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Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:19:46 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
There are days when I really wish the forums had buttons for automated responses like we have for CMail.  A comment by LadyPact on the I Admit thread brought to mind those humorous form letters you've seen floating around the internet.  If I wrote a form letter to apply to some of the silly/inane/stupid posts I've seen in my 3.5 years here, I'd start with these:
 
"S/he isn't that into you; move on."
"No, that isn't poly or D/s (M/s), it's cheating."
"Take the D/s words out of your post and ask yourself the same question."
"Why are you posting on a message board when you should be talking to your partner(s)?"  
"No, we do not want to cater to your fetish, now go the hell away."
 
 
What generic responses would you include in your form letter?  Make them pithy, funny, snarky or whatever you like.  Just have fun with it.


< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 5/23/2011 12:20:41 PM >


_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:24:54 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
"giving money to women online is someone's kink - get over it"

"yes, there IS someone out there who will do x/y/z with you"



_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:25:45 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
?  I love you.  Can we get married on Tuesday?

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:28:45 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
pfffttt...you say that to ALL the girls!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:35:11 PM   
MaxsBoy


Posts: 766
Status: offline
"Just because that's a hard limit for you doesn't mean it's a hard limit for everyone."

"Ok then, write your profile however you like.  But don't come back and bitch about not finding a partner when we warned you that an empty/stupid/abusive/lame profile is half your problem."

"A munch or other local event really is a good way to find someone to play with."

"If we have to tell you what to do with your sub/slave/bottom, maybe it's time to go back and read a book."

"If you want to know how to best please your Dom/me, ask him/her!

_____________________________

~Fox~

Packmate of Max

Fukin Trollop, whipping boi, and unapologetic uberslut

I can't shake this feeling in my head
There's a Devil sleeping in my bed

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:36:30 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
You might enjoy a book called, "When Someone You Love is Kinky".

If you can't invest your time in knowing the person, plan to pay for play.

Most women aren't going to initiate emails just because you created a profile.  They don't have to.  They are too busy with the emails they receive.

Just because we're kinky doesn't mean that we're going to help you cheat on your wife.




_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to myotherself)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:47:23 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
No one owes you a response to your emails.

The internet is full of fake profiles, this site is not any different.

Your fake is someone else's true love

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:52:11 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
You're on a kink site & STILL can't get laid??

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 12:53:51 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
Your main pic is a dick - does that give you a clue why people treat you like one?

Your main pic is a c**t - does that give you a clue why people treat you like one?

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to VirginPotty)
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RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:05:16 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
When asking for other people's opinions, don't expect to like them all.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:08:27 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
"Stop whining about it and move on."

"Go do your homework."

"If you need to ask, he probably IS a douchebag."

"Consult a medical professional."



_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:14:46 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
You asked what we thought you should do and we told you.  You didn't listen and things went wrong.  Don't whine; it's not our fault you're an idiot.
 
Starting a whine thread after you've been moderated is a great way to garner sympathy and encourage the mods to reconsider. 
(Maybe this one should go under "BDSM Bad Advice'.)
 
Your misogyny/misandry/homophobia/heterosexism/cissexism/binarism/monogamy-centrism says more about you than anything else you posted.
 
Guess what - you are not the Keeper of the One True Way, so shut the fuck up.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:21:55 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
I like everyone's additions to the letter !! Here's some of my own:

Just b/c the females on this site are kinky, that doesn't mean they're promiscuous.

If you *really* want a whore, go buy one.

It's easy to *say* you're a no limits slave until the blow torch comes out.

I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

_____________________________



(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:23:17 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline
These are all excellent. *points up*

- No, I won't, because in my Universe, 'no' really does still mean 'no'.

- No. Not even if I was single, or a cum-guzzling gutter slut who didn't give a rat's ass. Not a chance.

- 'Not Looking' also means 'no'.

- STFU.

- Manners are good, I like them and find them very attractive. But it's still 'no'.

- It's nice that you find my profile so interesting that you feel the need to revisit it 147 times, but I'm ignoring you/have placed you on block for a REEzun. 'No'.

- A life. Get one.

- Better yet, get a kitten and a tall cold glass of chocolate milk.

- WTF, over..

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:25:18 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

You asked what we thought you should do and we told you.  You didn't listen and things went wrong.  Don't whine; it's not our fault you're an idiot.
 
Starting a whine thread after you've been moderated is a great way to garner sympathy and encourage the mods to reconsider. 
(Maybe this one should go under "BDSM Bad Advice'.)
 
Your misogyny/misandry/homophobia/heterosexism/cissexism/binarism/monogamy-centrism says more about you than anything else you posted.
 
Guess what - you are not the Keeper of the One True Way, so shut the fuck up.


-THESE, totally..-

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:29:10 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
Even skanks with no prospect suffer velleity.  That's why she didn't write you back.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SorceressJ)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:33:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
Asking for creative punishments/humiliating activities/ideas for your sub never works here.  We don't know her/him, so we don't know what a negative consequence would be.  So far, the only punishment about this is that she/he has a Dom/me that doesn't know how to handle their own sub.

Please use the search feature.

Have you read the FAQ thread?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:37:52 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
The fact that your primary photo includes your genitals/anus/duckface/fishlips automatically negates your credibility.
 
Yes, age/weight/height/race/experience level matter to some people.  Get over it.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:40:50 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
This isn't Domination Drive-thru, where you can place your order and a submissive magically appears.


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Your Generic Form Letter - 5/23/2011 1:42:09 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
Just like in real life, if the phone rings and it's for me, I'm not here. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 20
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