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Dom is different - 6/8/2013 10:15:02 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 10:26:40 PM

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

He's just not into you.

edit: btw - Count your blessings - he's too much of a coward to actually tell you that he's not into you so, in the long run, you're better off. Don't settle so quickly next time.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 6/8/2013 10:29:33 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 10:27:53 PM

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Why just a dom? It is apparent he met you and found he is not that into you. Some guys like the chase, but don't know what to do with the fish when it is on the line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 10:42:03 PM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472
have had my Dom for two months

quote:

Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did

Here's the thing: You didn't have a Dom for two months. You were talking to some guy on the internet for two months.

Then you finally met and I'm assuming had sex. Now, he's distant.

I'd say the hunt is over, he took the free sex and is no longer interested.

This is a perfect example of why many of us tell people that until you meet face to face, you don't really know that person. It's why many of us tell people to not get too invested in online interaction or involved in a dynamic before you've met. It's why many of us tell people not to play or have sex on the first meeting.

I know your feelings are probably hurt, but I would suggest dusting yourself off, learning from your experience and find someone else.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 10:57:53 PM

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Along with what the others have said, I'm going to guess that perhaps he is busy with his wife. Instead of you keeping yourself busy with your own husband and kids, you are busy pining away for a man who fucked you and then vanished.

I'm sure you will find many others who are willing to fuck you behind your husband's back, so don't worry, someone else will come along shortly.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 11:16:18 PM

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

If you ask for a Dom then you are sure to get this bunch. I could almost have guessed who they were before looking and that last post about your husband (and kids!!!) was really nasty and way over the line, don't you think? They must not be getting any. For sure.

Well, a Dom has shown up to see your post. It's like this, he's met you once and then figured out finally this relationship with a woman he can see about every two months is not going to work out. Unfortunately he forgot to tell you. That is the bad news. The good news is you don't care because you're looking for more and he is not in that category and you deserve better because you are really trying and he not-so-much. So, find someone local and forget this first Dom. Try munches locally and that other website FL can clue you in on those.

You know, first Doms are like first boyfriends or first husbands for that matter, you eventually realize "the first" was not the best, although she did have great boobs in my case.

Well wishes,
Arturas

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 11:37:16 PM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

Yep, nothing like real life to burst the fantasy based bubble. I've been through it several times. Seems like you have a great rapport; lotsa complimenting D/s chemistry etc. And "poof", it (r/l) occurs to you that the other isn't actually someone you'd otherwise ask up for a dance at some club in the vanilla world. Or say "yes" to being asked....

Lesson for me was that if I find someone online (not that I proactively look anymore for the same reasons), then I push for a r/l meet asap. Saves an awful lot of typing and general personal investment. Online, it's all about the D/s fantasies and buggar-all about whether you actually like each other in the everyday. R/l fixes that up in seconds - which is likely what happened to you.

All you've got left is to stop chasing after him for answers. The ol' female faithful of playing hard to get strategy. Personally, I think that ship's already sailed but you can still salvage some dignity by giving him the full cold shoulder.

And welcome to CM anyway. :)

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/8/2013 11:39:16 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

He isn't being truthful and telling you that he's not interested any longer. Take the kink out of it, see what you're left with - a man who after he met you, isn't pursuing contact with you any longer. It seems as though you should follow his example and let things go too.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 3:33:07 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Cuteness2472, your profile is geared toward this. You're cheating on your husband and looking for a play-only relationship. Your ideal match is a man cheating on his wife. And your complaint is that your Dom lacks commitment. What did you expect?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lizi)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 7:44:13 AM

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

Could be a lot of reasons. You say you have had him for 2 months. How long did you know him before that? It's possible that after meeting you he wasn't as interested and just doesn't have the balls to say so. Or maybe he had second thoughts about fooling around with a married women. He might have thought about it and decided he couldn't trust you. After all you have no problems lying to your husband, why would you be honest with this guy. That alone would have had me running for the hills. It's also possible that he has met someone else and decided he preferred her to you. Or maybe he is also married and his wife found his computer. You just never know. The only thing you can be sure of is some people lie and you have to be very careful who you hook up with. After reading your profile I would have thought you would have known that part already.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 8:43:12 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

You got what your profile says you want. Someone to have NSA sex on the side with. Well, you had that. What more did you expect? True love and a proposal of marriage? You need to figure out what you want.

BTW, who is paying for the hotel room? Maybe he can't afford that every week. Can you?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to thishereboi)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 8:58:34 AM

Moonlightmaddnes

Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Cuteness2472, your profile is geared toward this. You're cheating on your husband and looking for a play-only relationship. Your ideal match is a man cheating on his wife. And your complaint is that your Dom lacks commitment. What did you expect?

Off topic but we were at a BBQ last night and this guy that worked for my husband was there with the girl he cheated on his wife with. I glanced at her and told my husband, he cheated on his wife for that? Ewe. He nodded and said yep he traded in a Lamborghini for a station wagon.

To the OP you talked and it sounded like fun then you met. Then it was not so much what he thought it would be. Move on and be happy you were not emotionally invested before finding that out.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that must be earned. It can be given, but never taken

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:35:15 AM

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You got what your profile says you want. Someone to have NSA sex on the side with.

Carol's general impression is that the demand for an ongoing relationship definitely counts as an attached string. :)

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:38:55 AM

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/1/2013
Status: offline

I checked out a lot of threads before I posted and as I understand it anyone can post on any of the forums they choose. The divisions are more for the topics so people can find what they are interested in. She asked a questions and got answers. They were not nasty they were honest. The only nastiness I have seen so far is coming from you. Maybe your the one not getting any.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472

Hi I have a question for a Dom, I am new and have had my Dom for two months we both have other lives it makes complicated but is what is. Anyhow we finally met up last week and since then he hasn't pursued me the way he did, he still talks to me but not as much. He says busy but we both have made time for our little acts and vice versa, dirty talks videos. Etc.before now he's just I don't know a bit different . I have told him he has appologized. Told him how I felt. It's hard to hook up. Didn't know this in beginning didn't think it would be so difficult on his part. I get kinda pissed when i see him on here and hes not im me or emailing me, i dont care hes looking around at stuff on here cause i do too. he has me on here journaling and everything. But there's no going back. Any advice as a Dom.

If you ask for a Dom then you are sure to get this bunch. I could almost have guessed who they were before looking and that last post about your husband (and kids!!!) was really nasty and way over the line, don't you think? They must not be getting any. For sure.

Well, a Dom has shown up to see your post. It's like this, he's met you once and then figured out finally this relationship with a woman he can see about every two months is not going to work out. Unfortunately he forgot to tell you. That is the bad news. The good news is you don't care because you're looking for more and he is not in that category and you deserve better because you are really trying and he not-so-much. So, find someone local and forget this first Dom. Try munches locally and that other website FL can clue you in on those.

You know, first Doms are like first boyfriends or first husbands for that matter, you eventually realize "the first" was not the best, although she did have great boobs in my case.

Well wishes,
Arturas

(in reply to Arturas)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:39:49 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Cuteness2472, your profile is geared toward this. You're cheating on your husband and looking for a play-only relationship. Your ideal match is a man cheating on his wife. And your complaint is that your Dom lacks commitment. What did you expect?

Well, yeah, there's that too. I mean he's being awful to most important person in his life, so why would someone who isn't the most important person expect better treatment? And he's already proven that he lacks integrity.

Her profile asks to be treated like a piece on the side and that's what she got.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:43:59 AM

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaceeTracee
I checked out a lot of threads before I posted and as I understand it anyone can post on any of the forums they choose.

That is correct. Either that or I'm a mistress in which case I've been cheated out of my set of boobies. :)

I think of the divisions as a way for the poster to help me understand what door they are coming out of with their question.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to LaceeTracee)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:44:25 AM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

To all of you who has replied thank u for your thoughts. I only wanted to hear from a doms perspective . If I wanted a mistress or sub view I would of posted there. I know I didn't detail more about my question. Yes I know the answers to my questions I just wanted to here some other thoughts no harm in asking. So if someone wants to begrudge fine. My Dom and I are both married and yes I do know situation and we don't live to far from one another. Both our lives are chaotic. He still wants to be my dom and take me however and whenever he can . He talks to me on I'm and cm and phone too it just was different this week. We all have our issues. I was speaking w him last night. If he chose not to talk to me no more he wd tell me he's very blunt and honest. Anyhow thx everyone,

(in reply to Moonlightmaddnes)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:46:40 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuteness2472
I only wanted to hear from a doms perspective . If I wanted a mistress or sub view I would of posted there.

The guidelines state that anyone can post anywhere, anyone can reply to any post and that you don't get to control who replies.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:48:16 AM

Posts: 14412
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
Either that or I'm a mistress in which case I've been cheated out of my set of boobies. :)

If you had boobies, you'd never manage to leave the house.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to JeffBC)

RE: Dom is different - 6/9/2013 10:48:21 AM

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/13/2013
Status: offline

And there is no need to be nasty about anything. I don't go and trash your profiles.

(in reply to Cuteness2472)

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