RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/12/2011 10:44:13 PM

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Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

Incorrect. That statement would imply that you missinterpreted it in a sexual context. There was no sexual context assosciated to it.

Look at the title of the thread.

But the term being single implies not being part of a couple (or a poly arrangement, as applicable).

Not everyone here is looking for that kind of thing.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/13/2011 3:10:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

I can't do that. Not even I'm that desperate. But I do think there are desperate people around whom we may not be aware of. I think they are everywhere. I think they are the 'nice guys' who always complain about why they are single.

Not to offend anyone, (but probably will everyone), I think everyone here is a bit desperate in some way or another, myself included. Otherwise we wouldn't be here. We all came here to find something whether we have found it or not. Some of us are fortunate enough to live out our fantasies in reality and tell the whole online world about them, others aren't. Some are desperate for attention, others are desperate for a different kind of attention. I have no doubt people will write about how un-desperate they are now and how, intact and happy and fulfilled they are but, hey, it's the internet, that's what it's for :D

I agree that we all come here for something....to share, to teach, to learn, entertainment, etc...but why the desperate part? What is desperate about being on a forum? It's convenient, it's fun, it's easy, but there is nothing about sharing information on a forum that makes one desperate.

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/13/2011 6:10:59 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

There's a thread below where a man is whining about why he can't find his dominatrix. He goes on about how he spends all this money on wining and dining her.

Mmmm ... didn't read the thread, just the OP!

Thinking I might have to stop wining and dining Women I am interested in!

Not!

Wining and dining is not related to Domme or Vanilla ... it is something a SMART man does!

And if a Lady is a Domme ... one best do it double!

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/13/2011 6:24:08 PM

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In my recollection, nobody here is helping set the single guys up with a suitable match.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/13/2011 11:53:18 PM

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Joined: 2/25/2010
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I would absolutely set people up, if I thought they were well suited to one another.
In a distant past, I've had people write to me, and I suggested they write to someone else, with similar likes/kinks. M

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/14/2011 2:34:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

In my recollection, nobody here is helping set the single guys up with a suitable match.

Lol.

You don't know me very well.

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Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/14/2011 10:35:19 AM

Iholdthestrings

Posts: 172
Joined: 9/23/2010
From: Fort Wayne, IN
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I'm actually in the process of facilitating such an introduction. I want the wonderful people in my life to be happy as much as I want my own happiness.

_____________________________

She tied you to Her kitchen chair... and from your lips She drew the Hallelujah.
---------------------------
If I had an orgasm-trigger phrase, it would be "No Strings Housework". ;)

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 2:48:15 AM

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Joined: 3/23/2007
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Is there ever a time when it's not the fault of the man for being single?

It's acceptable for a domme or female sub to blame men for her single status such as that she's single because most men are not decent or good enough for her. Yet if a man tries to blame women for being single, he gets laughed at

(in reply to Chulain)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 5:25:52 AM

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Joined: 2/25/2010
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Hello bare ass naughty,
this thread was begun by a male submissive, and many of us didn't actually agree with him, as much as have a discussion about the subject. We don't blame anyone. What does happen is, if you ask us a question, or thoughts regarding anything, we usually share those thoughts.
The best thing to do, when you don't want other people's thoughts/pinions, it's best not to ask for it. M

(in reply to naughtynick81)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 2:55:42 PM

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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

In my recollection, nobody here is helping set the single guys up with a suitable match.

Lol.

You don't know me very well.

Wow VC - are you offering to solve the prob?

Please - young, petite, extraordinarily attractive (I'm thinking maybe a Kate Moss lookalike), good company, a bit of a painslut, happy to disagree and debate disagreement (but deep down knows I'm right), finds bondage and abuse hugely satisfying, finds life to be great fun, thinks old blokes are sooooo attractive, experienced (but so admires what she sees as my greater experience) - one of those please; pretty please.

No need to gift-wrap and no worries on delivery, I can collect.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 4:15:38 PM

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Haha! If you came to some events I'd see what I could do

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(in reply to Sundowner)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 9:48:55 PM

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

WHAT?.. Bigger is NOT better????

Hello A/all,

I have been away for a while. So much snow; so little time! More importantly (GACK! Did I say THAT?), I have been focused on spending face to face time with a really great Domme. I am really excited about it.

Valentine's day has been a rather disastrous time of year for me romantically since Tech School. Consequently, I avoid the subject and the day as much as possible. It has come to the point that I let all of those ads for FootieHoodies, NewEnglandTheodoreBears and myriad Flower Vendors go in one ear and out the other.

This brings me a personal anecdote and clear illustration of why I am still single.

On the fourteenth of this month I was preparing to set out on a journey to visit this really Great Domme. Aside from a tall cup of coffee, I purchased a certain sparkling beverage and some bottled water for our rendezvous. Then it hit me... The fourteenth of February is... The bane of an otherwise perfect season... Yes folks... Valentine's Day!!!! I was in an absolute BLIND PANIC!

I desperately searched around for an appropriate token of Valentine worthy esteem. My choices were meager at best. The flowers that I saw were wilted to the point that they wouldn't survive the ninety some mile journey. There was a cute little bear holding a big, inflated, thingy. This bear was just TOO cute. Last, there were helium filled Mylar balloons. If I had one of those balloons bouncing around in my SUV for ninety miles of driving I'd crash by mile thirty. I chose the too cute bear with the big inflated thingy. I was not going visit a Really Great Domme with out a Valentine token after all.

The miles flew buy as I approached HER home. Shortly before my arrival, I took a close look at this bear. Tied to it's neck was a small bag of chocolate "Kisses." I was STUNNED! SHE hates chocolate. I was in an absolute BLIND PANIC! Then it hit me. SHE only orders water when we go out to restaurants. I had already purchased water; I could forget about the way too cute bear with the inflated thingy. (I have been trying to pay attention to HER likes.)

So there I was... Presenting a REALLY GREAT DOMME with a bottle of Meier's Sparkling Apple Juice and a case of Dasani bottled water for Valentine's Day!

Chagrined but Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

PS. The next day, I gave my mom the too cute bear with the inflated thingy, My mom, AKA Deadeye, chews nails for breakfast but she likes chocolate kisses. Before I left her house for my day of Snow Ranging; I noticed that she had put the thing right smack in the middle of her couch.

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/15/2011 10:29:25 PM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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wb Mike.. and great post! :-D

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SnowRanger)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/17/2011 8:42:39 PM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Courtship is a skill. So is flirting. Some men don't learn to do either, and don't practice either

This I do agree with ....

Courtship and Flirting are arts, and few men understand this.

Although, I gave up practicing a few decades ago ...

...

Come on guys, get with it!

Tis easy ... if you try (and practice!)

And you know the old saying .... practice makes perfect!

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/18/2011 3:02:42 AM

KeepMeUnderneath

Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
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Today 2 girls burped at me. ... TWO!!! I have to flirt with that?

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/18/2011 5:51:05 AM

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Joined: 6/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Courtship is a skill. So is flirting. Some men don't learn to do either, and don't practice either, and this is stuff many men figure out early in life through trial and error, through peers and older siblings, and through observing others doing it.

"Courtship is a skill"....and I'm starting to wonder if its also not a lost art.

My opinion...I think there's a disconnect that's developed because of the instant gradification society we've become. No one seems to have the patience to spend time wooing a prospective partner.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/19/2011 8:04:37 AM

SubmissiveSam88

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regarding the beginning of this thread about subs being cheap, when I first got involved in the scene, I had just graduated, hence had no cash. I got into a relationship with a domme who was 5 years older and had more money then me, she wasn't rich by any means, but she had more. After a few months, she sent me a message saying I was getting on her nerves how much of a cheapskate I was, i.e splitting the cost of the meal at a diner, buying our own drinks at a bar etc. I was offended by this, but I still don't think I was a cheapskate, as I literally could not afford to pay for much for her. I was open with her and told her my situation, but still she called me this. I am British, and this was in NY, so do you think the different cultures played a part? I tried to use my creativity at times, but the fact that she called me a cheapskate pissed me off. How was I to avoid it, and what should I do in the future?

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/19/2011 9:27:41 AM

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Joined: 9/5/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

Today 2 girls burped at me. ... TWO!!! I have to flirt with that?

That wasn't a burp.

It was a redneck mating call.

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/19/2011 9:40:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveSam88
I got into a relationship with a domme who was 5 years older and had more money then me, she wasn't rich by any means, but she had more.

I'm wondering why you mentioned that she was 5 years older... Was there an expectation that she would carry you financially, since she was older?
The fact that she had more money than you, should only factor in, if she was the one choosing and planning the dates, at places you could not afford to take a date.

quote:

After a few months, she sent me a message saying I was getting on her nerves how much of a cheapskate I was, i.e splitting the cost of the meal at a diner, buying our own drinks at a bar etc

Again, who was planning these dates? Who was courting whom? If I choose to date a poor person, and plan the dates, I will pay, or split the check, but wouldn't think him cheap.

quote:

I still don't think I was a cheapskate, as I literally could not afford to pay for much for her. I was open with her and told her my situation, but still she called me this.

Did you pay close enough attention to figure out what she might like, that doesn't cost money, but more time/generosity of spirit? I find it hard to believe, that an older woman, who knows you're newly out of college, would expect you to buy her dinner and drinks, but that is just me.

quote:

I am British, and this was in NY, so do you think the different cultures played a part? I tried to use my creativity at times, but the fact that she called me a cheapskate pissed me off. How was I to avoid it, and what should I do in the future?

What do you mean by "I tried to use my creativity at times?" As they say, if you are poor, you'll just have to find a different way to do things. Walks in the park, prepare her shower, massages, clean her place, and ask if there are things you can do to make her day easier, etc...

I don't know if the cultural thing was a factor. I've not been to that specific area across the Atlantic, but if any of you are anything like you're portrayed on tv (reality or film), I would say, cultural difference does not account for the issues you encountered. *shrugs* M

(in reply to SubmissiveSam88)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 2/19/2011 10:03:18 AM

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

regarding the beginning of this thread about subs being cheap, when I first got involved in the scene, I had just graduated, hence had no cash. I got into a relationship with a domme who was 5 years older and had more money then me, she wasn't rich by any means, but she had more. After a few months, she sent me a message saying I was getting on her nerves how much of a cheapskate I was, i.e splitting the cost of the meal at a diner, buying our own drinks at a bar etc.

To me cheapskate = someone who has money but doesn't spend it. I don't want to get into the whole man - woman, who pays thing, so I shall use tipping as an example. Great service, lousy tip = cheapskate.

Frugal, on the other hand, is someone who doesn't have money and wisely does not spend it, choosing to cook at home, for example. I'm a foodie, and some of the most memorable meals I've had were prepared at home.

I'm happy to adjust the social activities to both parties' income level. If I want to go to an event that is not in my date's budget, I have no problem paying for both of us. If it wasn't in his budget due to being a recent graduate, no problem. If it's not in his budget because he's a lazy alcoholic, well, he certainly does not have Relationship potential :)

(in reply to SubmissiveSam88)

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