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Corny Joke contest. - 1/25/2011 8:03:10 PM   
Hillwilliam


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I dunno if it's ever been done before but if it has, let's do it again.

Announcing the "Corny Joke Contest"
Self explanatory and I'll go first

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?

A: To prove to the possum that it COULD be done.
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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/25/2011 8:13:54 PM   
WyldHrt


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I'll play. 

Two peanuts were crossing the road and one of them was assaulted.... peanut.


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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/25/2011 10:34:09 PM   
tazzygirl


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Love is grand

divorce is a hundred grand.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 2:46:14 AM   
MercTech


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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road....

It just had to lay it on the line.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 9:55:54 AM   
hlen5


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Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? Cause he was looking for Pooh!

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 10:29:34 AM   
Hillwilliam


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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came charging over the hill?

"Here come the elephants charging over the hill"


What did Tarzan say when the elephants came charging over the hill wearing sunglasses?


Scroll



Down




For




Answer





He didn't say anything. He didnt recognize them.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 10:35:17 AM   
Aylee


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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee".

The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says:







"HEBREWS"


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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 6:47:41 PM   
Sanguinarian


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(Curtesy of my chiblers)
 
Why should you never play cards in the jungle?
 
Too many cheetahs.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 6:56:26 PM   
salemartist


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You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 7:04:32 PM   
Aylee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sanguinarian

(Curtesy of my chiblers)
 
Why should you never play cards in the jungle?
 
Too many cheetahs.


Don't be lion like that.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 1/26/2011 7:32:56 PM   
dcnovice


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There was a little girl named Nelly
Who went into the water up to her knees.
It doesn't rhyme now,
But it will when the tide comes in.

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it's never enough to keep up.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 6:19:22 PM   
Termyn8or


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Chooch : I ain't never had weed so good I couldn't find my own ass hole.
Cheng : That's cause you never looked !

T^T

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 7:26:00 PM   
chubbysubbyguy


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How does a pirate get to work?

He drives his C-aaaarrrrr

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 8:03:11 PM   
mummyman321


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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.



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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 9:27:02 PM   
TheHeretic


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Two cows are down at the watering hole

First cow asks the other, "do you worry about mad cow disease?"

Second cow says, "what do I care? I'm a helicopter."

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 9:29:20 PM   
Musicmystery


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Customer: This coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: Well, it was just ground this morning...

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/3/2011 9:33:19 PM   
dcnovice


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Why do elephants paint their toe nails different colors.

I don't know. Why do they?

So they can hide in M&M bags.

Huh?

Have you ever seen an elephant in an M&M bag?

No.

Well, see how well it works!

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 8:29:30 AM   
Hillwilliam


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Q: Why shouldn't you walk into the jungle between 2 and 3 in the afternoon?

A: That's when the elephants are jumping out of trees.

Q: Why are pygmys so short?

A: They go into the jungle between 2 and 3 in the afternoon.

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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 9:00:03 AM   
mummyman321


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What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
OK you two - don't start anything.


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RE: Corny Joke contest. - 2/4/2011 9:55:44 AM   
SadistAndSlave


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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
because he had no guts!

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