RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really?

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 6:55:41 PM

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Do you honestly think I did not already know the answer before I asked the question. It was a retical question... intended to start a discussion about overly guarded portion of women and maybe... just maybe to show the small possibility that there are actually normal men here.

Why is it so necessary for some of you to beat this thing down to a small personal issue that I am supposedly having.

No, this is not about me. No, this is not about all women in general.

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 6:58:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirVVV

How is one to prove that he is normal.... even before you hear them out?

I'm just trying to piece together everything you are saying. There are women who tout the subject line in their profiles and you are asking how someone who is not an asshole should approach them after reading the profile?

Am I getting the question?

If so, my answer follows and if not, can you 'splain it again, Lucy. Type slow and use small words please.

Okay.. question: How to approach a woman who thinks all men are assholes.

Answer: Slowly, while on your knees and bearing gifts. I recommend the gift of laughter.

That was the way I understood it. But, my response is different. Why would a guy want to be with a woman that is bitter enough to think that all men are assholes? Seriously, talk about making your life way more difficult than it needs to be.

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:14:30 PM

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quote:

I don't think that's the best solution. I read your original post, and all the others you made. I don't know if English is not your first language or what, but I have trouble understanding your posts. Not because they're to deep or anything, but because your ideas are not clearly written or organized. Honestly, I feel your time would be better spent working on your communication skills

Wow... I could almost understand why people would confuse the original issue with my personal experience, since I have described it from my own point of view. However, above patronizing comment is way over the top.

Obviously I have not been able to cummunicated my thought clearly, failed at starting a discussion about a genuine issue, since it turned into rant about nothing other than me personally....

So, with that in mind, I am checking out of this conversation. Maybe I'll go work on my communication skils, as "Dunamis2009" has so kindly suggested. Perhaps go learn a 5th language while I am at it... apearently being fluent in 4 languages has not provided with enough eloquence to please the members of this forum.

Thank you for such a lovely welcome to this communtiy and Good Bye.

(in reply to gungadin09)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:17:14 PM

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No, all men are not assholes. Many women are assholes. Nearly all men AND women have assholes (even if they won't tell you so) Most men AND women have some truely spectacular asshole moments. I believe you have now had yours. Move along.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:21:45 PM

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Given the volume of sock puppets and scammers one has to wade through to find actual women to talk to around here (on the flipside). It's hardly surprising that a lot of women view all men as assholes.

I'm a guy, looking for a girl, and I'm starting to hate all other men. Even when I find an actual woman (yes, I exaggerate), I have to hope that my message somehow stands out in the flood of "On ur knees, slut" messages in women's in boxes. I'm competing for time and space with a bunch of assholes who don't even have any grand plan other than being an internet asshole.

(in reply to SirVVV)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:23:54 PM

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Joined: 7/9/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirVVV

quote:

I don't think that's the best solution. I read your original post, and all the others you made. I don't know if English is not your first language or what, but I have trouble understanding your posts. Not because they're to deep or anything, but because your ideas are not clearly written or organized. Honestly, I feel your time would be better spent working on your communication skills

Wow... I could almost understand why people would confuse the original issue with my personal experience, since I have described it from my own point of view. However, above patronizing comment is way over the top.

Obviously I have not been able to cummunicated my thought clearly, failed at starting a discussion about a genuine issue, since it turned into rant about nothing other than me personally....

So, with that in mind, I am checking out of this conversation. Maybe I'll go work on my communication skils, as "Dunamis2009" has so kindly suggested. Perhaps go learn a 5th language while I am at it... apearently being fluent in 4 languages has not provided with enough eloquence to please the members of this forum.

Thank you for such a lovely welcome to this communtiy and Good Bye.

I am truly sorry you took that statement in that way. I will admit freely that I made a connection between your posts and those of others on other forums who were not native English speakers.

That being said, communication *is* a two-way street. If I don't understand what you're saying, we're both at fault. You've had to clarify your statements in later posts, just like I'm attempting to clarify mine now.
I can give some examples in your writing that I had to look deeper into to be able to understand what you were saying if you wish.

I would definitely hate to be the reason why you left this community, but I'm *not* giving up my right to say that I had trouble understanding your points.

(in reply to SirVVV)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:34:16 PM

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I must have read his post differently than everyone else...I thought he was talking about the women on the other side that complain about men being assholes but can't understand why they can't find anyone.

And if not, well then you have a totally great example of A.D.D. lol

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(in reply to Dunamis2009)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 7:55:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
Between this and your "hoards of angry subs" comment on another thread, and because I respect you, I'm going to start looking to see if I can find what you're seeing.

I think the "hoards of angry subs" comment may have been unfair -- I'm tentatively chalking that up to nicotine withdrawal although I was definitely reacting to something... overplayed or not.

The rest of it shows up in lots and lots of ways... most of which are invisible because they are embedded in the culture. You'd have to look very hard to see them. It's similar to the problem the feminist movement faced trying to tackle cultural stereotypes. In general I'd say that the stereotype of females has become a lot more nuanced as a result of feminism. We no longer consider women to be flighty little creatures unable to sustain rational thought. Yet the same 50's stereotypes for males remain. Honestly sometimes I'm amazed that as a male I can tie my shoes in the morning and get food in my mouth. It's also somewhat astonishing that I can navigate through my day meeting lots and lots of women and have no particular interest in fucking any of them.

If you really want to go looking I applaud that. But you're going to really need to look diligently to look past the culturally reinforced ideas. If you'd like, I'll go ahead and post replays of various comments as they come up with genders reversed and we can see how that goes. How about this for starters...

80% of men just want to fuck whatever they can fuck.
80% of women are gold digging whores who just want to get a comfortable standard of living.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 8:25:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
"hoards of angry subs"

Would that I had a hoard of subs, angry or other wise...

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 8:25:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirVVV

LadyPact

This does give me a clear perspective... not a pleasent one, but clear one none the less. Perhaps my absence from a dating seen has made me forget all the not so pleasant attributes of online presentse.

It's somewhat similar to the threads that get started where people (usually males) want to discuss the topic of why they don't get answers to their email. You phrased it in a different way, but if what I said in My earlier reply connects for you, it may be a similar issue.

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(in reply to SirVVV)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 8:37:44 PM

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Wow you just keep digging yourself deeper and deeper. Overly guarded portion of women? May this chart help you understand why -? You really dont get it. I wonder how many women here have been a victim in one way or another by a man? A husband, father, boyfriend, employer - ? You must be living one hell of a sheltered life - full of rainbows and u-nee-corns.

No one has claimed that there arnt normal men here. Only you have.

and my apologies to Pam for my snark - this guy is extremely way off base.

This chart from the National Institute of Justice appears to show that women are about three times more likely to be physically assaulted by their partners than men.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirVVV

Do you honestly think I did not already know the answer before I asked the question. It was a retical question... intended to start a discussion about overly guarded portion of women and maybe... just maybe to show the small possibility that there are actually normal men here.

Why is it so necessary for some of you to beat this thing down to a small personal issue that I am supposedly having.

No, this is not about me. No, this is not about all women in general.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by JanahX -- 7/20/2012 8:56:47 PM >

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to SirVVV)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 8:54:01 PM

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quote:

If you really want to go looking I applaud that. But you're going to really need to look diligently to look past the culturally reinforced ideas. If you'd like, I'll go ahead and post replays of various comments as they come up with genders reversed and we can see how that goes. How about this for starters...

80% of men just want to fuck whatever they can fuck.
80% of women are gold digging whores who just want to get a comfortable standard of living.

Are you saying that you've seen these comments here? Or that they are prevalent attitudes here?

I think I may have seen one poster use the first one. In P&R, I'll ask for sources, but out here when a stat is clearly pulled out of the air, I don't bother, but maybe I should.

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(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 9:18:56 PM

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The first one was posted here (not exactly verbatim but close enough). It was generally accepted. The second is my rewording of it to fit the corresponding [old] female stereotypes. My point (hopefully) is that while the first of this doesn't really get much attention the second would be an all out war.

edited to add If I only saw such things here I'd simply find it an amusing peccadillo of the BDSM community. What makes it a bit more pressing is that you see this crap everywhere.. mass media.. random conversations overheard in restaurants. Heck, even my own mother. Carol just told me that she recently read a Time magazine article where the reviewer spent a half a column complaining about it.

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 7/20/2012 9:25:54 PM >

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 9:28:18 PM

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Ok . . . that's most of what I did last night. so what?

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 9:41:34 PM

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quote:

The first one was posted here (not exactly verbatim but close enough). It was generally accepted. The second is my rewording of it to fit the corresponding [old] female stereotypes. My point (hopefully) is that while the first of this doesn't really get much attention the second would be an all out war.

Point taken. I saw that and did not comment, but did let the cat fur fly in response to your "hoards of angry subs" comment.

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(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 9:57:17 PM

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Was it done because you do it out of anger? - done because you are out of control?

< Message edited by JanahX -- 7/20/2012 9:58:53 PM >

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The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 10:02:38 PM

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quote:

But you're going to really need to look diligently to look past the culturally reinforced ideas.

What 'culturally reinforced ideas'? Cultures are made up of individuals. It is my belief that if we question those generic 'ideas', try to look at people as idiosyncratic, rather than the culture in which they reside, we will gain better understanding in diversity. A few years ago there was a debate in these forums on political correctness. I say it is better to go a bit overboard on PC than to be insensitive to any “other-ness”.

Some of your recent statements seem to be throw away comments with an undertone of bitterness. Perhaps I am reading too much into these comments of yours, and perhaps because I like/respect you, your words disappoint me.

I have tried to analyze why I react so strongly. I think in part it is because your thoughts expressed in this vein are exactly the same mind set as the female POV that you hold in such contempt..

Certainly we all have our own prejudices. I am wondering, though, if prejudice can be fought effectively with our own biases; or are we better served by attempts to curb our inclination to blame any one gender (race, sexual orientation, religion, disability) for all (or most of) that is wrong in this world?

< Message edited by catize -- 7/20/2012 10:05:12 PM >

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 10:19:15 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Ok . . . that's most of what I did last night. so what?

In my house we call this foreplay

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 10:28:21 PM

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No not all men are assholes and usually when I hear a woman say that it means she's been recently hurt or still hanging on to her bitterness from a past relationship and hasn't been able to move on yet.

When I hear a man say it, he's usually saying it to get into a girl's panties.

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Everything has changed

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RE: All men are assholes!!!..... Really? - 7/20/2012 10:28:36 PM

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In your house, Kana, you have consent.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Kana)

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