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I have to go down the stairs to get to a place to walk...

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

Saw the neurosurgeon this morning...he says that the surgery caused a fracture and that he can't even see anything in my facet joints that they were supposed to of put in there during surgery. He says I can't do physical therapy for at least 8 weeks to see if it will heal. He prescribed flexeril (sp?) and refills on the hydrocodone. I go back in 8 weeks to see if the fracture is healing and then maybe start PT. He is going to do some research on the surgery...he thinks the doctor basically committed medicaid fraud. We will see what happens.

Did you tell this new doctor that you are likely a much slower than average healer?
Did you explain that you are bulimic and can't possibly get adequate nutrition to facilitate healing?

I told him I don't eat much. Then he suggested gastric bypass. LOL

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP isn't going to tell her doctors, they don't care, remember? If she tells them, her whole treatment will change and focus on what needs to be focused on instead of what she wants.

Just like she is blaming the doctor who operated on her back for the fracture. No proof og that and entirely possible it was caused by her weight.

Everyones suggestions include her eating a healthy diet, which she has no intention of doing. She knows better than us, her doctors, nutrionists, ect. She is even lying to herself by saying its her slow metabolism that has gottten her to this weight. Its simply not possible to consume less than 300 calories a day and gain weight even if your resting calorie burn is 500. She is eating other junk and not moving beyond going down the stairs to see another doctor she won't tell the whole truth to.

This is all a funny game to her. "I told the doctor I don't eat much....LOL."

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP isn't going to tell her doctors, they don't care, remember? If she tells them, her whole treatment will change and focus on what needs to be focused on instead of what she wants.

Just like she is blaming the doctor who operated on her back for the fracture. No proof og that and entirely possible it was caused by her weight.

Everyones suggestions include her eating a healthy diet, which she has no intention of doing. She knows better than us, her doctors, nutrionists, ect. She is even lying to herself by saying its her slow metabolism that has gottten her to this weight. Its simply not possible to consume less than 300 calories a day and gain weight even if your resting calorie burn is 500. She is eating other junk and not moving beyond going down the stairs to see another doctor she won't tell the whole truth to.

This is all a funny game to her. "I told the doctor I don't eat much....LOL."

As I've said...I've gained weight during periods of attempting recovery and following meal plans given to me by dietitians. Most of the time, I maintain. They always tell me that eventually my body will adjust to the increase in calories and I will stop gaining...and I tried really hard to wait it out but after gaining 100 lbs last time, I gave up again.

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

Saw the neurosurgeon this morning...he says that the surgery caused a fracture and that he can't even see anything in my facet joints that they were supposed to of put in there during surgery. He says I can't do physical therapy for at least 8 weeks to see if it will heal. He prescribed flexeril (sp?) and refills on the hydrocodone. I go back in 8 weeks to see if the fracture is healing and then maybe start PT. He is going to do some research on the surgery...he thinks the doctor basically committed medicaid fraud. We will see what happens.

Did you tell this new doctor that you are likely a much slower than average healer?
Did you explain that you are bulimic and can't possibly get adequate nutrition to facilitate healing?

I told him I don't eat much. Then he suggested gastric bypass. LOL

You say you don't lie.
But only saying you don't eat much is a lie of omission.
You had an opportunity to say to him: "I am not a good candidate for the surgery right now because I am bulimic."

How do you expect to heal a fracture when you don't have the proper nutrition to support healing?
Does your new primary doctor know you are bulimic?
Perhaps now would be a good time to give him/her a call to discuss vitamin D and to set up an appointment with a dietician to discuss how to nutritionally support your healing.

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP isn't going to tell her doctors, they don't care, remember? If she tells them, her whole treatment will change and focus on what needs to be focused on instead of what she wants.

Just like she is blaming the doctor who operated on her back for the fracture. No proof og that and entirely possible it was caused by her weight.

Everyones suggestions include her eating a healthy diet, which she has no intention of doing. She knows better than us, her doctors, nutrionists, ect. She is even lying to herself by saying its her slow metabolism that has gottten her to this weight. Its simply not possible to consume less than 300 calories a day and gain weight even if your resting calorie burn is 500. She is eating other junk and not moving beyond going down the stairs to see another doctor she won't tell the whole truth to.

This is all a funny game to her. "I told the doctor I don't eat much....LOL."

As I've said...I've gained weight during periods of attempting recovery and following meal plans given to me by dietitians. Most of the time, I maintain. They always tell me that eventually my body will adjust to the increase in calories and I will stop gaining...and I tried really hard to wait it out but after gaining 100 lbs last time, I gave up again.

Your metabolism is screwed up.
Bariatric surgery probably will help you tremendously but you will have to stop purging.
Lies of omission will only hurt you.

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You fucked up your metabolism good and truly, you will need to bring it back to speed or at least a halfway reasonable rate, but that can't be done as long as you are purging, once you are better, there are a ton of things you can eat that will boost your metabolism, right now you would only bring them up again, yes, some of those things might also include drinking and eating things you don't like, but not liking something is pretty relative when you have getting better as a chance.

As long as you do purge, you aren't in recovery, just like a smoker who cuts down is still smoking, you to address the purging and you must have the will to stop it, the rest can all be handled, not immediately and it won't be an easy way, in fact, I'm sure it will be rocky and hard as hell, but it seems you are the one who has given up, where's the courage in your sig line?

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

There is something you're getting from staying unhealthy. . But you get something from it that is more important to you than being able to move on with your life. If you didn't have these excuses, you would have to face yourself in other ways. You couldn't keep saying that it's your weight that prevents you from getting a good career or being loved. Perhaps it's just the addiction to self pity. Whatever it is, it's of maximum importance to you and until you grow a pair and address these issues, nothing will change. Because you don't want anything to change.

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

You might feel nauseous and have the acid reflux because there isn't anything in your stomach but acid?

You might try some oatmeal, can't say I like it myself, but it's full of fiber (and you need to get your digestion track slowly up again) and would possibly settle your stomach acid. I think it's great that you're aiming for 3 days, once you get that done (and I think you will) try to move it up.

If you are loved, then it seems to be really really cruel to kill the person he loves slowly but surely.

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP isn't going to tell her doctors, they don't care, remember? If she tells them, her whole treatment will change and focus on what needs to be focused on instead of what she wants.

Just like she is blaming the doctor who operated on her back for the fracture. No proof og that and entirely possible it was caused by her weight.

Everyones suggestions include her eating a healthy diet, which she has no intention of doing. She knows better than us, her doctors, nutrionists, ect. She is even lying to herself by saying its her slow metabolism that has gottten her to this weight. Its simply not possible to consume less than 300 calories a day and gain weight even if your resting calorie burn is 500. She is eating other junk and not moving beyond going down the stairs to see another doctor she won't tell the whole truth to.

This is all a funny game to her. "I told the doctor I don't eat much....LOL."

As I've said...I've gained weight during periods of attempting recovery and following meal plans given to me by dietitians. Most of the time, I maintain. They always tell me that eventually my body will adjust to the increase in calories and I will stop gaining...and I tried really hard to wait it out but after gaining 100 lbs last time, I gave up again.

Your metabolism is screwed up.
Bariatric surgery probably will help you tremendously but you will have to stop purging.
Lies of omission will only hurt you.

I think it would make things a lot worse as I hate the feeling of food in my stomach and I'd feel it after just one bite after surgery...so it's unlikely I would eat at all. Which sure, would cause weight loss...but it would also kill me. My old treatment team was very much against me ever having the surgery. They told me some of their sickest patients are ones who have had gastric bypass.

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

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ORIGINAL: dollparts85

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP isn't going to tell her doctors, they don't care, remember? If she tells them, her whole treatment will change and focus on what needs to be focused on instead of what she wants.

Just like she is blaming the doctor who operated on her back for the fracture. No proof og that and entirely possible it was caused by her weight.

Everyones suggestions include her eating a healthy diet, which she has no intention of doing. She knows better than us, her doctors, nutrionists, ect. She is even lying to herself by saying its her slow metabolism that has gottten her to this weight. Its simply not possible to consume less than 300 calories a day and gain weight even if your resting calorie burn is 500. She is eating other junk and not moving beyond going down the stairs to see another doctor she won't tell the whole truth to.

This is all a funny game to her. "I told the doctor I don't eat much....LOL."

As I've said...I've gained weight during periods of attempting recovery and following meal plans given to me by dietitians. Most of the time, I maintain. They always tell me that eventually my body will adjust to the increase in calories and I will stop gaining...and I tried really hard to wait it out but after gaining 100 lbs last time, I gave up again.

Your metabolism is screwed up.
Bariatric surgery probably will help you tremendously but you will have to stop purging.
Lies of omission will only hurt you.

I think it would make things a lot worse as I hate the feeling of food in my stomach and I'd feel it after just one bite after surgery...so it's unlikely I would eat at all. Which sure, would cause weight loss...but it would also kill me. My old treatment team was very much against me ever having the surgery. They told me some of their sickest patients are ones who have had gastric bypass.

You were the one who had posted about lying about purging to get the surgery.

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There is something you're getting from staying unhealthy. . But you get something from it that is more important to you than being able to move on with your life. If you didn't have these excuses, you would have to face yourself in other ways. You couldn't keep saying that it's your weight that prevents you from getting a good career [snip]. Perhaps it's just the addiction to self pity. Whatever it is, it's of maximum importance to you and until you grow a pair and address these issues, nothing will change. Because you don't want anything to change.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I asked myself I could make just one recommendation for you, what would it be? What's helped me the most? I realized it was learning to bear strong emotion - finding other means of coping besides sex, drugs, booze, and food. And what was the most helpful with that is Yoga For Emotional Flow. This has no yoga postures - Part 1 is yoga philosophy coupled with modern psycho-therapeutic concepts, and Part 2 is guided meditations based on Part 1.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

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There is something you're getting from staying unhealthy. . But you get something from it that is more important to you than being able to move on with your life. If you didn't have these excuses, you would have to face yourself in other ways. You couldn't keep saying that it's your weight that prevents you from getting a good career [snip]. Perhaps it's just the addiction to self pity. Whatever it is, it's of maximum importance to you and until you grow a pair and address these issues, nothing will change. Because you don't want anything to change.

Indeed, which I think the single most helpful thing would be learning how to manage the feelings that cause negative coping behaviors, for which I found this very useful:

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

I asked myself I could make just one recommendation for you, what would it be? What's helped me the most? I realized it was learning to bear strong emotion - finding other means of coping besides sex, drugs, booze, and food. And what was the most helpful with that is Yoga For Emotional Flow. This has no yoga postures - Part 1 is yoga philosophy coupled with modern psycho-therapeutic concepts, and Part 2 is guided meditations based on Part 1.

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I am loved. Master loves me and I know he does. He tells me several times a day how much he loves me and appreciates what I do for him. I just wish I could be better for him.