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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/8/2013 8:03:06 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


When you observe a dominant being condescending to another person (online, as an example, on a message board here if someone asks a dumb question), do you consider that an attractive trait? Do you admire their take charge attitude?

Even if the person asked an obviously ignorant question or behaves badly, when a dominant responds by being condescending, does that make them appear more "dominant" in the way they handle the situation - versus being patient or polite? If someone is handled in an overly nice situation, does that make the dominant appear weak?

What if it was in a situation where a dominant was being treated incompetently by waitstaff or technical people, for example. Is a condescending approach considered appropriate?

Submissives, when you observe a dominant treating a submissive (who is not their submissive partner) in a neutral situation with a clearly condescending attitude in front of other people, does that make you respect them more or less and why? If a non dominant woman treated a person in a condescending way, do you cut them less slack?

Akasha



1. When you observe a dominant being condescending to another person (online, as an example, on a message board here if someone asks a dumb question), do you consider that an attractive trait?

No not at all ... it PROVES the so called dominant is ignorant, and lacks control over their own life. So how can that person, control a sub?

2. Even if the person asked an obviously ignorant question or behaves badly, when a dominant responds by being condescending, does that make them appear more "dominant" in the way they handle the situation - versus being patient or polite? If someone is handled in an overly nice situation, does that make the dominant appear weak?

Demonstrates skill and srlf discipline. Thus perhaps, the Dominant is exhibiting the ability to control another. No?

And that is a STRONG trait.

3. Submissives, when you observe a dominant treating a submissive (who is not their submissive partner) in a neutral situation with a clearly condescending attitude in front of other people, does that make you respect them more or less and why?

See one and two above ... should be self evident.


(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/8/2013 11:34:56 PM   
marsneedswomen


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The OP seems to be searching for a justification to being condescending as if it can be used in positive manner or trait, such as in self defense to annoying people. The only scenario or situation that it would be used without the social stigma is if someone craves verbal humiliation and has an agreement with the one doing so. Other than that, there are so many better ways to express displeasure or criticism that doesn't involve condescending to others. If you have been accused of being condescending, it is meant as a rebuke to your character as a person and that you are inappropriate. Pointedly, the admonition is that you are ill mannered, disrespecting, insensitive and classless person who should know better given the amount of intelligence and upbringing you were given as a child. So when someone tells you that you are condescending it is meant as to behave in a manner given your station in life.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/9/2013 1:35:33 AM   
crazyml


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quote:

ORIGINAL: marsneedswomen

The OP seems to be searching for a justification to being condescending as if it can be used in positive manner or trait, such as in self defense to annoying people.


I don't get that vibe from the OP at all.


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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/9/2013 1:44:40 AM   
crazyml


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I've read the thread and it's been interesting.

Personally, I'd say that no, people who are generally condescending aren't attractive.

I don't think it's necessarily something that "dominant" people fall foul of, I think a lot of subs can be condescending.

But ya know... it's plain silly to write off condescension as some kind of proof that the person doesn't have an argument or lacks self control.

It could mean exactly the opposite.

Let's face it, we get some proper sea-going fuckwads here - and sometimes saying "Bless your heart" is the most appropriate response.

Certainly far more appropriate than saying "You must be the stupidest and most obnoxious person I've met all day"

So, yeah - I think condescension is a totally appropriate response in some situations.

Now... being condescending to someone for no other reason than the fact that they're a waiter or waitress - That's just plain fuckwaddery.

So yeah, I have in the past (and will in the future) resorted to the odd outburst of condescension in the face of fuckwaddery.

And if you really think that those occasional episodes are enough to judge me as some ignorant, incompetent, wrong person then... Bless your little cotton socks!

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 2:09:01 PM   
dink22


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No, it wasn't. My post was correct. Men can dominate females and there's no charge and no problem with it. Women dominate men and they want money for it. It's not a "fetish," Get real. It's prostitution. The women who do it don't like that word but it's true.

There's an old saying. "Whenever a person is about to do a despicable thing, they always dream up the noblest of reasons for doing so." That's findom. Foolish married men and greedy women who are also in denial (serious denial) and badly want to believe they are somehow doing something "good." It's not real domination. When the cash ends, so does the domination. The cash giver was always in total control. What bullshit.

< Message edited by dink22 -- 5/16/2013 2:10:29 PM >

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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 2:14:29 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


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quote:

ORIGINAL: dink22

No, it wasn't. My post was correct. Men can dominate females and there's no charge and no problem with it. Women dominate men and they want money for it. It's not a "fetish," Get real. It's prostitution. The women who do it don't like that word but it's true.

There's an old saying. "Whenever a person is about to do a despicable thing, they always dream up the noblest of reasons for doing so." That's findom. Foolish married men and greedy women who are also in denial (serious denial) and badly want to believe they are somehow doing something "good." It's not real domination. When the cash ends, so does the domination. The cash giver was always in total control. What bullshit.


Feel free to make up another word for it then, since language is so subjective and it hurts you to have domination defined in a way you dislike. But that wont make the practice go away, nor will it make people stop enjoying it. The idea of 'real' or 'true' doms and subs is a fallacy.

I don't know how you define despicable, but of the despicable things I've seen, two consenting adults exchanging money and kinky fun doesn't even register on the scale.

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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 2:18:07 PM   
MistressJude


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As much as this is a "joke" or a meme posted on the net in all honesty the level of my sarcasm or condescension is, in fact, directly proportional to how much of an idiot someone is. If you're going to ask me a stupid question that you should know or could easily discern for yourself you're going to get a snide response. If you state or restate the obvious you're going to get called out on it. Just because people don't see or hear how much of a blowhole they are doesn't mean I don't and I've got no qualms about informing them of such.

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*Don't be afraid to go out on a limb... that's where all the fruit is*
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(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 3:10:07 PM   
dink22


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quote:




two consenting adults exchanging money and kinky fun doesn't even register on the scale.



It does on my scale. It's prostitution. That's fine, but call it prostitution, not a "fetish."

< Message edited by dink22 -- 5/16/2013 3:11:21 PM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 3:44:59 PM   
littlewonder


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meh....who cares what the other person calls it? People call themselves doms but I see them as tops. Some call themselves slaves but I call them subs. So what? They're all consenting so again, who cares?

And they wouldn't be here if there wasn't a demand for it. It's business 101.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 3:56:41 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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It's better to be condescending compared to being a complete dumb ass.

This is a rather subjective topic. Some people more than deserve sarcastic
remarks, comments and Hell even the attitude associated with it.

In some ways, society is filled with a lot stupidity and even encourages
stupid as opposed to encourage intelligence.

Here's an extremely condescending thought about slum landlords which
knowingly neglect or out of pure stupidity neglect faulty electrical panels
in the properties they rent.

When a house or apartment burns down, not only can it destroy the tenants
personal and not so personal property, it can perhaps even kill them. However,
it also frequently damages the neighboring properties. It put's the risk of
firefighters lives on the line. Which can have a deep impact on the families
of those involved in putting out the fire.

It also can damage the actual firefighting equipment and vehicles as well.
Some of it is rather pricey and can't be replaced extremely quickly. Which
may effect the fire companies ability to respond to other fires for the next
week or so.

All this the result of some Dumb ass landlord, which is as stupid and careless
as box full of fucking rocks. Hell yeah, I actually feel, think, believe and know
I'm way smarter and more intelligent than somebody like this.

The politically correctness of pretending everybody is truly equal on all levels,
really in annoying.

How I view dumb ass neglectful people like this, I know without any doubts
very condescending. In fact, I wish society was way way way MORE condescending
towards Stupidity than it is. Perhaps, if it was...more people would wake the
fuck up... and start using what's inside their head.

However, I do understand the instant connection people make when dealing
with a condescending attitude... that they will label it as being narcissistic
without taking a look at their own game and how screwed up it.

People in general shift between a give set of personalities and personality
traits. However, generally focus and shift between a couple fairly easy.

Many people have some static idea or concept about personality. People's
personalities can somewhat change and adjust according to the environment,
people around them and yes also their own emotions and intelligence, or even
emotional intelligence.

This thread was started using a "box model" in an attempt to fit
things into a nice static compartmentalized view.


Anybody can be extremely condescending under the right circumstances,
situation and people involved.

Being condescending in itself, may or may not be a bad thing at times.
It can be pretty effective at times. Along with the sarcastic wit and
comments flying around.

It can also be extremely mean and painful and cruel. So, it's all about
context in my opinion.

You need to ask and think about WHY is somebody being condescending
to understand the mystery here.

A group generalization, or blanket labeling like this won't equally apply
or work.

Perhaps if you replace the word "Dominants" with "People". You'd
get "People being condescending - personality trait?"

I'd like to stress the fact that personality is a little bit more of a dynamic
thing, which tends to flex.

Some of the nicest people in the world, which would give you the shirt
off the back... have their own condescending moments..with their own
flavor of condescending personality when they are in that mode.



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(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/16/2013 5:56:51 PM   
NuevaVida


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~ Fast Reply ~

Conversations like these are always interesting to me, and even sometimes amusing. I've found just about every time I've gotten irritated over something dumb that someone has done, it's usually followed by me doing something dumb. Irony at its best.

Just like in this thread - there are those ripping on certain types of people for being stupid, when their own posts are filled with typos and grammatical errors. Not that I care about typos and such, but I find it ironic, and yet interesting about what people consider stupid vs. acceptable. We all have areas we're great in and we all have areas we're crappy in. It's life.

My thought - nobody is above having stupid moments. I'm pretty sure we all have them. That's why I lost the arrogance I once felt in my life. Life has a way of humbling.

It's also why I mostly see condescending behavior as a little amusing.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/31/2013 1:56:21 AM   
wiermen


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I Came across this Gem!

“There aren't many irritations to match the condescension which a woman metes out to a man who she believes has loved her vainly for the past umpteen years"

Edward Hoagland.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? - 5/31/2013 4:17:38 AM   
Greta75


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One of my requirements of a dominant that would suit me is kindness and patience. So if he shown impatience and condescension, he and I will probably not work well together.

But condescension is not exclusive to doms on here. They are quite the minority from what I've seen so far.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 5/31/2013 4:18:34 AM >

(in reply to wiermen)
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