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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:16:01 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I honestly knew that I would get these kinds of responses. And no, I won't back peddle.
Yea, at your age, you are probibly used to it by now.

I know it's not a popular stance to take, and it sounds very harsh. I share how I'm feeling, and I won't apologize for that.
And others are sharing how they feel about it.

Thing is, I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way I do.
Just because someone else agrees with you, does not make your rant any less obnoxious. After all, Manson had several followers. Didn't make him a nice guy.

You are all entitled to have your opinion, and I won't insult you for having it.
Well that's nice considering your op was pretty much a blanket insult.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:16:29 AM

Dscouple7383

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Thank you SharedLife. I mean, goodness. I know that people get upset when you talk about appearance and weight, but...sometimes facts are facts.

And that's what gets people all upset. Believe it or not, I wasn't trying to be vicious. The simple fact of the matter, is that a LOT of the people in the scene are obese. In fact, the MAJORITY.

Now, they are beautiful people for sure, and there is someone out there for everyone. And all of that is fine.

Look at it this way....if you stopped at 4 gas stations on your way home from work, and every gas station you walked into ONLY served coke cans. Wouldn't the natural observation be that EVERY gas station only serves coke cans?

Ok. Well, the vast majority of people I have met in a public scene (not the one I'm in now, because I recently moved), have been moderately to severely obese.

And these people are BEAUTIFUL people. I'm not going to apologize for getting frustrated with people who give up and quit. These people are supposed to be submissive to me? How are they supposed to take care of MY needs, when they have quit on themselves?

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:16:44 AM

Ninebelowzero

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OK mate just cool your jets a second. What are the ugly & obese supposed to do? Not go out, commit suicide, fade away?

Do you have any idea how fascistic your original post is?
I know a truly great Domme I mean a fucking awesome bundle of pleasure & pain who could reduce any sub to a puddle of pure bliss, she's morbidly obese because of thyroid cancer. Does she get out of the game? If she does then a hell of a lot of subbie's are going to miss out.

Man you got this so wrong on every possible level.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

Ok, ok, you guys all win. ;)

That's why I LOVE this community!! Because everyone who has a different viewpoint is SO accepted and not PERSONALLY attacked. I understand that I would be considered hideously gross to a LARGE percentage of the population. I'm cool with that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That is very true.

But I won't be politically corrected(ly) scolded for having my own opinion, even if it is vastly unpopular to yours.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:17:34 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I honestly knew that I would get these kinds of responses. And no, I won't back peddle. I know it's not a popular stance to take, and it sounds very harsh. I share how I'm feeling, and I won't apologize for that.

Thing is, I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. You are all entitled to have your opinion, and I won't insult you for having it.

I might be fat, but I've NEVER had trouble getting laid, D/s or no D/s.

Are there other people who feel the same way you do? Of course they are, but I wouldn't even spit on them if they were on fire. Their parents didn't raise them to look beyond the exterior and so I have no time, patience, or tolerance for them.

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Post #: 44

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:18:13 AM

SharedLife

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero perhaps more older peeps go out in scene because they are welcomed

Thats a valid point and might well explain in part - certainly I dont make a habit of going to nilla clubs as I dont relish feeling about 1000 - or arriving home deaf !

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Post #: 45

RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:19:24 AM

Fornica

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No, I wouldn't assume every gas station had coke cans just because the 4 *I* happened to stop into had them.
I tend to view the world as a bit bigger than my backyard.

You say

quote:

The simple fact of the matter, is that a LOT of the people in the scene are obese. In fact, the MAJORITY.

Wow. It's a FACT now? So you know all the people in the "scene"?
I stand corrected!

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:19:40 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I love how I am being thrown into a generalized class, just as I did in my original post!! Isn't that ironic?

Well now you know what happens when you throw shit into the wind. Some of it comes back and hits you in the face. Keep it up and you never will get rid of the smell.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:20:55 AM

Ninebelowzero

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I loves thishereboi.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:21:53 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I honestly knew that I would get these kinds of responses. And no, I won't back peddle. I know it's not a popular stance to take, and it sounds very harsh. I share how I'm feeling, and I won't apologize for that.

Thing is, I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. You are all entitled to have your opinion, and I won't insult you for having it.

Well Kudos for sticking to your guns, but the world is full of people who don't accept people based on appearance, including much of the corporate world, where employees are expected to reflect the values of the corporation, including marketability - I'm old enough to remember the first big media case of employment discrimination, it was a woman who worked at a car rental agency in an airport, fired because she had been doing it for 20 years and she was older and chunkier than when she first started.

I think she ended up winning, but it didn't matter, Hooters, the entire fashion and media industries, myriad industries where you have to interact with the public, none of them will touch you if you're "fat and ugly", and ditto for the vanilla dating world, where people are mercilessly rated on appearance. In BDSM you are pretty much guaranteed to be treated like a sexual object at least part of the time, regardless of how you look, we're very democratic that way.

So yes, that is attractive to a fairly broad demographic, including people who have gone their entire live without anyone ever treating them like a sexual object dammit.

So maybe it will help if you stop thinking of them as unattractive people and more like... people.

And, the young, pretty, Narcissistic fetishists often tend to segregate themselves, you apparently haven't been invited.

I don't know what to tell you except quit worrying about what everybody else is doing, there are plenty of fashion shows going on ever at fet if you're into modelling or something, CM is less about appearances, another "are all subs fat?" thread is an auto-pan.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:23:47 AM

Fornica

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I wasn't generalizing, I'm most definitely addressing YOU personally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

I love how I am being thrown into a generalized class, just as I did in my original post!! Isn't that ironic?

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:24:20 AM

bighappygoth39

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Joined: 10/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

Thank you SharedLife. I mean, goodness. I know that people get upset when you talk about appearance and weight, but...sometimes facts are facts.

And that's what gets people all upset. Believe it or not, I wasn't trying to be vicious. The simple fact of the matter, is that a LOT of the people in the scene are obese. In fact, the MAJORITY.

Now, they are beautiful people for sure, and there is someone out there for everyone. And all of that is fine.

Look at it this way....if you stopped at 4 gas stations on your way home from work, and every gas station you walked into ONLY served coke cans. Wouldn't the natural observation be that EVERY gas station only serves coke cans?

Ok. Well, the vast majority of people I have met in a public scene (not the one I'm in now, because I recently moved), have been moderately to severely obese.

And these people are BEAUTIFUL people. I'm not going to apologize for getting frustrated with people who give up and quit. These people are supposed to be submissive to me? How are they supposed to take care of MY needs, when they have quit on themselves?

And there you are, generalizing yet again.
I can only presume that all of the obese people you have met (being as you seem to think you know so much about obese people), fit the awful stereotypes?
If so, then fair enough, but if not, then I can only say that you are very wrong in thinking that someone who is obese has definitely given up on themselves.
You're not making yourself sound any better at all.

Edited to add that I tried to be as calm as possible while typing that...

< Message edited by bighappygoth39 -- 1/15/2012 7:26:34 AM >

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:25:42 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

It's simple, really. I just asked a question that was harsh. But I feel that the question is legitimate.

I am sure that there is a certain percentage of people who have gotten into this lifestyle with the mindset of: "I'll do anything you want me to as long as you show me attention."

I merely postulated that question. Obviously an unpopular question. But a legitimate question none the less.

And so, you do know, that neither of the people in your photo here are 'HOT!'.....right? I mean, seriously, the guy that just gave my three puppies their morning treat, is 48 years old and better looking. And not just to me. I know, I've heard it plenty and seen lots of seriously hot young women flirting with him, hitting on him. Especially when he's in his suit, or bike leathers.

The chick, she's okay, but I see wayyyyyyyy better looking on a daily basis.

And, at the end of the day, the reality is that they are both already at their prime. With that mindset, neither is going to get more hot than they already are......which as I've expressed is marginal at best.

Good luck to both of you. You will need it.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:26:43 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dscouple7383

These people are supposed to be submissive to me? How are they supposed to take care of MY needs, when they have quit on themselves?

First by getting them to give a shit about your needs in the first place.

Should it really surprise you that an environment of hedonism brings in the fat people?

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:27:03 AM

SinFix

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Thats the thing about generalizations, they come back to kick you in the ass...
Seeing how I am 40, does that make me too "old" to be in the scene
Seeing how I am a size 4, I don't fit your mold either
Seeing how I get asked out on dates just riding the metro, can I not get laid any other way than in this life...

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:27:48 AM

seekerofslut

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I was thinking I should make popcorn

, but in this instance perhaps I should go get me some Grecian 5 Minute and make a morning of it.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:28:11 AM

Dscouple7383

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Funny thing is, my better half just woke up and is upset with me too!! LOL

Of course, she agrees with me, but she said I didn't have to be so harsh.

So, apologize again for the harshness.

And by the way, I didn't single anyone out. I made obvious broad generalizations. Of course, that leads into debate.

I'm smarter than I look, believe me.

:)

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:28:29 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Same here Miss Gothy I could really let the dogs of their lead on this one.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:29:28 AM

Asherscorp1

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I enjoy that there are so many older people in the community in my area. We all benefit from the experience that they have to offer. Also, I think one of the above posters had it right when he said overweight or less attractive people probably feel more comfortable in the BDSM community than in the vanilla community, and I think that's great too. Everyone should be welcomed. That said, I am the youngest person in my lifestyle community by about ... 20yrs. There is one woman who is about my weight the rest have about 60-80lbs on me. Neither of these things is bad, what bothers me is the same thing the OP was mentioning, none of them TRY. They come to parties in dirty jeans, boots, looking like they just stepped off the ranch. In all fairness I could probably get past that if it weren't for the red-neck, old-school, country attitude and mannerisms they share which serve to make them even less appealing. Whatever, to each his own, but since Master and I hope to eventually find other people to play with (or even play nearby at the same function) it gets disheartening that there is pretty much zero attraction (physical/mental/social) to anyone in our community. I'm not going to say these people are less than us or need to change, they seem comfortable with who and what they are and how they present themselves, just saying, I somewhat understand the OP's position.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:29:51 AM

Fornica

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I love how now they are "beautiful people" when minutes ago they were cat puke and couldn't get their own dog to play with them.

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RE: BDSM out of necessity? - 1/15/2012 7:32:30 AM

JstAnotherSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I love how now they are "beautiful people" when minutes ago they were cat puke and couldn't get their own dog to play with them.

Well, I did go hang a porkchop around my neck.

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