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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:04:36 AM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

2. We're not in close physical proximity so that even if someone does send out verbal harassment....as happens very often in our private mailboxes, there is no threat of physical harm....all we need to do is hit "delete"

What about "ignoring"?

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:07:31 AM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

2. We're not in close physical proximity so that even if someone does send out verbal harassment....as happens very often in our private mailboxes, there is no threat of physical harm....all we need to do is hit "delete"

What about "ignoring"?

What do you mean? Ignoring real life cat calls...or ignoring rude emails?

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:10:11 AM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

2. We're not in close physical proximity so that even if someone does send out verbal harassment....as happens very often in our private mailboxes, there is no threat of physical harm....all we need to do is hit "delete"

What about "ignoring"?

What do you mean? Ignoring real life cat calls...or ignoring rude emails?

Ignoring real life "cat calls".

Honestly....if some guy says "hey beautiful, what's up?" as you're walking by...are you really physically threatened every time?

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:28:47 AM

shiftyw

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Exactly smiles. Exactly.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:33:01 AM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

2. We're not in close physical proximity so that even if someone does send out verbal harassment....as happens very often in our private mailboxes, there is no threat of physical harm....all we need to do is hit "delete"

What about "ignoring"?

What do you mean? Ignoring real life cat calls...or ignoring rude emails?

Ignoring real life "cat calls".

Honestly....if some guy says "hey beautiful, what's up?" as you're walking by...are you really physically threatened every time?

No....but I was comparing the difference between being complimented by people online that you are at least familiar with vs being cat called by a total stranger on a street corner. If you ignore that guy on the street and he gets pissed off, there is a greater chance (even if it slim) of him invading your personal space or harming you than there is of being physically harmed by someone who sends you a rude email online.

I was comparing the two to demonstrate why swifty shouldn't feel strange about accepting compliments from the people here while we are at the same time talking about not liking unsolicited "compliments" from strangers on the street.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:34:09 AM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

...Must be an American thing.

I highly doubt that. 80 % of Egyptian women and 90% of foreign women in Egypt ADMIT to being harassed and groped on the street.

Why "admit" in all caps? Because like as not, she will be accused of being provocative.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:37:20 AM

shiftyw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

2. We're not in close physical proximity so that even if someone does send out verbal harassment....as happens very often in our private mailboxes, there is no threat of physical harm....all we need to do is hit "delete"

What about "ignoring"?

What do you mean? Ignoring real life cat calls...or ignoring rude emails?

Ignoring real life "cat calls".

Honestly....if some guy says "hey beautiful, what's up?" as you're walking by...are you really physically threatened every time?

No. But it does make me walk faster, feel really uncomfortable, and made me want to disappear everytime.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:39:43 AM

ThePrincessKali

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IMO opinion what I've experienced is a lot worse than the video. Granted I live in a major city, so that may have something to do with it. But I've had the most horrific, awful, obscenely sexual things one can imagine while jogging or walking my dog in work out pants and a hoodie.

I had a particularly brutal incident occur a few years ago on Halloween. Three young men were walking behind my friends and I as we walked to our car in a Parking lot that's supposed to be monitored by workers, which apparently it wasn't. The young men kept telling us we should "party with them after" and saying how we had nice asses and asking us if we liked to "have fun." We ignored them and they followed us for several minutes. Eventually I got fed up and three a drink in their general direction. I had a plastic cup of soda with me. They grabbed my friend and started kicking and punching her in the abdomen. I tried to intervene and was punched twice in the face and chest. They then ran and I chased my attacker down the street and a stranger grabbed him as the cops pulled up. A second man returned to his vehicle as the cops were there and was also arrested.

This is the most extreme form of street harassment I've experienced but like I said compared to what I've dealt with, I think the video was mild.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:45:55 AM

tj444

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

You can also say "Sure...if she walks around for TEN hours OF COURSE she's going to hear SOME comments from SOMEBODY. The point wasn't to demonstrate how often it might happen in ten hours, the point of the video was to demonstrate how it happens SO OFTEN that it literally happens EVERY DAY for some women, and it happens so often that it gets VERY annoying and in some cases downright scary. Most men don't realize that even in this day and age a lot of women are still brought up and taught to be wary of strange men. "Don't talk to strangers" "Don't hitchhike or take rides from strangers" "If you meet someone online....meet them in a public place". We have been....and still are....brought up and taught to be aware of the possibility of sexual assault and our vulnerability to such things. For some women, it's a thought they always have in the back of their minds. A lot of women...even today....feel kind of nervous when they find themselves in a situation where they are surrounded by strange men. To be walking down the street and have to walk down a virtual gauntlet of strange men with many or most of them making (direct or indirect) comments about your body and appearance, very often is not taken as a compliment, it is taken as a potential threat. A couple of the guys in the video got a bit upset when she ignored them, and some men don't take being ignored very well....who's to say that any one of those men weren't going to get pissed at her ignoring them and strike out at her in some way? There's also the possibility that if she would have acknowledged any of these men in any way that they would have taken it as an invitation to try to pursue her, and if she isn't interested in pursuing further contact with a stranger on the street, that's her right to do what she can to discourage them from going any further.

she has gotten online rape threats as a result of the vid.. she is an actress, her name is in the articles, she could very well be in real danger if any of those men find out where she lives, works, or goes and decide to attack her... 7 million views.. can't tell me that one or more of those couldn't be nutbars that would actually do that.. (or do guys think getting a rape threat is a "compliment"???

)

"The video was posted on YouTube, and Roberts has now received rape threats over social media, CBS2’s Hsu reported."

"“What people don’t understand is that as a woman when you walk down the street, you don’t know when ‘hey baby’ or ‘hey sexy’ is going to escalate to something much, much worse,” said Emily May of Hollaback!"

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2014/10/29/video-woman-gets-catcalled-more-than-100-times-in-10-hours-while-walking-in-nyc/

And 1 in 10 women have changed jobs due to this harassment as they commute to and from work..

"For many women it often comes down to a big choice: continue suffering or change jobs. One in 10 women opt for the latter,"

http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/13/sexual-harassment-women-commuter-forbes-woman-leadership-workplace.html

< Message edited by tj444 -- 11/3/2014 11:49:40 AM >

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:48:55 AM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

...Must be an American thing.

I highly doubt that. 80 % of Egyptian women and 90% of foreign women in Egypt ADMIT to being harassed and groped on the street.

Why "admit" in all caps? Because like as not, she will be accused of being provocative.

That would be expected of any Muslim-style country.
But we are talking about the USA here - completely different kettle of fish.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:50:07 AM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

I was comparing the two to demonstrate why swifty shouldn't feel strange about accepting compliments from the people here while we are at the same time talking about not liking unsolicited "compliments" from strangers on the street.

For sure, there's a difference.... just like if any one of us were to go out with friends, in the non-virtual world. We accept the "OMG, I LOVE that dress" from people we know...and don't from random others. (Or sometimes, we accept it from random strangers with a polite thanks and nod of the head...)

For argument's sake though... those people who politely (or not) make unsolicited comments in non-virtual life... is there REALLY a threat of harm for the most part? I mean, honestly...for people to view this video and not want to visit New York??

Yup...there are some people who are boors. There are some people who think that it's ok to make a comment about someone's ass as they walk by. (Again, making a COMPLETE distinction here between the odd comment and the following or threatening....) This is GOING to happen. People are stupid. Frankly though, I'd rather it be in fucking midtown Manhattan than any other place in the world. Same thing on the net. Actually, I'd be more concerned on the net because it's not nearly as public.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 11:56:37 AM

Charles6682

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I've seen this video already. Its been all over the TV and the internet. I won't jump to conclusions but if this does happen to women more than what is realized, then the guys doing this are nothing more than animals. Now, I don't see where saying hi to someone is considered harassment. However, some of the guys in the video clearly where creeping her out. I mean, following her for minutes at a time. Saying useless comments trying to appeal to her. If some women like the catcalls, then more power to you. But if some women don't want the catcalls and creepy men stalking them, then they have their rights as well. But no, a simple hello is fine. I think almost anyone with common sense should know the difference.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 12:10:38 PM

hlen5

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

...Must be an American thing.

I highly doubt that. 80 % of Egyptian women and 90% of foreign women in Egypt ADMIT to being harassed and groped on the street.

Why "admit" in all caps? Because like as not, she will be accused of being provocative.

That would be expected of any Muslim-style country.
But we are talking about the USA here - completely different kettle of fish.

The point is, it happens everywhere. Even when the "modest" hijab is involved.

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 11/3/2014 12:11:38 PM >

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 12:29:25 PM

freedomdwarf1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

...Must be an American thing.

I highly doubt that. 80 % of Egyptian women and 90% of foreign women in Egypt ADMIT to being harassed and groped on the street.

Why "admit" in all caps? Because like as not, she will be accused of being provocative.

That would be expected of any Muslim-style country.
But we are talking about the USA here - completely different kettle of fish.

The point is, it happens everywhere. Even when the "modest" hijab is involved.

You are missing the point.
In Muslim-styled countries, men rule and women are lower than 3rd-class citizens.
Women must do what their menfolk tell them.

And in Muslim-styled countries, women must cover up otherwise they are considered to be inviting trouble by being 'provocative'.

That state of mind and societal position is not in place in the majority of the USA and non-Muslim countries.
So the point is..... in non-Muslim countries, that attitude isn't prevalent.

So your claim of 'everywhere' to the extreme of actually being harassed and groped in the streets and nothing being done about it is because... Muslim men do that as part of their culture and women don't even count as people.
It is normal and expected and for the most part, there is no law against it.
It is extremely common for such behaviour in pretty much most countries where the population is Islamic based or Islamic controlled.
Even rape is common but women cannot usually gain a conviction because of Islamic/cultural expectations.
In India, it is illegal. But because a huge swathe of the population is Muslim/Hindu/Islamic, the men get away with not even being arrested let alone prosecuted.

Which is why, in most non-Muslim countries, that sort of behaviour is usually illegal to some degree.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 12:41:03 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

It happens to men, too. Some people in this thread are saying that "this doesn't happen to men," but that's just not true at all. However, I would concede that it probably happens a lot more for women than for men.

When it does happen, from a woman and directed at a man, it's more likely just to be an annoyance. Intimidating - nope, I wouldn't say that's common.

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 1:00:54 PM

SweetForDaddy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The chance that they could pick up and get a date with a woman on the street is pretty much nil. So they're just letting out their inner nasty child.

I did notice that none of the men in the video that harassed her looked like they could possibly ever get into any woman's pants ever, physically unattractive and also, no proper social skills.

But it also speaks alot about their level of education. A good experiment would be to interview every single man who disturbed her, what is the level of their education and if it's co-related and it probably is.

Someone did actually stop and interview all the men that cat called her:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/07/22/one-woman-had-enough-of-catcalling-on-the-street-heres-what-she-does-to-her-hecklers/

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 2:15:32 PM

smileforme50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The chance that they could pick up and get a date with a woman on the street is pretty much nil. So they're just letting out their inner nasty child.

I did notice that none of the men in the video that harassed her looked like they could possibly ever get into any woman's pants ever, physically unattractive and also, no proper social skills.

But it also speaks alot about their level of education. A good experiment would be to interview every single man who disturbed her, what is the level of their education and if it's co-related and it probably is.

Someone did actually stop and interview all the men that cat called her:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/07/22/one-woman-had-enough-of-catcalling-on-the-street-heres-what-she-does-to-her-hecklers/

Wow.....I read that article from The Blaze....and then I scrolled down and read the comments from people (mostly men??) ...if those comments are any indication, there is absolutely NO hope that this situation will get any better. Sad....

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 2:39:23 PM

Spiritedsub2

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-fr

It reminds me a little of the messages women get on this site (and probably others like it). Men who harass women, send sexually explicit and stupid uninvited messages to women they don't know, end up unable to connect with a woman. And they wonder why. And the men who engage in the street harassment similarly don't end up with the woman.

That just clears out the throng for those astute and perceptive men who don't engage in that behavior, and who consequently have their pick of women.

As awful as the street harassment is, like another poster mentioned, it dies down some when we get middle-aged. Yet another perk

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 3:38:36 PM

shiftyw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smileforme50

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetForDaddy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The chance that they could pick up and get a date with a woman on the street is pretty much nil. So they're just letting out their inner nasty child.

I did notice that none of the men in the video that harassed her looked like they could possibly ever get into any woman's pants ever, physically unattractive and also, no proper social skills.

But it also speaks alot about their level of education. A good experiment would be to interview every single man who disturbed her, what is the level of their education and if it's co-related and it probably is.

Someone did actually stop and interview all the men that cat called her:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/07/22/one-woman-had-enough-of-catcalling-on-the-street-heres-what-she-does-to-her-hecklers/

Wow.....I read that article from The Blaze....and then I scrolled down and read the comments from people (mostly men??) ...if those comments are any indication, there is absolutely NO hope that this situation will get any better. Sad....

I'm a member of several (I'm gonna say the dirty f word)- feminist groups- on facebook. And I have a couple douchebag bro friends...the comments that have been happening where ever this is posted, are brutal and make me lose all hope.

This article alone:

http://www.vox.com/2014/10/29/7088867/catcall-video-hollaback-rape-threats

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RE: 10 hours of walking in NYC as a woman - 11/3/2014 3:51:30 PM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug
Honestly....if some guy says "hey beautiful, what's up?" as you're walking by...are you really physically threatened every time?

Of course not. But you don't know which time you will be physically threatened if you do or don't respond.

And this happens to every female once she's old enough to be in middle school.
Should a 12 year old walking from her brother's baseball game to the ice cream store one block away have a group of 20something males slow down and say things to her? Should she be frightened when they pull over to the curb and one starts to get out?

This happened to my daughter and we live in a small town. This was not in NYC.

Should an adult male in his 30s come upon a 14 year old girl feeding a horse and prevent her from getting back to the other kids and adults 200' up the hill in the barn? No. But it did. I happened to be going to the barn, stopped the car, sent the kid up the hill and made it clear that if he had any business there to call the number on the sign at the bottom of the driveway. And then I called the barn owner who called the police.

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