Zonie63
Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kana
quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kana
1-Condescending and dominant are not mutually exclusive. One can be both.
2-Being condescending doesn't have to be about insecurity or anything else. I'm frequently snide and condescending to those who deserve it. Doesn't make me insecure. In fact, often, it's the opposite-I'm the one guy in a crowd full of people who will say what everyone else is thinking. Frankly, as pointed out above by FF, being condescending is about offending someone-depending on the level of nuance it can be subtle or straight up in their face. I do it because i'm trying to offend someone-not to be nice or liked.
3-None of this has anything to do with whether I'm polite or how I treat waiters or any such thing. Left to my own devices, I'm a pretty polite, well mannered guy, quick with a kind comment or to do something to make others laugh.
But hit me the wrong way, act like a dickhead or try and take advantage of me, yeah, I call that shit out cold and scathingly so.
And I don't wait around, no bones about it. I speak my mind and move on, and if they have a problem with it, well, that's their problem. As a friend once said, Far far better to give a resentment than to hold one. :-)
I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking one's mind. If someone is acting like a dickhead or trying to take advantage of someone, then by all means, open up with both barrels. But to be honest, I don't see condescension as speaking one's mind or making no bones about it. It seems like just the opposite, since it's a way of expressing disapproval but not really saying it directly, but more in a left-handed and indirect manner. I see it as an impediment to direct and open communication. If someone has a problem with someone else, it's better to just say what it is in no uncertain terms, rather than beating around the bush.
Yeah. but:
A-sometimes the social situation doesn't allow for a straight up call out
B-Even if it does, sometimes it's not entirely worth the hassle
C-Then again, there are people who it's a whole lot of fun to mock to their face, especially the "smart' types who think they're all that and a bag o'chips, but they're too stupid to see that I'm killing them right to their face and they still don't get it. Yeah, those, those are priceless moments.
Nothing like watching em dig deeper.
D-There are people who deserve, nay demand, talking down too. You know, because they suck as human beings-they're a waste of fucking skin and it offends me that they breathe the same air as I do.
E-Sometimes it terrific to do this by being massively polite, in that stiff upper lip crusty manner the Brits perfected aeons ago(Nobody, and i mean nobody, can do condescending like a Englishmen who knows what he's about). Then you get all the social nuances without any of the guttural trimmings. At this point, being condescending or engaging in mockery become a wonderful act of delicate social surgery.
F-I'm kinda sociopathic in most ways. I just don't give a fuck what most people think so I don't care if they like how I act or not. If I offend them, fuck them. They're grown ups and thus responsible for their own feelings. Not me.
G-Maybe most importantly, I am, after all, a sadist. I like cruelties, both small and large. I mean hey, I'd rather take a blow torch to the asshat usually, but certain legal details prevent that from occurring, so I settle for petty spite. Does it make me a bigger, better person? Naaaaaah. But it sure as hell makes me smile, and if someone else's suffering makes my day is a happier place (See note F above), then that's an idea that I'm 100% for.
H-Who the hell says I want to have open conversation with these folks. I wanna mock em, make fun of em and skewer em, preferably in public. The very last fucking thing i want is ongoing communication...*shudder*...heck, that's why I'm being snide-so I don't hafta.
Just MHO and all.
I-Edited to add-And sometimes I'm condescending or engage in mockery because the Mods would throw my happy ass off the boards much rikki-tik if I actually spoke my mind and said what I really thought. :-0
Oh, Dear lord, if I said that, I'da lasted less than 1/2 an hour on this joint. Sad to say, its pretty much still true.
Good reply. I'll admit that sometimes, the indirect approach might be better, especially if one is in a situation where one has to "behave." I might be condescending when dealing with cops or bureaucratic clerks, since being direct with such people might lead to unfavorable consequences. But that's usually in situations where I might feel threatened and can't be totally direct. But in most social situations where there's no actual threat, then that's different.
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 
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