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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 12:04:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Have you considered doing something really really old fashioned and start reading books?

Thanks, but I am already a prolific reader. We currently have 4 bookcases double stacked with books and it grows every month. That's not to say that I don't enjoy other forms of media too. It's not either / or.

owned xxx

I had to laugh when I read that, because all my flats or houses were always book lined (great insulation too), whenever I moved I got rid of most of them and within months the walls were book lined again. I never understood the need to watch a movie when I could have the book, my own time, speed and my own imagination of what is beautiful. I might watch TV on rare occasions but I usually get bored and retire to bed with a book...

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 12:31:02 PM

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I'm not saying the reason matters..it doesn't really.

But if this is a new relationship for the OP then it might help the OP to understand her place better and her owner until they are more comfortable with one another and she can accept her life as property.

In the beginning I think it's sort of important for reasons to be known until the slave is understanding of its Master and the slave settles into its new life.

Now that I've been with Master for quite a few years now I can accept whatever it is without reason because I'm comfortable with him and as his slave. I know him enough to know that I can trust him.

In the beginning however it did bother me a little and I did ask a few times for reasons. Thankfully he didn't mind answering me even if the answer was "because I find it entertaining". It helped me to deal with it in my own head and ask myself if I could like like this and what was more important to me. Obviously He is.

(in reply to aromanholiday)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 12:39:02 PM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue, is this normal and I'm the only one getting bothered by it?

We mainly watch movies but also some tv... we decide together what we watch... but He makes the final choice, our tastes are not quite the same and there are certain things i would not dare to watch when He is around (like the Kardassians or anything else remotely Big Brother like)

Sometimes we watch something that is more to my taste than His like 'the black swan' sometimes i then get worried that He might be bored... but sometimes He is very pleasantly surprised by something He would never even have considered Himself.

I am fine with Him telling me i can not watch something but if He would try to dictate what i should like then we would have troubles

about music: i need to hear it often... radio is my main entertainment, i like upbeat pop best... if He would forbid me to listen to it forever i would disobey Him.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 1:53:30 PM

avena

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My two cents...

I have two big screen televisions in my house. One is connected to the dvd player, the other is connected to the gaming system. Neither is connected to cable television, or used in any way to watch tv. The reasons are irrelevant, but I am familiar with the withdrawl that one goes through when denied the pleasures of watching tv. Like most withdrawl symptoms, it fades over time.

I keep up with current events by reading the newspaper (online usually) and/or by watching the news online. I can't say it bothers me anymore to miss an episode of anything, but we do have a habit of buying seasons of our favourite shows on dvd. The nice thing about the dvd is that it can be watched any time (a very big plus with our very busy schedule at home), and it can be paused.

Others have made some good suggestions for ways to still get your media fix as well.

But...I am having a bit of difficulty getting my head around the concept that your owner is completely banning your music as well as your television watching.

Things are a bit different when I'm at D's house. For us, D chooses what to watch when we're together. He's aware of my taste and preferences, and thankfully they're close enough to his that we usually find a compromise. And if there's something on that I don't really want to watch, he has ways to keep me busy and yet still by his side....

As for music, I personally think some of the stuff D listens to is complete crap...don't tell him I said that. And I'm sure he thinks the same about some of the stuff that I listen to. But we both have rather eclectic tastes, so there's enough overlap that we can usually find something we'll both enjoy listening to. But again, D has the ultimate say. If he wants to listen to the stuff that I think is crap, then that's what we listen to.

Perhaps it's just that D and I have similiar enough taste in most things that compromise is easier. Perhaps D is just more willing to compromise, since to him television and music are not important areas for control. He has other focuses that he works with me on. One thing I do know is that, if I have an issue with a restriction he placed on me, I am encouraged to ask and to discuss it with him.

And sometimes, as littlewonder said, the answer is

quote:

"because I find it entertaining".

At least I always know that he has a reason for everything he does and asks of me.

Ultimately though, I think leadership hit it on the head...

quote:

Total is a big word. If you decide to stick with it, then consider the word "surrender". That was a big moment for Carol and I.

For me, the word was "acceptance", but it more or less has the same effect in my relationship. D's decision is the final decision. I can ask for clarification. I can ask for leeway. I can ask almost anything...But the ultimate choice is his. Even if his choice is to tell me to shut up and stop asking questions. It took a while for me to get to the point where I could just accept that. But I will ALWAYS remember the moment that it clicked for me, and the sense of almost zen peace that came with that acceptance.

I'll repeat what others have said. Discuss it with your owner. Then decide if this is something that you can work towards surrender or acceptance on, and go from there.

Good luck.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:02:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

quote:

ORIGINAL: falccon

i haven't watched tv in months. there's nothing worthwhile to watch. i don't see the big deal.

Methinks you miss the forest for the satallite dishes.

I'm sure you have things you do or experience that bring you equal plesaure. The question being asked here is not how to disengage from TV shows, it's how to disengage from anything that brings you lots of pleasure and satisfaction with the least amount of pain, if your master or mistress orders this. So your pleasures (and possibly, addictions) happen to be different from the OP's. (shrug) That doesn't mean you'd wouldn't find disengaging totally from the things that interest you the most equally painful.

i know what was being asked. some take things way too literally.

< Message edited by falccon -- 5/22/2011 2:46:08 PM >

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:23:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I've actually learned to like NCIS

You masochist, you.

I still leave the room when Criminal Minds comes on. Does that help?

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:31:45 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
5-Revenge? Really? In my interactions that would not only be a stupid thought, but ultimately would most likely be one of the "cut your nose off to spite your face" moves.

Woah, what? I didn't mention revenge!

owned xxx

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:38:31 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm wondering if she maybe spends too much time with media in all its forms that it has impacted their relationship? I think if we knew the reason why he was doing that then we could give better answers.

Does the reason really matter? I don't think it should, because sometimes (mileage varies) slaves aren't told the reasons for things.

I'm assuming it's the "thou shalt not have other gods before me" reason, but I could be completely wrong. As you said, this isn't made explicit. But why should the actual reason matter? In the end, the simple fact that her master wants it is enough of a reason, isn't it?

----------------

The following has nothing to do with your post, littlewonder, but I didn't want to post yet another message to this thread, as I've already written two. I am not addressing you in any of the things said below--your advice was to the point and spoke of practical things that people new to slavery are prone to do, like trying to steal small bits of time: "Just a minute, Sir, the song /show is almost finished."

I'm seeing a lot of people using this thread to go off on a tangent and criticize the Op's choice of entertainment. There is nothing wrong with liking what you like to do even if the grand majority have decided it's no longer fashionable or cool to do it at this particular place and time. So you (generic you) don't like TV. Some of you are crowing about having not watched TV in a handful of years. Those of us who quit early in our teen years and have been TV-less for decades think, "So, why are you so very late at joining the party...and do you really want to boast about your tardiness?" It's relative, in other words. Your one-upmanship can always be one-upped by someone more hardcore than you.

The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this. Simply because your passion isn't for TV shows or music doesn't mean that you don't have some other equally strong passion for something else that you would find terribly hard to give up, if you were lucky or deserving enough to find a master or mistress who would demand you give it up for them. OwnedFemaleFlesh is in a very enviable position for a slave or deeply submissive person. She's being pushed to change and grow in some very hard ways, and she's coping quite well with it. I think that deserves a little more respect and a little less use of a trivial fact (TV shows) that is immaterial to the question as a grandstand from which you can show off your "superior" non-TV-watching selves.

*gets a lovely warm glowing feeling from being so well understood* Thank you for this, aromanholiday. It's not that I wanted everyone to agree with me - I actually don't, I want to be challenged by other people's advice, and pushed to be better - but the feeling of someone really hitting the nail on the head as to where I'm coming from is really nice, you totally got it. *grins happily*

owned xxx

(in reply to aromanholiday)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 2:43:51 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

The real point of this thread is that giving up one's passions, whatever they may happen to be, is very hard to do, but slaves are often required to do this.

I thought it was, but I don't think so now. When the OP replied to my post in which I addressed that very issue, she cut all of that part out of the quote and responded only to the television part. That's why I believe this thread was not about giving up anything but about seeking validation for her tv viewing habits which is fine, but asking for opinions and experiences, saying you will be grateful for them.. that's a bit disingenious. That said, there are others who will be reading and not posting, so hopefully, they skipped the side dish in my own post and went for the meat.

BitaTruble, I'm sorry if you felt annoyed by my cutting your post down to one part which I responded to. You did give me some good advice, and I did appreciate it. I just snip snipped because I was heading out to work and was in a rush. I didn't mean to make you feel slighted, or that your time was unappreciated, it wasn't. I'm genuinely glad for any advice, even of the 'suck it up' variety, I just felt that the thread was heading a certain way, and I was trying to address that so I didn't come back to hundreds of posts all saying that TV was crap and I'd be better off without it. It was only co-incidence that I used your post to make that point, and once again, I'm sorry for not taking the time to acknowledge the other parts of your post :-)

owned xxx

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:03:50 PM

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This is why I could never consider myself a slave. I would not take kindly to someone forbidding me anything like watching TV. It has nothing to do with how much I like TV, I will go months without turning one on, but it would bother me if I was completely banned from it, especially if they watched crap I couldn't stand constantly...

I suppose in my eyes it is a compatibility issue... which more and more I am thinking I just like that warm and fuzzy bedroom submission, and with a partner I respected something a bit more, but respect is earned over a long period of time, and it is doubtful that someone would have enough respect for me to overlook their crappy television habit, and then turn around and be on my case about mine....

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:07:15 PM

Arpig

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quote:

How do other D/s couples handle the TV issue,

There's a TV in every bedroom, and one in the living room. There isn't an issue. If you don't want to watch what I'm watching...go to another room and watch what you want to.

To forbid you to watch what you like and to forgo your personal taste in music seems.....well the only word I can come up with is abusive.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:14:08 PM

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FR~

I was with someone once who didn't like that I laugh so much... and then was surprised when I became unhappy. Sometimes decisions made to "better" someone are just stoopid.

ymmv,
sunshine

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:22:39 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Not for me it wouldn't. But then I never claimed I'd make a good slave, or submissive lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

but why should the actual reason matter? In the end, the simple fact that her master wants it is enough of a reason, isn't it?

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:49:18 PM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

FR~

I was with someone once who didn't like that I laugh so much... and then was surprised when I became unhappy. Sometimes decisions made to "better" someone are just stoopid.

ymmv,
sunshine

I was with someone who demanded I quit drinking coffee, and when I failed he ignored me for a week. I could have cut back some, I was drinking a lot, but to make me quit? I just couldn't seem to be able to do it... and this was not long after I had quit smoking. I just couldn't seem to give it up.

I think I would have missed coffee much more than I ended up missing him

_____________________________

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 4:50:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

Not for me it wouldn't. But then I never claimed I'd make a good slave, or submissive lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aromanholiday

but why should the actual reason matter? In the end, the simple fact that her master wants it is enough of a reason, isn't it?

Isn't it quite a relief not to worry about being a "good" submissive or a "good" slave...I'd rather be a "good" me

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 5:04:16 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Exactly. And when I worry that Daddy would be happier with me if I was................. or wasn't.............. he says you're you, an that's what makes me Happy, No, I wouldn't be any happier in the relationship or with you if you were.................. or did ...........

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Isn't it quite a relief not to worry about being a "good" submissive or a "good" slave...I'd rather be a "good" me

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 5:50:56 PM

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Master doesn't like that I drink so much coffee. He's forced me to cut way back and I have a feeling he'll eventually make me stop altogether. He doesn't like addictions/dependencies. Does this make me happy? Hell no. I like..no...love...my coffee but ya know....it's what he wants and that's all that really matters. Like I've said before, sometimes you have to choose just what's important to you.

I've had to make the same choices all my life..choosing between 2 things that I want but couldn't have simultaneously. I'm making those personal choices now in my life. It's not easy at all but nothing in life rarely is.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 6:19:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

OK, per your profile you are learning what it means to be property. I would encourage you to consider the word total and take off your BDSM glasses when you do it. Then I'd encourage you to think long and hard about whether TPE is for you. Do you have any idea how many things are included in the word "total" that go SO WAY THE HELL PAST "tv privileges"?? Don't get me wrong. I understand how little things can be important. But honestly if TV is going to be a major issue then I can't even begin to imagine what you're going to do when he says something like, "Sell your car and give me the cash" or "I want you to quit your job" or "I've decided we're going poly" or.....

Total is a big word. If you decide to stick with it, then consider the word "surrender". That was a big moment for Carol and I.

OK -- this is a fantastic, fantastic post. Thank you. Any wonderings I had about being a slave... gone. And that's a good thing! I'm new, curious, etc, for me, it's nice to go "Whoa. No no no no no..." -- good to discover my own limits and know they're right for me.

Thanks again.

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 7:43:53 PM

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I think looking at this as whether or not the OP "cares more about TV shows than her Master," which has been suggested a few times, is oversimplifying it a little.

The people I love are more important to me than my hobbies. But I would hope that someone who loves me would want me to be happy and would want me to have some enjoyment in ways that are valuable to me (as long as I'm not hurting anyone, obviously). To me, that's extremely important in a relationship, and for someone to try to deprive me of my hobbies would be a sign of much deeper compatibility issues.

Of course, I'm not submissive, either. This type of surrender would never be worth it to me.

(in reply to SubmitIt)

RE: Life Without TV? - 5/22/2011 10:14:37 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming
Your journal made me super HOT!

Ha ha! Thanks :-D My views went through the roof after you posted this.

owned xxx

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