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RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 9:59:03 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Dear artglfr, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In the art of teasing, it does come to be, that some individuals are not able to take teasing as well as giving.  Some can tease back and forth and all have a lovely time of it.
 
If there were several highly respected dominants included into the teasing, the social clique and such is rather powerful, as people desire to be accepted and often do things that they aren't ready to do and makes it a sour experience.  Afraid to say no or self imposed attitude towards it all, then perhaps asking a dominant to advocate for her and or him is wise.  Since text posts lack the ability to show the glimmer of the teasing twinkles in your eyes and the giggles and grins of others, it can be understood that it could have been taken so many ways.
 
As far as I know, the change of status of a Dominant/slave, such as from unattached to attached is often posted as an announcement.  But, there is no absolute rule that it must be done. 
 
However, if I was under the same circumstances, where a submissive and or slave has a protector, mentor, dominant, trainer, etc., I would approach the person designated as the protector and talk about the situation and what caused this sudden need to be protected.  Perhaps, it was coincidental timing, to which a relationship was budding in a discreet manner that the tease of a group of dominants moved the dominant that the relationship was forming, into action--being how suddenly popular he/she was.
 
I would wonder if you (in most general of terms), would be curious as to know why there was the sudden appearance of a protector.  I certainly would be curious.  The reason why, is that if I teased someone as to frighten them, I would want to be the first to apologize.
I would also want to learn how the person came to be, so intimidated by teasing or such, as to communicate the boundary to which you and or the group operate in.  My personal desire is to make it so that the person that I frightened or such, to be given a measure of comfort that they are indeed worth concern and respect; as well as given the tools to cope with any future incidents that might cause a 'knee jerk' reaction.  I am sure that you are a kind sort, to which hopes that all that come past your sight, knows that you really care and love to share the joy, the fun and humor of the lifestyle.  Perhaps that needs to be said to those involved, as they were unable to see it and, perhaps a bit hurt that others saw you as a threat, as it is against your nature.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 10:14:51 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline
My sentiments exactly, Crappy....

as for the "protected" one... she'd be lucky to get a dirty look at the play party from Me... letalone a "hi, howya doin tonite" or anything else in the future.

I hope she dearly loves that protector... cause it sounds like she's lost quite a few potential friends.

T.R.

_____________________________

Never explain~~Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you

I'm sorry if I've offended you.... but maybe you needed to be offended

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 12:32:01 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
TC,

That wasn't quite what I meant, I guess I wasn't clear enough.  I figure those people are a train wreck waiting to happen and I keep my distance.  If they ask for advice, I give it, and I wouldn't snub them at a party.

Like red flags and risks, they are potentials not realities.  They may turn out to have made great choices, they may emerge to be great additions to the scene, but just in case, I keep my distance till it becomes clear which side they end up on.

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 1:11:21 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline
If I have wings of steel does that make me BatFink? 

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 3:23:45 PM   
kiska


Posts: 160
Joined: 11/17/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiska
I think there are immature and ridiculous ways to present the concept of Protection. I'm sorry but online protectors make no sense to me. Its online ... If you don't have the balls to turn off the computer then you probably shouldn't be involved in human interaction of any kind; let alone BDSM. For a real life thing though, especially for someone new and uncertain, I think a Protector can be a wonderful thing.

So why do you to tell people online that they simply lack balls, but it's not ok for me to tell people offline that they simply lack basic adult skills?

Sorry, but submissives don't get a "pass" on responsibility just because of some bs about "pleasing natures."  This is what feeds into everyone saying that subs can't take care of themselves, that subs ARE weaker, that subs are NOT mature adults.

More than a few people in the scene are more than willing to play into that idea. 

There simply is no reason for a mature responsible adult to need protection in the bdsm scene.  If they feel they do, it's because they refuse to take responsibility and make the right choices for themselves.

If they are UNABLE to make the right choices for themselves, how can say it's ok for them to choose a protector for themselves?

I rail against it.


I still disagree, for the same reasons I listed above.

As to online versus real time ... Online no one can force me sit here and read the words being typed out. In real time, it is highly conceivable that a submsisive could be forced to do something they don't want to do ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiska

At one point I was informed that submissives do NOT under ANY circumstances attend certain BDSM events *without* a dominant escort as protection. It was never presented to me as if it to say that the submissive was not capable of making adult decisions; it was more like a nod to his/her innate desire to be pleasing at all times and it allowed the submissive to enjoy themselves more fully and not have to be so 'on guard' about every little thing they do or say at the event.



I've been informed that the Holocaust never took place and that non-white races are inherently inferior.  Folks are ready to "inform" folks about a lot of things that are just downright silly.  You heard another one.


There are so many better ways to have said that, its not even funny.

Anyway ...

I get the whole "safewords are stupid, protectors are ridiculous, throw out SSC" thing ... I do ...That should be the anthem of collarme.

Gawd.

This is the ONLY place I have ever encountered that attitude ...

But I guess if I'm going to hang out on these forums I better swallow it like a good girl and start bobbing my head in agreement with the masses.

_____________________________

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue ...

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 3:43:21 PM   
trippingdaisy


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiska
But I guess if I'm going to hang out on these forums I better swallow it like a good girl and start bobbing my head in agreement with the masses.


No, you shouldn't.

People, this is rediculous. SO much of this place is "this is the only way it can be done!"...and that's just bull. When i was introduced to the lifestyle, SSC was not something that was a 'trend', it made sense to me. Safe. Sane. Consentual. Especially when starting out, THAT helped me make some smart decisions, when my hormones were telling me, 'That's dangerous, but man that looks fun! Who cares if i don't know that person at all??'

The fact of the matter is, EVERYONE is going to be different. i swear, if everyone could be like LadyHugs, i'd rejoice. She's amazing. It doesn't matter if she agrees or disagrees, she is always, always respectful and courteous when addressing it. i'm not understanding where being on the internet means "I can disregard everone else's opinions, because mine is always right". That's not how the world works.

There are respectful ways of addressing things, and there are hurtful, disrespectful ways. i learned one way, in a world of many MANY ways: i have a safeword, if i'm playing with someone new, i stick to the SSC credo for my own safety, because otherwise i'm likely to throw way too much caution to the wind. i had a 'protector' for a while, who was responsible for making sure i didn't end up with a horrible Master, not because He didn't think i wasn't responsible enough. i was still young, and likely didn't know how to judge correctly just yet.

Am i saying that this is how everyone has to live? NO! Not at all! It just HAPPENS sometimes, and it doesn't mean it's wrong. Everyone here has a right to disagree, but it doesn't make it any less right for me, or anyone else who holds the same values.

As for the OP...i believe the way she went around informing people that she had a protector was inappropriate, but again....that's only based on the information given. If she was truly spooked, she may have felt that that was her only recourse. We really can't know, but i'm sure there was a better way to get her point across (much like many people here could find better ways of saying things).

Respectfully,

daisy

(in reply to kiska)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 3:48:19 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

On a Group list a few of us were teasing a sub about flogging her at an upcoming party. Suddenly we get this announcement from out of the blue that she is "protected" by xxxxxx and if anyone contacts her she will refer us to HER The ALMIGHTY PROTECTORESS !!!

OK We immediately replied back on list that We did NOT have any idea she was "protected" and  withdrew our offers.Now at the Play party We will not flog her or have any thing to do with her.

Doesn't the Dom usually Post that so and so is MINE , Protected etc.?


Ok, I'm weighing in on this as a sub who was in that exact position a while back. On our group list, I was mercilessly teased about being flogged and spanked and getting my ass beat at the next party for weeks before that party, which was the first I ever attended. The keyword here is TEASED thank you. Rather than running out and getting a "protector", I teased the hell out of them right back, laughed my ass off, felt accepted and welcomed because I was being teased, made a part of the group/family. I didn't freak and think omg I need protection .

I went to that party and had an absolute blast and met some fantastic people and yeah, I got flogged and spanked that night too, but at my request after some time spent talking to a nice Master there who has become a friend. I understood that they were teasing me and simply teased right back and there was much laughter and fun and I played in a safe enviroment.

Edited to add that had the teasing made me nervous, I would have simply stated so to the list and friends in it.

< Message edited by SweetSarijane -- 6/16/2006 3:50:40 PM >


_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 4:31:37 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Fuck safe words and the trend they rode in on...same with SSC...as far as I am concerned they should all be piled on a mound of "collars of protection" and burned.

Like patriotism, they are the last refuge of the scoundrel.


Safe words were really only intended for one thing.  They were/are a means of communication between individuals, most commonly Tops and Bottoms, participating in casual play.  That's it... that's all safe words were ever really good for.  Once you get to know a person, you ought to know them well enough to know what their reactions are, where the boundaries are, and when Stop really means STOP!  This whole illusion that has been spun around them that safe words will magically keep people safe is BS.  If a submissive does not know a dominant well enough to trust their integrity, then that safe word isn't going to help any (because its the integrity of the dominant that will cause him or her to actually honor the safe word, get it people?).

SSC isn't a bad concept, actually its a common sense idea.  I think where its started becoming detestible to some is that its been bandied about so much.  Whether its SSC or RACK all either really means to me is "use some common sense moron!"  Unfortunately, common sense isn't all that common.  I love watching the arguments between SSC vs RACK... they both say essentially the same thing, make the effort to be reasonably safe.

An don't even get me started on safe calls.  Safe calls are good for one thing only, helping the cops locate your corpse.  They will not actually keep you safe, they do nothing to prevent someone intent on doing you harm.  Some of the nonsense that gets spoon fed to people online is downright dangerous.

As for collars of protection, I agree, its a silly concept that frankly I've only ever seen online.  I've never met someone in the meat that had one.  And those I've known in the meat who did training / mentoring were quite different from the ones I see online.  But then I chalk that up to the internet, or as I like to call it, "fantasyland."

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 4:46:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr
Doesn't the Dom usually Post that so and so is MINE , Protected etc.?

No, it's usually the sub who is more proud and wants to throw around being protected as a shield/badge of honor.

The whole concept is fairly ridiculous and completely plays into the notion that sub = unable to act like a mature responsible adult.

But plenty of novice subs LOVE pretending to be an immature irresponsibile adult who needs protection.  And plenty of doms LOVE being the protector/knight in armor who can cast their sheild of protection (+2) against the vile sins of this bdsm land.




What is your opinion on wearing a collar to a club if you are not "collared" because you just want to relax with friends and not be hit on? Lets say a friends's dom gives you a collar so you three can go watch some scenes without other doms interupting you? Is that a collar of protection? Does it have any validity where you live? In this case it is not a badge of honor, but a real life tool to avoid being on the meat market when one would rather just relax in my opinion. Sure you could just leave it off and tell dominants you are not in the mood, but I think it is a nice warding device sometimes.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 5:09:55 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag


Safe words were really only intended for one thing.  They were/are a means of communication between individuals, most commonly Tops and Bottoms, participating in casual play.  That's it... that's all safe words were ever really good for.  Once you get to know a person, you ought to know them well enough to know what their reactions are, where the boundaries are, and when Stop really means STOP!  This whole illusion that has been spun around them that safe words will magically keep people safe is BS.  If a submissive does not know a dominant well enough to trust their integrity, then that safe word isn't going to help any (because its the integrity of the dominant that will cause him or her to actually honor the safe word, get it people?).



Warning: brief hijack...apologies to the OP.


When I was very new to this I believed that those who didn't believe in or use safewords were all unsafe and not someone I felt I should be involved with on even a casual level. I believed that any dominant who believed in using safewords or said such was more trustworthy and would honor a safeword. Yeah, yeah....can we say naive???? I was naive in several aspects when I first found bdsm. Luckily, I took time to read and learn and began to understand this and also started to find where and how I fit into it.

As I've gotten out and involved in my local kink/bdsm community, joined groups, made friends, attended events, and talked with people learning different views, that belief has changed. I don't think safewords are a must have. My preference and what I've used in my bottoming sessions at parties and gatherings is simply open communication, giving feedback rather than remembering to say yellow, red or some really off the wall word to slow or halt things.

Top: SMACK
Me: aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Top: was that too hard?
Me: felt too intense, can we try a little lighter or in a different spot and see how I react?

That was just a fast off the top of my head example, but you get the idea.

If someone feels that they need to use safewords that's fine and I have no problem with that so long as it's not shoved in my face as in telling me I have to or should use them because that's the right or true way.

Hijack ended....back to your regularly scheduled thread.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 5:16:45 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

On a Group list a few of us were teasing a sub about flogging her at an upcoming party. Suddenly we get this announcement from out of the blue that she is "protected" by xxxxxx and if anyone contacts her she will refer us to HER The ALMIGHTY PROTECTORESS !!!



I cant speak for what is in this girl's head, but given the facts stated here, it appears that she is nervous or afraid of this "teasing" flogging, and is just trying to fend off something that she is taking seriously.  So, she comes off with the whole protection thing in an effort to back it down.   Why not set her mind at ease?

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 6:21:01 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

On a Group list a few of us were teasing a sub about flogging her at an upcoming party. Suddenly we get this announcement from out of the blue that she is "protected" by xxxxxx and if anyone contacts her she will refer us to HER The ALMIGHTY PROTECTORESS !!!

OK We immediately replied back on list that We did NOT have any idea she was "protected" and  withdrew our offers.Now at the Play party We will not flog her or have any thing to do with her.

Doesn't the Dom usually Post that so and so is MINE , Protected etc.?
IMO...you got her nervous..plain and simple...some people have learned the fine art of teasing and taking it..while others have no clue how to dish it out nor handle it..now I am not saying you have to play with her however..I think that maybe or at least I hope that you do not completely shun her.Give her a chance to be comfortable before you decide that because she could not handle your teasing and sicced a protectoress on you that she is no longer worthy of being accepted....This is just a wee bit of life advice not lifestyle advice.....from the know nothing much at all novice..Tempting

(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 8:10:30 PM   
zero69u2


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline
I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of collarme virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ulllrrrich von Fuckinstien!
The rock, the hard one, like a wind from Cyberland he sweeps by blown far from his homeland in search of glory and honor and protecting all fair maidens with false promises of lusty adventures and protecting them with his unlimited velcro collars..
All dom's walk in the garden of his turbulence.

From Over Yonder.. He comes into chat with sword in hand..
trolls from afar gaze admiringly at his gleaming sword and unquestionable valor..
women oodle as he gives out collars of protection..

Then suddenly.. wham.. 3 dom's beat the fuck out of Sir Ulllrrrich and look down on him..
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting..

the end of collars of protection..





(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 8:46:12 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline
I have always been protected by the elephants I guess I got lucky ...

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"




(in reply to artglfr)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 8:51:43 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
LOLOL, when I saw this, I was gonna ask if you were under the sign of lam, i saw it on the rss, and so now I will shut it.

'cause you are.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LaMspeach)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 9:15:56 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
wow what a variety of responses, my original post included........

i remember when i first started in the lifestyle, that i had said to a Dom "with all due respect Sir, i am new to the lifestyle, don't know much and just wish to watch."

well hot damn if i didn't find Him tryin to grab my arm and pull me into His little scene, only to have another Dom who had overheard my response to this other Dom step in and say that i had been polite and just wished to watch.

i was never so happy to have someone step in on my behalf than i was that day.

SAFE? HMMMMMMMMM NOPE..........What we do is not always Safe.........Sane? hmmmmmmmmm again well hehe i'll not comment on this one, but society would say how could any one who is sane do the stuff we do........Consensual: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh booooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyy ummmmmmmmm wow........for submissives and some slaves yes it is consensual, but then you get these slaves who give up all rights to say no or i'm not sure and then there goes another ball of wax ......

just my opinion mind you and i know the vast majority here don't like some of the things i have  had to say in the past but alas so goes life and i am who i am............... i will NOT change for anyone cept my Master and only for Him.

and on that sweet note i am outta here to find some more chocolate cause it's the only thing curing a headache and the blahs today lol

Blessed Be, Play Nice and Do Not mess in the Sandbox now ....LOL

*runs out laughin and hopin she don't come back to find her butt blistered in a post or three.*

oh yeah on a side note about Protectors mine has been awesome.


< Message edited by cariad -- 6/16/2006 9:17:07 PM >


_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 9:44:01 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
Julia,

It is attitude and demeanor far more than a collar around the neck that keeps people from talking to you at a party.  Let us know how wearing the collar works for you.

(in reply to cariad)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/16/2006 11:05:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
I was not speaking of myself in this instance. Athough I had considered going to Atlanta to visit my submissive friend and thought about how I wanted to handle that if I went to a club with her and another one of her friends.I am not going to go this summer so that is not an issue, but I had thought of it.

If I go to a club with the person I am seeing presently I will probably wear a collar and leash for play, nothing wrong in that. A full collar is not the only collar, and people wear them for play alone.

I see nothing wrong with people using devices to make themselves comfortable in their environment. I have heard of women that wear wedding rings so they are not bothered in certain situations, I see a collar of protection as the same thing. You do not have to annouce "I am being protected by Lord King of the Universe and Lesser Gods", I do not think a submissive has to explain her situation to anyone.

I have read other people on this board that talk about real life experience and feel that it is their right to order any uncollared submissive around because of orientation. They think it is a compliment to order a submissive to get them a drink for example. I would resent someone that was not my dominant ordering me to do anything, but at the same time unable to say something because I am "new" to the scene. Many subs, like me, who have never played in public would like the comfort of not having to deal with being picked up on because we are new meat. Logically I know I could go to the dungeon master and tell them of any problem I might encounter, but who wants to deal with that when they are just learning about the scene? I don't personally.

It is not a real concern for me, because I am not going into this territory by myself, but with someone who has scened publically, and knows what he will expect of me, but I cannot imagine going into a club without knowing at least one person there very well. How intimidating that would be! Im lucky that is not my fate.. smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/17/2006 3:49:13 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
It seems to me that the girl in question was scared by the teasing.  She'd yet to meet any of you, and yet, you were all telling her how she was going to be spanked, flogged, etc.  She sounds like a newbie and she did what she felt she must to protect herself from the big, bad meanies. 

Simple case of misunderstanding, I think...and certainly not worth branding her the idiot. 

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: "Protected "submissive - 6/17/2006 6:42:22 AM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I have read other people on this board that talk about real life experience and feel that it is their right to order any uncollared submissive around because of orientation. They think it is a compliment to order a submissive to get them a drink for example. I would resent someone that was not my dominant ordering me to do anything, but at the same time unable to say something because I am "new" to the scene. Many subs, like me, who have never played in public would like the comfort of not having to deal with being picked up on because we are new meat. Logically I know I could go to the dungeon master and tell them of any problem I might encounter, but who wants to deal with that when they are just learning about the scene? I don't personally.


Personally I would question the "real" life experinece of anyone who speaks in that manner.  That is typically the run away imagination of on line typers.  I have never seen any of this behavior in a group setting.  I know at the places we go it would be dealt with in a swift and harsh manner then again most of the events we go to are private and admission is by invitation only.  A more public club where anyone with 20 bucks and a name plate which says "Lord Stick Up My Ass", can have more potential for a problem but they are also generally monitored even closer to make sure the clubs rules are being followed.  Cariad mentioned above she once had a problem, but someone at the club stepped in almost immediately.  I think at times newer people relate what they think the experience may be to a normal old vanilla singles bar where men are just strolling around hitting on women and trying to get laid. 

I have to agree with LA, most of the "subs need protecting" thoughts simply reinforce the ideas that submissives are weak, can not think, or other wise take care of themselves.

K

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 40
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