Aihal
Posts: 23
Joined: 9/17/2014 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: InHisHeart quote:
ORIGINAL: Aihal And when it comes to Slave VS Submissive and what definition you use and why in your private life, is exactly that; in your private life. On this we agree. However when it comes to those definitions outside of your private life, you(generally speaking, not directed at IrishMist) must make sure to understand that those terms are probably being used the way they're supposed to be, and that your personal definitions do not apply. And this thread, the first few responses I got to it, is a perfect example of why that is. Just as in your private life, outside of your private life it depends on who you talk to and what their definition of slave and submissive are. Ask 10 different people, get 10 different definitions. When looking for a relationship, just make sure both people are on the same page with what they want. The only definition that matters is that whatever they define themselves as, they both agree with. As for real life relationships, there are a lot of people on the message boards that are in real life relationships, not just on-line. I've been with Master for 7 years, our relationship is 24/7 D/s, we live together but are not married. My previous relationship was over 20 years, it was also a 24/7 D/s relationship and we were married. I don't understand why you feel people that are married can't also live the lifestyle 24/7. I didn't say that at all. I make a differentiation between Slave and Submissive. No one else here does, is my point. A Slave is submissive, but a Submissive is not a Slave. Submissives agree to soft and hard boundaries of their own design, while Slaves agree to their Master's boundaries. Because the axiom of the Slave is that they have no agency (or at least very, very little compared to Submissives), and they trust their Master to fulfill their needs. Which is why I didn't understand people referencing their spouses as Slaves, and what made me make this post to begin with. Because by every established definition of the term 'Slave', kink and non-kink, the position of a spouse and the position of a Slave (not a Submissive that you call a Slave because it sounds sexier to you), doesn't work logically or functionally. It's either not an actual Master/Slave relationship, or it's an extremely niche semblance of being in a relationship. As everyone described above, they are adamant that both parties are equal in these relationships; for non-kink relationships this should absolutely be true, and for most kink relationships as well. But in a Master/Slave relationship beyond moral semantics about innate Human equality there is a very specific agreement that one is lesser than the other, it is essentially the entire point. You can't have equality and an actual Master/Slave relationship simultaneously. You can call your D/s relationships Master/Slave ones if you find it titillating, or if it pushes your buttons in all the right places; but do not mistake your fantasy for reality, please.
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