quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

If anyone tries a search of the terms Daddy Dom + pedophile, you will see basically, "nilch, nada, nothing." Why would that be? And, the terms "age-player" and "incest-player" are not listed as BDSM interests, here on CM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Hi LadyPact,

Thank you for the thoughtful and detailed response.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I certainly wouldn't be all for someone with pedophilia desires channeling it into a grown woman who acts like a kid, that's sick and the person needs help.


But all the Daddy doms I know, and mine included, are not interested in me because I act like a child, or I look like a child, or I dress like a child they're interested in the grown woman I am who is trusting enough to let them see a very precious part of my personality. I was severely abused most my childhood and into early adult hood, so being a child at heart is very much a real part of me and it's not make believe or something I take off and put on at a whim. I'm very picky about who I trust all of me to, but most specifically the parts of me that are still at a biological childs age.

I don't have to look or dress like a child for my Daddy to want me and love me, in fact he prefers even though I am a child at heart I save acting like a child for home, and for ageplay munches. You don't have to dress or look like a child to have a Daddy Dom, thats just falacy, and some littles and age players are 50 and 60, long past the look like a child stage.


And speak for yourself only please, My doms did not get me to be with them by grooming me with praise or gifts or anything else. I came to them of my own accord and stayed with them for the joy of being with them, themselves, not cause I was groomed. They also didn't keep me isolated, or make me feel ashamed of myself, or any of the other stuff you're hinting at. If anything they encouraged me to go out and see the world, and not be ashamed of who and what I was. I am virtually a shut in and I have little to no natural pride in myself, and all my partners minus one doofus that was a poor pick on my behalf, encouraged me to feel pride in myself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

I’m feeling paralyzed by fear. I don’t even know where to turn for answers. I am hoping that TOS guidelines won’t interfere with a rational and informative discussion of this topic. I simply seek clarity. These are my questions:

Question 1

Is a Daddy Dom a pedophile psychologically, but he behaves physically/sexually only with adults?

I believe people are sexually unique for three reasons:
1) Born that way
2) An early event linked sexuality and (fill in the blank/fetish)
3) Choice.

Question 2

So, if a guy is sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy channels those feelings into mutually consensual behavior with another adult, or adults, then I think we’d all want to support that “use” of those feelings, right?

Question 3

Daddy Doms and pedophiles “groom” the focus of their attention, using praise, gifts and a sense of dependence. But do they share these other qualities as well:

-a self-image as being younger than they really are?

-inability to maintain peer relationships?

-a need for isolation, control and secrecy?

-shame, self-loathing, but with a charming façade?

- (fill in the blank with your own observations)?

quote:

sexually aroused and attracted to all things youthful and he acts on it, it’s a crime and a horror. But, if that same guy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I had an interesting couple of convos on FET about this some time back.
2 simultaneous threads were going where Daddydoms were called pedophiles and the exact same women were saying "You GO girl" in a thread about 'cougars'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne

Could you please say what you mean when you write "couple of convos on FET about this"?

What you say after that makes me think that you didn't understand the original questions, which is why I ask you to elaborate on "this." Thanks. :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I had an interesting couple of convos on FET about this some time back.
2 simultaneous threads were going where Daddydoms were called pedophiles and the exact same women were saying "You GO girl" in a thread about 'cougars'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


To elaborate... my request that we not discuss the defense of the kink is because I am not saying there is anything wrong with the kink. I'm aware that the Daddy Dom being equated with a reviled pedophile is a long-standing misconception - one I don't have. That conversation has been done and redone. I am asking something else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shininglight23

FR

TwoHeartsBeatOne,

I am a little shocked at how your questions were slanted towards the negative.

I do understand that if you have never been in, had a desire to be in, or had an opportunity to understand a relationship such as a Daddy/lg.. it may be confusing.

I have been in, and continue to be in such a relationship. I can reassure you that I have never met a man that was a "Daddy" that was also a pedophile. I can only speak from my personal experience, and my relationships never involved a creep factor of..."come sit on Daddys lap while he runs his hands...etc"

In my relationships it's always been more of a mental and emotional connection. I sent you a Cmail... please read what I attached. I'm hoping it gives you a better understanding.

Allie

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

If you're not getting the answers you want then you may want to rethink your communication and writing style.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I just had to come back to compliment so many good posts.

AthenaSurrenders you are one very astute woman.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne


Judgmental? Really? Did you read the part where I posit that if a pedophile channels that desire into age-play with another adult, that they just might be a kind of hero? Please think about what kind of non-judgmental heart can think of another human being like that, when most want to just kill them.

To elaborate... my request that we not discuss the defense of the kink is because I am not saying there is anything wrong with the kink. I'm aware that the Daddy Dom being equated with a reviled pedophile is a long-standing misconception - one I don't have. That conversation has been done and redone. I am asking something else.

Your very first sentence answers one of my questions.

Thank you for your response. I appreciate your candor, Toppingfrmbottom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


I'm on no pedestal. The OP's mind was made up, before the post was written and I'm under no duress or obligation to provide information to anyone that simply can't be bothered to look it up. Which brings me to:

You seem to not know that not having a bible at your fingertips is no reason to not be able to figure out what a bible verse references. Here's a hint: The interwebs isn't just for porn, anymore, dear.

Yes, the words below my avatar show how much I am concerned for people that think that I owe them something merely because they see it as being so.

As I have stated, previously, I posted a wonderful essay in a previous thread. There, again is the whole "do your own research" thing. People that truly seek knowledge can find it here on the interwebs. Good luck to you.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoHeartsBeatOne




I admit I don't have a grasp on how "childlike faith and intimacy" are separate from any woman's personality. Isn't that simply a part of all of us?

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

A daddy dom doesn’t consider himself my father or me his child. A daddy and his baby girl are not role-playing that they are “father and daughter” nor is a daddy and a little role playing that they are “father and daughter.”

A daddy dom, isn’t attracted to a baby girl or a little because he wants to fuck his daughter or any child for that matter. A baby girl or little isn’t attracted to her daddy because she wants to fuck her father. They are attracted to one another as the adults they are, but a daddy dom is also attracted to the child-like qualities that his baby girl or little hold. Their innocents, their behavior.

Although you see more daddy/baby girl relationships there is another dynamic that falls into this same group.
Those are the Mommies. Which are the exact counter part of the daddy, except women.

ETA: There are also baby boys and male littles which are the male counter part of a baby girl and female little.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EsotericLady

LilSquaw? With all due respect for YOUR Daddy relationship, I'm afraid I must admit that I've never seen a relationship as yours...(see what I quoted you as saying below) before.

I've seen it both with baby girls and with littles. R/L. They most surely DID consider themselves father and child.

As for screwing, they most certainly did and broadcasted that they did.. as father and daughter.
Sorry but...(shrugs)...I haven't seen it any other way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

A daddy dom doesn’t consider himself my father or me his child. A daddy and his baby girl are not role-playing that they are “father and daughter” nor is a daddy and a little role playing that they are “father and daughter.”

A daddy dom, isn’t attracted to a baby girl or a little because he wants to fuck his daughter or any child for that matter. A baby girl or little isn’t attracted to her daddy because she wants to fuck her father. They are attracted to one another as the adults they are, but a daddy dom is also attracted to the child-like qualities that his baby girl or little hold. Their innocents, their behavior.

Although you see more daddy/baby girl relationships there is another dynamic that falls into this same group.
Those are the Mommies. Which are the exact counter part of the daddy, except women.

ETA: There are also baby boys and male littles which are the male counter part of a baby girl and female little.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB


@I'm not being confrontational... but how do we know that a pedo needs the real thing?

You need to understand what you are saying before you say it, especially with a subject like this that is so evocative. I am not going to go into details of how I know but I suggest you take your research from here to some proper research papers and gain a thorough first hand understanding of what a pedo is, how he thinks, how he feels and why he targets very particular age groups.

In the 80's and in the 90's, I worked in sexual assault/incest survivor counseling. I AM aware of the issues, types and ineffectiveness of current treatments for pedophiles/molesters. That said, I am relatively new to BDSM, so this is the community I seek answers from now.

My question, "how do we know a pedo needs the real thing?" refers to the general understanding that just because sexual behaviors are taboo, does not mean that people won't find alternative behaviors to express the underlying feelings.

I'm talking BDSM here, not vanilla... so a sadist with a masochist... who share a consensual agreement - match made in heaven! And, a Daddy Dom who incest/age plays consensually with a daughter/lg - again, match made in heaven. (Although, ironically, someone who posted earlier called that sick, just before calling me judgmental)!

My point is that if some Daddy Dom incest &/or age players are taking lust for children and playing that out with adults, I don't see the harm in that. (I can't do it, but that's just me.) In the same way that rape players are excited by elements of rape, why can't it also be true that incest/age-players are excited by elements of pedophilia?


Consider rape play. Does it have to be "real" to be sexually exciting? Does the person have to be a rapist to be excited by this? Don't props, words, the "story" all contribute to the fantasy?

So are you suggesting that every man who plays around with consensual rape is a potential rapist? Rape isn't about sex, its about control. The moment a woman consents to consensual rape it isn't rape, its fooling around.

No, I get the boundary of consent as the differing factor. I AM suggesting that the elements of a sexual kink (taboo or otherwise) ARE related to the non-consensual / criminal manifestation of the same desires. One's kink; the other is crime.


In other words, can't someone have a dark desire AND be socially, morally and psychologically whole enough to want to NOT act on it?

I think in some cases yes but its like all BDSM. If a man couldn't flog his submissive would he be physically abusing a woman? In the main its going to be 'no'

Sorry, I really don't understand these last two sentences above... help? Thanks.

I have many dark desires when it comes to BDSM. I have no interest in un-consensual though and so would never act out those desires without a willing partner. I think the majority are like myself but there are exceptions to everything.