RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd been raped?

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:46:05 AM

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quote:

I'll let you in on a secret. For the first years of my life, I was entirely submissive to two people and unable to function on my own. Yes, I was a submissive then, and every Dom/me on this site was at that stage of their lives as well.

Not me. When I was born I slapped my mama and then I kicked the doctor's ass (those fucking forceps were cold) and fucked the nurse.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:46:34 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
If he were to succumb to victim mentality.. no.. I cant be THAT degree of an emotional caregiver.

I'm afraid that'd be beyond me, too.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:48:36 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Not a submissive woman, but a person who knows a lot of sub women. Almost ALL of them wouldn't submit to someone who bottomed.

Interesting. I can understand that - and I know I've felt the same way before. I was once in a situation where I was bottoming to a woman - and then she, herself, suddenly began to bottom for a man. All subby feelings in me suddenly evaporated. To be fair, she said to the man, 'But Peon shouldn't see me like this' - and she was correct. But ultimately neither the man, nor she herself, cared. Obviously I never played with her again.

But to flip around your comment, Lady Hib: how would a femdom feel if she knew that I'd played top to a femsub?

Someone like me? Thrilled. Actually, most of my inner circle is very switch-positive and always has been. I also find it helpful and fun to have a co-top. Though I suspect that discussion is for another thread.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:50:59 AM

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what Hibbie said

(yanno, I'm a bit concerned about all the other women around here that speak my mind.. OH NOES! iz I a sock???)

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:52:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

The question in the thread title has been kicking around in my head for a while now, ever since I happened upon a vomit-provoking and highly illuminating prison rape documentary on YouTube. I forced myself to watch the whole thing out of a sense of pity for the victims--or perhaps the worst part of me forbade me to turn away from such exquisite sickness. In any event, I watched it.

I found myself wondering how women--submissive women in particular--perceive men who are turned out in prison. Maybe there can be no definitive answer to this question, but I suspect it's at least safe to say that virtually no woman would ever be more attracted to a man for learning that he was, or had once been, another man's bitch. And it seems reasonable to assume that a woman who actively craves dominance in a man would, if anything, be more inclined than women in general to feel an instinctive revulsion for a man who had been forced into submission himself--and not just submission, but submission of the most degrading kind.

Is my intuition right? When the men who've been the victim of this atrocity conceal their shame from you, are they right to do so? Would any part of you think less of them if you knew? I do care what your rational, reasonable, moral mind has to say, but I'm more interested in the reptile beneath.

And with that, I'm gone for the night. The bees are stinging my eyes already.

Go on the red boards and you will find plenty of women who have this fetish.

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:52:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

what Hibbie said

(yanno, I'm a bit concerned about all the other women around here that speak my mind.. OH NOES! iz I a sock???)

Nope, just a fellow Pimpette!

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 11:52:55 AM

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*blink*

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:13:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

It tells me why there are SO MANY men that do it on the DL. They are terrfied of what women will think.

Myself, I would rather be aware and honest, building on and working through that sort of shit than pretending it didn't exist only to come bite me in the ass later on.

As I said in my post above you would be surprised at how many women are into that.

< Message edited by rulemylife -- 9/16/2011 12:15:01 PM >

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:16:21 PM

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yeah,. actually, I would.. I dont know (personally) any women that prefer to be lied to at risk of their own sexual health.

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 9/16/2011 12:17:11 PM >

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:17:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

*blink*

What does that mean?

You need me to FedEx some eye drops to you?

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:19:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yeah,. actually, I would.. I dont know (personally) any women that prefer to be lied to at risk of their own sexual health.

True, though I do consider "rape victim" and "person cruising for unsafe sex behind spouse's back" to be different categories.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:22:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yeah,. actually, I would.. I dont know (personally) any women that prefer to be lied to at risk of their own sexual health.

No one is talking about risking any one's personal health.

The only thing I said was there are a lot of women on the personals boards here that are into forced bi.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:25:04 PM

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jeezus.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:47:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

But to flip around your comment, Lady Hib: how would a femdom feel if she knew that I'd played top to a femsub? Would she be turned off to see me do that? I've never really considered that before.

I certainly cannot speak for anyone else but I have zero problem owning a switch. My only problem would be if she had a tendency to forget who da chief boss is. Granted, I am very poly minded so being okay with her having her own play partners, etc.....is cool with me. As long as she doesn't forget who owns her ass and always plays by my rules.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 12:56:43 PM

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Heh. Bit of a side-note:

It still makes me smile that when I first joined CM, I identified as a switch. I honestly believed, back then, that I'd only ever get the chance to be submissive in any way at all if I 'paid' for it by being a top some, or perhaps even most, of the time.

I'd had so many GFs beforehand who'd cajoled me into being the top - that being what I should "naturally do, as a male". It was kind of fun - I could do it - but it wasn't the bullseye for me.

Well, well - you live and you learn.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 1:09:58 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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Sheesh! Project much there OP?

quote:

I suspect it's at least safe to say that virtually no woman would ever be more attracted to a man for learning that he was, or had once been, another man's bitch.

I have to disagree. It would depend entirely on how they deal with it. I am terribly attracted <serious understatement> to Hanners, who has been raped three times. Part of that attraction is based on the attitude she with which she regards those events. I suspect that if I were into men, I would be rather attracted to a man who was strong enough to overcome what is a very traumatic ordeal and not let it run his life.

quote:

And it seems reasonable to assume that a woman who actively craves dominance in a man would, if anything, be more inclined than women in general to feel an instinctive revulsion for a man who had been forced into submission himself--and not just submission, but submission of the most degrading kind.

Being raped has nothing whatsoever to do with submission. It is about being overpowered or being sufficiently threatened <which is a form of being overpowered, just not physically so>. You clearly have little or no actual understanding of what either rape or submission is. Again it would depend on how he handled it. There would be pity, compassion, and sympathy for him but no revulsion. I find the idea of a person soiling them self revolting, but if the person did it because they had dysentery I wouldn't find the person revolting. It's the same thing. You blame the victim for the rape, and for some reason you assume that submissive women are equally biased and wrong-headed in their thinking.

quote:

Is my intuition right?

No, not even slightly, in fact it is, in my opinion completely and totally wrong. It is a case of you assuming your own personal prejudices apply to other people. This is usually a mistake.

quote:

When the men who've been the victim of this atrocity conceal their shame from you, are they right to do so?

The shame is not on the victim. There is no shame in being raped. The shame is in the raping and on the rapist. If they choose not to discuss or reveal it, that is their choice, not mine. Are they right? I don't think so really, see the next response for the reason why.

quote:

Would any part of you think less of them if you knew?

No. Not in the least, no more than if they had been hit by a drunk driver when crossing the road. I might think less of them if they let the fact that they were a victim of rape become the defining event in their life.

quote:

I'm more interested in the reptile beneath.

My reptile worries more about strength of character and wisdom in the face of danger than it worries about empty-headed machismo-based ideas that judge people based on the occurrence of events in their lives over which they have no control.

I have a question for you. Would you think less of a woman who had been raped?

< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 9/16/2011 1:32:06 PM >

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 1:13:03 PM

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Quality.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 1:13:12 PM

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yay Heather!!

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 1:22:54 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

Can't speak for anyone else, but it isn't homophobia for me

I'm glad you don't try to speak for anybody else, because it IS homophobia.

quote:

I've spent the last 45 years of my life in a gay community. And I would hardly have done that if I found homosexuality unpleasant.

You don't understand what homophobia is. This isn't uncommon in homophobes who are in denial. It's the old "some of my best friends are Jews" argument.

quote:

Where do you draw the line between personal preference and bigotry?

Right about here:

quote:

I would reject a man as a partner if he were bi.

Sorry, but that makes about as much sense as saying you would reject a man as a partner if he liked cheesecake.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Would you be less inclined to submit to a man who'd... - 9/16/2011 1:46:55 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Now THAT is an excellent post Heather!

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