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releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 1:39:03 PM

travelen11

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how do you release a slave? wave your hand in the air and say your released?mine will not go -tried cutting herself

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 1:40:42 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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If i had a partner who did that i'd call 911 and have picked up and taken to the ER as a danger to themselves, and then let them know the relationship is over. I suppose it sounds cruel but i would not be manipulated into staying in a relationship or to be made to feel guilty cause they decided to try to hurt themselves.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 4/25/2012 1:42:27 PM >

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 1:58:51 PM

travelen11

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I tried all of that but in her defence she does not work and this house is mine--although I bought her a new car,well used my credit to purchase it--she has no where to go it seems,so here she stays

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 1:59:38 PM

Lockit

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I would examine myself, motives and what has gone on in the relationship. If I were acting responsibly and compassionately, I would continue to do so. I wouldn't allow manipulation, but I would see that they got to the right mental health professional if I thought it necessary. You cannot assume what is done is done out of manipulation and could very well be something serious and we must consider that we may have had some role to play in it.

In any break up there are going to be good days and bad days. Someone may not handle it well and if we are reasonable, we have to take that into account.

I saw something in them to make them mine... now I need to see something in myself in distancing myself from them. Character, personal honor, accountability and compassion.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:01:43 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

I tried all of that but in her defence she does not work and this house is mine--although I bought her a new car,well used my credit to purchase it--she has no where to go it seems,so here she stays

Whoa... You allowed her not to work... You brought her into your home(?) and now you want her to go? Have you given her time to put her life back together? Or do you expect her to just leave... maybe in the car you bought her... that is paid off?

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:06:59 PM

poise

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You cared enough for her to take the necessary steps in having her move in with you
and become your slave. Now that you've had a change of heart, continue to care for
her by helping her take the necessary steps to be able to live indepenent of you.
Your lack of interest doesn't release you from being responsible in letting her go.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:22:26 PM

DesFIP

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Where did she live before you moved her in? Give her a ticket home and money to cover the salary she didn't get to earn in the time she lived with you.

Sell the car and give her what she should have saved in earnings over that time period. And next time, think further than what your dick is saying before you get into such a situation.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:23:47 PM

Alecta

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Did you decide to release her after she cut herself, or did she cut herself when you told her to go?

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:36:11 PM

RumpusParable

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I tell them I'm done with the relationship. If, as you describe OP, they threaten or act on harming themselves I suggest they get psychological help. I don't let them blackmail me into a relationship. It's over.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:39:26 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Where did she live before you moved her in?

I'm curious about this too.

quote:

Give her a ticket home and money to cover the salary she didn't get to earn in the time she lived with you.

Sell the car and give her what she should have saved in earnings over that time period. And next time, think further than what your dick is saying before you get into such a situation.

Pretty much this.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 4/25/2012 3:15:04 PM >

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:39:32 PM

RumpusParable

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As far as the "you moved her in with no income, therefor you are now responsible for her" tone going on here, what about some personal responsibility? She CHOSE not to work, she CHOSE to not have other places to go. That is all 100% on HER, not him. It is HER life and those were HER choices, therefor HER responsibility as an adult.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 2:42:53 PM

Lockit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

As far as the "you moved her in with no income, therefor you are now responsible for her" tone going on here, what about some personal responsibility? She CHOSE not to work, she CHOSE to not have other places to go. That is all 100% on HER, not him. It is HER life and those were HER choices, therefor HER responsibility as an adult.

I take it that they both agreed to the arrangement and now that arrangement needs a change. I don't flow with the I am victim routine, which the op seems to be playing fairly well and could match the person he is talking about. Adults get into things and adults should find a way to get out of them without doing harm over something they both agreed to.

Then again... she could have insisted on not working and he went with it or he could have insisted that she not work and now she is paying for it. A lot could have happened here... but bottom line, two agreed and now two need to work out a solution that doesn't hurt anyone overly much.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 3:02:14 PM

ladynlord

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I did not see anyone else ask, but did the two of you get married? Not so silly a question, because the answer could mean that there is a lot more owed than a bus ticket. Do the two of you meet any legal definition of common law spouses?
If the answer to both is no, then Poise said it best. There is more to owning a slave than convincing her to come live with you! More than providing for her while she is living with you! Slave ownership means RESPONSIBILITY, yes, it has it privileges, but it has duties too. And some of those duties continue even after the privileges end.

< Message edited by ladynlord -- 4/25/2012 3:03:56 PM >

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 3:18:24 PM

JanahX

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This is the type of shit that drives me nuts -
First off how long were you guys living together? Did you ever consider- or even better yet did she ever consider that one day you guys might split up and since everything is in your name, what the hell was she going to do for finances and where was it that she was going when it was done? Or did you just have it in your mind all along that you would just throw her in the street?

She should of known better - going into something and not making sure that if something happened that her ass wasnt covered.

Since all the facts arnt known here - Its hard to really tell you anything, except too bad, so sad.

quote:

ORIGINAL: travelen11

I tried all of that but in her defence she does not work and this house is mine--although I bought her a new car,well used my credit to purchase it--she has no where to go it seems,so here she stays

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 3:59:57 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Set her up with a place to live and some money and the rest is up to her?

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:04:39 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

As far as the "you moved her in with no income, therefor you are now responsible for her" tone going on here, what about some personal responsibility? She CHOSE not to work, she CHOSE to not have other places to go. That is all 100% on HER, not him. It is HER life and those were HER choices, therefor HER responsibility as an adult.

Sorry. You want the yummies for being in charge? You take the fricking responsibility when the shit hits the fan. Sure, she needs to have this little chat with someone, but not right this second. Some "M-type" wants to be all whoopy doo look at me, I've got someone to do my bidding! then he damn sure had better have the cajones to take responsibility for ... you know... the responsibility he took on. Less than that? We call those boys where I come from.

When she's re-established, somebody needs to have the big girl panties / there are wolves in that thar forest kind of chat with her.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:07:31 PM

sunshinemiss

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To the OP:
You make sure she has a home and an income. You make sure she has some counseling - both for the cutting behavior and for the grief that comes after a break up. You support her for at least a few months until she gets through her job's orientation period, she gets furniture in her home and the electricity is turned on, you make sure she has the ability to get around and take care of her needs - groceries, laundry, etc.

And then you examine yourself for having set up this dreadful situation in the first place.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:12:33 PM

MsSylverdawn

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See being in charge is about more than your sexual kinks and getting your needs met. Being in charge means you get to be the responsible asshole. Which means you have both an enterance and exit stragety. If you didnt want her to work then you needed to make sure you were putting enough aside to set her up if it didnt work out. That means a ticket to ride back to where she came from, enough for first and last rent while she looked for a job, money to tide her over for food and necessities.

You want to wear the big boy panties you got to pay the big boy price... sell the car... pay off the credit card if its not already and then use your line of credit to fix the fuck up you have created.

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:22:49 PM

Wantstocontrolu

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First off, she is a cutter- did you know this bringing her in?
My answer tho would depend on "time" how long has she been slave.
Was she truely a slave or an enabler/user?
Were you truely the Master or the pawn? or just a user taking advantage of a mentally ill person?

What did she give up to become your slave?
There is a moral obligation here as well, or maybe anyway.

We "here" do not know you, and are NOT good representitives to suggest an option.
My first answer is they are slave, take them to the nearest bus stop and kick them to the curb. But your situation may have been more then that to both of you.
According to your ad you are both in your 50's.
Sit down and talk a bit first...

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RE: releasing a slave - 4/25/2012 4:25:40 PM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wantstocontrolu

My first answer is they are slave, take them to the nearest bus stop and kick them to the curb. But your situation may have been more then that to both of you.

WOW. Thank you for the insight into the kind of person you are. Wow.

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