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RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:47:26 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

SInce I am new to all this, I thought things might work differently and you had to
prove yourself.

Please don't let this one man ruin your opinion of others that call themselves Dominant.
If you feel there are some elements to this lifestyle that you would like to further enjoy,
perhaps you can find some local gatherings in your neighborhood to attend.
They are basically vanilla meetings at local restaurants and such..nothing too intimidating.
Here is one link for your area. Im sure google will find many more.
http://www.bdsmresourceguide.com/munchesandgroups.html#Illinois

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:48:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Oh Lucy.. i had the sore jaw.. the sore ass.. the sore everything else.. and would lay there in a puddle of quivering slut flesh, whimpering as he would tell me to get some snacks.

thats it tho Tazzy...with a sore ass, and sore everything else, youve more than gotton something out of it... but a blow job and gone? not more than once!
Being a puddle of quivering flesh is great...I love that part too much (leaving out the d/s bit completely) to live without it on purpose.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:50:31 PM

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quote:

thats it tho Tazzy...with a sore ass, and sore everything else, youve more than gotton something out of it... but a blow job and gone? not more than once!

Pft.. fuck em... if I dont cum... he aint cumming.. at least not around me

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Lucylastic)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:56:45 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: tameeks
If you are not happy (which I infer from your OP), then you need to discuss this with him.

I love your post, but I disagree with this.

If she wants to stop, she should:

1) Block his number on her phone, and install an app that blocks his text messages.
2) Block his emails.
3) Block him on Facebook.
4) Block him everywhere else, you get the point.
5) Throw up a profile on a couple vanilla dating sites, go out to dinner and shows where THE MAN PAYS, and get a good (or bad) fuck.

Physical contact with others, and no contact with him, is the way out here. Since he is "good at pursuing," if she wants this to end, she has to become unpursuable.

I agree totally and completely with you about blocking him. However, reading her OP and having myself been in that situation, I know it ain't always that easy.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 6:58:27 PM

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Oh man... I have missed seeing you post.
Brilliant advice.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:03:53 PM

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Thank you, Missokyst.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Missokyst)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:12:21 PM

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Sounds like a nightmare to me. There's no way I'd find a relationship like this fulfilling. As for him making it 'official', why? Why sign up for more of this garbage? You know what they say about expecting people to change, they don't, and then you are disappointed. Why waste more time in something that isn't doing all that much for you? Why go through the motion of being collared if you're not completely sold on him? It would be like getting engaged to someone you kind of like.

As others have said, you can do much better in finding a better match for yourself since this seems to leave you wanting. Sure you're attracted to him, do you think that won't happen again? I'm sure you'll find another who floats your boat and what good is the attraction if he's not boinking you? Kind of like seeing a great chocolate dessert in the bakery window and know you can't have it, I hate that. Go find a guy who makes you feel awesome instead of unsure and unfulfilled.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:17:22 PM

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Chatter you said he ives a public life so you know he's not married so I take it then you are publicly acknowledged as his girlfriend? If not then no guarentee he isn't married or engaged to someone else. And unless you've witnessed him on a lie detector you can never be sure thinks of all the rumors of movie stars or what congressmen have been able to hide and they are as public as possible. Bottom line are you willing to submit to that being your life otherwise wish h I'm well and move on a real bdsm relationship involves honesty and that includes discussing but persons wants and needs and agrees to them or there lying to themselves and the other person. Good luck in your choice.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:21:38 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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OP, it's like a vanilla relationship. Except you get to have kinky sex and negotiate whatever power exchange fulfills both of you.
Only one of you is fulfilled in this relationship. (and it's not you)
Be picky. Flirt. Have fun. Be picky some more.
There aren't many men like the ones who post in this forum, but look for ones who are like that.
Guys who are dominant/submissive (depending on what you want) intelligent, funny, (ok, that's what I like) interesting, moral, (add your list here)
Find someone who treats you like a princess. (sometimes it could be a fuck-toy cum-slut princess, but a princess all the same)
Find someone who can be your best friend, your lover, your dom and whatever else you need.
Don't wake up someday looking back on your life, remembering once a month blow jobs with no reciprical pleasure. (unless that's what makes you happy)
Everything you want you can find. But you have to hold out for someone who can and will give it to you.
Be picky.
Wait for what you want.
And do not listen to a word the guy you're seeing now says.
He will try to play it every which way. He's going to change. You got what you deserve and no one will give you better, etc.
Take RedMagic's advice and cut all ties.
Live YOUR life, not some stranger's.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:25:00 PM

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From: Kentucky
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Oh, and expect him to actually tell you what it is he really thinks about you when you finally stand up to him.
It won't be nice.
Be prepared and harden your heart.
He will try to break what he can no longer have.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:31:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh, and expect him to actually tell you what it is he really thinks about you when you finally stand up to him.
It won't be nice.
Be prepared and harden your heart.
He will try to break what he can no longer have.

Oh man ain't this the truth!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 7:42:22 PM

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From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tameeks

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh, and expect him to actually tell you what it is he really thinks about you when you finally stand up to him.
It won't be nice.
Be prepared and harden your heart.
He will try to break what he can no longer have.

Oh man ain't this the truth!

I may be singing to the choir, but I'll sing it loud...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to tameeks)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 8:16:31 PM

Posts: 173
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: tameeks

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Oh, and expect him to actually tell you what it is he really thinks about you when you finally stand up to him.
It won't be nice.
Be prepared and harden your heart.
He will try to break what he can no longer have.

Oh man ain't this the truth!

I may be singing to the choir, but I'll sing it loud...

LOL! Well I'll sing right along with you then!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 8:47:57 PM

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I'm not telling you to leave him as others have suggested. I can think of many reasons why he may not be having sex with you. Maybe he's gunshy from a last relationship and is a little insecure and wants to really get to know you first. Maybe it's part of his training to make you more obedient and understanding that his needs come before yours if you become his collared slave, or maybe he is married or just simply doesn't have a big interest in intercourse. I can think of many other reasons as well which is why I'm going to say to you....

Talk to him.

Yeah you asked him if you'd ever have sex but did you tell him how you feel? Did you ask him why he doesn't have sex with you?

To me it doesn't sound like you're very good at communicating, instead just expecting that he can either read your mind. Then again he doesn't sound all that communicative either if he hasn't given you any reason by now.

So my suggestion to you both is....talk....and then talk some more...and then even more. If you both can't do this then it's time for both of you to call it quits and then I'd suggest not getting involved with anyone at all until you learn this little part of a successful relationship.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to tameeks)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 9:13:29 PM

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Gun shy for two years? But lets her suck his dick? And if he doesn't "know her" after two years...what's it gonna take?
Uhm...I love ya Wonder, but...I can't go with that. (personally)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 9:22:24 PM

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I've known actually quite a few men like that. To them sucking dick is just casual but actual intercourse was much more intimate and they were extremely burned by their last relationship and were afraid to have sex for quite a few years, afraid to get intimate, afraid to get too close.

Or like I said, maybe he's exerting his dominance over her and part of his training.

Or...another one that just went through my mind...is he spiritual or religious? Is he a born again Christian? Maybe he's the type that waits till marriage (yeah I know a few of these...to them oral doesn't count lol).

She needs to talk to him and find out his reasons and then go from there. We can't decide for her.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 1/22/2012 9:24:32 PM >

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 9:45:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I've known actually quite a few men like that. To them sucking dick is just casual but actual intercourse was much more intimate and they were extremely burned by their last relationship and were afraid to have sex for quite a few years, afraid to get intimate, afraid to get too close.

Or like I said, maybe he's exerting his dominance over her and part of his training.

Or...another one that just went through my mind...is he spiritual or religious? Is he a born again Christian? Maybe he's the type that waits till marriage (yeah I know a few of these...to them oral doesn't count lol).

She needs to talk to him and find out his reasons and then go from there. We can't decide for her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I asked him once "WIll we ever have sex?" and he said I can not answer that. But also keep in mind he told me once he preferred worship over sex. I take my collaring very seriously and need some advice!!!! I dont think I can go without sex forever. I dont know how to approach questioning him either. He does not like excessive questioning. Thank you!

He sounds deliberately obtuse to me. Being with someone for two years and they still haven't got around to explaining why intercourse or even heavy petting isn't on the cards even after a direct question?

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 10:04:30 PM

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Looking at this from a male Dominant point of view, I actually find it hard to understand what is in his head.

I get that he likes you cleaning his house. I get that he likes blowjobs. I get that he wants to play with other women.

So far, so typically male.

But not wanting full intercourse, in every orifice you have? Not wanting to see you naked?

Sorry, that does not compute for me. Something isn't right here, especially when he talks about collaring you.

I don't trust a man who isn't in touch with his animal self.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 10:08:12 PM

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All I can say is we only have one side of the story and we don't know his and apparently neither does she since it sounds as if they aren't very communicative with each other. I'm not about to play the man-hating card just because he hasn't had sex with her.

Hell I haven't had sex in 6 months as part of Master's "Master plan" of discipline and training since I moved here. So I'm not ready to say that just because someone isn't having sex isn't a reason to kick them to the curb without further information first.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AnimusRex)

RE: Master does not want sex - 1/22/2012 10:33:49 PM

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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If sex is important to you, maybe you should ask yourself why you would become someone's property if you have no idea you will get some?

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I give good thread.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

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