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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 1:18:58 AM   
Selectivelight


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Fifty three goats, two sheep (unused) and my firstborn son. Top -THAT-.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 1:24:27 AM   
HannahLynHeather


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fuck!!! heather, how many oxen equal a firstborn son? <regretting that abortion now!!!>

hannah lynn

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 2:52:13 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i don't hate them or have contempt for them. in fact i sort of admire them, it takes guts to go against the grain. that being said, i just don't like them. they give me the creeps.

hannah lynn

eta: jesus peon, with that bod, if they don't invite you i sure as fuck will!


Thank you. But do you really want to invite a creep like me to your party?

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 3:15:49 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
You apparently. That is, in fact, my big mystery in all the "natural order" thing. If I want to know about ants and their habits, then I look at what ants actually do. If I want to look at wolves and their habits, then I look at what wolves actually do. If I want to look at humans and their habits, then I look at what humans actually do. And in our case, what we naturally do is build great big complex and incredibly intricate societies. I don't think society is against the natural order. I think it IS the natural order. How can one think anything else without going to made up theoretical humans?

Third, who does not believe nature has an uncompromising order?
Well now that's a pretty damned vague statement. Do you mean an order of dominance? Well sort of yeah... But the idea that it is strongly gender linked and/or it's static doesn't conform with my observations of actual behavior, either human or otherwise. And, again, I try to make sure my theoretical hypothesis actually line up with the real world experimental data.

Finally, it is clear the the natural order is not just "a gorean thing" but is a "everybody thing".
I disagree. As I noted above, I have no such concept that might be profitably applied to men and women. In fact, I find all such statements to fly in the face of all observational data. Even more interestingly, they typically rely on that time-honored tradition of ignoring any data which doesn't support the preconceived conclusion -- in this case tossing out the entirety of humanity and all of our works as "not-natural" for no particular reason. Tossing out the entire sample set seems... well... a bit risky when forming conclusions.


Nicely said.

For me, a double balls-up is involved. First, a deluded person - let us call him 'Cretin' - will project onto non-human-nature the qualities that he wants to see in it. Then, he'll 'read off' those qualities in such a way that they'll confirm his own views of human society.

Arturas doesn't go all the way with his view of 'natural versus unnatural'. He says, in effect, that what other creatures don't do (allow him his personal selection of creatures, for the sake of argument - gorillas, but not bonobo monkeys or hyenas, for instance) - and say that *all* those things that other animals don't do, but which humans do, are 'unnatural'.

In which case, we're pretty damned screwed, so far as I can see. Cooking food is unnatural; driving cars, wearing clothes, cleaning one's teeth, washing with soap, using underarm deodorant - all these things are 'unnatural'. So is reasoning. And talking. And writing, including writing on this forum.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 3:18:32 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:


Will he suddenly reveal that my maleness correctly expressed in it's proper and natural dominate form is somehow unnatural
I fear not.


The word is dominant, Arturas. Jesus wept.


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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 4:52:43 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

I admire and respect male submissives very much, because they have the "balls" to go against the grain of what society "teaches" us.


This is not true. Society teaches tolerance for that which is not natural. Males who fight what is natural do not do so because they have "balls", in fact, they capitulate and surrender their genetic and natural heritage because they find it easier to do so than face the responsibilities and the risks and the successes and failures faced by a natural man who does not run from his gender. They run from their maleness because it is easier for the moment rather than stand and be counted on as one. They are men as women who then force women to be men. Did I mention this is unnatural? No, don't blame Society, that is simply running from responsibility and that is not manly either.


Well..........isn't that special?

I've tried really, really hard to stay out of this ridiculous thread.

Unfortunately, I don't tolerate arrogance and pomposity very well.

I have found many so-called dominant men to be weak little boys who can't face life so they escape into their fantasy of being superior.

That usually all collapses when reality intrudes into fantasy land.

And I think I am talking to one now.






< Message edited by rulemylife -- 4/29/2011 4:59:29 AM >

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 4:53:01 AM   
GreedyTop


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*hugs and soothes Peon*

No, really.. I'm just soothing him!!

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:05:48 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist
I find myself wondering how often other Doms harbor feelings that are similar to his, if possibly less intense and uncompromising. Obviously, I wouldn't expect them to be forthcoming about such feelings at a party or a munch. So: do you have contempt for submissive males, and if so, why? I won't argue with you, however much I may disagree; for the purposes of this thread, I only want to see your point of view.


I'm somewhat of the outsider looking in on this.  Being a female Dominant, the majority of male Dominants that I know wouldn't be offensive to Me and Mine, so any such contempt wouldn't be revealed.

Over the years, however, I have had a few occasions where I have seen Dominant men with a certain attitude regarding submissive males.  More often than not, it comes from those who have an interest in experiencing submission, or at the very least bottoming, but don't have the ability or courage to see it through.  In a couple of cases, it was very specifically males who had wanted to submit, in fact even attempted it, but were unable to be successful in doing so.  It wasn't so much that they found they were "really a Dom" inside.  It wasn't necessarily that they were "bad" submissives, either.  It was more that they couldn't accept who they really were, so they took on a Dominant role.  They were so caught up in their own head about what society *thought* they were supposed to be that the projected that on everyone else, and ended up making themselves miserable.  In the end, they took the path that they thought was easier, rather than what they really wanted.

This isn't to say that I think the above is the case of all Dominant men who might feel this way.  At the same time, there are cases where such contempt is a version of jealousy, or at the very minimum, a slight touch of envy.


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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:15:21 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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quote:

Specifically Chinese history because it's the record of a singularly ruthless civilisation over a long period of time. Chinese history contains millenia of highly strategic maneuverings with the kind of ruthlessness which sees enemies execute the entire dynasty - women and children included - of their conquered foes. Mercy was rare. I am hard pressed to think of a similar example.
Awareness

How about those Romans? They crushed the Celts and rewrote their history, obliterated the Germanic peoples, then moved south to wipe out the Dacians. They did such a thorough job on the Dacians, anthropologists are just now figuring out who they were, 2000 years later.






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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:29:03 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Selectivelight
This is not true. Society teaches tolerance for that which is not natural. 

It's a gorean thing relying on notions of "natural order". I'd recommend ignoring it unless you're either gorean or believe in some other "natural order". Basically, either it's self-supporting in your own mind or it'll give you a headache thinking about it. Faith is like that.


I don't think I agree with much of what you said although I respect your right to be wrong. First, who does not believe in nature? Second, who does not think they are part of nature? Third, who does not believe nature has an uncompromising order? Therefore most everyone believes in the order of nature and those that don't should. A+B+C=D.

Finally, it is clear the the natural order is not just "a gorean thing" but is a "everybody thing".


Then explain to me, nature boy, those species in which the female is dominant.

Then we can move on to human matriarchal societies.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:31:21 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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But what is true no matter where you are or who you are is the normal healthy male will dominate and that is the order of nature.  Arturas

Your world view of males being the natural leaders is short sighted, at best. Human history is filled with impressive societies where women were often given as much power as men. The Celts, the Egyptians, the Sarmatians, the Scythians, the English (Queen Elizabeth), the Russians (Catherine the Great).

If you think Queen Elizabeth or Catherine the Great were incapable of leading or dominating those around them, you need to re-read your history.


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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:32:06 AM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist
What about a guy whose strength will let him take 50 bloody singletail lashes without making a sound except for his breathing? If that strength is to some degree born of a yearning--I'll even call it a feminine yearning, for argument's sake--to please a woman at all costs, is it less real?
  He endures pain as a slave to his fetish.  Again, I'm not seeing the strength in this.  There are those who genuinely have pain thrust upon them and are unable to avoid it, yet he suffers simply to please the sad desires of a woman.

Such a man is not aspirational.  And men respect that which is aspirational.  Generally speaking that's going to be the fullest expression of masculinity we're capable of.  Something which dominant women speculate about - usually in derogatory terms - but don't really understand.   Sub women understand it all too well.

*shrug*  You asked dude.   Accept the reality that not everyone's going to think the way you and Dommes do.  A lot of men will think this way, but few on this board will be honest about it.  The fact that I have contempt for such men doesn't imply intolerance or that I'm on a righteous crusade.  I simply note their antics - sometimes with distaste - raise an eyebrow and move on.  The various interested parties who've jumped into this thread are - of course - defending their self-interest.  The degree to which they've done so by resorting to lame amateur attempts at pop psychology has generally confirmed my notions about them.

I think your interest has been largely satisfied and the thread's run its course.  I'm not really interested in engaging in a battle royale with a bunch of people too weak to tolerate the idea that people think differently to them.  I suggest you let it go.


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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:46:05 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: diablarosa
How do you have contempt for people you don't know personally just based on what gives them peace or turns them on sexually or psychosexually? Maybe we hate what we fear or dont understand? I think it's odd to make generalizations without knowing the individuals personally. I know some pretty submissive doms out there... consider daddy doms. I also know some pretty domineering submissive men, too.
  Those people are merely confused and not grounded in reality.

Fact is, when people aren't waving the political correctness flag around, the reality is that life is hard.  Categorisation is a skill we all employ which gives us shortcuts to dealing with people and one simple categorisation is whether those people are potentially useful allies.  A guy whose weakness will let him submit to a woman is not a useful ally.  I find amusing the way in which Dommes and others attempt to reframe this as strength.

Unpalatable as it may seem, men - and indeed women - are always going to be judging their fellow human beings by criteria.  To pretend otherwise is a despicable lie.  Some men live and behave in ways they will consider aspirational.  Some men, they'll feel contempt for.  This is an inevitable consequence of actually having aspirations, beliefs and motivations.  There's an aspirational scale for manhood, on what men will consider fine and worthy of emulation.  While it's an individual thing, acting like a submissive male is not going to be near the top of that scale for a lot of men.

The rest of your post is largely irrelevant as you're simply arguing semantics.  Given the context of the discussion, that's somewhat asinine.



You confuse what people do in their private relationships with how people behave in their professional and public lives.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:54:59 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

The fact that I have contempt for such men doesn't imply intolerance or that I'm on a righteous crusade.  I simply note their antics - sometimes with distaste - raise an eyebrow and move on.  The various interested parties who've jumped into this thread are - of course - defending their self-interest.  The degree to which they've done so by resorting to lame amateur attempts at pop psychology has generally confirmed my notions about them.


If you were to show up to the Northern Colorado munch and displayed this sort of douche-bag attitude, you would be sitting by yourself in no time...no need for pop-psy when plain real to life experience (or pretty obvious lack of it) will explain it.


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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:58:33 AM   
Awareness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
How about those Romans? They crushed the Celts and rewrote their history, obliterated the Germanic peoples, then moved south to wipe out the Dacians. They did such a thorough job on the Dacians, anthropologists are just now figuring out who they were, 2000 years later.
  The Romans had an impressive empire, no doubt and were the first to turn soldiering into a profession.  (You couldn't really count the Spartans as they were all in the Spartan army.  If you were a Spartan man, that's what you did.  In fact, it's practically all you did.)

The thing is, the Chinese did this to each other.  Recorded Chinese military history goes back 4000 years.  And it's bloody.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 5:59:32 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

The fact that I have contempt for such men doesn't imply intolerance or that I'm on a righteous crusade.



Then what exactly does it it imply?

That you are are an open-minded person just out to spread your love of humanity to the world?



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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 7:45:56 AM   
ranja


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contempt:
a powerful feeling of dislike toward somebody or something considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of respect

according to my understanding and my dictionairy

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 7:47:08 AM   
mnottertail


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oooooooooowwwwwwww!!!!! thats what that is.  I have that for everybody, I am sardonically contemptuous. I am an equal opportunity reviler. 

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 7:55:24 AM   
rulemylife


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

contempt:
a powerful feeling of dislike toward somebody or something considered to be worthless, inferior, or undeserving of respect

according to my understanding and my dictionairy


Yes, thank you, but I had no confusion about the meaning of the word.

My confusions rests with his statement that he can be both contemptuous and tolerant at the same time.

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RE: Do you have contempt for submissive males? - 4/29/2011 7:55:56 AM   
ranja


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contempt means more than just 'not like'...
so if a person states or admits that they have contempt for somebody it does seem to mean that they might have a bit of a fear or misunderstanding of this person or maybe suffer general arrogance indeed like you state.

i think most dominant men don't care much at all about submissive men or dominant women, as long as they keep their distance

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