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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 6:06:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

We had friends over more often and played board games like Risk and Monopoly. Instead of going brain dead in front of the boob-tube we read to each other. I grew to like the Sherlock Holmes books in that period of time. All in all, we became more social with each other and our friends.

I think you missed the part where she has to sit through the inane crap he enjoys

You are correct . . . pages deep, I forgot about the part where she has to watch his TV shows about construction, machinery and the military.

I practice 24/7 relationships . . . they ask permission to pee, to eat etc. But I have a schedule and in it, the girls get some free time. Weekly, there is a “girls night out” and daily they have an hour or so free time before sleeping at night. A personal TV or radio could be used in the free time at night. Looks like the OP needs a slave radio or a personal TV.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 7:42:29 AM

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quote:

You are correct . . . pages deep, I forgot about the part where she has to watch his TV shows about construction, machinery and the military.

I practice 24/7 relationships . . . they ask permission to pee, to eat etc. But I have a schedule and in it, the girls get some free time. Weekly, there is a “girls night out” and daily they have an hour or so free time before sleeping at night. A personal TV or radio could be used in the free time at night. Looks like the OP needs a slave radio or a personal TV.

It would be hard to live even a slave life so disconnected from the world.

And while I like shows about construction on occasion (it feeds my inner tomboy that rarely gets out), if that was all I got to watch I would be a very unhappy camper. Especially if I worked many hours each day away from the nest.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 9:33:39 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

We had friends over more often and played board games like Risk and Monopoly. Instead of going brain dead in front of the boob-tube we read to each other. I grew to like the Sherlock Holmes books in that period of time. All in all, we became more social with each other and our friends.

I think you missed the part where she has to sit through the inane crap he enjoys

You are correct . . . pages deep, I forgot about the part where she has to watch his TV shows about construction, machinery and the military.

I practice 24/7 relationships . . . they ask permission to pee, to eat etc. But I have a schedule and in it, the girls get some free time. Weekly, there is a “girls night out” and daily they have an hour or so free time before sleeping at night. A personal TV or radio could be used in the free time at night. Looks like the OP needs a slave radio or a personal TV.

Actually, it seems that she doesn't *have* to watch his shows.....it appears that she wants to be with him and he's going to watch them anyway. She's not actually banned from watching them........just that they won't take preference over him watching what he wants during their 2 hr slot of time each evening.

Basically, neither of them like the other's TV/music choices in their free-time and if she wants to *be* with him, then her choice is to sit and watch them with him or do her own thing.

Personally, I would go off and do my own thing if M was intent on watching *his* TV programmes during the small amount of time we had together. I might prefer to have his time and attention ie..do things that we BOTH enjoy but if that wasn't on the menu I'd leave him to his own devices and use the time to do things I like on my own.

Having said that, if the majority of our time was spent that way, and either one of us wasn't content, it'd have an impact.

owned said...quote..

And yes, I could go into another room, read a book, or come online, but like I said, I don't want to spend less time together, or get into the habit of thinking that happiness = no Sir. Shouldn't happiness = more Sir, even if I'm not getting what I want? But at the same time it's hard having someone else's culture imposed on you all the time. Which brought me to my original post, and how other D/s couples deal with it.

...unquote.

I don't think that *more of Sir* = happiness, no, not in these circumstances. watch or listen to something you DO like.

I also don't quite see how she's having his culture imposed on her if she has the option to continue watching/listening to the things she likes.......the option isn't one she likes, that's all.

Often it's seemingly small things like this that crush relationships, they are usually far more significant than they seem, they are just masked by the insignificance of the presenting *issue*.

agirl

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 9:40:25 AM

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I agree with your entire post, agirl. It's the "little things" that breed and feed resentment, and resentment is a relationship killer. I think the two of them need an open and honest conversation, so they can be aware of what's going on in the bigger picture, and it's potential impact. Then wise decisions can be made accordingly.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 9:50:00 AM

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quote:

Actually, it seems that she doesn't *have* to watch his shows.....it appears that she wants to be with him and he's going to watch them anyway. She's not actually banned from watching them........just that they won't take preference over him watching what he wants during their 2 hr slot of time each evening.

I got the impression she was banned from watching what she wants

quote:

My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 10:04:46 AM

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She later clarified that she can watch his shows with him, but not the shows she likes. She has the option of watching with him or going to the other room to do her own thing.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 10:39:25 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Do you have any idea how many things are included in the word "total" that go SO WAY THE HELL PAST "tv privileges"?? Don't get me wrong. I understand how little things can be important. But honestly if TV is going to be a major issue then I can't even begin to imagine what you're going to do when he says something like, "Sell your car and give me the cash" or "I want you to quit your job" or "I've decided we're going poly" or.....

The funny thing is, I did give him my car (or offered to, before I sold it), I did quit my job for him, and moved 200 miles to be with him, and I did offer to have an open relationship, if that's what he wanted (luckily he didn't) I also quit smoking for him, quit eating red meat for him, and quit having orgasms for him, because it pleased him, and it pleased me to do that for him. Jobs, cars and other girls will come and go. But giving up a whole form of culture that I enjoy is very different. I think people are hung up on the fact that it's 'just TV'. If he was asking me to give up reading, would the answers be very different? I think so.

owned xxx

Which would be far more understandable if you were, in fact, being asked to give it up. But you're not. You said that you hadn't listened to your music for 5 months...and the impression given was that *he* was stopping you. Yet you then say...

As regards having an ipod - I'm not really gadget minded. A lot of my music is on vinyl which makes it kind of difficult to listen to on the train! We also live in a small flat, where the TV, computer and stereo are all in the same room, which makes it difficult for us to do two things at once.

This isn't about being banned at all......It's that you can't do it HOW you want to.

All of the things you've mentioned above are fairly easily solveable. You CAN learn to use a blooming ipod if you can use a pc, you CAN find most music online and download it.....

If you've ever had two kids sharing a room, these things are truly are small fry and don't take much energy to fix.

Or maybe you're feeling hard done by, to a degree, because you've given up all sorts of things *for him* and yet he can't do this one thing *for you*? Do you think he's being a selfish prick here?......because your posts just aren't adding up.

agirl

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 10:42:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

She later clarified that she can watch his shows with him, but not the shows she likes. She has the option of watching with him or going to the other room to do her own thing.

I did not see this post....

Edited to add

I read through all of her posts and it is still ambiguous to me, does he order her to sit and watch TV with him? Or does she just not "want" to be in another room.

It would make no sense for me to start a thread saying I was banned from watching shows I liked, and then say that was only because I CHOOSE not to be in another room....

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 5/25/2011 10:50:07 AM >

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 11:03:02 AM

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I agree, this one is not adding up as the OP presents it. She is not being denied her tv and music, she chooses to spend time with him instead, given the limited amount of down time she has.

I think that is the issue, limited down time. I would certainly feel that way if I was working 12 hours days and came home to 3 hours of chores. I'd want some help with those chores, so we as a couple had more quality time together.

Of course no one has accused me of being slave material. At least, not recently.

Maybe I've got it all wrong, but I don't think so. It just seems there are other issue at play.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 11:35:44 AM

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My mom told me that when she was a young married woman with a passel of kids my dad would watch sports every weekend. He would watch them at night after work, too. For awhile she sat while he watched it bored out of her mind. Televisions were more expensive back then for young married people, so she did not have one of her own.

It got to the point where on the weekends she would take us and leave. She might go to a friend's house, or a relative's while he was doing this. It was not long before he decided that he wasn't that interested in sports after all

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 11:57:18 AM

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I can see where you get your smarts, julia, intelligence is passed down via the mother's DNA.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 12:15:47 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Actually, it seems that she doesn't *have* to watch his shows.....it appears that she wants to be with him and he's going to watch them anyway. She's not actually banned from watching them........just that they won't take preference over him watching what he wants during their 2 hr slot of time each evening.

I got the impression she was banned from watching what she wants

quote:

My Owner has been gradually reducing my TV privileges, until last week I was allowed to watch one show, and then this week I have been allowed to watch none.

Yes, initially, I had that impression too......but subsequent posts have expanded on that.

From those, it seems that it's not actually *banned*. He's not actually denying them, he's just not prepared to sit through them.

She can go and do these things if she wants to, but she wants to spend the time with him. Of course being with HER and watching HER programmes would mean he'd end up feeling the same way......bored.

The actual problem is fairly easily solveable IF it's as presented.

I just happen to think that the REAL problem isn't as presented.

agirl

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 12:20:42 PM

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quote:

I read through all of her posts and it is still ambiguous to me, does he order her to sit and watch TV with him? Or does she just not "want" to be in another room.

Bear with me as I'm typing from my iPhone so it's too hard to copy/paste from various pages.

On page 4, post 63, "He doesn't like my shows.". "I don't want to be off in another room to listen to music or watch films on my computer"

On page 5, post 85, "I don't think he actually intends to deny me TV and music, he just thinks 'not now'". "...some of that is circumstance". "...I could try to squeeze in 10 minutes here or there...". "...if it means spending less time together...that's not the direction that I want to move in".

She later talks about preferring to sit and watch his shows with him than watching her media in the other room.

What agirl pointed out, and I agree with, is she is not actually "banned" (as in a direct order that she is not allowed to watch them at any time and by any means), and that she is not being ordered to watch his shows. She has choices, albeit difficult ones.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 1:18:05 PM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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Just to make it clear - I could go in another room and read, but I couldn't go and watch TV (we only have one). I never stated I preferred not to watch media in another room, as we don't have a TV or computer in any other room!

As regards whether I have the choice of sitting with him or not, he likes me to sit with him and sometimes he orders me to. He doesn't mind if I occasionally go off and do my own thing (he knows I just can't stand some of his shows) but that generally involves me sitting in the same room and going on the computer or reading a book. He wouldn't be impressed if I spent all evening in another room, not talking to him. We only have this time together each day, so whilst other posters are painting it as a 'choice' to spend time together, I wouldn't see him at all if I didn't spend this time with him. This means that, most evenings, I have his TV choices inflicted on me.

As regards being banned / vs choosing not to make use of other very limited options, I stated in my original post that it was getting... "harder and harder for me to keep up with any of the shows I like to watch, to the point where it seems I might as well just give up." If it was a simple, outright ban, I wouldn't be posting asking if I should give up TV or not!

To clarify: my Owner has created a situation where it is almost (but not totally) impossible for me to keep up with any shows on a week to week basis. My question is: "Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future?" even though "It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality."

Hope this makes what I am actually asking clearer.

owned xxx

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 1:27:41 PM

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I really honestly think the best answer you can get is going to your owner and having a serious and honest conversation about the current and potential effects of the situation. I don't think it is up to you alone to decide to give up tv altogether. So step one would be to talk to him so he can own the situation and decide what to do about it.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 2:05:26 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh

To clarify: my Owner has created a situation where it is almost (but not totally) impossible for me to keep up with any shows on a week to week basis. My question is: "Should I just let go of it all now to make life easier in the future?" even though "It just seems a bit hard, to me, to be expected to give up something that's such a part of one's life and personality."

Hope this makes what I am actually asking clearer.

owned xxx

In that case, then yep, give them up as any *part of one's life and personality*. There's not a lot of point hanging onto something that is *almost* impossible to have. There's no middle ground going on there so despite it being hard, them's ya choices. He's your monster :)

You haven't mentioned whether you've discussed all this with him in the depth you have here, so I've assumed you haven't, or you would have given his view?

agirl

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 2:28:58 PM

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It sounds like you need to talk to him.

Here could be some of the compromises....

Get a TV for you

Have times during each day where you have an hour to watch TV, maybe a couple of more hours on your days off.

Just let it go and accept it.

Break up because you both have incompatibility problems...

Those are just a few ideas... there are probably more. I will tell you, if you are like me and start feeling he is unfair it will cause you to be resentful. If resentment builds up you won't be there sooner or later. Personally, I dislike unfairness, and although the person in charge has to make unfair decisions sometimes, what is watched on TV, and when it is watched, is not one of those unfair decisions that has to be made.

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 2:55:51 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It sounds like you need to talk to him.

Here could be some of the compromises....

Get a TV for you

Have times during each day where you have an hour to watch TV, maybe a couple of more hours on your days off.

Just let it go and accept it.

Break up because you both have incompatibility problems...

Those are just a few ideas... there are probably more. I will tell you, if you are like me and start feeling he is unfair it will cause you to be resentful. If resentment builds up you won't be there sooner or later. Personally, I dislike unfairness, and although the person in charge has to make unfair decisions sometimes, what is watched on TV, and when it is watched, is not one of those unfair decisions that has to be made.

I made a few suggestions earlier too...lol

I'm in total agreement about resentment. If I'm finding something unfair, which is quite rare.....it's a very SERIOUS issue no matter what it's about for this very reason. This isn't because I can't cope with things being unequal but in my herb garden there's a world of difference between something being imposed because he has the right to and something being imposed because he's a selfish, boorish arse.

The difference? Not sure in the turn out of the pudding, but you know it when you see it.

It's not only me that chose M.....he chose me too and just as I try not to disregard the things that are of value to him, I've been used to him giving the same amount of thoughtfulness and consideration, if not more.

We like to be happy and smiley about stuff. Even M/s! :)

agirl

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 3:01:02 PM

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I lived without TV for a really long time.. I went out more.. read a ton more and got a lot more stuff done in day than most of my friends... I have TV now if I want it... I hate it..

went from zero to all channels ever possible on a 55" TV

I like to watch movies now and then... but TV is generally useless.. and someone could take it out right now...I'd be thrilled

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RE: Life Without TV? - 5/25/2011 3:07:28 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

...went from zero to all channels ever possible on a 55" TV

I like to watch movies now and then... but TV is generally useless.. and someone could take it out right now...I'd be thrilled

I'll be happy to pick up your 55" TV for you, and take it off your hands

(in reply to Madame4a)

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