks of the woods. I don't attend swingers events and if I attend a major event, it is one from the leather community. At the same time, I haven't run into the issue at commercialized venues. Not even at 1763, where they did start having specific swingers parties after a club had closed down. I highly doubt that I'm just lucky or there's some strange part of the universe where I don't have these issues.

I should have made the distinction between a public/commercial versus a highly commercialized/mainstreamed venue. Public dungeon facilities like 1763, the Citadel, The Mark, etc, are commercial venues, but are not highly commercialized or mainstreamed to the point that they are advertising in swinger's newspapers or to local frat houses just to pull people in the door. If you've never had the misfortune of attending a hybrid, basically mainstreamed "kink" or "fetish" event, you aren't missing a thing IMO. In my experience California and especially Los Angeles has a fair number of those types of venues. Georgia does not, to the best of my knowledge.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 10:00:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I think Aakasha does a very good job of advertising the site.

Actually, she doesn't. Speaking as a pro, the time I put into posting on forums is utterly nonviable in terms of getting any financial return from it. The average demographic of the client who will pay money for pro domme services very rarely overlaps the demographic of people who read and participate actively on forums. I don't know why this is, but you can bank on it.

quote:

She obviously has a great business sense. It's actually somewhat disappointing that she didn't address the original of the thread, since she turned a free enterprise into a profitable one.

I was around for the original days of Aakasha's writing about her ideas and fantasies on alt.sex.femdom, and her finally putting all of this on a website. She paid all the costs associated with the site for many years, and kept it up strictly for fun. Eventually she figured it was time the site started pulling its own weight. But as far as I know it's never been truly profitable, and certainly not in the sense of being a reasonable return per hour of her time invested compared to what she earns in her vanilla job. It *could* be far more profitable and commercial than it is now, because Aakasha does indeed have a good business sense. But she's not applying it to her site, and I can see that very clearly from where I sit.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 10:17:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
I should have made the distinction between a public/commercial versus a highly commercialized/mainstreamed venue. Public dungeon facilities like 1763, the Citadel, The Mark, etc, are commercial venues, but are not highly commercialized or mainstreamed to the point that they are advertising in swinger's newspapers or to local frat houses just to pull people in the door. If you've never had the misfortune of attending a hybrid, basically mainstreamed "kink" or "fetish" event, you aren't missing a thing IMO. In my experience California and especially Los Angeles has a fair number of those types of venues. Georgia does not, to the best of my knowledge.

That could be the exact difference. I've never had the inclination to attend things that are promoted as fetish events. I'm not a fetishist and I never have been. I guess that has just made Me lucky. LOL. I'll take you at your word that I'm better off.

Granted, I have only lived in CA just over a year and certainly haven't attended every event or location that is possible. It may very well be that the types of venues I chose to attend don't have the nonsense.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 10:42:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I think Aakasha does a very good job of advertising the site.

Actually, she doesn't. Speaking as a pro, the time I put into posting on forums is utterly nonviable in terms of getting any financial return from it. The average demographic of the client who will pay money for pro domme services very rarely overlaps the demographic of people who read and participate actively on forums. I don't know why this is, but you can bank on it.

quote:

She obviously has a great business sense. It's actually somewhat disappointing that she didn't address the original of the thread, since she turned a free enterprise into a profitable one.

I was around for the original days of Aakasha's writing about her ideas and fantasies on alt.sex.femdom, and her finally putting all of this on a website. She paid all the costs associated with the site for many years, and kept it up strictly for fun. Eventually she figured it was time the site started pulling its own weight. But as far as I know it's never been truly profitable, and certainly not in the sense of being a reasonable return per hour of her time invested compared to what she earns in her vanilla job. It *could* be far more profitable and commercial than it is now, because Aakasha does indeed have a good business sense. But she's not applying it to her site, and I can see that very clearly from where I sit.

Thank you LadyNTrainer, you summed it up pretty well, but I think most people on CM and other message boards know that I don't participate in online discussions as a marketing vehicle for my web site; if I did, as marketer, I'm shrewd enough to know that I'd play right into the fantasy of every living breathing submissive that posted on here, as just one example. I can't even be bothered to post stories regularly in the Creative section of this site, because I don't have the time, and because my career is where I make my money. My web site is a hobby. You don't do something for 10 years for 100% free out of your own time and pocket. I've been posting in online forums since the Internet was all text; a very, very long time.

What set me off in this whole thread is that it paints female domination with a sense of arrogance and entitlement that I don't think does women in general any good. A vanilla woman can put on a sleazy outfit and walk into a bar and have 10 guys ask for her number; that doesn't mean these 10 guys offer anything of quality or connection, and if anything, her bragging about the ability to attract what's seeking her at the lowest common level is just a turn off to the quality men who are observing this kind of thing. It is a woman who likes attention. Don't get me wrong - I love attention, but I don't find the random guys that line up looking to be topped in public bdsm venues to be flattering. I find it objectifying and tactless.

And the thing about guys having to give something back in return for the toys or 'investment' or whatever, I hear that more and more, and I think that's bullshit also and a bad line of thinking to be presented as status quo for female domination. What a good partner has to offer me in terms of currency is great energy and chemistry. I pay for my gear because I like my gear. But then again I'm a woman who enjoys being in the driver's seat when it comes to kink, and paying the way of the sub in personal relationships is the way it works for me, down to the toys and other costs. What he brings to the table is the ability to give the energy and effort into making my BDSM topping experience fulfilling - but more importantly, he brings a connection.

If a person invests a large sum of money in a room addition with a pool table, do the expect the people they invite over to play pool to bring chalk and donate pool cues every single time they come over, or do they merely invite over the people who they genuinely enjoy their company, and if that person brings over a bottle of wine on their own, they think, "that's very sweet of them!".

It all comes down to a matter of personal taste. But I think women who project that they have to be treated a certain way because of the men lining up for their attention are sending an egotistical message. Just jump over two threads and read about how 100,000 guys are emailing us, but all of them but 1 or 2 are crap and just looking for jollies. By projecting that we're just swimming in male suitors, while the guys observing see who these "suitors" are, makes the quality men just shake their head and walk away. The same way a quality guy in a bar observing a woman who is enjoying the attention of creeps is always going to gravitate toward the woman who carries herself with quiet confidence rather than basking in the glory of her 'choices.'

Akasha

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/24/2010 10:47:58 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I pay for my gear because I like my gear too. Do I NEED any of it? No, not really. I have my brain and my hands, the other stuff is just a big bag of accessories.

Still, the entitlement is really coming from that other side---the ones who are in it for the jollies, or the fucking cheapskates---who think that they are doing us a favour, and cannot even be gracious enough to pay for the coffee. Because that would be like financial domination, don't ya know. It's an excuse for them to be all butt hurt because we will not play without SOMETHING coming back, be it time, energy, entertainment, or yeah, that damn coffee.

Hence, the market for professional dominants.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to AAkasha)

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