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RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:16:28 PM

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I appreciate the advice.
Yes there has been some red flags in the relationship but my attraction to him is intense. I tried to end it a couple times but he pursued me and he is hard to resist.
I want to add I am a very attractive woman who has no problems getting men. I am not a frumpy desperate middle aged woman.
I could see where you think he is married but I assure you i know he is not. His work is public so knowing his background is very easy.
He has never said he was monogamous so I dont even expect that. This is not a lifestyle I pursued it pursued me.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:19:24 PM

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You're a grown woman, who makes choices.
If you want to continue in a sexless housecleaning position, go for it...but it wouldn't be close to enough for me personally. Especially knowing since he's not fucking me, chances are pretty good that he's getting it somewhere.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I tried to end it a couple times but he pursued me and he is hard to resist.

This is not a lifestyle I pursued it pursued me.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:22:00 PM

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He has a good thing going with you. Of course he's going to try to persuade you to stay.

Do you want him to love you? Clearly he does not.

(in reply to Fornica)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:22:54 PM

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quote:

He wants to collar me soon and told me to think about the words I want to say to him. He told me it would be "an intimidate ceremonious event" Could this mean he might finally have sex with me or please me in some way? I have spend the last 3 to 4 months being a superior slave after my decision I could live without him. I have spent alot of time trying to make up for the time I was an EXTREMELY DIFFICULT SUb to train. Giving him gifts, telling him how wonderful he is, being faithful etc.
I asked him once "WIll we ever have sex?" and he said I can not answer that. But also keep in mind he told me once he preferred worship over sex. I take my collaring very seriously and need some advice!!!! I dont think I can go without sex forever. I dont know how to approach questioning him either. He does not like excessive questioning. Thank you!

So, once a month you get the pleasure of traveling a long distance to his home to give him a blow job, clean, then leave?

He has never seen you naked?

You have never had an orgasm in his presence?

You two have never had intercourse?

You have never kissed?

Would you accept that treatment from a boy friend?

I had to look at your profile to see where you were from. My ex was almost that bad.. almost.. we kissed rarely, we had intercourse three times, but I was often naked and he always made me cum.

If you are asking these questions, you have already answered your own question.

I think what you want to know is.. will this ever change?

The answer is no. There is no reason to expect it will now.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:24:04 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I appreciate the advice.
Yes there has been some red flags in the relationship but my attraction to him is intense. I tried to end it a couple times but he pursued me and he is hard to resist.
I want to add I am a very attractive woman who has no problems getting men. I am not a frumpy desperate middle aged woman.
I could see where you think he is married but I assure you i know he is not. His work is public so knowing his background is very easy.
He has never said he was monogamous so I dont even expect that. This is not a lifestyle I pursued it pursued me.

Obviously your not happy... So why stay when your not happy? A lot of men are Smooth talkers and have the ability to spin a story very well..

Its simple, if your not happy dont stay, find someone who values you...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:28:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
I am not a frumpy desperate middle aged woman.

Then stop acting like it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:30:33 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

So, once a month you get the pleasure of traveling a long distance to his home to give him a blow job, clean, then leave?

I can so see the upside from his pov

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:32:00 PM

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Please confirm you meant "intimate" and not "intimidate"?
Because I can see one being a HUGE red flag
but honestly I wouldnt accept this from anyone ever, EVER.
even if I was a slave.
However.....different strokes for different folks, some dont need sex. If thats your choice, then I wish you well.
Id rather be dead than live with no sex
and blowing a dick isnt "my idea" of sex. My idea of sex is getting something from it beyond a sore jaw and a cuddle.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:32:48 PM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I appreciate the advice.
Yes there has been some red flags in the relationship but my attraction to him is intense. I tried to end it a couple times but he pursued me and he is hard to resist.
I want to add I am a very attractive woman who has no problems getting men. I am not a frumpy desperate middle aged woman.
I could see where you think he is married but I assure you i know he is not. His work is public so knowing his background is very easy.
He has never said he was monogamous so I dont even expect that. This is not a lifestyle I pursued it pursued me.

I hope you are using a condom when you are sucking him off then. STDs can be passed through oral sex too.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:33:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

As far as him getting it up........lol......he can twice in a brief visit.

Then obviously he simply doesn't care about you except terms of your usefulness to him. Thats the bottom line isnt it?
He sounds like a narcissist.
Just because there is a strong attraction doesn't mean it a healthy or right relationship. The man I had the strongest attraction to in my life was completely toxic and I spent too many years in a soul crushing relationship thinking that such a strong attraction must mean something.

With my whole heart I am telling you walk away from this one.
Build up your self esteem you are worthy of physical affection. Life is very very short and this guy isnt offering you enough at all.

Your online nic is "chatterbox" so I am assuming that your an extrovert by nature? Extroverts need to connect with people and are energised by them. I don't think you have looked hard enough because there are heaps of great guys out there that would LOVE to rip your clothes off and make you feel desired and connected and if thats what you need, enslaved. He is giving nothing of himself unless you count the sperm his finished with.

Sweetie..what the hell are you doing?!

Love Sea

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:34:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

So, once a month you get the pleasure of traveling a long distance to his home to give him a blow job, clean, then leave?

I can so see the upside from his pov

Dont make me show you the downside.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to crazyml)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:36:02 PM

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Joined: 1/22/2012
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No A one sided relationship will not last with me. SInce I am new to all this, I thought things might work differently and you had to prove yourself. He has definitely benefitted from the relationship and I have been left waiting for a change to occur. I thought this might happen with collaring and as the time approaches I had serious doubts. I needed to hear all this input and see I have been acting like a baboon. I think it is time to cut him off. I will have more money in the bank, lol. Thanks again!!!

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:36:45 PM

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Oh Lucy.. i had the sore jaw.. the sore ass.. the sore everything else.. and would lay there in a puddle of quivering slut flesh, whimpering as he would tell me to get some snacks.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:39:05 PM

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Joined: 7/24/2009
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Okay. Let me see if I have this straight.

You've been going out with this guy for two years. Maybe once or twice a month you go over to his place, pleasure him however he commands, then spend an hour or so cleaning, then leave. He pays no attention to your needs.

Now you're wondering if, after he collars you, things will change.

The answer is simple.

No.

If you need an expanded answer - he has the interaction he wants. He's the one in control. If he wanted anything different, it would be different. You've already stated to him numerous times that you wanted something different or weren't satisfied of whatever and he's ignored you completely and you've continued to serve him. This is your dynamic. It's been your dynamic for two years. It's not going to change. He's collaring you because he likes it and wants to keep it this way.

If you don't like it, then you need to leave because at this point - he's not going to believe a single word you say. If you do like it, well then, there's no problem, is there?

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:41:27 PM

SpiritedRadiance

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Joined: 3/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

No A one sided relationship will not last with me. SInce I am new to all this, I thought things might work differently and you had to prove yourself. He has definitely benefitted from the relationship and I have been left waiting for a change to occur. I thought this might happen with collaring and as the time approaches I had serious doubts. I needed to hear all this input and see I have been acting like a baboon. I think it is time to cut him off. I will have more money in the bank, lol. Thanks again!!!

A friendly word of advice, Wither it has a D/s M/s Polka Dot, quacking ducky, twisted penguin or whipped cream label... if it ends with Relationship, its just that a relationship, is a relationship, is a relationship regardless of its qualifer..

If he was vanilla would you put up with this?
If he never mentioned kink?

Do what makes you happy, there will be a few dozen guys into it...

Just relax, go to events real life, take your time, Learn.....

And we all make mistakes, just be happy yours has just been a waste of your time, and not your life, or several wonderful scars as reminders.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:42:35 PM

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Status: offline

My first introduction to being a sub was to an asshole who only cared about his wants and needs. When I tried to ask questions or talk about MY needs I was told I wasn't being a true/good sub. Thank GOD I finally got smart. His biggest mistake was the day he told me to bring him money when I next got paid and then laid out his plans to pimp me out in various ways. Boy am I glad I only wasted about 4 months of my life on that loser.

I hope, for you, that you get out soon. If you are not happy (which I infer from your OP), then you need to discuss this with him. Keep in mind that sub/slave does not mean robot. Your wants and needs do NOT go away because you submit to someone. Think about it like this, if you're having such a hard time leaving now, and you're not even collared, do you think it will be easier once you go through that ceremony? Also, WHY would he change once you're collared? At that point you've already agreed to do things his way and to be honest, it will probably only get more extreme once you let him collar you.

Just my little two cents worth. Take from it what you will.

ETA: Wait, now that I think about it, it was WAY longer than 4 months. *sigh* I really wish I could just wipe that whole episode from my mind, but I can't. That's probably good though, as it was really a learning experience for me.

< Message edited by tameeks -- 1/22/2012 7:04:46 PM >

(in reply to seababy)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:42:36 PM

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So, you don't know if he is or is not monogamous and are assuming he has other involvements with others/someone.

I don't know why you haven't just asked him: "Why don't you want to have intercourse with me?"

You are btw, having sex if you are giving him oral service.
And if he is non-monogamous and has other non-monogamous partners you are still at a risk of STDs.
People are getting oral and throat cancers from HPV.

Decide what you want.
If mutually satisfying sex is important to you then likely you are with the wrong person (unless he only has sex with people he has collared).

He may have a steady vanilla girlfriend and he sees intercourse and kissing as cheating.
Perhaps he saves intercourse for people he loves.

Perhaps he just isn't into intercourse and prefers oral; there is no mandate that says all men must like intercourse, even if it is perhaps a bit unusual.

Bottom line: ask him.
And then make decisions based on your new knowledge.

Figure out the pros and cons of staying vs moving on and see where your knowledge and wants fit into that.

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(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:43:34 PM

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Ah!

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:45:26 PM

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You know that saying that tells men to think with the big head instead of the little one? My friends and I have tweaked that a bit to fit us women, think with your head instead of your heart.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:47:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tameeks
If you are not happy (which I infer from your OP), then you need to discuss this with him.

I love your post, but I disagree with this.

If she wants to stop, she should:

1) Block his number on her phone, and install an app that blocks his text messages.
2) Block his emails.
3) Block him on Facebook.
4) Block him everywhere else, you get the point.
5) Throw up a profile on a couple vanilla dating sites, go out to dinner and shows where THE MAN PAYS, and get a good (or bad) fuck.

Physical contact with others, and no contact with him, is the way out here. Since he is "good at pursuing," if she wants this to end, she has to become unpursuable.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to tameeks)

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