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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:06:50 AM

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I'm wondering if she maybe spends too much time with media in all its forms that it has impacted their relationship? I think if we knew the reason why he was doing that then we could give better answers.

Do you spend too much time watching tv or zoning out from your music that you're always saying "just a sec" or "in a minute" to him?
Do you find you don't get things done in a timely manner because of your interest in media?

Is he doing this just to be controlling and no other reason?

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:30:46 AM

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littlewonder, i was also thinking that. It just seems odd as a whole concept - men who are masters to me just aren't that needy and the "its all about him" concept while is a motto of SOME slaves don't seem to be something tht comes from the men who own them. I've never agreed with that aspect because it's not all about him but is about them as a whole. I do have to say that having a public whinge about it, makes me wonder even more. Which is why she needs to talk to him as i believe you said earlier.

angel

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(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:44:06 AM

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OP- I would tend to think that not ever being allowed to at least listen to your music, even if your owner isn't there, is just a bit extreme. So here's another 'have you talked to him about this? If not you should.'

I can sort of understand the desire to completely control another person, but if that other person is diminished by that control, then it's not a good thing. And the tone of your post sort of gives the impression that that's what's happening here.

Frankly, I don't have any particular use for television. I can find just about any show or movie I take it into my head to want to watch on the internet. There aren't many. I've actually watched more television since I moved in with Master than I had in the previous 10 years. He likes movies, so we watch one or two DVDs a week fairly often. Some of the movies I like, some I haven't.

So far as my music goes, Master doesn't like what I like, so when he's home I don't play my stuff. But when he's not home, I can listen to it.

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:48:28 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

What is his reason for imposing those limitations?

Yes, the OP has given us no indication as to the why of that.

Is there a specific reasoning behind it or does he simply disapprove of your tastes...?
And if that is the answer, do you understand the reason for that?

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:00:37 AM

Kana

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Kana's thoughts...and they ain't gonna be popular

1-It's TV-what's the big deal. You can live w/o it. You know, do things, interact, learn a hobby, experience life. Spend the hours once wasted in something beneficial...for him or you. I've lived w/o TV's for years at various times in my life-no big deal...and that was before the internet was everywhere.
2-C'mon. If a show is that important, you should be able to download it somewhere and you obviously have computer privileges.
3-So the fuck what if it's not fair. He owns you. There ain't nothing fair about that. If you don't like his orders, talk to him. If you don't like answers you get, and it's really that important to you, walk. I give orders about stuff like this from time to time, but I always have a reason (Even if it is just to watch her suffer for my amusement damnit, I have a reason), often one with her emotional/spiritual/mental betterment in mind.
4-Part of being owned is obedience. Just like being a private in the army, understanding isn't required or necessary but quick compliance is. Hers is not to question why, it, like the clay in the potters hand, is to yield and do, becoming in the process.
5-Revenge? Really? In my interactions that would not only be a stupid thought, but ultimately would most likely be one of the "cut your nose off to spite your face" moves.

< Message edited by Kana -- 5/22/2011 9:03:51 AM >

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(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:08:16 AM

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I needed musical tastes to be compatible. In my marriage, the ex didn't like my music. It was always his station on the radio, his music on the stereo. And if he came home I had to turn mine off right away or he got pissy.

So I was careful to ask The Man about his music preferences before I committed. As far as tv goes, there are shows he watches that I won't because I can't sleep after watching gory stuff. And there are shows I like that he doesn't, so I record them and watch them when he's busy elsewhere. I've actually learned to like NCIS and he's gotten interested in What Not to Wear and How Do I Look.

But you need to talk to him. To tell him how unhappy you are. And to see if there's any point to this or is it just that he enjoys denying you anything pleasurable. If so, up to you if a life devoid of all small pleasures is worthwhile. It wouldn't be to me, it may be to you.

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(in reply to Kana)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:21:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

I guess I didn't really expect that being a slave meant giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life.

Then I'd suggest you think about whether being a slave is what you truly want to be, or whether you want to be a slave to this particular person. Being a dominant doesn't prevent someone from being a dick not worthy of your obedience.

Contrary to what some might say, it's not all about him. You're supposed to get something out of this relationship too. If the satisfaction you get from submitting is outweighed by your frustration at the rules, it's time to consider making a change. There are many measures of submisison short of total control that might suit you better. There are other dominants that might suit you better.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:35:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Television programming is, seriously, complete crap. You're really not going to be missing anything and can be a lot more productive and well rounded by just giving it up.

I have to disagree. There is a lot of crap on TV, but there is also a lot of good stuff. Like factual programmes - documentaries, interviews, history, politics, archaeology, BBC news. And there are some amazing films shown on TV. I'll never forget watching 12 Angry Men for the first time, or The Crucible. Likewise, we all need TV to communicate with the world - could we really understand the impact of 9/11 without seeing those films of the planes flying into the towers? I will never, ever forget watching that live on my TV. Or when they pulled the Chilean miners out of the ground a few months ago - that was a breathtaking TV moment, I'll always be glad I didn't miss that.

This thread seems to have been hijacked by the 'TV is crap' brigade. Doesn't anyone feel that watching TV makes them a more rounded, better informed and more open minded person, and that their life would have been poorer for never having seen some of their favourite films or real life events, and that as a human being on this planet, they have some sort of right to be aware of and a witness to world events?owned xxx

Yes, here is someone disagreeing with everyone. I don't give a damn if anyone thinks what I watch is crap; I watch many different things, quality AND crap. Guess why? Because I can.

I am also of the opinion that you allow people to do what they like to do. If you want to watch TV, crap or high brow, do it. Why on earth would it matter to someone what TV shows you watch? I suppose I don't understand the level of control that some need to have to feel important.

I would never let anyone on this planet tell me what I can watch or not watch on TV, what books to read, what films to see, what clothes to wear, who to talk to, what job I could have, what I should eat, etc.

But then again, I am not a slave and being submissive to me, does not mean giving up my personal desires, it means finding someone who supports them and wishes me to share theirs.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/22/2011 9:38:32 AM >

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:40:05 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I've actually learned to like NCIS

You masochist, you.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:44:04 AM

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he always has the remote. we usually end up watching baseball <cringe>

I usually suck it up and do something else, read a book, give him a back massage and just wander into my head, play on the net, etc...

not that big a deal for me.

(in reply to Kana)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:48:02 AM

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i haven't watched tv in months. there's nothing worthwhile to watch. i don't see the big deal.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 9:50:30 AM

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Well, I guess since the OP started the thread, it is a big deal to HER, or she would not have started the thread.

(in reply to falccon)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:07:44 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Television programming is, seriously, complete crap. You're really not going to be missing anything and can be a lot more productive and well rounded by just giving it up.

I have to disagree. There is a lot of crap on TV, but there is also a lot of good stuff. Like factual programmes - documentaries, interviews, history, politics, archaeology, BBC news. And there are some amazing films shown on TV. I'll never forget watching 12 Angry Men for the first time, or The Crucible. Likewise, we all need TV to communicate with the world - could we really understand the impact of 9/11 without seeing those films of the planes flying into the towers? I will never, ever forget watching that live on my TV. Or when they pulled the Chilean miners out of the ground a few months ago - that was a breathtaking TV moment, I'll always be glad I didn't miss that.

This thread seems to have been hijacked by the 'TV is crap' brigade. Doesn't anyone feel that watching TV makes them a more rounded, better informed and more open minded person, and that their life would have been poorer for never having seen some of their favourite films or real life events, and that as a human being on this planet, they have some sort of right to be aware of and a witness to world events?

owned xxx

Ok. Well, you asked for experiences, thoughts etc and said you would be grateful for them. If you are actually seeking validation, I can do that, too. Your Master is being unreasonable in not allowing you to do what you desire and to expect you to comply. No one should have to give up their favorite television shows (even though everything you listed can be found on the net or at you local library in the form of free DVD's and such. )

You picked him though so I say again.. if CSI is more important to you than him, dump his ass and find a dominant who will control you in the way you dictate. It's all the same to me.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:22:03 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future?

owned xxx

Yes, by all means, that is the best way. Pull the bandaid off completely and as fast as you can, don't inch it off in excruciating little bits.

You asked for advice from D/s couples. Remember not all D/s couples are in M/s relationships. If you're in the second (the "owned" in your name suggests that to me) then whatever your master or mistress says goes, no matter how outragous or denying, and the quicker you adapt to that, probably the better you will feel. Yes, it's quite hard to let go of the things you are most used to considering "givens" in your life, things that have been a part of you for a long time, even if just as entertainments, but if you can locate and keep foremost in your mind and heart that strange little joy in giving them up for someone else (not because it is logical or rational but simply because he wants it), it becomes a lot easier. It's possible some of these privileges may be given back to you once you've adapted to not having them anymore. Usually, the primary point of denying such things in the first place is to get a slave used to not putting anything else before or above her master, to get used to not having competing desires that might, at some point, interfere with your service to him. But once you've adapted to not having the things you like or love, if they come back, they won't feel the same as they once did. That's been my experience, anyway. The pleasure they once brought you will be a lot flatter for various reasons and you may not even want to re-engage.

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(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:27:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: falccon

i haven't watched tv in months. there's nothing worthwhile to watch. i don't see the big deal.

Methinks you miss the forest for the satallite dishes.

I'm sure you have things you do or experience that bring you equal plesaure. The question being asked here is not how to disengage from TV shows, it's how to disengage from anything that brings you lots of pleasure and satisfaction with the least amount of pain, if your master or mistress orders this. So your pleasures (and possibly, addictions) happen to be different from the OP's. (shrug) That doesn't mean you'd wouldn't find disengaging totally from the things that interest you the most equally painful.

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"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

(in reply to falccon)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:27:17 AM

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You do get computer time, are you permitted to use that time to catch up on your shows? All of the broadcasting networks air recent shows on their sites. As for music can it be on an mp3?

N picks what we watch/listen to but when away from him he doesn't really care as long as the stuff that needs to get done gets done. Your relationship may be the same or different.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:52:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm wondering if she maybe spends too much time with media in all its forms that it has impacted their relationship? I think if we knew the reason why he was doing that then we could give better answers.

Does the reason really matter? I don't think it should, because sometimes (mileage varies) slaves aren't told the reasons for things.

I'm assuming it's the "thou shalt not have other gods before me" reason, but I could be completely wrong. As you said, this isn't made explicit. But why should the actual reason matter? In the end, the simple fact that her master wants it is enough of a reason, isn't it?

----------------

The following has nothing to do with your post, littlewonder, but I didn't want to post yet another message to this thread, as I've already written two. I am not addressing you in any of the things said below--your advice was to the point and spoke of practical things that people new to slavery are prone to do, like trying to steal small bits of time: "Just a minute, Sir, the song /show is almost finished."

I'm seeing a lot of people using this thread to go off on a tangent and criticize the Op's choice of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with liking what you like to do even if the grand majority have decided it's no longer fashionable or cool to do it at this particular place and time. So you (generic you) don't like TV. Some of you are crowing about having not watched TV in a handful of years. Those of us who quit early in our teen years and have been TV-less for decades think, "So, why are you so very late at joining the party...and do you really want to boast about your tardiness?" It's relative, in other words. Your one-upmanship can always be one-upped by someone more hardcore than you.

The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this. Simply because your passion isn't for TV shows or music doesn't mean that you don't have some other equally strong passion for something else that you would find terribly hard to give up, if you were lucky or deserving enough to find a master or mistress who would demand you give it up for them. OwnedFemaleFlesh is in a very enviable position for a slave or deeply submissive person. She's being pushed to change and grow in some very hard ways, and she's coping quite well with it. I think that deserves a little more respect and a little less use of a trivial fact (TV shows) that is immaterial to the question as a grandstand from which you can show off your "superior" non-TV-watching selves.

< Message edited by aromanholiday -- 5/22/2011 10:54:14 AM >

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"Isn't it odd how we misunderstand the hidden unity of kindness and cruelty?"

My profile is not turned off. It is broken and I am too lazy to make a new one.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:05:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

fr

Well, which is most important to you.. him or watching the latest episode of House? Television programming is, seriously, complete crap. You're really not going to be missing anything and can be a lot more productive and well rounded by just giving it up. In any event, yeah.. it's the slave life. Sometimes it sucks but if it's *mostly* wonderful, do keep that in mind. Good luck. The withdrawals won't last that long.

Oh, talk to him, too. Ask him if there are ways to earn tv time as a reward or something. Won't hurt to ask!

What the lovely Bita said.

Seriously, having to give up television is not that big a deal. Huge parts of my life have been television free. While I enjoy it, I don't need it and could easily go without. If Generic Dude is away for business or pleasure, it is not uncommon for me to never even think of turning it on, for days at a time.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:05:59 AM

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OK, per your profile you are learning what it means to be property. I would encourage you to consider the word total and take off your BDSM glasses when you do it. Then I'd encourage you to think long and hard about whether TPE is for you. Do you have any idea how many things are included in the word "total" that go SO WAY THE HELL PAST "tv privileges"?? Don't get me wrong. I understand how little things can be important. But honestly if TV is going to be a major issue then I can't even begin to imagine what you're going to do when he says something like, "Sell your car and give me the cash" or "I want you to quit your job" or "I've decided we're going poly" or.....

Total is a big word. If you decide to stick with it, then consider the word "surrender". That was a big moment for Carol and I.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:51:09 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this.

I thought it was, but I don't think so now. When the OP replied to my post in which I addressed that very issue, she cut all of that part out of the quote and responded only to the television part. That's why I believe this thread was not about giving up anything but about seeking validation for her tv viewing habits which is fine, but asking for opinions and experiences, saying you will be grateful for them.. that's a bit disingenious. That said, there are others who will be reading and not posting, so hopefully, they skipped the side dish in my own post and went for the meat.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to aromanholiday)

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