RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 9:25:45 PM

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quote:

So these pro female/male dom/dommes get paid for what others in the scene generally provide?

I don't know many Doms/Dommes in the scene who have any desire to be a life support system for a flogger and fulfill a sub's fantasies without regards to their own preferences, so no. Having played with one of the Dommes in this thread on more than one occasion, I can tell you that it certainly isn't all about what I want... lmao!!

quote:

This now makes logical sense, men should pay up to these women because they need to get exploited and taken advantage of as its harder for them to get the precious pussy. This is not sexism though. We have to keep pulling the next 100 dollar note out of our wallets

Let's flip this. So, a man or woman who identifies as Dominant has some obligation to scene with anyone who wanders by and asks regardless of physical attraction or mutual interests?
No one is forced to hire a pro D or s type. If you can't interest a lifestyle Domme and don't want to pay a pro to fulfill your fantasies, that is up to you. As you said in a previous post, no one is holding a gun to your head.

_____________________________

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(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 10:51:35 PM

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Exactly, if a man is not willing to pay even 5 cents towards a woman to get things going, what's the problem?

Fair is fair

Human being after another human being

He likes, she likes

In all humanity, everyone should be equal. Not regarding if you have a so called chauvinist golden puss puss

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 10:55:47 PM

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 10:59:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
I don't know many Doms/Dommes in the scene who have any desire to be a life support system for a flogger and fulfill a sub's fantasies without regards to their own preferences, so no. Having played with one of the Dommes in this thread on more than one occasion, I can tell you that it certainly isn't all about what I want... lmao!!

Yes, but you have to remember something. You're the complete opposite of life support for a whip. I get your love, your friendship, you treating Me like a person, your good nature, the fun we have together when we're not playing, and all of the things that make you...... You! That's a heck of a lot different than someone who thinks they are doing Me a favor because they are willing to bend over to receive a beating. On top of this, as if it wasn't already enough, let's not forget who made some of the toys and gave them to Me as gifts. Not 'giving you this so you owe something' but because they were things that you knew would make Me happy.

quote:

Let's flip this. So, a man or woman who identifies as Dominant has some obligation to scene with anyone who wanders by and asks regardless of physical attraction or mutual interests?
No one is forced to hire a pro D or s type. If you can't interest a lifestyle Domme and don't want to pay a pro to fulfill your fantasies, that is up to you. As you said in a previous post, no one is holding a gun to your head.

This is something that a lot of people don't get and I don't understand why. Let's say that most of the people on the planet have a healthy interest in sex. That doesn't mean that they automatically want to have sex with everyone. They are going to chose the people that they find attractive or have emotional ties with. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to go to bed with anybody and everybody.

It's the same with BDSM. People are going to engage in it with the people that they have a good experience with. Not necessarily just anybody and everybody. Why wouldn't anyone want to play with the people they want to the most? Whether they are basing it on profit, friendship, barter, or anything else. Whatever they want is what they should get out of it.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 11:06:23 PM

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It is so frustrating to have to sift through the bickering merely to read something regarding the topic I set out to read. By replying to the obnoxious posters, you only feed their frenzy to have the last word.

Back on topic, as others have stated, there is somewhat of a stigma to doing the pro-domme thing in some people's eyes, so be prepared for that. Also, I cannot stress enough the need to see to your safety if you do decide to go this route. Be smart about things, there is nothing wrong with being overly cautious. Best of luck!

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 11:32:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81
Exactly, if a man is not willing to pay even 5 cents towards a woman to get things going, what's the problem?

If he doesn't mind being alone, or if he's gay, then there is no problem.

This is a fucked up attitude that is going to turn off even the dominant women who insist on paying for everything because that's their kink. I certainly can buy my own cup of coffee, and if I'm the one who invited a man then I intend to pay for his as well....but a guy who has this attitude is never going to get that invitation.

I'm not quite on the same far end of the spectrum as Aakasha, though I used to be when I was younger. I don't insist on paying for everything any more. But buying things for a male submissive is something I do enjoy, especially clothes and jewelry. I've spent a fairly ridiculous amount outfitting mine. But neither of mine are bitter, and neither of them call women ugly names; it's not in their nature. Nor would I be with either of them if they did.

I've had submissives who were absolutely dead broke, and I had no problem paying for all their stuff and buying them things. Actually I insisted, and it was fun and erotic for me. But being a sugar mama eventually got old after such privileges were abused by one pretty-but-lazy boy too many. So I started seeking partners who were at a minimum self-sufficient, and willing to be as generous and giving to me as I was to them. Not necessarily in money, or in things that cost money, but I do require genuine two way giving. One way streets go nowhere. And the giving has to start somewhere, so when somebody says they won't even buy me a cup of coffee, major red flags go up. When they call women nasty names for wanting men to show that they are considerate and capable of some giving in a relationship, it's an even bigger red flag.

Dude, to put it mildly, you're screwed. Or more accurately, you probably never will be.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 10/22/2010 11:35:58 PM >

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/22/2010 11:52:27 PM

hlen5

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Just wondering.. has anyone seen my golden puss puss? It was here just a minute ago.......

Seriously, I think a lot of sound advice was given to the OP.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 12:11:53 AM

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quote:

Exactly, if a man is not willing to pay even 5 cents towards a woman to get things going, what's the problem?

It's not a problem, if said man can find a woman willing to go along with that. Personally, I am a generous person who likes to give and I simply cannot stand stingy people. In my experience (and mine only), people who are stingy with money tend to be selfish in other areas of a relationship as well.

quote:

Fair is fair
Human being after another human being
He likes, she likes

You are assuming that she likes. Attraction is based on many things, but for many, personality and attitude are pretty high on the list. I know few women who are attracted to men who constantly complain and hurl insults at women. I know few men who are attracted to women who constantly complain and hurl insults at men. Yup, fair is fair... and attitude is nearly everything.

quote:

In all humanity, everyone should be equal. Not regarding if you have a so called chauvinist golden puss puss

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but when it comes to relationships, everyone is certainly not equal. Subs, Dom/mes, switches, males, females, straight, bi, gay, transgendered, whatever; we are not interchangeable based on whatever label we choose to slap on our asses.
The very idea is simply laughable. People seek relationships based on their preferences, and have every right to do so.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 12:39:13 AM

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quote:

Yes, but you have to remember something. You're the complete opposite of life support for a whip. I get your love, your friendship, you treating Me like a person, your good nature, the fun we have together when we're not playing, and all of the things that make you...... You! That's a heck of a lot different than someone who thinks they are doing Me a favor because they are willing to bend over to receive a beating. On top of this, as if it wasn't already enough, let's not forget who made some of the toys and gave them to Me as gifts. Not 'giving you this so you owe something' but because they were things that you knew would make Me happy.

I hoped you would respond to my post. Have I told you lately that I love you? *goes to fetch a diet pepsi and make some s'mores*

As to the toys, I knew that you would understand that they were gifts, or I would not have made them in the first place. I still remember the look on your face when I gave you the black rope flogger with purple wraps. That was all I wanted

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 1:27:33 AM

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Again, if you buy the toys, they are your responsibility. If not, anyone can just take them away from you and seek ownership.

I am tired responding to all the gynocentrists on here.

But hey this is a classic…

quote:

If he doesn't mind being alone, or if he's gay, then there is no problem.

quote:

This is a fucked up attitude that is going to turn off even the dominant women who insist on paying for everything because that's their kink.

You want to know what a fucked up attitude truly is?

I could bet my bottom dollar you would be saying different in this situation. You will deny it of course, but I know the truth.

Say if a woman strongly disagrees on giving out sex easily on the same level of aggression as I expressed on giving out this sense of entitlement. Would you accept it? I am confident to answer “yes” but you would probably say “no”.

But when a male talks about any female driven entitlement in the same level of aggression, he is condemned for it.

I would like to go on more with the replies now, but I don’t have the time. I shall be back

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 1:32:57 AM

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Okay there are a few things that are being lumped into one single category when it comes to the over arching "financial domination"

1. Pro domina: Usually women who are paid to provide a service, and that service is outlined before the session. This does not mean that the domina like doing said thing, but they know HOW to do it and there for can provide the service. I was personally mentored by 2 different ones, and have spoken to numerous ones in SF.

2. Semi Pro Dommes: You are paying for something, but usually have no idea what you will get in return.

3. Financial Domina: You pay for nothing in return. You in essence hold out your wallet and say AHHH.

I think the 2 biggest questions anyone who wants to go pro needs to answer that have not been stated yet are:

1: Are you going to allow sexual touching, intercourse, ect?
I know quite a few domina who don't allow this. I personally don't allow this unless, I am in a relationship with the person (i.e. they wear my collar)

2: Do you want to join an established house?
I personally think this is better for newer people. Then you have the resources, other domina, a "house mother", and extended toychest and wardrobe with half the cost. You also get added protection, as well as backup, plus all your clients are prescreened for your safety.

Just my 2 cents,

MissA

(in reply to WyldHrt)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 2:07:29 AM

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quote:

Again, if you buy the toys, they are your responsibility. If not, anyone can just take them away from you and seek ownership.

Again, you are confusing lifestyle and pro relationships. Apparently, I need to sharpen my clue by four.

quote:

I am tired responding to all the gynocentrists on here.

And I am tired of you dodging my questions in favor of pushing your agenda, what's your point?

quote:

You want to know what a fucked up attitude truly is?
I could bet my bottom dollar you would be saying different in this situation. You will deny it of course, but I know the truth.

I have no idea what you are talking about here. My best guess is that you are replying to posts you made about males paying, that were refuted by myself and others. Really, what are you on about??

quote:

Say if a woman strongly disagrees on giving out sex easily on the same level of aggression as I expressed on giving out this sense of entitlement. Would you accept it? I am confident to answer “yes” but you would probably say “no”.
But when a male talks about any female driven entitlement in the same level of aggression, he is condemned for it.

Word salad, please clarify.

quote:

I would like to go on more with the replies now, but I don’t have the time. I shall be back

As always... *sigh*

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 5:40:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

No one is forcing you to buy toys. You make that choice. You take full responsibly. And that responsibility includes; it has no financial burden on others. You buy it, you own it.

Yes, we own it, we take full responsibility and use it how we want and with who we want, and since most of us don't like your attitude, we're not going to use it on you. Fair enough, isn't it?

A guy who wants a whipping, well I guess he can buy his own whips, and whip himself, same with bondage, etc.

Prodommes offer a service, if you don't want to pay, don't go there, simple. Though with your attitude of dommes just being there to serve you, I don't think you will have an easy time finding a life-style domme, most of us don't think we're there to serve whims...

See it this way, if a friend cooks for me and invites me for dinner, I at least bring a good bottle of wine to show I appreciate his or her efforts, it's simply good manners, but that seems to be an outdated concept.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 5:49:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Exactly, if a man is not willing to pay even 5 cents towards a woman to get things going, what's the problem?

Fair is fair

Well, if he isn't willing to pay even 5 cents, the problem is that things won't be going for him, but that is his problem and not ours. I've bought drinks for guys, never been a problem but would I buy a drink for a person who is simply too cheap to ever buy a woman a drink? No way. A guy who expects to get everything for free because he's a guy - well, I hope he's good looking and gay, there might be some sugar daddies around....

quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Human being after another human being

He likes, she likes

In all humanity, everyone should be equal. Not regarding if you have a so called chauvinist golden puss puss

Please tell us the secret how to do an "equal" D/s scene, will it go like "I'm so sorry to have to make you kneel, you know you are my equal, now would you please bend over so I can use my strapon on you - you know we are equals..."

Any takers for that kinda scene? I think I might opt for a root canal instead, sounds like more fun...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 6:15:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyDread
It is so frustrating to have to sift through the bickering merely to read something regarding the topic I set out to read. By replying to the obnoxious posters, you only feed their frenzy to have the last word.

100% agree. I recently posted this link on another thread, but for anyone interested in the original thread topic, I consider the following post required reading. (Maybe it should be in the Ask A Mistress FAQ).

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2041849

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 8:30:17 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GODDESSEBONYAMOR

I have some questions. i truly enjoy the life of bdsm i think of it all day . what i,m asking is what makes a pro domme ? i would like to turn my passion into profit but i,m not a pro .

First, do learn how to spell and write observing basic laws of grammar. And no, I'm not saying that to be a smart ass; you will get much more respect from others (at least online) if you can string together a coherent sentence.

As to being a Pro Domina, being two parts dominant and one part capitalist seems the right mix. All you need to do is have the ~~balls~~ breasts to to put yourself out there. Men who desire "sessions" will get in touch with you, though emails, private messages or phone sex lines. Use the gray matter between your ears to navigate the rest of the way by maintaining a good reputation and screening your prospective clients well. How far you go depends upon your imagination, taste and authenticity. YMMV.

P.s. You don't have to be a "Pro", either. There's always that option, which is not without rewards, too.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 12:26:49 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Exactly, if a man is not willing to pay even 5 cents towards a woman to get things going, what's the problem?

Fair is fair

Human being after another human being

He likes, she likes

In all humanity, everyone should be equal. Not regarding if you have a so called chauvinist golden puss puss

There isn't one. But you aren't entitled to anyone's time or affections.

There are plenty of non-pro fem dommes. And there are some pro-dommes. Many pro-doms have personal subs and slaves who don't pay. But these women are incredibly selective because they can be. So, just like with anyone, you have to appeal to them. Now, you actually get more choices with a pro domme. Because if she isn't interested in you personally, you can still rent her time.

You being unwilling to pay a pro domme isn't going to cause a non pro to decide against you. You insulting women and pitching fits will. Do you see the difference between "RAWR I DUN WANNA PRO DOMME BAD RAWR" and "I just won't pay but good luck to you!"?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 10/23/2010 12:27:15 PM >

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(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 1:11:43 PM

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A how to pro dom faq would be a nice addition.

Ladies, I ask you to please stop feeding the resident troll. We will never meet him in person, his bile does not affect us or touch our lives. Put him on hide if you have to. Responding to him is pointless.

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 10/23/2010 1:12:26 PM >

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 1:43:51 PM

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Yes ma'am.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/23/2010 2:09:11 PM

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But it's so much fun proving him wrong.

Since the kink part seems to be too complicated, we'll try it another way. Let's say you own a car. You bought it for the convenience and reasonable reasons that a person would want to own a car.

So, now you have this car and it allows you to do the things you want to do and go to the places that you want to go. On occasion, people ask you for rides to the places they want to go. When you do that, they repay the favor by taking you to lunch with them during the trip or they offer to help pay for the gas. Naturally, you appreciate the gesture, and are willing to take them where they need to go the next time that they need a ride.

Replace that friend scenario with some guy who approaches you on the street, who sees that you own a car and demands that you take him where he wants to go. He's not willing to chip in for gas money or do anything in return. He just feels entitled to free taxi service that day. The attitude is that, since you own a car and he doesn't, you should be willing to take him anywhere that he would like you to drive him, because after all, you wanted to buy the car for your own purposes.

As a lifestyle Domme and a top, I can promise you that there are always options for play partners. I'm going use My play time in those situations that I enjoy the most with the people that have greater benefits for Me. Just because I don't charge people doesn't mean that I don't appreciate things like friendship, love, compatibility, etc.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)

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