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Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 6:42:55 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		I don't get it?  I mean, everyone wants to be loved for what's 'inside' right?  So why do they all require a pic?  I can't show a pic of myself here, because, it would outweigh the consequences on my vanilla life.  So, what do I do?
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 6:46:51 PM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		Trust me.  Men are just as obsessed with getting a pic from women on this site.  I ask that they wait until we've chatted a bit to see if there is compatibility before I will share a face pic.  Most are very reasonable and will wait.  There are others that get pissed off and I say "good riddance".


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(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 6:48:52 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		I'm curious...would you be willing (or have you as of yet) to meet a woman without seeing her photo?

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 5/22/2011 6:49:18 PM >

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 6:53:02 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		Don't get me wrong, Men are just as much dependant on a photo.  But, I'm coming from a male perspective. Like, I like the women who want the alpha male.  The ones who like that challenge because, I enjoy that challenge because in my vanilla life I'm pretty much, on the top.  I won't accept just any mistress.  She has to demonstrate shes worth my time.  Personally I'd find more interest in someone who could stimulate my imagination with words than with pictures.  Pictures can be fake.  Anyways the point is, they want these alpha male types, yet they want a picture.  But, surely anyone who is in charge of their vanilla destiny would understand that announcing their identity here could be detrimental to their career and reputation.  A career and reputation which, may pay for the delights a mistress requires or something like that.  So, I don't get it. 

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 7:00:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have zero problem with someone not wanting to put up a clear face photo. I have never considered it a measure of worth as far as communication, getting to know one another a bit. I PREFER to see who I am talking to, but it isn't something I demand initially. If, after we've exchanged some communication, gotten a better feel for one another, and they still insist on remaining elusive, then I will likely become elusive to them.

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(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 7:05:44 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		It really boils down to people only wanting to engage in these activities or relationships with someone they are attracted to physically as well as every other way.  While you want someone who can inspire you, the woman wants to ensure that they are putting the effort into somebody worth their time as well.  There are a lot of males on the forums who don't have face pics up, but they trust people enough to share them privately.  If there isn't just that bit of trust, there's not going to be a meeting in My world.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 5/22/2011 7:07:24 PM >

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 7:18:50 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Keep, OKCupid ran a study, and the statistics conclusively showed that a facepic does not generate the most interest in women. A shot of you doing something sexy does. Captaining your sailboat, whatever. I get emails from women because of "my" waterfall on a regular basis, both here and elsewhere. Show some creativity.

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(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 7:37:07 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Can't answer for others, but I insist on a picture right away. My tolerance for 'getting to know' someone without a picture via email is one from him, then one from me with "hello, thanks for writing, and I'd love to put a face with the 'type'." I don't like to waste the other person's time (or mine) if I don't find him appealing. Women get a lot of mail on this site; requiring a picture eliminates a lot of bullshitters.

Of course it's 'what's inside' that counts; both you and I would be lying if we said that's all that counts to go to the next level. For me, it takes attraction on every level...intellectual, emotional, similar life philosophy and outlook, and yes physical to want to move forward to something significant enough to go hands-on. It's not even about movie-star looks. I call it 'chemistry' in my profile, and a picture is one element (albeit an important one) to help me determine if that might be there. I have plenty of pictures on my profile that are an accurate depiction of what I'm about both in and out of the lifestyle, so if someone writes I assume he found them appealing. I want the same advantage.

Kudos to you for the narrative on your profile. You 'get it' and it's refreshing to find that in one so young, especially on a kinky dating site. I understand not everyone can post identifying pictures on their profiles. But get creative; have a friend take a picture of you doing something g-rated you love with your face turned enough not to identify you would be a good start. Consider it your first assignment in finding a dominant partner. Good luck in your search; you're on the right track!

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 8:03:55 PM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		Photos don't do much for me, most of the time. Sometimes, they work against me--I see something that attracts me and forget that's only a small feature of a certain sub, that the person isn't a good match. I've met two subs from CM that looked terrific in person and not at all good in the photo.

If you can't send a photo--for whatever reason. Ok by me. I like to have one before I meet someone--sent privately if they wish, but I will still chat and meet someone without the photo.

I don't want my face up here so I use a rose that I grew and photographed, some people use it as a springboard to ask questions--which I think it a good conversation-opener, way better than telling me how good they are at body worship.

Why not experiment as suggested above with devising a clever icon for yourself that tells others a bit about you. if you post on the forums, it helps others recognize you. That's already a plus, that you're posting! best wishes for your sucess.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 8:09:13 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I don't put a picture of myself on my profile here, and I don't intend to. If someone isn't willing to exchange 2 or 3 decent emails (meaning more than a sentence or two) before demanding a picture, then they aren't worth my time.

There are too many people who could take an innocent picture and post it wherever they want on the net.

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 8:16:07 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Show some creativity.


Bingo!

My main photo on my profile is a cup of coffee. I took the photo. I also have other photos...4 of which are "creative shots" of me.

Creativity is sexy.

The man I'm talking with and planning to meet in about a week or so has very creative pictures on his profile...no face/cock shots. Creative and tasteful.

After exchanging emails/phone calls over the past week, I asked him to send a photo so I could see who I was meeting (as friends, mind you, for now).

Sharing a photo is important for some of us. Not because I'm shallow, but because I like to put a face to the name.




< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 5/22/2011 8:20:22 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 8:23:12 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		I have to be physically attracted to someone, so a face photo is a must, either on the profile or sent to me via email.  However, it's not just a matter of attractiveness, it's also a measure of how comfortable someone is with his or her kinky side.  If you're too paranoid to send me a photo, then you're too paranoid to be my partner.  I'm not going to be someone's dirty little secret ever again.  Anyone who expects that to happen can slag off.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 8:48:31 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		If we're chatting with someone, we expect a picture fairly quickly. Not because either of us particularly cares about what the guy looks like, but because we like to have a face to put with the name and personality. A picture of yourself doing something you like - a sport, hanging with friends, etc - is a good place to start ... but if your face isn't visible, yes, we'd ask you for a face picture. We have ours up so any guy who messages us already knows what we look like. We feel we deserve the same in return.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:02:54 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

I'm curious...would you be willing (or have you as of yet) to meet a woman without seeing her photo?


Yes I have met women with out having seen them first, on a friendship level.    See, I can't show people who I am, I must develop a trust first.

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:06:23 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		Sweet Domme.  I think it depends alot on what you do for a living and things like that.  I even avoid being in photos.  I'm not someone who should be, seen.   I'm not, anything bad.  I'm not ugly.  I do play sports but I'm not an adonis or anything, but, it's just my reputation, my job and so forth, it's better for me to A- not appear in photos and B- not put those photos on the internet. 

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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:07:12 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

I'm curious...would you be willing (or have you as of yet) to meet a woman without seeing her photo?


Yes I have met women with out having seen them first, on a friendship level.    See, I can't show people who I am, I must develop a trust first.



Then what's the problem?

Some people want to see a photo fairly soon...some don't. If you're not willing to share, then you need to focus on those who don't ask for a photo.


(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:11:36 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		Of course I focus on those who don't ask for a photo.  What I'm trying to say is I think I'm not having as much luck as I could because I don't share a photo. 

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:20:13 PM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KeepMeUnderneath

Of course I focus on those who don't ask for a photo.  What I'm trying to say is I think I'm not having as much luck as I could because I don't share a photo. 


Possibly. It could also be the type of profiles you're attracted to, it could be that some folks online are only interested in hooking up for a quick meet-n-beat, it could be that you don't have much "life" to your profile (enough of you to attract the kind of woman you'd like to)....it could be a whole host of things.

Have you tried meeting folks offline, at a munch? Maybe you'd have better luck that way.

Think of it this way.....your profile is an advertisment and you're the product on display. How good of a job are you doing at displaying yourself?

What I write on my profile...the entries in my journal....my choice in photos...they all say something about who I am.

Who are you....with or without a face shot?

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 9:33:14 PM   
KeepMeUnderneath


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		As much as I'd love to attend a munch, it's, not something I could do because I know that somewhere in that circle, someone I know will dwell.  Then, if word got out, well, it wouldn't be too good to my life plans.  As much as, this is a part of me, it's not my lifestyle.  It's a bit like when you see someone who belongs to a musical subculture.  They get immersed in the music, dress the part and so forth and live that life style and then 20 years later say "I can't believe that was me."  I'm not that kind of person.  If I was, I'd gladly show myself here.  I'm not ashamed of anyone I may meet here.  I would love to meet someone off here then have something meaningful and vanilla with them, with just some kinkyness in the bedroom.  Ideally that's what I would like.  If not that, than atleast some like minded conversation and friendship. 

The kind of women I attract in my Vanilla life, are, well, for the most part model material.  Infact I purposely try to scale down that physical element because I'm a bit tired of dating gorgeous women with no substance.  It takes alot more than a pretty face to win me over and thats why I guess a picture is nice, but isn't the be all and end all for me.  I'd like to think there is a women out there who thinks the same.  I'm in a difficult position where, I can't really change anything, but that doesn't seem to work here.

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
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RE: Why are women obsessed with pics? - 5/22/2011 10:06:13 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		I don't post a face pic either, but before I'm going to meet someone, we exchange photos; I'm not going to meet someone who looks like an axe-murderer or my dad.
Oh, and I once got a pic from a co-worker's husband, and you bet I told her and forwarded his profile. Turned out he had recently given her herpes and had told her it was from kissing his own mom when she was getting a cold sore (eyeroll), rather than from his being a lying cheating and now contagious slut.
So you can understand why we require pics, but for us it's for safety, not for wank fodder.

(in reply to KeepMeUnderneath)
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