crouchingtigress
Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006 From: Maui Status: offline
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Dan Savage is a a godsend ! quote:
It needs to be said that depriving a spouse of sex—or subjecting them to absolutely joyless sex in the hope that they'll stop asking—is an act of emotional violence. And this brand of emotional violence not only creates frustration, anger, and desperation, it inevitably leads to infidelity, which all too often leads to divorce, broken homes, and traumatized children. And who gets the blame? The spouse who cheated, of course! To all those folks out there who aren't interested in sex: Getting married—or civilly united or shacking up—is like buying a cow. You know going in that you're going to have to milk the thing. But unlike an unmilked cow, a spouse—male or female—won't just stand there in a field and suffer. A spouse is a cow with a credit card, a job, and a car. If you don't milk the cow you married, your cow has the means to go out and find someone who will. If you're fine with that, for God's sake tell your cow. If you lose interest in sex but want to stay married for the kids, friendship, or financial security, apologize to your cow and tell 'em you'll do them the courtesy of turning a blind eye if they'll do you the courtesy of being milked discreetly elsewhere. Tell your husband what's going on and tell him why. Offer to stay with him and raise your kids together, if you can hack it. But just as he's made it clear that being with him means no sex, you need to make it clear that being with you means semi-regular cuckolding. "I love this guy!"... me too cpg! She is hoping, waiting, asking, whining and pining...Hows that working for her? Not well it seems but she is the only one who can change anything and she is not doing it....i have faith that she will though, when it becomes unbearable...i just hope she does not choose the cowards way (yes i am judging all you cheaters i do think you are cowards, YMMV). I hope she marches in there with a demand for change and a very clear determination that she will not be a victim to his pity party. Like susanO says, this stuff leads to deep depression, and one can become suicidal... If you are reading this thread friendofthe OP, please know that some people stay in sexless marriges for 50 or more years...and then they become embitterd, jaded and lonely. Sexual energy is the creative energy, the life force, the prana of the universe...and you are (not him) denying yourself acess to it...and you might want to look at why that is ok with you. Yes i know you are talking about it to your friend bit until you do something to change it you are permitting it. Actions speak louder then words.
< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 6/20/2006 2:56:01 PM >
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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington This is him "Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."
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