RE: The decline of collarme

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: The decline of collarme

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: The decline of collarme

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:30:56 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream
...there are more narrow/closed minded people here than one would hope to find in a place like this. Dang depressing I tell ya.

I must admit, I have found this to be very true on a number of different threads and topics and even on the other side.

If you speak too far from what the cliquey bunch like, you get villified and your posts get pulled just for having a completely different PoV.

One would have thought that a place like a BDSM community such as CM would have a far wider tolerance.
Unfortunately, that isn't that case here.

I'm a complete newb here and even I have seen rat-pack attitude happen more than I care to tolerate if I were completely honest.
And if you dare contradict the Mods, you get yourself banned.
If you use the facilities to report people too often than the mods like, you get banned.
And these days, if you stray too far off-topic, the thread gets closed, locked, or severely trimmed.
It's certainly very regimented in many ways that I don't think is always healthy for a forum.

Just my

(in reply to heartcream)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:33:01 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

why would you expect people into bdsm to be more tolerant and open minded? Personally I like that that people into bdsm are just like every other human being on the planet. If everyone was tolerant of everyone I would think they are insecure and want to be accepted by everyone and that's friggin annoying to me. If they are open minded I would think it's a miracle their brain hasn't fallen out yet.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:38:33 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Maybe because in many branches of modern society, it's still seen as a "behind-closed-doors" sort of thing that is still swept under the carpet??

In some societies, it's downright illegal.

But because there are many more books and online groups that are available these days and for many it is more 'acceptable', that doesn't make it mainstream yet.

And why do you believe that being 'open minded' makes someone insecure??
That statement baffles me.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:42:39 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I said being tolerant of everyone and everything makes one insecure. It says to me that they need to be accepted by everyone to feel good about themselves and to be accepted by everyone, they have to accept everyone as well.

Sorry, but I don't need to be tolerant of everyone and everything to feel good about myself. Standing strong beside my morals and values makes me feel good about myself and my morals and values say that not everything or everyone is acceptable.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:47:18 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

And if you dare contradict the Mods, you get yourself banned.
If you use the facilities to report people too often than the mods like, you get banned.
And these days, if you stray too far off-topic, the thread gets closed, locked, or severely trimmed.
It's certainly very regimented in many ways that I don't think is always healthy for a forum.

Just my

Hmm I've never had a threat to be banned for contradicting mods or reporting TOS violations.

But the jist of what you're describing is pretty much like many of the forums on Fet, too. Play by the rules, or play somewhere else. Granted, moderation has its ebbs and flows, too.

I post here mainly because there are some cool people here I enjoy conversing with, and reading what they have to say, even if I don't always agree with them.

< Message edited by NuevaVida -- 12/27/2012 3:49:06 PM >

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:49:30 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Perhaps I got the wrong end of the stick with your sweeping statement.
If I did, I appologise.

But I honestly don't believe that being open-minded makes someone insecure.
That doesn't imply being open minded about everything and anything.
Even if that were the case, that still doesn't make them insecure.

(in reply to littlewonder)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 3:55:48 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

And if you dare contradict the Mods, you get yourself banned.
If you use the facilities to report people too often than the mods like, you get banned.
And these days, if you stray too far off-topic, the thread gets closed, locked, or severely trimmed.
It's certainly very regimented in many ways that I don't think is always healthy for a forum.

Just my

Hmm I've never had a threat to be banned for contradicting mods or reporting TOS violations.

But the jist of what you're describing is pretty much like many of the forums on Fet, too. Play by the rules, or play somewhere else. Granted, moderation has its ebbs and flows, too.

I post here mainly because there are some cool people here I enjoy conversing with, and reading what they have to say, even if I don't always agree with them.

Unfortunately, I have.... twice.
And sometimes for reasons that completely elude me too.

I have had a raft of posts pulled just because I didn't feel the same as others at the time.
Now that just doesn't happen by accident.

I have also had two profiles removed for "excessive reporting".
No warnings, just an email to say cease and desist.... then 30 minutes later, I am just a "guest" visitor and profile deleted.

Go figure!!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:08:05 PM

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

quote:

I have also had two profiles removed for "excessive reporting".
No warnings, just an email to say cease and desist.... then 30 minutes later, I am just a "guest" visitor and profile deleted.

I seriously believe there is probably much more to that story than you are sharing. If any of it is true in the first place.

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:12:19 PM

Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

quote:

And if you dare contradict the Mods, you get yourself banned.

Statements like this always give me a good laugh.Why you ask? Because if they were true we would never ever get to see them because they'd get pulled about as fast as you post then you would be history.But since we still see these mod bashing statements made over and over by ones that are not banned,it kind of points out the falseness of your statement.

As far as the original post,I have been here since April of 2011...about the time of the rise of the fake lesbians.So while I haven't been here as long as some,I have seen a few things around here.I've read archive posts from members no longer here that I've enjoyed and I've seen far too many clueless newbies and outright trolls that I have not enjoyed just like most other sites on the net,kinky or vanilla.CM is like any other site on the net,for whatever reason people come and go.New stars rise while old ones fade away,some get bored or find other ways of entertaining themselves.There are some on here that I almost always agree with and others...well,let's just say we are never going to see eye to eye with each other even if they had a ladder.But most add to the site and the enjoyment factor.We all make this site what it is..either bad or good.I am a very firm believer in this saying,stick your finger in a glass of water then pull it out...that's just how big a hole you'll leave when you are gone.And yes..this includes myself as well as anyone else on here.One of the few things in life that is certain is change,nothing stays the same forever.

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:18:05 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream
...there are more narrow/closed minded people here than one would hope to find in a place like this. Dang depressing I tell ya.

I must admit, I have found this to be very true on a number of different threads and topics and even on the other side.

If you speak too far from what the cliquey bunch like, you get villified and your posts get pulled just for having a completely different PoV.

One would have thought that a place like a BDSM community such as CM would have a far wider tolerance.
Unfortunately, that isn't that case here.

I'm a complete newb here and even I have seen rat-pack attitude happen more than I care to tolerate if I were completely honest.
And if you dare contradict the Mods, you get yourself banned.
If you use the facilities to report people too often than the mods like, you get banned.
And these days, if you stray too far off-topic, the thread gets closed, locked, or severely trimmed.
It's certainly very regimented in many ways that I don't think is always healthy for a forum.

Just my

There's something about these two posts that made Me pause for a second. When the tolerance and open-minded flags start flying, it reminds Me of the attitude that people want 'yes man' type answers to everything. That would give us boards full of "wanting to do X" and everybody smiles, agreeing with whatever came up. THAT kills forums. Having different views and healthy discussion on those views is what makes them thrive. What's more interesting? A thread where people all think the same thing or one where people talk about differences and explain points of view?

I don't know. I guess I just think it's kind of funny sometimes because I do have some kinks that a lot of people think are kind of 'out there' and at the same time, I consider Myself conservative on a number of subjects. I happen to think exploring the differences makes it more interesting.

Just an opinion.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:29:10 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

quote:

I have also had two profiles removed for "excessive reporting".
No warnings, just an email to say cease and desist.... then 30 minutes later, I am just a "guest" visitor and profile deleted.

I seriously believe there is probably much more to that story than you are sharing. If any of it is true in the first place.

I can assure it's very true.

It happened on 23rd October this year - that's why I have yet another new profile.

I was bored on 22nd so decided to browse through the pics.
Every time I came across something that obviously violated ToS, I reported the pic.
I gave up after an hour as the pics were repeating.
The next day, I did the same... browsed the pics and reported those that blatantly violated ToS.
I got a cmail saying to 'cease and desist' or further action would be taken (and no, I won't name the Mod who sent it); so I stopped immediately.
Halfway through the afternoon I was doing just what I am now, reading and making the odd comment.
A post I was replying to wasn't allowed to be posted because 'I was no longer signed in'.
I tried to sign in and found that my profile was deleted.

And that's why my current ID starts from 23rd October - I had to make a new profile... again.
The one before that got deleted around May/June time I believe.
And that was because I had a load of posts pulled and I complained about it because I felt it was unjust.
In that same cmail I asked for my complaint to be made a formal one against the Mod in question.
Again, within 30 minutes of that cmail, my account was deleted.

< Message edited by freedomdwarf1 -- 12/27/2012 4:32:29 PM >

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:38:35 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

I'm not advocating complete agreement across the board... now that would be very boring.

I'm just saying that sometimes if a PoV is vastly different to the general posts on a thread, that person gets pushed out and sometimes gets their posts pulled for swimming against the tide.

The one that comes to mind was quite recent whereby if anyone posted anything different to the general tide of posts they got pulled because 'many thought the posts were inappropriate at that time' although similar posts were allowed later on in the 'discussion'.

We don't want any 'yes man' threads.
But sometimes the moderation, or just the tide of others in the thread make it a monologue.

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 4:47:28 PM

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

I have to say that I just has a post removed for a reason that is absolutely ridiculous to me. Normally, I can see their point, but this one has thrown me for a loop.

Not gonna flounce out of here, hell no one would notice anyhow-lol, but I am gonna just become a reader for a while. If that gets boring, I will just fade out in to the sunset. Or, go out in a blaze of glory.

I am just done trying to figure out what is and aint acceptable. We are sposed to be grownups here.

eta what happened.

A guy was being a jerk on a thread, and I posted something from his profile where he stated that he enjoyed being a jerk.

I got the following reason for why my post was pulled..

quote:

for user privacy we do not allow profiles or parts of profiles to be reposted in the forums when it appears that the intent is to draw negative attention to the profile

Seriously? Letting folks know what someone says on their own profile is violating their privacy?

And me outta something to smoke!!!

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 12/27/2012 4:58:55 PM >

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 5:15:16 PM

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
A guy was being a jerk on a thread, and I posted something from his profile where he stated that he enjoyed being a jerk.

I got the following reason for why my post was pulled..

quote:

for user privacy we do not allow profiles or parts of profiles to be reposted in the forums when it appears that the intent is to draw negative attention to the profile

Seriously? Letting folks know what someone says on their own profile is violating their privacy?

And me outta something to smoke!!!

It's exactly threads like these where some people get posts pulled for sometimes ridiculous reasons.
Yet the purpetraitor of the 'off-topic', almost slanderous posts, get left in the thread.

Where's the equality and justice??

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 5:57:13 PM

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Amazing. I've been on this site since it's very first day under one name or another and never once...not ever, have I ever had a profile deleted or had threads pulled for simply disagreeing. I have had responses pulled because it was against the TOS but during all this time online I think I may have had a total of 5 or 7 responses pulled. That's in over probably 10 years time on here.

I"m calling bullshit.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 7:52:43 PM

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

freedomdwarf1:

As I ponder your posting history I think I might say it like this.

Any community has it's own standards and norms and there is at least some requirement to "fit in". It's sort of basic social skills. You, for whatever reasons, have not done so. Let's not think of it as "right" or "wrong". It's just a mismatch. I have the same problem with the Gorean forum. Despite a great deal of interest I just don't "fit in there". So I don't go there. Once or twice now I've felt the same way about all of collarme. Generally my clue on that is when I look at the front page and see half the thread or more are from posters I've hidden. I don't assume that they are all idiots. I assume I'm not fitting in. When that has happeend, I've left for a while. Then I come back periodically and see if my experience is still the same or not.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not negating your experience. I acknowledge it for what it is and I have experienced it myself. But given the posts you've made I'm not sure that I can think of anything to do to correct it. Many times I've talked about some of the same things you tried to talk to and gotten very different responses than you. The excessive thread management from the mods is being talked about in the moderation thread and I agree is an issue... although in my case the concern is spanking the whole therad because of one or two posters. I'd rather just have those posters spanked.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 7:55:34 PM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
I can assure it's very true.

It happened on 23rd October this year - that's why I have yet another new profile.

I was bored on 22nd so decided to browse through the pics.
Every time I came across something that obviously violated ToS, I reported the pic.
I gave up after an hour as the pics were repeating.
The next day, I did the same... browsed the pics and reported those that blatantly violated ToS.
I got a cmail saying to 'cease and desist' or further action would be taken (and no, I won't name the Mod who sent it); so I stopped immediately.
Halfway through the afternoon I was doing just what I am now, reading and making the odd comment.
A post I was replying to wasn't allowed to be posted because 'I was no longer signed in'.
I tried to sign in and found that my profile was deleted.

And that's why my current ID starts from 23rd October - I had to make a new profile... again.
The one before that got deleted around May/June time I believe.
And that was because I had a load of posts pulled and I complained about it because I felt it was unjust.
In that same cmail I asked for my complaint to be made a formal one against the Mod in question.
Again, within 30 minutes of that cmail, my account was deleted.

In the interest of fairness, can you substantiate any of the above? I am willing to step forward and assist in the verification of the comments made. If you can supply a copy of said warning letter, screen names for the prior profiles, or verify any record substantiating the events in respect to these instances above, I would be happy to examine any evidence that you can present.

I have reason to believe that your statement is incorrect, so I would greatly appreciate you proving Me wrong.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 9:08:48 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

I think people should censor themselves. I just don't understand the mentality that when faced with a thought they do not agree with, people think they are entitled to call someone dumb assed or stupid.

Even if it is true it causes nothing but retaliation and from there all constructive conversation ends.

I never do this...well just once... and manage to get my points across just fine...what this place needs is manners. Of course I am old...lol and that is the way i was raised.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 9:40:54 PM

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub
... and manage to get my points across just fine...what this place needs is manners. Of course I am old...lol and that is the way i was raised.

I agree Butch. I'll point out that I noted how you "warned me off" on one thread but did so with dignity and poise rather than swagger and bullshit. Thank you.

More to the point though, I agree with you that more "civility" would be nice.

My problem with that is that "civility" is a subjective aesthetic. What I find "civil" other posters find "tame" or even "repressive" and I'm certain yet others find "rude". On this very thread people bemoan the loss of some posters that I'd hidden for "lack of civility". So while I wish that CM was more towards my aesthetic it seems a bit narcissistic to expect everyone else to see things the same way. I've noodled over that several times in the past and I keep coming back to "the community needs to find it's own balance then I need to decide if I like that. I can only influence by example and in such a far-flung community that influence is minimal at best."

I think that problem (if it is one) shows up in much more than just "you're stupid" too. Some new guy shows up with no experience and says he's a "master" looking for a "slave". We all know how THAT one goes and it's about as rude as I can imagine. Denying someone else's very identity is a pretty heavy "rudeness crime" in my eyes. Even worse, it's totally unnecessary seeing as MAsT -- an international organization who's entire identity is founded in leather M/s relationships -- finds no need to decide who's "true" and who isn't. That's the sort of thing I mean when I say this community is insular. And "insular" is pretty much guaranteed to be rude to outsiders.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to kdsub)

RE: The decline of collarme - 12/27/2012 10:38:31 PM

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

Purple writing is impossible for me to read and it creeps me out so I dont read purple writing even if I can tell it is directed toward me by the quote box.

As far as another post saying something about being tolerant of everyone and everything (or whatever that was about) I dont feel aligned with what that person is saying. I for one certainly do not consider myself, or aspire to be tolerant of everyone or everything. I am opinionated and admit that probably more than half of it is point of view and not the full picture or understanding.

Yes people are people wherever they go, into a kink website or on the bus. Thing is though, one might imagine there is a bit more room for differing points of view here. Like for example if ya went to a lesbo bar, one might think it might be a more accommodating place to dance like crazy and not be judged.

I have witnessed so many times here when someone comes in from the left or from any other direction than middle of the road it sets some of you off and into all sorts of boring loud things. It is funny for me to imagine how some of you dig getting jabbed with pins, pissed on, punched and whatever else wets your whistle but if someone mentions something like, let's say reincarnation, you start bellowing like some indignant bunch a squares. Anyone else see this as funny?

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat

(in reply to JeffBC)

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: The decline of collarme

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.141