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home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 8:55:32 AM

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My wife/slave is pregnant with our third child. We had hospital births with our other children and are going with a home birth this time. She wants to have this baby fully chained (ankles and wrists) as she says that this will allow her to express her submissive/slave side and provide a unique aspect to the experience. After searching the internet, I am starting to believe that it is a truly unique experience since there are no testimonials that I could find except of prison inmates. The birth is several months off, and we have talked with our midwife about it. The midwife is very supportive (she is a big advocate in individualizing birth plans) and says that she had no safety concerns since the chains will be able to be removed easily. I am writing in this forum because I wanted the point of view of the feelings of a slave/submissive on this desire of hers (she would not post a question like this herself). Is there anyone with this kind of experience? Thank you

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:07:09 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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No, but kudos for having the guts to talk to your midwife about it.

I guess my concern would be movement - I think perhaps there is a different culture around giving birth in the US anyway, but since you are going for a home birth I'm sure you've done all your research about birthing techniques. Being able to stand, squat, bounce on a ball, pace up and down and get on all fours are all tremendously helpful in labour, and chains - particularly on the ankles, are going to hinder that movement. Unless you just mean to have a symbolic cuff around the limbs and not actually attached to each other or anything else.

Personally I would find it to be incredibly distracting - I did not want to be touched or have anything even slightly restrictive touching me, I was completely focused on what my body was doing. I guess since she's given birth twice before she knows what is and isn't realistic for her.

I don't know what to advise on expressing her submissive side since I don't think of myself as having different sides in that way. Giving birth was neither a submissive act or an unsubmissive one, it just was what it was. Other than the fact that my husband was a calm, supportive presence, someone I absolutely trusted to see my vulnerable moments and also someone I trusted to make medical decisions for me if it came to that - but that would have been the case had we not also been D/s.

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(in reply to wintermaster)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:20:44 AM

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I never gave birth, but from what I know of friends and family members giving birth, expressing your submissive side is the LAST thing on their minds.

They want to get through it and have a healthy child. I doubt that being chained up is very smart during such a time as there can be an emergency and the few minutes it takes to unlock the chains is not worth losing wife or child.

But hey, people make their own priorities.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:26:43 AM

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Thank you for the insight. The restraints will be real not symbolic, but for the ankles there will be plenty of chain (approx 36in). She is a stay at home mom and sometimes spends days in loose chains (meaning that the cuffs are locked on her ankles but she can tie a long scarf around her waist and weave it through the center link, allowing easy walking). She has several lengths and I have even seen her do some yoga poses in them.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:27:50 AM

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I would say to be ready to take them off mid-labor, but other than that, if it's something that she wants to do, and your midwife doesn't think it will be in any way harmful, I say go for it. I've never given birth (real shocker there, I'm sure), nor have I been with somebody when they were giving birth, so I'll defer to people with more experience than me.

But since the chains will be easy to take off, if it becomes a problem, I wouldn't think that it should be too much to simply take them off and throw them in the corner.

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(in reply to wintermaster)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:35:11 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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I wouldnt do it. But thats just me.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 9:57:31 AM

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Personally, I have several comments that I will keep to myself.

That said, if your midwife doesn't have an issue with it and has all safety measures in place, then I assume it's fine.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 10:19:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wintermaster

Thank you for the insight. The restraints will be real not symbolic, but for the ankles there will be plenty of chain (approx 36in). She is a stay at home mom and sometimes spends days in loose chains (meaning that the cuffs are locked on her ankles but she can tie a long scarf around her waist and weave it through the center link, allowing easy walking). She has several lengths and I have even seen her do some yoga poses in them.

So your wife is walking around in chains around your children? Really? I find that to be completely inappropriate.

ETA: Unlike Oside, I don't choose to keep my comments of disgust to myself on this.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 3/21/2013 10:20:26 AM >

(in reply to wintermaster)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 10:24:12 AM

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Perhaps you should consider asking the child. What's that? Under the age of consent, and so : not legally permitted to agree.

I think you have a real bad idea. Have you asked CPS what they think?

There is more, but I edited that out.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 10:36:49 AM

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When I read the title, I made an assumption. I assumed that it meant you were going to be attempting an unassisted home birth, which is a bad idea. But, no, you were brave enough to talk with your midwife about your wants. She is the expert who would know what is safe, so I trust her.

I have had six children and all were hospital births, though some were drug free. I say go for it - hospitals can be super restrictive, good for you for personalizing your birth experience.

As to the days in chains, there are probably details as to how she does it hopping the children won't notice, that we don't understand. I know some slaves with children who are still comfortable calling thier Masters 'Sir' in front of the children. In my last relationship, my sister slaves 6 year old told her, when she told him no to something, 'well, Ds the boss, anyway'

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 10:39:48 AM

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She has had 3 children. SHe wears chains regularly. She likes it. Its her idea. IF there is no risk to the baby. I wont be judging here.

Never heard of it, nor would it be a wish of mine. I was wiggling around and cussing everyone, I might have strangled someone with the chains.

WIshing your family a healthy future birth!

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 10:55:32 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

So your wife is walking around in chains around your children? Really? I find that to be completely inappropriate.

ETA: Unlike Oside, I don't choose to keep my comments of disgust to myself on this.

Yeah, that was definitely one of my thoughts.

The next thought is that the first time those chains hamper her in rescuing one of said children, there will be hell to pay.

The last thought was that the OP is making the birth of their child all about their D/s power dynamic rather than about the birth of the child.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:00:32 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wintermaster

Thank you for the insight. The restraints will be real not symbolic, but for the ankles there will be plenty of chain (approx 36in). She is a stay at home mom and sometimes spends days in loose chains (meaning that the cuffs are locked on her ankles but she can tie a long scarf around her waist and weave it through the center link, allowing easy walking). She has several lengths and I have even seen her do some yoga poses in them.

Yeh... wearing chains around children... I find that to be wildly inappropriate. The newborn won't know what's going on, but since this is baby number 3 I have to assume the oldest will.

I think even a long chain is going to be a pain in the butt. Not to mention, kinda icky from a hygiene point of view. There's going to be amniotic fluid and blood, possible also vomit and feces. I'd think having something unnecessary attached between your legs with lots of crevices to collect things....

But as before, if you have a trained medical professional who thinks you can do this safely, then your wife can give birth however she likes.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to wintermaster)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:16:11 AM

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many years ago I bought a bracelet that looked like cuffs for my sub. He wears it all the time and that's was his daily collar.
The other day I noticed a bracelet at forever21 that looks like a gold police handcuff

I believe Cartier makes a bracelet that only a jeweler can pot on or take off.

These are some examples of collars one can use safely in any situation.

Personally I think that the power of being aware that one is owned is much more powerful than an object.
Removing the symbols and telling a sub"you do not need a physical reminder because you know you are mine" is very effective.
AND
You cannot get in trouble with the law for your submissive to freely give You power!

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:19:32 AM

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wow... lots to think on here.

First i will say that (like Athena ) when i was giving birth i didn't want to be touched or talked to or bothered. for me even the sound of the chain rattling would have been an issue. If the midwife doesn't see issue with it then i suppose that she knows better than i. Personally i wouldn't do it, nor would i suggest it to anyone. It seems to me if complications arise that are not anticipated that the chains could pose a problem, no matter how easily they come off.

the only other thought i would like to express is that i am wondering why the birth of a child is going to be about showing her submissive side? i tend to think of myself as me. i am submissive. it isn't a side to me more than just ... me. i wonder why it is important to her ( or both of you ) for that to be obvious and apparent during child birth. if it is super important to you both, is there not another way for that to be shown that is maybe less of a hindrance or health risk?

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:25:02 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breagha

wow... lots to think on here.

First i will say that (like Athena ) when i was giving birth i didn't want to be touched or talked to or bothered. for me even the sound of the chain rattling would have been an issue. If the midwife doesn't see issue with it then i suppose that she knows better than i. Personally i wouldn't do it, nor would i suggest it to anyone. It seems to me if complications arise that are not anticipated that the chains could pose a problem, no matter how easily they come off.

the only other thought i would like to express is that i am wondering why the birth of a child is going to be about showing her submissive side? i tend to think of myself as me. i am submissive. it isn't a side to me more than just ... me. i wonder why it is important to her ( or both of you ) for that to be obvious and apparent during child birth. if it is super important to you both, is there not another way for that to be shown that is maybe less of a hindrance or health risk?

I wonder about this part too. I needed to know he was there while I was giving birth, but the reality was that there was nothing he could do about the experience - he had no control or influence over what was going on in my body. I really needed to think about how I was in control during that situation (as much as possible) and that the midwives were ready to step in should anything go wrong. If anything I might have felt more vulnerable putting a lot of extra focus on him being in control when in reality, he wasn't. I know it's a cliche, but it really isn't about the guy at that point.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to breagha)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:29:55 AM

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honestly i hope he comes back to tell us. you are right in stating that it isn't about the guy at that point and that while his presence was comforting, he had no control. the events that were happening were all up to me and baby so that is where the focus was.

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"Consumed with memories that preceded today; given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away"

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 11:38:55 AM

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I am not judging wither way but this happens daily. In fact I witnessed this once live while doing a clinical rotation on the prison floor of a hospital.

(in reply to breagha)

RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 12:10:06 PM

stef

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Sounds like an epic wank fantasy.

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RE: home birth in chains - 3/21/2013 12:43:10 PM

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I'm a dom female. I personally dislike a lot what I have seen or heard about in the world of M/f. However, this one doesn't seem especially bad to me. If it's her idea and not dangerous, then I do not see what is so over the line about it.

The op never said that other children will be witnessing the birth. Will it be memorialized on video?

By the way, I once expressed outrage in a thread over the idea of exposing children to their parents' bdsm practices. I got very little backup and more than a little opposition.

(in reply to stef)

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