My thoughts on why some sub men are still single

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My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 7:41:56 AM

SomethingCatchy

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There's a thread below where a man is whining about why he can't find his dominatrix. He goes on about how he spends all this money on wining and dining her.

You don't have to spend money on someone to get to know them. Parks are free, picnics involving a $3 bottle of wine and some cheeses from the local pac-n-save are cheap, art museums usually have discount days or offer very cheap memberships (and you support local business). Cooking a gourmet meal at home can cost under $40 if you do it right.

In all of that wooing and smoozing you talk about your childhood, who you are as a person, your hobbies, interests that don't center on your penis or your kinks.

And guess what? After all that 'hard work' you get a woman who is genuinely into you.

So why are men like the gentleman below still looking for their 'dominatrix' ? Because they can't grasp the concept of KISS and think that bigger is better, and if she doesn't notice or appreciate all the grand things he's doing for her, then she must be a stuck up bitch. Women, in general, don't care about your grand things. The simplest things in the world can mean the most.

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 8:20:54 AM

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To be honest, a complete stranger doing "grand things" for me to impress me would make me feel uncomfy, like he's trying to buy me...

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 8:34:01 AM

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I have to admit, while I'm not so much on the grand things type idea, I think the ideas in the original are more for after a certain time period. The museum is a good one, but the others wouldn't stand up for a first meet type of deal. The picnic in the park idea might fly, but there are issues with that as well.

More often than not, I think folks on the first few outings should go the simple route. Coffee, lunch, drinks, or a munch that they both want to attend. None of these are terribly expensive and more likely to allow conversation to flow in the direction that the people want it to.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 11:06:19 AM

SomethingCatchy

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I have lived by some very wonderful parks that I really enjoy walking around. If I wanted to meet a sub, I would definitely suggest we meet at the park while I walk my dog, or he can bring along his. It's free, it's exercise, it's beautiful, we can talk about anything we want unless we're screaming at the top of our lungs about it.

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I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 12:11:18 PM

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There are many men that are single, and many reasons for that. I would venture that being cheap is not s majorv reason. And some of those men are submissive.,

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 12:24:52 PM

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A walk in the park wouldn't work for me, I'd rather meet in a discrete cafe, now if a cup of coffee is beyond a person's means, it indicates other problems and to be honest, I wouldn't mesh very well with a person who's too tight to spend money on something like a cup of coffee.

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 12:29:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There are many men that are single, and many reasons for that. I would venture that being cheap is not s majorv reason. And some of those men are submissive.,

Actually DS, a man being cheap is really a huge turn off, especially if they ask you out on a date and then complain about the prices on the restaurant THEY chose. That happened to me last week and he is history now. Oh, and he made good money but being cheap has nothing to do with financial solvency, it often has to do with something else.

And that something else is what turns me and many others off. I don't need someone for their money, but I need someone with the maturity to own up to their own actions and who possesses the self awareness to know how money affects them.

And it is not a Dom or sub trait, it is an individual trait.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 1:04:59 PM

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We had a thread a while back that was on the topic of why some folks are single. (Forgive Me for not linking the thread, atm.) I'll say here what I said there. In some cases, it really does boil down to location. There are some fabulous subs of both genders that, at least on first impression, would make excellent partners for someone.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 1:11:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Actually DS, a man being cheap is really a huge turn off, especially if they ask you out on a date and then complain about the prices on the restaurant THEY chose. That happened to me last week and he is history now. Oh, and he made good money but being cheap has nothing to do with financial solvency, it often has to do with something else.

And that something else is what turns me and many others off. I don't need someone for their money, but I need someone with the maturity to own up to their own actions and who possesses the self awareness to know how money affects them.

And it is not a Dom or sub trait, it is an individual trait.

Couldn't agree more with you, if a guy would tell me he can't afford a drink right now for whatever reasons, I would possibly invite him to have one on me, not a big deal, but a guy giving me the feeling he grudges the price he pays for a cup of coffee - NO WAY IN HELL.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to sexyred1)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 1:24:27 PM

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<Cue the poster who always bitches about having to buy a cup of coffee.>

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 1:29:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<Cue the poster who always bitches about having to buy a cup of coffee.>

Kevin still around?

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Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 1:50:58 PM

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I think he was more "pros should top for free' category. Of course, I don't think he ever really had the mental capacity to understand why most people wouldn't want to be in the same room with him without getting paid.

No, I was thinking of someone else entirely. I think half of the regulars on the forums have him blocked.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/25/2011 1:51:28 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 2:19:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I have to admit, while I'm not so much on the grand things type idea, I think the ideas in the original are more for after a certain time period. The museum is a good one, but the others wouldn't stand up for a first meet type of deal. The picnic in the park idea might fly, but there are issues with that as well.

More often than not, I think folks on the first few outings should go the simple route. Coffee, lunch, drinks, or a munch that they both want to attend. None of these are terribly expensive and more likely to allow conversation to flow in the direction that the people want it to.

What? There is a problem with meeting a strange man you do not know in a secluded wooded park? But you are in public, it must be safe! Funny part is I am a nature lover and had to rethink the park idea from the woman's perspective.

If you are really strapped for money, a coffee bar is pretty frugal. I prefer a resturant that does not get to crowded for lunch or dinner. Some other choices might be your local zoo, indoor gardens (Krohn conservetory for those of us in Cincinnati), local festivals or look in your local paper for weekend events.

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 2:24:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think he was more "pros should top for free' category. Of course, I don't think he ever really had the mental capacity to understand why most people wouldn't want to be in the same room with him without getting paid.

Ha, lol, only most people here aren't masochists...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
No, I was thinking of someone else entirely. I think half of the regulars on the forums have him blocked.

Ahhh, could be a reason why I don't know, I possibly use the block already and have him banished from my mind

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 2:27:44 PM

YSG

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There's also the constant whining too. Plus the (usually) blank profiles

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 4:49:43 PM

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some are just not certain on what they want or are too narrow minded to allow anyone in to there life. some just have not had the experience to know what to do on a date. this is based on some of the wallflower subs i have met at public dungeons. i just went to local events and chatted on line i met my Mistress on alt but agreed to meet at the nearest public dungeon in Atlanta i was in Augusta 2-3hr drive just to meet and no play. i was willing to make a effort in meeting someone and no expectations other than just meeting. this might help with some of the subs out there go and do for yourself

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 4:54:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think he was more "pros should top for free' category. Of course, I don't think he ever really had the mental capacity to understand why most people wouldn't want to be in the same room with him without getting paid.

No, I was thinking of someone else entirely. I think half of the regulars on the forums have him blocked.

I know who LadyP. means. My secret admirer.

.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 5:12:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Couldn't agree more with you, if a guy would tell me he can't afford a drink right now for whatever reasons, I would possibly invite him to have one on me, not a big deal, but a guy giving me the feeling he grudges the price he pays for a cup of coffee - NO WAY IN HELL.

Surprised you'd hint that you'd enjoy meeting a man for coffee, Lady C.

I'm still so much looking forward to meeting you in a cafe, so I can bellow the word 'MISTRESS!!!' at you from the other side of the room, then bound straight over and onto the floor to kiss your boots.

I still laugh about that story, even now. Poor, poor Lady C. *Cackle*

And you will never, ever know, for absolute certain, that I won't do the exact same thing when we first meet.

Heh.

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 1/25/2011 5:14:07 PM >

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 5:21:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

And you will never, ever know, for absolute certain, that I won't do the exact same thing when we first meet.

Heh.

I always thought you were not suicidal?

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: My thoughts on why some sub men are still single - 1/25/2011 5:31:11 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
I always thought you were not suicidal?

I'm no fool. I'll wait till you're wearing something that you can't kick in, and it won't happen when your man-killing mutt is around, either.

The mother of all embarrassments awaits you presently, Lady C, you mark my words.

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