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ORIGINAL: fellowtraveler

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

I respect you even though that opinion calls me ignorant. It's an opinion that is text book.

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There are still controls here. You know what they are.

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In the real world we're Dom's and submissives and not children. We are not textbook by choice but these submissives do not just get into a car without taking some safety measures so let's not pretend they are ignorant and the Dom is ignorant for inviting her.

The prey still has claws.

Be well,
Arturas

Arturas, I must respectfully disagree. In the first place, this is a site where anyone can post.... not just good and decent people. To make matters worse, a woman who claims to have been attacked by someone she met here is not going to be in a good position in court.... given the nature of the public perception of D/s. We DO need to be wary of people until we know them. That goes more for adults than children, IMO.

In the "vanilla" world, it is common for a man to pick a woman up in his car for a first date. I, however, would not recommend it for people meeting folks from this site for the first time. As a dominant man, I would not take a first time "date" in my car.... for one thing because I don't know what she will try to claim happened and for another because I want her to feel at ease. I will take control when she is comfortable, if that ever happens. If not... I will move on.

I will acknowledge that my post fell into the age-old trap of trying to claim that a "real" dom does this or does not do that. I apologize for that. I should have said that the act was ignorant and left it at that.

As for calling you personally ignorant, I have no knowledge of you and thus am not qualified to say one way or another. The act though, yeah, I would call it ignorant or at best naive. There again, I do things that others might well consider ignorant.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas


It is much the same with these replies. More lecture from those who assume the worst of people.

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ORIGINAL: Lairaimmortelle
I've had an encounter with an individual, a Dom. Met on here, chatted quite a bit, and met up for the first time last night.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

Once my tam caused a problem online. I wrote she would be whipped for it. This triggered several people to spend over a page or two lecturering me on the legality of this and the potential to cause harm, on the rights of the individual and how I would be jailed for causing this girl harm. It is much the same with these replies. More lecture from those who assume the worst of people. I still respect you but suggest your reply is much the same. They never considered she is an alpha submissive who enjoys being whipped and it is being performed in a monitored dungeon setting and that I was trained and skilled to perform this action.

Things never change.

Respectfully,
Arturas

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ORIGINAL: Lockit

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

Once my tam caused a problem online. I wrote she would be whipped for it. This triggered several people to spend over a page or two lecturering me on the legality of this and the potential to cause harm, on the rights of the individual and how I would be jailed for causing this girl harm. It is much the same with these replies. More lecture from those who assume the worst of people. I still respect you but suggest your reply is much the same. They never considered she is an alpha submissive who enjoys being whipped and it is being performed in a monitored dungeon setting and that I was trained and skilled to perform this action.

Things never change.

Respectfully,
Arturas

So you decided to show everyone that for causing trouble on the boards you were going to give her punishment which meant that you were rewarding her? That doesn't make sense. Your posts don't make sense. You sound good to a point and then some inconsistency or egomakingtrippinyouup goes on. You punish with something she likes. You claim to be uber dom, know how to read women and hunt well... and yet somehow, some way, over and over again, you give the impression that you are talking in between burps.

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I felt the need to submit to my owner on our first date, but I did not allow myself to.  Nor did he want me to.  We both had reasons for that.

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: NuevaVida
I felt the need to submit to my owner on our first date, but I did not allow myself to.  Nor did he want me to.  We both had reasons for that.

*laughs* I'm sure you did. Carol and I have had reasons at various times too. Those reasons didn't help us any. The "not submitting" was a paper thin layer of wallpaper over the same structure that was always there. So now the question to you is... "So yeah, on the surface you 'stopped yourself from submitting'. But did that actually change anything? I'm guessing no *laughs*.

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So we are prey and predator eh? Dominant is stronger because dominant is predator and seeking prey (is) our nature because damn, a dominant is most typically is a man right?

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ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

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ORIGINAL: Arturas


It is much the same with these replies. More lecture from those who assume the worst of people.

You and your partner were not meeting for the first time when your discussion of punishment took place. The OP and the man she referred to in the original post were.

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ORIGINAL: Lairaimmortelle
I've had an encounter with an individual, a Dom. Met on here, chatted quite a bit, and met up for the first time last night.

You're comparing apples and oranges.

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ORIGINAL: clitwhipscream

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So we are prey and predator eh? Dominant is stronger because dominant is predator and seeking prey (is) our nature because damn, a dominant is most typically is a man right?

Not in my world it isnt, and where in my posts whould you even find that assumtion? Did I forget to genderfuck a pronoun? If I did, I apologize.

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Arturas, the rule you violated is that you never punish your sub by doing something she enjoys. That's like punishing an eight year old with ice cream when he breaks a window.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Arturas, the rule you violated is that you never punish your sub by doing something she enjoys. That's like punishing an eight year old with ice cream when he breaks a window.

So, you are smarting from my last reply and suddenly now I have a rule you force on me and mine? I'll be sure an remember that next time...she is mine, I enjoyed her acting up where she acted up and I punished her as I saw fit.
Get over it again.

Be well,
Arturas

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ORIGINAL: clitwhipscream

quote:

So we are prey and predator eh? Dominant is stronger because dominant is predator and seeking prey (is) our nature because damn, a dominant is most typically is a man right?

Not in my world it isnt, and where in my posts whould you even find that assumtion? Did I forget to genderfuck a pronoun? If I did, I apologize.

I knew the Dom I play with now for four years before anything went down. He got it, becasue hes a damn nice man, and he prooved it over time, just by being his sweet self, not because he is a dom. That dosent mean he dosent make me nervous, he does and always has. I fucking love it and thats why one day I went to his house and deliberately ran across his path. (I gave him my safeword within two minutes of walking in the door). I asked him during the conversaton, several times, to push me over my own resistance and he pounced. Lucky for me. Now I have this great friend who fucks me silly once a week or so. And he is georgeous.

His housemate (a super funny super slutty Domme) keeps an eye on things so we dont get to rough and break all the furniture and in effect acts as a spotter, FOR HIM. Because right now, I could go to the cops and report him for rape, and he would at minimum have his reputation trashed at worst get jail time. Im not that kind of girl, but on original pounce, he did not know that. That took kahoonas.

I wouldnt call a cop if I were raped, a lawyer and a reporter yes from the er, but not a cop. Oh Im sure they would stick thier nose in it and I would employ them, to help me track down my own rapist (becasuse I owe him one). But I like cops only slightly less than I like rapists. Im just funny that way. I take care of me, no one else. In my experience, crawling into the arms of a patriachal legal system is not the best path out of gender oppression in fact, it is designed to reinforce it. Thats why rape vicitms speaks so much of being re-raped by the system.

The person best qualified to take care of you is yourself. That is not required becasue you are a woman in 'mans world', but becasue you are a human and you live in the real world.

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ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

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ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Arturas, the rule you violated is that you never punish your sub by doing something she enjoys. That's like punishing an eight year old with ice cream when he breaks a window.

So, you are smarting from my last reply and suddenly now I have a rule you force on me and mine? I'll be sure an remember that next time...she is mine, I enjoyed her acting up where she acted up and I punished her as I saw fit.
Get over it again.

Be well,
Arturas

   Your replies seem to never have a thing to do with the comments and/or questions you reply to. 

So, you fake punished her, with something that she enjoys, for fake acting up on here in a way that you enjoyed, yet Steven is the one forcing a rule on you and yours?

You sure do change mules in the middle of the stream a lot.  How the poor OP's confusion and possibly dangerous encounter became about you and your great domliness escapes me.  Please explain.

To the OP, live and learn.  Try not to make the same mistake twice.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

Do you think so? I don't. My tam and I were not strangers when this punishment took place and the OP and the Dom were strangers; that is true. But that fact has little to do with my post. You see, the point is that in both cases people wrote back thinking the worse of us in what they perceived to be a high risk adventure, apples to apples, and in my case they wrote back that I was going to do something terrible to tam and illegal. Now in the case of the OP, many wrote that she was being foolish and she and the Dom acted in an "ignorant" manner.

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I know many postings on CM are made those well meaning with textbook answers suggesting things like safe words and having several phone conversations first and even a meeting first over dinner would make things fundamentally different and safer and "less ignorant". You who are experienced in dating on vanilla Match.com as well as CM know better.
Indeed, those who think it is dangerous to be led by a Dom on the first meeting simply because it is the first meeting are dead wrong. OMG, why? Because it is no safer to jump in a Dom's car for the first time on the tenth meeting than the first meeting; in either situation you equally must have in place safety measures to protect yourself. I will even go so far as to suggest it is safer to go into a Dom's car on the first meeting since you will surely have safety measures in place then and will less likely have them in place on the fifth or tenth meeting after being disarmed by his smile and concern over your 'interest and limits' sheet you both went over last week after five meetings and you decide it's not necessary to call in his license plate to your safety contact back at home base.

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Finally, I don't have any lectures for the OP. I make no such judgments. I and many more here know what's real and and those who disagree are free to lecture us on our perceived failings. I respect that.

Naturally, I am free to set it straight.

Well wishes
Arturas.

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What is ok for a first date?

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All this is good advice for dating. But we're not dating here are we? This is a hunt and you are the prey.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas