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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/19/2012 4:31:06 AM

YesDaddy12

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/14/2012
Status: offline

when you agree to IM with someone and the first time goes like this:

me: Hi!
him: Hi what?
me: bye!

Dom's who think they can Dom you right out of the gate.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/19/2012 1:50:26 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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What are you talking about? Of course they can dominate you right out of the gate!!!!!

Of course, you don't have to acept it.................................

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/20/2012 7:10:16 AM

temujin11

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/1/2011
Status: offline

For many female subs, I'm the worst dom they've ever met.

1) I don't have the face of a model and the body of a bodybuilder

2) I am extremely discreet

3) I do not have an expensive car

4) I know exactly what I want from a sub

5) I do not have a lot of money and a lot of time

There it is. I'm the worst dom....next subject.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/20/2012 8:00:08 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: temujin11

For many female subs, I'm the worst dom they've ever met.

1) I don't have the face of a model and the body of a bodybuilder

2) I am extremely discreet

3) I do not have an expensive car

4) I know exactly what I want from a sub

5) I do not have a lot of money and a lot of time

There it is. I'm the worst dom....next subject.

Considering that you apparently think all subs are shallow, gold diggers......probably.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/20/2012 8:19:53 AM

zubedangina

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: risktaker9

"stupid slut, are you truly ready to live this life. I take sluts like you and destroy them. you will be broken down mentally, and turned into a worthless piece of fuckmeat. you will be humiliated and degraded for the rest of your life. you are a worthless cunt , only good for licking my ass"

So there you have it Not sure why so many of these Dominants refuse to capitalize and use punctuation. Maybe it's a sign of weakness or something.

I got that exact same word for word message two days ago, from some person.

The Dom who has been cmailing me lately, is someone who has had a profile for only a couple of months, he sent me an email that said he was very sorry I was living with my husband now. I said, that's old news, I moved back in with him two years ago. And now he's been sending me whine-y emails saying that he has been waiting for me for two years and I knew he was interested in me and why did he wait all that time if I was still going to tell him I didn't want a relationship. I told him that I had no idea who he was and his profile wasn't that old so where did I know him from. Then he gave me a different id, and I said oh yea, I remember you. I told you I didn't want a relationship, never told you to wait for me, sounds like your own fault. After remembering his screen name I remembered all of the conversations we had where fake subs broke his heart and he whined about it for hours because all women are evil. I can't wait to rush to his waiting arms! (sarcasm)

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/20/2012 10:30:05 AM

lilmissdefiant

Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

I love this thread

My worst Dom ever...there's only be 4 but lets stick with the funniest one,
We were doing a bondage scene and despite him reassuring me before hand that he was "an expert" and he knew "exactly what he was doing"
Half way through I'm tied up in a hogtie, comfy as hell, happy as anything, out of the blue he starts asking me over and over again if I'm ok, to which i reply "I'm all good" this goes back and forth for about 5 minutes until he says "You can use your safeword if you want to" I'm like

completely ruined my headspace, anyhow we continued until he said, "sorry I can't do this" and untied me, saying that he was way out of his depth

headdesk repeatedly lol
I've since found better lol

< Message edited by lilmissdefiant -- 9/20/2012 10:33:01 AM >

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He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/21/2012 6:59:38 PM

dea2542

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/2/2012
From: Bellflower, CA
Status: offline

the worst so called "Dom" i ever met was actually my first experience in the lifestyle ever. i met him thru an ad i had placed online. we began emailing & instant messaging for a few weeks. he said all the right things & i soon felt comfortable enough to meet in person. he said out first meeting would be in a public place, to see if there was a mutal attraction & to see if we wanted to continue. if we both agreed to continue, then we would discuss the 'details' as far as rules, protocol, what he expected, what i expected, etc.
so, we met at mcdonalds (very public). i arrived first & was sitting in a booth in the corner, so i saw when he entered. he was very nicely dressed, very professional looking, clean shaven, manicured nails ~ so far so good. he walkes up to the table & says, "let's go for a drive so we can talk privately." i say ok. we walk to his car ~ a nice car. he's very soft spoken, appears to be a successful businessman, very well mannered & polite. so far so good.
so, were driving along, he's asking the standard questions ~ how long have i known of my submissiveness? why do i want to be a slave? do i think i can handle it? etc, etc. he gets on the freeway & we're still talking (i'm getting a little nervous). we drive about 20 minutes, he exits the freeway & says he needs to stop by his office to pick up some papers, it'll just take a minute. (still a little nervous but i'm kool).
we pull up in front of 'his office' ~ it's like 8 or 9 pm, no one is around. from the outside everything looks "normal". there's other business around, although closed. so he parks by the front door & i figure i will wait in the car but he comes around opens my door & says he wants to show me his business. ok, kool. he unlocks the door, motions me in first. it's dark but i can see a little reception area, so i relax a bit. he guides me toward another closed door. as i get closer, i see his name on the door (ok, this must be his office). i figure we'll go in, he'll grab whatever we came for & we'll leave ~
so, he opens the door, i walk in, it's dark, i hear him close & lock the door. he turns on the light ~ i almost shit . . . . he's basically got a dungeon/bedroom/living room in there!!!
suddenly, he is a different person. he grabs me by the back of my head & sits me down on the couch. he is no longer soft spoken, now he is yelling at me. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES & SOCKS! i do. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES & HURRY UP!! i do. i'm standing there naked, TURN AROUND SLOWLY!! i do. BEND OVER THE BACK OFF THE COUCH!! i do. as i'm doing these things, he's inspecting every inch of me. LAY ON YOUR STOMACHE ON THE COUCH!! i do. he starts hitting my ass, my legs, my back, the bottom of my feet with something hard and leather. COUNT OUT LOUD AFTER EVERY HIT!! he stopped at 20.
he cuffed my hands behind my back, stands me up, pushed me towards the bed. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE MY SLAVE? i say yes sir. he hits me across my legs & says FROM NOW ON YOU CALL ME MASTER DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? i say yes master.
he blindfolds me, hogties me & for the next three hours "shows me what it's like to be his slave" . . . .

(in reply to YesDaddy12)

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/21/2012 10:57:17 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

dea,
I hope that hour 4 was spent in the police station taking out a rape complaint.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 9:56:29 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dea2542
he walkes up to the table & says, "let's go for a drive so we can talk privately." i say ok. we walk to his car ~ a nice car. he's very soft spoken, appears to be a successful businessman, very well mannered & polite. so far so good.

Why would you get into a strangers car?

quote:

we drive about 20 minutes, he exits the freeway & says he needs to stop by his office to pick up some papers, it'll just take a minute. (still a little nervous but i'm kool).

And you didn't see that as a red flag?

quote:

so, he opens the door, i walk in, it's dark, i hear him close & lock the door. he turns on the light ~ i almost shit . . . . he's basically got a dungeon/bedroom/living room in there!!!
suddenly, he is a different person. he grabs me by the back of my head & sits me down on the couch. he is no longer soft spoken, now he is yelling at me. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES & SOCKS! i do. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES & HURRY UP!! i do. i'm standing there naked, TURN AROUND SLOWLY!! i do. BEND OVER THE BACK OFF THE COUCH!!

Why did you go into a private area with a stranger?

quote:

i do. as i'm doing these things, he's inspecting every inch of me. LAY ON YOUR STOMACHE ON THE COUCH!! i do. he starts hitting my ass, my legs, my back, the bottom of my feet with something hard and leather. COUNT OUT LOUD AFTER EVERY HIT!! he stopped at 20.
he cuffed my hands behind my back, stands me up, pushed me towards the bed. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE MY SLAVE? i say yes sir. he hits me across my legs & says FROM NOW ON YOU CALL ME MASTER DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? i say yes master.
he blindfolds me, hogties me & for the next three hours "shows me what it's like to be his slave" . . . .

Why did you do those things? Why didn't you say "no"?

You can blame him all you want, but you went along with him every step of the way. You hold as much of the fault as he does. You need to learn to use your head and do some thinking about personal safety.

Let me also add: There was a string of violent rapes in the Los Angeles area that were done by a man posing as a Dominant in an online chat room. They were done in his car in a dark parking lot at a Starbucks. (8 rapes in 6 months, he was on parole for rape and assault)

There is no point in meeting at public place for safety, if you're going to get into his car the moment you meet him.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/22/2012 10:07:03 AM >

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 10:01:52 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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I agree. As much as that's not stuff I'd be cool with at the first meeting, he had no reason to think you weren't cool with it. You didn't say no at any point. You did what he told you, and you called him 'Master'. All of that pretty heavily implies consent to me.

I know sometimes we act out of fear but in the situation you described... it sounds like he thought you were on the same page. It was sneaky to take you to his bedroom without telling you, but for all you know if you had said 'no' or 'I'm not ready for this' he might have stopped immediately.

You've got to act in your own best interests.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 10:10:29 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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I agree. When he asked you immediately "if you can handle it", that was an immediate red flag. I would have said, Handle what?

You also took your own car and yet got into his car. You never said no (from your description here) and you went along with everything. Did he have a gun or knife on you?

You really have to take responsibility for your own actions.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 3:43:22 PM

temujin11

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/1/2011
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Unfortunately, many of the subs I've met have been like that.

(in reply to peppermint)

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 5:41:56 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dea2542

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE MY SLAVE? i say yes sir. he hits me across my legs & says FROM NOW ON YOU CALL ME MASTER DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? i say yes master.
he blindfolds me, hogties me & for the next three hours "shows me what it's like to be his slave" . . . .

Funny thing, consent is. Because you said "yes", this was hot. Maybe not relationship material, but certainly a hot one night stand. Because you said "yes", I thought, until I noted the next 2 replies, that you were goofing when you said "the worst dom" and reread the post. I'm actually still not sure how you feel about the encounter, and for that I apologise.

(in reply to dea2542)

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 8:14:52 PM

dea2542

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/2/2012
From: Bellflower, CA
Status: offline

i actually enjoyed the encounter ~ that wasn't the problem. the way he talked to me & his attitude toward me made me feel he thought i was trash. he just seemed very angry. always asking me how many people i had fucked since him & all i do is talk to other guys online while i was talking to him & all i do is watch pornos and play with myself & always saying i need punished & what i thought or said didn't matter. he would ask me a question, i would answer it & he would say shut your fucking mouth. then he would ask a question, i wouldn't answer (cuz he just told me to shut my mouth) & he would say answer me bitch now you will be punished!!??
but the experience was great ~ i still get turned on when i think about it!!

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 9:06:10 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
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so it had absolutely nothing to do with that first date and was just the person he revealed himself to be AFTERWARDS?
thanks for clearing that up lol now I'll sleep better feeling less guilty about enjoying that scene :p

(Edited for typos)

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 9:10:42 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dea2542

i actually enjoyed the encounter ~ that wasn't the problem. the way he talked to me & his attitude toward me made me feel he thought i was trash. he just seemed very angry. always asking me how many people i had fucked since him & all i do is talk to other guys online while i was talking to him & all i do is watch pornos and play with myself & always saying i need punished & what i thought or said didn't matter. he would ask me a question, i would answer it & he would say shut your fucking mouth. then he would ask a question, i wouldn't answer (cuz he just told me to shut my mouth) & he would say answer me bitch now you will be punished!!??
but the experience was great ~ i still get turned on when i think about it!!

Oh, goody for you. You enjoyed the encounter and fooled some of us by posting in the Worst Dom thread instead of Great One Night Stands I Had thread.

Isn't that special.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/22/2012 9:34:01 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Ok, I'm soooooo confused. Give the guy all of the consent he could possibly have from you and you call him a bad dom??? eerrr....wtf??? Dude, you make zero sense. Sorry, I feel bad for the dom and not you. I mean you sound like one of these women who consent to sex but because she didn't like it or he said something she didn't like, she now accuses him of rape...even though he never did such a thing at all.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/22/2012 9:35:03 PM >

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/23/2012 4:02:00 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

This is probably more funny than offensive to me and if any sub is interested in his deal, I am happy to give contact haha.

Dom: i want you to be absolutely submissive and let me do anything to you. deep throat, swallow my cum, drink my piss, eat my shit, fuck and fist your pussy and ass and be available when i want you to. thats what a good sex object is like, fulfill every dirty dream.

Me: Can I get a Condominium and a Lamborghini thrown in, in return?

Dom: we can talk about that if i will have the key to the condo to come by and fuck you anytime i want and if you use the lambo to drive wherever i want you to for a good fuck. thats gonna be a longtime commitment for you - can you ahndle that?

Me: Sorry, my kinks are just not that deep, I wish you well.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/23/2012 8:42:38 AM

ghostriver

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/20/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dea2542

so, he opens the door, i walk in, it's dark, i hear him close & lock the door. he turns on the light ~ i almost shit . . . . he's basically got a dungeon/bedroom/living room in there!!!
suddenly, he is a different person. he grabs me by the back of my head & sits me down on the couch. he is no longer soft spoken, now he is yelling at me. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES & SOCKS! i do. TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES & HURRY UP!! i do. i'm standing there naked, TURN AROUND SLOWLY!! i do. BEND OVER THE BACK OFF THE COUCH!! i do. as i'm doing these things, he's inspecting every inch of me. LAY ON YOUR STOMACHE ON THE COUCH!! i do. he starts hitting my ass, my legs, my back, the bottom of my feet with something hard and leather. COUNT OUT LOUD AFTER EVERY HIT!! he stopped at 20.
he cuffed my hands behind my back, stands me up, pushed me towards the bed. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN BE MY SLAVE? i say yes sir. he hits me across my legs & says FROM NOW ON YOU CALL ME MASTER DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? i say yes master.
he blindfolds me, hogties me & for the next three hours "shows me what it's like to be his slave" . . . .

It seems to me like a fantasy of yours. Add a nice car and him being a successful and a professional businessman.. Sounds way too much like "50 Shades". I mean.. Honestly? A dungeon with BDSM stuff instead of a remote place which you couldn't remember? And he fulfills your darkest fantasies and lets you go?

I can't know for sure, but I'm risking a guess because even if it's true then you liked it and I'm not hurting you by questioning whether the sad and damaging story about the worst Dom in your life is fake.

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RE: The worst Dom you've ever met - 9/23/2012 11:22:44 AM

DomDaddy155

Posts: 25
Joined: 4/9/2006
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Wow, I truly feel bad for the horrible experiences that many of you have had. Suddenly I don't feel so bad about some of the bonehead mistakes I've made while learning the ropes. About 80% of my Dom/sub relationships started out as vanilla, but then discovered my partner wanted to be tied up, or tie me up. This was long before I felt Dominant, or even knew what that implied. Sexually, I've always enjoyed being in control. The few times that I did switch with a GF, all I could think about was how to escape from the ropes, rather than just enjoying it. There was already a relationship and trust established before we ever got into bdsm play. Trying to meet total strangers on a site like this, where probably at least 80% of both Doms and subs are faking it, it can be terribly confusing and very easy to overstep boundaries that one should never cross with a total stranger. I have found that the best way to avoid these pitfalls is to rely on common sense. Just because someone is a sub or a slave, that doesn't give the interested Dom(me) license to treat them as less than an equal before consent is given. Even when it is given, it's always best to temper your Dominance with some compassion and understanding. As a Dom(me), you can't demand submission or respect, you have to earn it.

This a really great thread with some very enlightening comments. I would recommend that every Dom(me), both new and experienced, read this and learn from it.

< Message edited by DomDaddy155 -- 9/23/2012 11:24:23 AM >

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