RE: Life Without TV?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Life Without TV?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Life Without TV?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:34:24 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Do you have any idea how many things are included in the word "total" that go SO WAY THE HELL PAST "tv privileges"?? Don't get me wrong. I understand how little things can be important. But honestly if TV is going to be a major issue then I can't even begin to imagine what you're going to do when he says something like, "Sell your car and give me the cash" or "I want you to quit your job" or "I've decided we're going poly" or.....

The funny thing is, I did give him my car (or offered to, before I sold it), I did quit my job for him, and moved 200 miles to be with him, and I did offer to have an open relationship, if that's what he wanted (luckily he didn't) I also quit smoking for him, quit eating red meat for him, and quit having orgasms for him, because it pleased him, and it pleased me to do that for him. Jobs, cars and other girls will come and go. But giving up a whole form of culture that I enjoy is very different. I think people are hung up on the fact that it's 'just TV'. If he was asking me to give up reading, would the answers be very different? I think so.

owned xxx

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:34:57 PM

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life.

Some feel that the things we enjoy are an outer expression of who we are inside. Consider whether this is true for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
What is his reason for imposing those limitations?

ORIGINAL: AngelikaJ
Is there a specific reasoning behind it or does he simply disapprove of your tastes...?
And if that is the answer, do you understand the reason for that?

Please answer the above questions. If you cannot, please have Him explain it to you. i think you need it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyRed1
I am not a slave and being submissive to me, does not mean giving up my personal desires, it means finding someone who supports them and wishes me to share theirs.

The above is very true for me as well. How does he aid you to express yourself beyond your slavery to Him? We are complex creatures. You are a slave at your core, but there is more to you then just core. The other bits need expression too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday
I'm sure you have things you do or experience that bring you equal pleasure. <snip>
The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life.

He's aware that this is how you are seeing this particular part of your training, i hope. You've articulated this, i hope. It would be a shame if He didn't realize where your head is at on the matter.

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:51:29 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

Posts: 182
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline

Just to answer some general points that people have raised:

I find it funny that no-one is massively bothered about being denied TV, but some are horrified at my being denied music. Why is this? Is DJ Jazzy Jeff a more worthwhile cultural influence than Louis Theroux? Does the Thong Song enrich my life more than Schindler's List? I think the way some people think about music, as a core part of their culture, personality and identity, is the way I look at TV. As regards having an ipod - I'm not really gadget minded. A lot of my music is on vinyl which makes it kind of difficult to listen to on the train! We also live in a small flat, where the TV, computer and stereo are all in the same room, which makes it difficult for us to do two things at once.

I think the main issue is that I'm out of the house working a lot, for 12+ hours a day, and at the moment 6-7 days a week. I would be allowed to do what I want when I'm here on my own, it just never happens! And when I am here, and not doing chores, we only have an hour or two together, I don't want to be going off into another room to listen to music, or watching a film on my computer.

I don't actually watch that much TV. I didn't own one till I was 27, and then I didn't have satellite till I was 33. I think in a way, this is why I feel so entitled to watch the few things that I do watch, because I don't watch much, and because he has more time to watch TV than I do anyway. I have to be honest, I never realised before just how self-righteous it comes across when people say they don't watch TV, or they'd rather read (I've said both of these many times). But like I put above, why is it different to be denied music, or being denied books? I don't read fiction, but bookshops are full of rubbishy tales of true love, chick lit, sci-fi, etc. Neither books nor music have any greater claim to cultural status, but would any of the posters here consider giving up reading for their Owners?

There is no reason for his removing my privileges. Like I said, I don't watch a lot and my chores come first. He just denies it because he wants to. He doesn't like my shows, he is the Dom, why shouldn't he control it? For me, why is not the issue, as I gave up that power when I became a slave. But the thought of a lifetime of never choosing to watch something on TV again is kind of daunting.

Hope this has answered the questions that were floating about. I've been very encouraged by so many of the answers, so many thanks.

owned xxx

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:03:54 PM

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

OK, per your profile you are learning what it means to be property. I would encourage you to consider the word total and take off your BDSM glasses when you do it. Then I'd encourage you to think long and hard about whether TPE is for you. Do you have any idea how many things are included in the word "total" that go SO WAY THE HELL PAST "tv privileges"?? Don't get me wrong. I understand how little things can be important. But honestly if TV is going to be a major issue then I can't even begin to imagine what you're going to do when he says something like, "Sell your car and give me the cash" or "I want you to quit your job" or "I've decided we're going poly" or.....

Total is a big word. If you decide to stick with it, then consider the word "surrender". That was a big moment for Carol and I.

Pretty much this. The above is one reason that I am a sub with no desire to be a slave.

The TV thing isn't a problem for me as I haven't had cable for almost a decade now, nor is the music. OTOH, mess with my computers? Yeah, there will be issues. Take my books (other than as a temporary punishment)? Oh, hell fuck no. Knowing these things about myself, I would not choose a partner who was incompatible in these areas or others that are important to who I am as a person.

In the end, it's about you and what you are or aren't willing to do.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:05:23 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I don't actually watch that much TV. I didn't own one till I was 27, and then I didn't have satellite till I was 33. I think in a way, this is why I feel so entitled to watch the few things that I do watch,

Well he obviously disagrees with you, so we can tell you all day and all night what we think, but you are the one living under his rule... either you accept that he rules you the way he likes, or you do something different.

If you choose something different then you have to be prepared for him to do something different too, and that something different might not include you. Then again, if you can talk about your issues, he makes you feel listened to, and you can live without what you feel "entitled" to, well... then there you are.

I do not do the slave thing because it would piss me off.... yes, I do feel entitled to enjoy the fruits of my labor, but I am not a slave, either. I barely know if I am a submissive these days.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:41:14 PM

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
He just denies it because he wants to. He doesn't like my shows, he is the Dom, why shouldn't he control it?

This is all well and good, except i think, it's having a greater impact on you then this slightly flippant reason, it appears. Then again, perhaps i'm putting more weight on "giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life." than is meant.

If He wants your tastes to be subsumed by His tastes, perhaps something more is needed than just the two actions of removing access to things you enjoy and consistent exposure to things He does enjoy.

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 11:47:31 PM

Posts: 2298
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline

OwnedFemaleFlesh,

Keep in mind that every Owner/Master/Dom is different from one another. No two relationships are identical nor alike. He has you doing exactly what it is that he wants, desires and likes. This is indeed extreme control, no mistake about it.

I am not a mind reader. What is going on may or may not be an intense training and mental conditioning period. Things may or may not change in the future, you may at some point in time be granted TV and music listening privileges. Then again, you may not. Again, I am not a mind reader.

There is a lot of crap on TV! I myself watch very little TV, it's an Epic waste of time for the most part. Plus there is a degree of mental conditioning that goes hand and hand with watching TV. The news on TV is also extremely Biased, lacking in objective truth, details and depth.

I myself have certain rules. No TV's in the bedroom. No TV running as background noise (It goes off if it's not being watched). Just these two rules alone make me seem extreme to other people.

TPE...Total Power Exchange means just that. He has you doing exactly what it is he wants. It's not about what you want, or what other people think about it.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 12:26:18 AM

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline

OwnedFemaleFlesh: I sent you a message on 'the other side'.

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 12:29:07 AM

Posts: 126
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

Just to answer some general points that people have raised:

As regards having an ipod - I'm not really gadget minded. A lot of my music is on vinyl which makes it kind of difficult to listen to on the train! We also live in a small flat, where the TV, computer and stereo are all in the same room, which makes it difficult for us to do two things at once.

I think the main issue is that I'm out of the house working a lot, for 12+ hours a day, and at the moment 6-7 days a week. I would be allowed to do what I want when I'm here on my own, it just never happens! And when I am here, and not doing chores, we only have an hour or two together, I don't want to be going off into another room to listen to music, or watching a film on my computer.

There is no reason for his removing my privileges. Like I said, I don't watch a lot and my chores come first. He just denies it because he wants to. He doesn't like my shows, he is the Dom, why shouldn't he control it? For me, why is not the issue, as I gave up that power when I became a slave. But the thought of a lifetime of never choosing to watch something on TV again is kind of daunting.

Hope this has answered the questions that were floating about. I've been very encouraged by so many of the answers, so many thanks.

owned xxx

It seems to me that you've really defined it in this portion of your posts. It isn't that you flat out can't watch them, it's that you don't have the space and/or time to do it presently. It sounds like you work all day, come home, do the chores, and then have a couple of hours to relax... since that's all the time there is, HE chooses how that relaxation will be spent, he isn't going to use those couple of hours watching something that doesn't entertain him... he's the owner, and that's his perogative. So it isn't really that you aren't allowed, it's more that, at this particular point in your life, the available time you have doesn't allow for shows you want to watch. It isn't for the rest of your life, it's for this partiular time in your life.
One other thing.. you mentioned giving up your job to move, selling your car, accepting being open if he wished and so on... I've found on occasion that I will have a melt down over something that really isn't a huge deal simply because it was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. In other words, it was just too much stripping away too fast and all of the sudden something that I would normally not consider an issue, is the one that's totally tripping me up. I talk to my Owner, he slows down my mental clutter, helps me take a breath and gets me realigned. Lol, he doesn't ever change what he cast to stone, but somehow, He just makes it all okay for me and that small item that had felt tremendous, no longer matters. Maybe this is one of those moments for you?
~s

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 2:45:31 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

I'm going to respond to the music versus television portion.

The following is true for me:
Music is about garnering a response. I use music for a million things (ok, only 987,205, but close). Most importantly for me, it helps put me in a mood to write - it helps me express myself, it pulls FROM me. Television on the other hand numbs me. It can occasionally create an environment in which I respond to it, but it is (for me) a much smaller window. It sets me up to respond to a specific situation rather than creating a situation in which I will create the response.

If I'm writing about a character in Rome, I will play Italian music. I don't put on a movie about it. The movie distracts me from me. Music helps me get closer to me, helps me push away the things that are not me, helps me find the place where my "Romanism" lives. That is not my experience with television.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ownedbyPF)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 4:11:59 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

OP, it sounds like tv is your way to relax. You're working 12 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week, and in your very little free time you are to do all the chores and have no way to relax. You need to explain this to him. Because not being allowed down time is going to cause you to burn out.

He has a lot more free time than you do, so why isn't he doing the chores to enable you to spend your free time with him? Why doesn't he care about you being able to relax and enjoy yourself occasionally?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:30:19 AM

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

If you commute by train then my suggestion would be to learn to use a tablet.

You could watch your shows on it as well as listen to the music you love.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:35:19 AM

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: WesternHypnotist
Besides, TV is overrated.

Yeah, but it's better than Gor :-P

owned xxx

Well, I would say she has a point there

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:39:55 AM

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
Sounds like you're not a very good match with your owner, in or out of bed. Most of us, if we were going to settle- would insist on good compatibility in at least one out of the two areas.

*Totally bemused* How on earth have you come to the conclusion that we're not compatible in bed?!

owned xxx

but he watched all different shows than I did. He hated the ones I loved, and I hated the ones he loved. There was no commonality there. Its not a problem, if you don't watch TV.

though sometimes it can be hot...one guy I met on here, he loves horror movies big time...now...I had moments where I preferred to take my cat with me to the bathroom when watching most haunted....

so just saying that sometimes it can have its benefits when tastes are the opposit, cause if he and I would have dated he would have been the one to keep me sane during some shows

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:46:29 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none. It's getting harder and harder for me to keep up with any of the shows I like to watch, to the point where it seems I might as well just give up, and then I won't be frustrated when I miss them. I can sit next to him while he is watching TV or listening to music, but his tastes are very different to mine and there is a limit to how many programmes I can watch about construction, machinery or the military.

I'm having a bit of a whinge here, because I guess I didn't really expect that being a slave meant giving up all of the cultural media I like, for the rest of my life. He gets to decide what we watch at the cinema, what DVDs we buy and what we watch on TV, so the control is total. I haven't been able to listen to my music in 5 months and I find myself worrying that I will miss something I consider important, or never be able to watch my favourite films again. I'm really having an 'it's not fair' moment. I know - it's not supposed to be fair. It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality. Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future? How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue, is this normal and I'm the only one getting bothered by it?

I'd be really grateful for any thoughts, experiences or suggestions.

owned xxx

Sounds like TV is a priority from some of what I've read. I mean you gave up a number of things and TV is what you want to say uncle on.

I personally don't find TV and music and issue..That much, anyway. Yet if or when I decided that it was an issue, I'd expect obedience. If I didn't get it then it would become an issue. It is my way after all.

I gotta ask...Is this REALLY about TV and music or are there other reasons..maybe deeper issues? In my opinion, these issues are a might small.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 5/23/2011 8:51:22 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:49:37 AM

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
No TV running as background noise (It goes off if it's not being watched).

*shudder*

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 8:52:54 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

I'm going to respond to the music versus television portion.

The following is true for me:
Music is about garnering a response. I use music for a million things (ok, only 987,205, but close). Most importantly for me, it helps put me in a mood to write - it helps me express myself, it pulls FROM me. Television on the other hand numbs me. It can occasionally create an environment in which I respond to it, but it is (for me) a much smaller window. It sets me up to respond to a specific situation rather than creating a situation in which I will create the response.

If I'm writing about a character in Rome, I will play Italian music. I don't put on a movie about it. The movie distracts me from me. Music helps me get closer to me, helps me push away the things that are not me, helps me find the place where my "Romanism" lives. That is not my experience with television.

best,
sunshine

I like music well enough. I enjoy it when it is on. There are times when I will google a song I like to hear it, but I do not own an IPOD or a stereo, or surround sound, etc. I do not have many CDs, or MP3s. I do not like to spend my money on such things at this point, and it is not that important to me.

Television can give me a myriad of ideas for writing. It can be a muse of sorts for me in character development, etc. I am a fan of continuing storylines where character development is important. On the one hand, when I have been involved with school, work, etc, I might go long periods of time without engaging with television... but if I had to choose between music and visual media... visual media would win every time.

If I had to choose between books and television, books would win.

I really get that some people are really attached to their music.... my brother has devoted his life to music and he is 50 years old. It is the constant in his life. He plays piano beautifully, along with the violin. He writes music. I have talked to him about this passion, and while I do not share it, I "get it"... it is how I feel about mentally creating stories, people, lands, and cultures...different passions is all.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 9:28:19 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hey Julia -
I get what you are saying intellectually but not on a visceral level. I wanted to be clear that I was speaking only about what was true for me. For me, the visual gets in my way. I'm much more an auditory person.

An interesting point though earlier about relaxation - what does one need to relax? It is different for different people. For me, I do enjoy some television (via the internet). But it is a way to relax rather than inspire me.

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to juliaoceania)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 9:28:25 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I think people are hung up on the fact that it's 'just TV'. If he was asking me to give up reading, would the answers be very different? I think so.
Perhaps, but not my answer. As I said, I get it how something which ought to be "small" isn't. Us humans value what we value. My only point was that everything is included in the word total. You, apparently already knew that.

Honestly, given how far you've come already with him, I'm kind of curious then why you're not getting in the boat and helping row here. He wants you to watch a lot less TV and/or not watch the kind of TV you're used to. Why are you clinging to your old desires rather than embracing his? (and that's a serious question, not a snarky rhetorical one).

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OwnedFemaleFlesh)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/23/2011 9:56:22 AM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Late to the party here but finding it fascinating.

My take on it is her media (be it TV, music, or anything else) is a form of self expression. TV is no big deal to me, but that doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to someone else. Music, on the other hand, is a huge deal to me - it grabs me from the inside, causing me to think and feel and be in the moment. It's an experience, and a very important one for me. I listen to music all the time - and all kinds of music. I go to music shows all the time. It's part of who I am.

Books might be part of who someone else is. Or Magazines. Or TV. Or any other possible hobby on the planet out there. One of the main compatibilities the Mister and I have is music, and it's an experience we share together. If I were told to give music up, I seriously think something in me would die a little bit.

He controls the TV in the house, and I often don't much care for what he watches. Last week I sat through 3 hours of Survivor with him and his daughter. He wanted me nearby, so I brought a big box of paperwork that needed going through, and I went through it as they watched. He got his show, I was nearby, and I got stuff done. When there are shows I really like, I turn him on to them. He is a total Mad Men fan now, for example.

Anyway, it may just be that you've given so much over, this is where the dam breaks. No idea, but perhaps a possibility? Does he know the level of difficulty this is causing? Have you discussed it, and is he helping you process it? To me, those are the important questions.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to leadership527)

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Life Without TV?

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.125