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RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 6:33:01 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner
I pay about zero attention to male domination of women in BDSM. Is it true that female slaves have the power? Most Dominas would dismiss a male slave for binge drinking for weeks or at least take corrective measures to make certain the drinking stopped.

Well, in any consensual relationship both parties hold the power to end the relationship. Assuming that anything this guy said is true for a second, he was getting into a relationship with a homeless alcoholic. He must have been really desperate, perhaps to the point that he was only aware of her power in that regard.


(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 7:29:37 AM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
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From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner
I pay about zero attention to male domination of women in BDSM. Is it true that female slaves have the power? Most Dominas would dismiss a male slave for binge drinking for weeks or at least take corrective measures to make certain the drinking stopped.

Well, in any consensual relationship both parties hold the power to end the relationship. Assuming that anything this guy said is true for a second, he was getting into a relationship with a homeless alcoholic. He must have been really desperate, perhaps to the point that he was only aware of her power in that regard.





Maybe there wasn't any consent in the relationship, and it was just a hot mess. Given that the relationship started over an ad on CRAIGSLIST, i wouldn't be suprised if that was the case.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 7:50:48 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14408
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


I hate to state the obvious, but somebody who needs emotional help and is everything but mentally and emotionally stable, would anybody in their right frame of mind enter a BDSM relationship with such a person where being tied to a bed, a radiator and rape play features largely? Especially somebody you don't really know and met over an ad on Craig's List, that's asking for trouble and is almost criminally stupid, and that is assuming that she didn't safeword and/or told him that it is going too far.
People do it everyday, right here on this website. Look at the number of posts from D types wanting to know how to get past the emotional/mental health issues of their subs.

Sometimes the issues aren't immediately apparent. People who are damaged can be very good at putting on the "I'm perfect" face for short periods of time. Then suddenly things fall apart. It's very possible that they hooked up several times over the past two years for short periods of time....and nothing presented itself. But, when in the same living situation for several weeks, her issues reared their heads.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 10:51:41 AM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


I hate to state the obvious, but somebody who needs emotional help and is everything but mentally and emotionally stable, would anybody in their right frame of mind enter a BDSM relationship with such a person where being tied to a bed, a radiator and rape play features largely? Especially somebody you don't really know and met over an ad on Craig's List, that's asking for trouble and is almost criminally stupid, and that is assuming that she didn't safeword and/or told him that it is going too far.
People do it everyday, right here on this website. Look at the number of posts from D types wanting to know how to get past the emotional/mental health issues of their subs.

Sometimes the issues aren't immediately apparent. People who are damaged can be very good at putting on the "I'm perfect" face for short periods of time. Then suddenly things fall apart. It's very possible that they hooked up several times over the past two years for short periods of time....and nothing presented itself. But, when in the same living situation for several weeks, her issues reared their heads.




i know when i stayed with my first Master for a week and three days, things were going well, until it fell apart due to his wife.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 11:09:49 AM   
isoLadyOwner


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

She left his home, was then kicked out of her friend's apartment on the upper West Side and claimed she crashed in Central Park one night, where she was attacked, Hopkins said.

"I'm convinced those are where the scratches came from," he said. "I didn't do any of that."

Hopkins said the woman returned to his place Friday where she downed half a bottle of vodka.

His story sounds a bit odd as well and at a minimum he was a piss poor Dom.


What would you have him do? Keep her in the apartment against her will? Isnt that what she is accusing him of now?


If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker. If there was a lease I would have taken steps to evict her.

I would not have had any sexual contact with her after realizing she may be unable to consent (whether its due to mental/emotional issues, or alcoholism).

I have zero interest in dominating women but even if I wanted to dominate women I would avoid "rape fantasy" like the plague. He put himself at her mercy if what he says is true.

In Female Dominant hetero lifestyle BDSM control tends to be very important. A lifestyle male slave is not in control, the foundation of the relationship is his surrender of control.

Arguing she was his slave yet also an uncontrollable alcoholic, who was actually in control of him, seems to be a contradiction. Maybe female slaves do have all the "power" in hetero male dominant BDSM as Hopkins claims.

I suppose the Defense will need to bring in BDSM experts to bolster Hopkins claim that "Everything we did was role-playing. In the game of role-play, the 'slave' actually has the power." Women do tend to hold the cards (if they want to) in vanilla relationships so maybe he's telling the truth.

I can't help but to view this from the perspective of a male sub/slave who has been lucky enough to have known a wonderful lifestyle Domina. The relationship was all about Her control, binge drinking would probably have earned me an immediate dismissal.

I don't know who to believe, it will be interesting to see if she was binge drinking in NYC for weeks and sleeping in Central Park.

The whole "rape fantasy" scenario is a recipe for disaster and imprisonment.

Its possible he was just plain desperate and willing to put up with anything. Now he gets to put up with Rikers Island for the time being...



< Message edited by isoLadyOwner -- 2/23/2011 11:42:25 AM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 1:05:07 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
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quote:

If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker. If there was a lease I would have taken steps to evict her.


A two year relationship, according to him. And do you have any clue how long it takes to get someone evicted?

quote:

In Female Dominant hetero lifestyle BDSM control tends to be very important. A lifestyle male slave is not in control, the foundation of the relationship is his surrender of control.

Arguing she was his slave yet also an uncontrollable alcoholic, who was actually in control of him, seems to be a contradiction. Maybe female slaves do have all the "power" in hetero male dominant BDSM as Hopkins claims.


The bottoms always have control. Doesnt matter if its male or female. If your Domme was a binge drinker, would you still keep her? Would you have sex with her? Or would you recognize she has a problem and help her deal with it?

quote:

I don't know who to believe, it will be interesting to see if she was binge drinking in NYC for weeks and sleeping in Central Park.

The whole "rape fantasy" scenario is a recipe for disaster and imprisonment.

Its possible he was just plain desperate and willing to put up with anything. Now he gets to put up with Rikers Island for the time being...


No one knows who to believe. But boy, were you ready to see this man swing for what he did to her.... until more of the story was told. Many here pointed out there was more... seen this too many times.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 3:25:32 PM   
GotSteel


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Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gothikbutterfly
Maybe there wasn't any consent in the relationship, and it was just a hot mess. Given that the relationship started over an ad on CRAIGSLIST, i wouldn't be suprised if that was the case.

I don't know about the rest of it but I'm fairly convinced of one thing at this point, it was a mess.

(in reply to gothikbutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 4:56:25 PM   
isoLadyOwner


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker. If there was a lease I would have taken steps to evict her.


A two year relationship, according to him. And do you have any clue how long it takes to get someone evicted?

quote:

In Female Dominant hetero lifestyle BDSM control tends to be very important. A lifestyle male slave is not in control, the foundation of the relationship is his surrender of control.

Arguing she was his slave yet also an uncontrollable alcoholic, who was actually in control of him, seems to be a contradiction. Maybe female slaves do have all the "power" in hetero male dominant BDSM as Hopkins claims.


The bottoms always have control. Doesnt matter if its male or female. If your Domme was a binge drinker, would you still keep her? Would you have sex with her? Or would you recognize she has a problem and help her deal with it?

quote:

I don't know who to believe, it will be interesting to see if she was binge drinking in NYC for weeks and sleeping in Central Park.

The whole "rape fantasy" scenario is a recipe for disaster and imprisonment.

Its possible he was just plain desperate and willing to put up with anything. Now he gets to put up with Rikers Island for the time being...


No one knows who to believe. But boy, were you ready to see this man swing for what he did to her.... until more of the story was told. Many here pointed out there was more... seen this too many times.


If my Domme had been a binge drinker or heavy duty alcoholic I would have been gone at the very first opportunity. She was into edge play. I would have had trust issues with a drunken Mistress. I think you and I disagree so fundamentally on the degree of control involved in a lifestyle Mistress/slave relationship its best to agree to disagree. I would never have gone to the authorities about a relationship I had consented to. It felt like my life was in Her hands a bit more than my having control over Her actions. Its not worth debating.

Eviction is both time consuming and expensive, its likely he would actually lose in Court if she was paying her rent or doing her chores. He should have done everything possible to distance himself from her and an eviction proceeding would put on record that she was a problem tenant. If she's unstable and accused him of rape it could have messed his life up.

If he had distanced himself and not created fresh evidence of an actual rape he would be a bit easier to defend.

I'm actually still "ready to see this man swing for what he did to her.... until more of the story was told."

Defendants in Rape cases always blame the victim, its standard operating procedure. Accusing the victim of being a drunk is standard too.

He's going out on a limb by claiming they had a two year relationship and that she went on a wild drinking binge for weeks in NYC getting attacked by strangers in Central Park then coming home to him for a raping.

She claims they were together 8 days. It shouldn't be too hard to find out if she was living her life and not getting raped in Wisconsin 8 days before they met or living as a drunken semi-homeless vagrant tearing up Manhattan and inviting sexual assault as he claims.

Its an audacious defense on his part.

Hopkins' problem is that even if it was "fantasy rape" he probably created very solid evidence of a First Degree Rape possibly including ligature marks, DNA evidence, instruments of torture, and the victim found by police in his bed curled in a fetal position, bleeding from her rectum, and telling the police she was raped.

It doesn't look good for him right now. He is in Rikers Island on something like $350,000 bail, charged with several felony offenses. Unless she is lying about everything he will probably stay there.

I am not on Hopkins side unless his insane story is true and I think it has some holes.

I think you're trolling anyway.







< Message edited by isoLadyOwner -- 2/23/2011 5:12:13 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 6:38:01 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14408
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner

If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker.
So, you'd throw someone out onto the streets of New York in the middle of worst winter in years because they're an alcoholic.

She had left, stayed with a friend where she had been booted out and came back. It's possible that he felt bad for her and was trying to help her. It's possible he didn't touch her once she came back.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 6:49:44 PM   
isoLadyOwner


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner

If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker.
So, you'd throw someone out onto the streets of New York in the middle of worst winter in years because they're an alcoholic.

She had left, stayed with a friend where she had been booted out and came back. It's possible that he felt bad for her and was trying to help her. It's possible he didn't touch her once she came back.


Since you put it that way I would probably choose to do the humanitarian thing and spend the rest of my life in prison.

Hopkins is a Defendant in a First Degree Rape case, accused rapists are rarely given the benefit of the doubt.

Some people here don't even know a bottom is a bit different than a slave, CM is a strange place.

Edit: Even if you take his story as completely true, there are other choices.

He could have paid for her to stay in a hotel, for example. Had he done so he might not be standing accused of Rape.

He's really pulling out all the stops. He's trying the "she asked for it" defense, the "she's a drunk" defense, the "phantom attacker" defense, not only that but if he gets convicted he's a good samaritan.

I still think he's lying about some of this stuff.







< Message edited by isoLadyOwner -- 2/23/2011 7:31:08 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 7:39:52 PM   
freyjasdottir


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: PA
Status: offline
Hate to break this to you, but there is a good chance even if he did everything she claims he can still walk in the end. Our legal system isn't perfect. And if he's telling the truth he can still end up in prison for the same reason.

(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/23/2011 7:47:12 PM   
isoLadyOwner


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freyjasdottir

Hate to break this to you, but there is a good chance even if he did everything she claims he can still walk in the end. Our legal system isn't perfect. And if he's telling the truth he can still end up in prison for the same reason.


You mean OJ Simpson didn't get convicted, or Robert Blake?

I'm well aware of how the system works.

He might walk, he also might get murdered prior to trial, he might even have to pay Attorney fees unless he wants a Public Defender.

I hate to break it to you but this is planet Earth.

His life will never be the same, whether he is convicted or not.


(in reply to freyjasdottir)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/24/2011 6:06:38 AM   
gothikbutterfly


Posts: 484
Joined: 12/4/2010
From: the deepest darkest recesses of your mind
Status: offline
either way, its just a big hot mess

(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/24/2011 6:42:50 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14408
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: isoLadyOwner

If I had been in his position I would have dismissed her immediately upon discovering she was a binge drinker.
So, you'd throw someone out onto the streets of New York in the middle of worst winter in years because they're an alcoholic.

She had left, stayed with a friend where she had been booted out and came back. It's possible that he felt bad for her and was trying to help her. It's possible he didn't touch her once she came back.


Since you put it that way I would probably choose to do the humanitarian thing and spend the rest of my life in prison.
So, he was supposed to psychically divine that all this was going to happen and know better.


quote:

He could have paid for her to stay in a hotel, for example.
Easier said than done in New York. Especially with the winter they're having.

quote:

Had he done so he might not be standing accused of Rape.
Had he done so might STILL be accused of rape.

quote:

I still think he's lying about some of this stuff.
Both sides are lying and neither side is completely innocent.

You're just so postive and holier than thou about what he SHOULD have done. The fact is that life is a series of choices and we make those choices based on what's in front of us. We weren't there. We don't know what led to these choices. I'm not saying that they made great choices, just that we don't really know the situation. We're a bunch of outsiders saying "What if...".







_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to isoLadyOwner)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 2/24/2011 7:29:11 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

~FR

A Brooklyn man lashed out at the woman he is accused of keeping as a sex slave yesterday, claiming their relationship was consensual and the tryst started when she posted an ad on craigslist looking for a kinky hookup.

In an exclusive jailhouse interview, John Hopkins said he has one question for the Wisconsin woman who has accused him of rape: "Why did you do this to me?"

Wearing a gray Department of Correction jumpsuit, Hopkins, 45, looked disheveled and unshaven as he recalled responding to the ad his accuser posted on craigslist two years ago looking for sex.

The Williamsburg resident said they started to meet up for role-play sex sessions that involved him tying her up as the "slave" while he acted as "master."

"I didn't rape her," insisted Hopkins, who works as an audio engineer. "Everything we did was role-playing. In the game of role-play, the 'slave' actually has the power."

Hopkins is holed up in Rikers Island in lieu of $350,000 bail. He faces a first-degree rape charge and a litany of other charges.

The victim, whose name has not been released, claimed that she was the one to respond to Hopkins' advertisement about a room in his apartment, and he offered her free rent in exchange for cooking.

She said she arrived in the city Feb. 4 and was allegedly gagged, blind-folded and handcuffed to a radiator before being beaten and raped for eight days.

Hopkins said that account is a lie.

"Everything they're saying I did was consensual," Hopkins said. "She could have left if she wanted to, but she didn't."

Hopkins said his kinky sex games with the 27-year-old Midwest woman continued until a few weeks ago when she started drinking heavily.

She left his home, was then kicked out of her friend's apartment on the upper West Side and claimed she crashed in Central Park one night, where she was attacked, Hopkins said.

"I'm convinced those are where the scratches came from," he said. "I didn't do any of that."

Hopkins said the woman returned to his place Friday where she downed half a bottle of vodka.

He said he phoned her mother to tell her the situation and she spoke to her daughter, a sushi chef, for half an hour.

When they hung up, her mother then called the cops and Hopkins was swiftly arrested, Hopkins said.

"I got railroaded," he said. "A woman says anything happened to them in New York State, and they believe her and not the man. It's not fair."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2011/02/20/2011-02-20_i_swear_we_just_played_sex_games_craigslist_slave_susp_speaks_out.html

The twists and turns continue.


There is no jury that will swallow the bolded portion as justification for a relocation.  Her story conflicts with the records she's left.

If she's not a credible witness, then the case is dead.  She'll be lucky if he doesn't sue her.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 3/10/2011 7:57:04 PM   
tenderflame


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/16/2010
Status: offline
Sorry but I'm not buying this story either.....one or both of these people misrepresented themselves in some form or the other. Maybe they agreed she would be his slave and then when she got there he was harsher than she expected and took it past her limits.....but some things sound awfully fishy on her end for sure. i don't know about the rest of you.....but there's no way in hell i would hop a plane to go hundreds of miles from home to be some dude's live in cook and housekeeper...without knowing him....without checking him out.....just on a freakin whim???????? i wouldn't go there and do that for an agreed upon Master/slave thing without have known him first....met him on neutral grounds....played a bit real time....stupidity on his part and hers is what is sounds like to me. I mean damn.....Dominants take a calculated risk anyway when meeting with a new sub....just as the sub takes a calculated risk.....Safe is a key word here...

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 3/13/2011 1:35:42 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
Greetings,

I read the story over at Felife and it was suggested t that he paid for her ticket. That puts a different spin on the entire debacle. Even if his intentions were honorable many people would assume that they had some form of personal relationship. It would be inconceivable for most that he would be generous without something in return. As for the young woman, I can't judge her harshly. I've taken my fair share of risks in my twenties that I wouldn't do at present with online liaisons. Things have changed.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to tenderflame)
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RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 3/13/2011 4:41:50 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
FR

Now you see why kinksters are so feared. How can you express that if you got a sub tied down that you would risk your life to get them out FIRST ? How can you make people believe that ? How can you prove that we arent't a bunch of Ted Bundys or whatever that other guy, the one running down to Waco with the BBQ sauce. What was his name ?

Proving it by not drawing atention doen't seem to work. Anything you do for pleasure gets shut down if they can faind any most remote and infinitesimal reason. Does this make it clear ?

T^T

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 3/13/2011 12:12:16 PM   
subexploring


Posts: 103
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

http://www.brooklynpaper.com/stories/34/8/wb_sexdungeonfolo_2011_2_25_bk.html

“I wish nothing more than to serve your every demand (and maybe forcedly…),” read a Dec. 27 e-mail that Stoll said was from the accuser to Hopkins. “I want nothing more than to please you, Master.”

...a Feb. 5 e-mail that Stoll said the accuser wrote to Hopkins said, “I yearn to serve my Master better. Can i cook for you tomarrow (sic)? I love you so much.”
...

“These accusations only arose when my client called the complainant’s mother, to tell her that her daughter needed some emotional help, and should probably go back home.”



I hate to state the obvious, but somebody who needs emotional help and is everything but mentally and emotionally stable, would anybody in their right frame of mind enter a BDSM relationship with such a person where being tied to a bed, a radiator and rape play features largely? Especially somebody you don't really know and met over an ad on Craig's List, that's asking for trouble and is almost criminally stupid, and that is assuming that she didn't safeword and/or told him that it is going too far.

For example if a woman has rape play in her profile here, a guy would need to be extremely stupid to meet her and attempt to rape her. It might be less exciting to get to know somebody first, but staying out of prison is possibly also less exciting than being behind bars...



Being tied to a bed and simulating rape are pretty standard BDSM acts that even casual players engage in (I'm not even a dominant and I've had a number of outwardly vanilla girlfriends enjoy this kind of play). And in case you haven't noticed, a fair fraction of people have emotional issues of one sort or other, issues that can be hard to spot until you're already involved with them. It looks to me like this guy caught up in something that could certainly happen to people around here, and also that he was being responsible by calling her mother. I'm a little surprised at your rush to judgement.

< Message edited by subexploring -- 3/13/2011 12:13:35 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Woman held captive as sex slave in NYC - 3/13/2011 12:21:44 PM   
subexploring


Posts: 103
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There is no jury that will swallow the bolded portion as justification for a relocation.  Her story conflicts with the records she's left.

If she's not a credible witness, then the case is dead.  She'll be lucky if he doesn't sue her.



Unfortunately, I wouldn't be so sure. If this case is causing controversy even within a group of BDSM players who play with consent and force all the time, then chances are this guy is in a lot of trouble once it gets in front of a jury. The evidence for consent is strong enough that he might get off, but there's a good chance he ends up in prison for a long time. His best hope is that she drops it.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 80
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