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Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:01:59 AM

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Have had a slave with us for the past 14 days. She has gone back home for a few day. She is willing to do just about anything to please us and is learning her routine quickly and without much correcting. However there is a problem. She suffers from debilitating migraines and when she gets one, she still does what she is told to do, but when she is on a task. she is winching and sighing as she does her work and this really annoys us. Does anyone have any suggestions about when she is like this how to handle it?

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:04:46 AM

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You're kidding me.

You get annoyed from her getting a migraine? Something that she can't control?

Oy freaking vey.

If it bothers you so much, get her some bottles of Excedrin, or make an appointment for her to see somebody who can help.

But really, talk about inconsiderate and rude.

< Message edited by MissAsylum -- 11/28/2011 8:06:38 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:05:50 AM

lizi

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If the migraines are debilitating may I ask why you are still having her work? I don't know the situation, but shouldn't she be in bed or something for relief till it passes?

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:09:09 AM

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I would think so. Migraines aren't a laughing matter. I've had ones that make me vomit from being in so much pain.

Your slave's health is more important than your tasks.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:16:37 AM

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Yeah, OP, i'd say you don't really understand migraines or how to deal with someone who is having one. If watching her clean and wince is annoying, take away the thing that's optional. She isn't choosing to have the migraines. You are choosing to lump tasks on top of them. Just because you can order someone to do something doesn't mean you should.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:17:29 AM

lizi

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That's what I've heard, I don't have them but I'm aware that they are serious and have a wide variety of awful symptoms.

To be fair to the OP's, I'm wondering if this slave is a bit of a martyr and is saying she can still carry on, but wanting them to be convinced as it were that she is in pain and perhaps that will matter to them that she cares enough to go on with things even though she's not in top form. Because if the migraines were indeed debilitating it would be as you said Miss A, a situation where the slave couldn't really carry on with her day. So I'm just wondering if what is irritating here is that the slave is putting on a bit of a show and perhaps exaggerating her condition...? Honestly, that would irritate the heck out of me, having someone put on the wounded bird act. I think the answer here perhaps lies in whether the slave is really ill or saying she's ill. I could certainly be wrong. I'm just not sure that someone could even carry on with things if she were suffering from debilitating migraines. Seems off.

If she is having a true migraine and the OP's are wanting their chores done anyway then that would be pure asshattery although I don't see enough here to put them in that category...yet.

< Message edited by lizi -- 11/28/2011 8:21:02 AM >

(in reply to MissAsylum)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:29:39 AM

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There are many factors that could affect the story: does she really have a headache, let alone a migraine for one.

But i'm going to take this at face value.

Lizi - ever had a horrible hangover? Multiply that times 100, and you have a migraine.

Having the need to vomit isnt as common, but the majority of people who have had a migraine are nauseous during one. There is extreme sensitivity to virtually any and all stimuli. My ex would have migraines so intense that her eyesight would go in and out.

Its kind of hard to work through a migraine ...hence why they are debilitating.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:30:52 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

That's what I've heard, I don't have them but I'm aware that they are serious and have a wide variety of awful symptoms.

To be fair to the OP's, I'm wondering if this slave is a bit of a martyr and is saying she can still carry on, but wanting them to be convinced as it were that she is in pain and perhaps that will matter to them that she cares enough to go on with things even though she's not in top form. Because if the migraines were indeed debilitating it would be as you said Miss A, a situation where the slave couldn't really carry on with her day. So I'm just wondering if what is irritating here is that the slave is putting on a bit of a show and perhaps exaggerating her condition...? Honestly, that would irritate the heck out of me, having someone put on the wounded bird act. I think the answer here perhaps lies in whether the slave is really ill or saying she's ill. I could certainly be wrong...

Obviously, she is trying to continue on. It is really difficult for someone who has never had a migraine to really understand. Not your fault, lizi, and you are lucky to have never had one.

She may be trying to gauge their reaction as well. Based on their ignoring the fact that she suffers from migraines, she may never return after her visit home.

Migraines are different for each person, even though there are common symptoms. I'm lucky that I can usually avoid the vomiting part, but not always. When it has gotten that bad, some part of your brain says that if you vomit you will feel better. When you are vomiting, you don't notice the pain as much, but as soon as you are done heaving, it is often worse.

Many people become very sensitive to light and sound. For me, it is sound and scent. Yea, all you want to do is crawl in bed or whatever you can do to make it better, but sometimes that just isn't feasible. Just like any other illness, sometimes there are priorities that come first (children come to mind).

What's more important here is that the OP have been told that this woman suffers from debilitating migraines, and rather than consider her pain as she continues to attempt to make a good impression on them, they are annoyed that she is wincing in pain. I can only imagine how annoyed they might be if she had to stop to go vomit every few minutes. Being inconsiderate of someone's illness when you are planning any kind of relationship with them is just rude.

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:34:35 AM

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quote:

she is winching and sighing as she does her work and this really annoys us.

How is it you have determined she is suffering with a migraine and have failed both yourself and her by failing to research the cause and effect of migraines? And, that leads me to the question , do you even possess the humanness, intellect and intelligence necessary to discern the depth of responsibility that comes along with the title you appointed yourself.

I don’t suffer from migraines, my secretary does and I’ve been known to get her ass in the car, home and in a darkened room staying with her for up to three days. Seems to me a dom would be far more concerned about her well being than an employer.

(in reply to oddlots347)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:36:36 AM

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oddlots347?

If you are THIS emotionally cold, insensitive, and irresponsible toward your submissive(s) than, in my opinion, you are not worthy to own one!

Respectfully posted,
Clickofheels

(in reply to MissAsylum)

RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:39:47 AM

lizi

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Miss A and LL, I SWEAR I believe you both about how horrible and debilitating migraines can be. I've not had one but have heard enough throughout my life to totally respect that issue as being one that I never want to have. My only thought here is that IF the slave were being truthful about her condition. It just doesn't seem possible with the symptoms that you both are describing that you could even attempt to carry on with household chores- it seems like sobbing in a back room with a puke bucket would be more how your day is spent. So, if this woman is still going about cleaning at all and with ONLY sighing and wincing I have to wonder if it is indeed a migraine, that's all. Color me suspicious.

If is is an actual migraine and she's trying to do chores....? Well, that's just wrong.Wrong of the slave to even attempt it, and wrong of the OP's to expect her to do it and then be irritated as well. I just can't imagine being that much of a dick though, so I'm waiting for the OP to come back and give more explanation.

< Message edited by lizi -- 11/28/2011 8:41:48 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:42:58 AM

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~FR

Is the slave over-dramatizing? It's possible. But then again, maybe the migraines are real and the OP just doesn't care. Either way, this slave is not right for the OP. I hope the slave has enough sense to realize it.

As I recall, this couple has been complaining how difficult it is to find a third. Gosh, I wonder why.

January

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:45:15 AM

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I have had a few migraines in my lifetime (my sibling unfortunately gets the bulk of them) - it's not always impossible to keep going if, for whatever reason, you feel obligated in spite of the brain-shattering painn.
Of couse sometimes people say "migraine" when they mean "bad headache" - who knows what the girl in question means... nbut it's kinda lame that they're just "annoyed" by it rather than attempting to be compassionate or talkinng to her and getting to the bottom of it.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:47:22 AM

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Why don't you be a dom and get her to a doctor for a checkup and medications???

She may just be trying to get a reaction from you but if you get her to a dr and if she continues it then you'll know what to do....either make her take her medication and lie down until it passes or if it's just for reaction with no migraine then you can tell her to stop it and do her work. If she continues doing what she's doing...WITHOUT a migraine then you find a new slave if it annoys you that much. If she actually IS suffering from a migraine however I'd say she should find a new Dom.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:52:04 AM

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You might try not being an asshole...

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:56:26 AM

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quote:

it's not always impossible to keep going if, for whatever reason, you feel obligated in spite of the brain-shattering painn.

It is when the person loses sight in both eyes, cannot maintain a cognitive thought and the pain so acute she curls up in a fetal position. I’ve taken her to the emergency room on more than one occasion, they gave her a shot and it helped but did not completely stop the migraine , not by a long shot.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 8:57:15 AM

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Yeah, amazing how that works sometimes.

I own my dog. If my dog has a limp, I don't keep walking him and bitch about him slowing me down. I investigate and get him to a doctor if need be. Seems like a simple concept to me. Responsibility seems to be a four-letter-word for some people.

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 9:00:11 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

I have had a few migraines in my lifetime (my sibling unfortunately gets the bulk of them) - it's not always impossible to keep going if, for whatever reason, you feel obligated in spite of the brain-shattering painn.
Of couse sometimes people say "migraine" when they mean "bad headache" - who knows what the girl in question means... nbut it's kinda lame that they're just "annoyed" by it rather than attempting to be compassionate or talkinng to her and getting to the bottom of it.

I completely agree with you Lily that it's incredibly lame to be annoyed rather then getting to the bottom of it. Completely agree. The picture in my head of them wanting their chores done while someone may need some rest or medical attention isn't a nice one. Which is why I wanted more info. If that picture is true, then stand back while I prepare the cannons because that is a dangerous attitude- to stand back and watch at someone else's expense. To me, standing back and watching in a situation like this is not being Dominant in the least, or at least how I picture Dominance, which to me has a large portion of leadership and caretaking involved in it.

The OP's have a history of not providing a ton of information right off the bat in their threads, they leave out things, so I was waiting to see what else would come up.

Edited to add: I have seen the OP's watching this thread and not posting anything further, why?

< Message edited by lizi -- 11/28/2011 9:02:12 AM >

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 9:00:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arienos

quote:

it's not always impossible to keep going if, for whatever reason, you feel obligated in spite of the brain-shattering painn.

It is when the person loses sight in both eyes, cannot maintain a cognitive thought and the pain so acute she curls up in a fetal position. I’ve taken her to the emergency room on more than one occasion, they gave her a shot and it helped but did not completely stop the migraine , not by a long shot.

Oh I kow, my siblinng gets horrible ones. I've had some that made it impossible to move or think. I'm just saying that some people will lose sight of themselves in order to please a Dominannnt, especially if they feel that failing is not at all an option. So it's possible that she's trying to soldier on because she feels that kind of obligation, or they've done something to show her their "annoyance."

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RE: Slave under consideration - 11/28/2011 9:03:32 AM

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As LBP says, it isn't always impossible to carry out tasks. I am taking the OP's statements at face value. They don't indicate they don't believe she is suffering, they are just annoyed that she is making them aware of it. The way I see it, they say she is "under consideration." She is trying to make a good impression, and presumably would like to be a part of their family. So she is trying to show them what a hard worker she is, and how far she will go to please them. I don't necessarily feel that is the best thing for her to do, either, if she has a migraine.

Realistically, when she told them she suffered from debilitating migraines, there should have been a discussion between all three of them as to how things would be handled when a migraine came on. This is a major fail on everone's part, but more so on the OP. Why? Because since they obviously don't know anything about migraines, they should have asked her questions to figure out if it would be a deal breaker. Typically, I may suffer from less than one migraine a month, other times, I get clusters, where I will have several over a week (although I think that is actually the same one I never get rid of).

If her migraines are infrequent (one a month or less), then it is a minor issue. If she is one who gets them weekly, it is a major issue. Migraines can also be stress induced, and I am willing to bet that a "14 day trial" is pretty stress inducing.

As with any medical condition, people need to discuss how it manifests, how debilitating it is and how it will be handled. It is NEVER ok to behave the way the OP is.

(in reply to lizi)

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