Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: hazing new posters


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: hazing new posters Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:08:30 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:




Even after looking that up, I can get no sense out of it.


quote:

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cock+block
Urban Dictionary
cock block. One who prevents another from scoring sexually. (with M3 even though it's still a pie in the sky dream.)


But you don't have a cock, GM, on account of you're female.

Oh never mind. I have a headache.



< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 12/5/2014 10:09:51 AM >


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to GoddessManko)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:14:10 AM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline
Lol. Your pretty good. Naughty naughty.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:34:56 AM   
HeartAndSoul31


Posts: 148
Status: offline
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FgvfRSzmMoU that's the haze!

(in reply to HeartAndSoul31)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 3:14:57 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
You'll see it all the time with messages on the other side. My inbox here and on Fet is flooded with guys who think that because we're on a kink site, the regular rules of engagement don't apply and it's perfectly acceptable to demand blowjobs and cam sessions.


Well, this thread is meant to be able the forums not people harassing you by mail, which I agree isn't ok.

As for communications by text it is rather different in that you aren't getting visual or audio feedback as you express yourself. For instance new posters often will ask a question without giving us enough context to understand what they're talking about. In person our confusion would be visually obvious and the person would immediately clarify, in text...not so much.

And I've seen conversations go horribly wrong over that. Some posters instead of asking for clarification will assume the worst possibility and unleash the negativity.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 3:21:21 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
You'll see it all the time with messages on the other side. My inbox here and on Fet is flooded with guys who think that because we're on a kink site, the regular rules of engagement don't apply and it's perfectly acceptable to demand blowjobs and cam sessions.


Well, this thread is meant to be able the forums not people harassing you by mail, which I agree isn't ok.

That was really meant to be an example of the mentality, not an attempt to change the topic. The same mentality that exists when a HNG messages someone carries over to the forums with a lot of these new posters.

As for the rest, that's a still quality true of any part of the internet and not exclusive to Collarchat.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 3:22:21 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:




Even after looking that up, I can get no sense out of it.


quote:

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cock+block
Urban Dictionary
cock block. One who prevents another from scoring sexually. (with M3 even though it's still a pie in the sky dream.)


But you don't have a cock, GM, on account of you're female.

Oh never mind. I have a headache.



Dommes don't need to be physically equipped in order to "have" a cock.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 3:33:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Dommes don't need to be physically equipped in order to "have" a cock.

Jus sayin


Fair point, RR: though I don't have grooblies on the ordinary material plane of existence, I like to think that I've got a fine pair of proud and bouncy spiritual ones. :-)


_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 9:03:02 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
GS- I see your point- but I don't think this place is as "toxic" and horrible as you (and some previous posters of this topic, and hell some posters IN this topic) seem to feel.
In fact I think sometimes people are downright patient.

(in reply to HeartAndSoul31)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:07:59 PM   
domincalifornia


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

ORIGINAL: domincalifornia

Just because someone starts a thread doesn't mean they are obligated to respond to everyone who writes a comment to them. They can step out anytime they want, and stop talking to anyone anytime they want.



Thanks for clearing that up for me. Of course that is the case, but for this thread in particular, where someone is taking a pot shot (and not their first one) at the community, perhaps sticking around would be a great idea so you can be heard.


It looks like he has stuck around. He's simply responding to some people, and not others.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:16:56 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline
Just posting to clean the scroll up.

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:27:55 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domincalifornia

It looks like he has stuck around. He's simply responding to some people, and not others.


I can see the obvious.

Thanks anyway.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to domincalifornia)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:28:56 PM   
PandoraFoxxx


Posts: 182
Joined: 1/3/2011
From: San Mateo, CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

So just in case somebody hasn't heard my spiel by now I'm often horrified by the way new posters are treated around here. Upon stating this in the past I've received the response that usually the new poster does something to instigate the responses and I think that's true.

Sometimes it's the case that the poster has an uncommon kink that doesn't fit in around here, but should we really be throwing rocks over that, seems to me an awful lot like we're living in a glass house on this one.

Sometimes the poster stumbles onto a hotbutton topic, but really how can we reasonably expect someone new to know where all the mines are buried?

Sometimes it's that the poster makes some spelling mistakes or doesn't express themselves well. Thing is expressing oneself on a forum is a skill and we're talking about posters who are new. It's a very rare person who's perfect at well just about anything their first time.

Don't get me wrong, there are work arounds to these problems: learning to post elsewhere/a substantial amount of lurking. But isn't that setting an awfully high bar to be allowed to post here without getting heckled off the site?

I mean we're basically asking new posters to hit the ground running in the middle of a mine field, is it at all surprising that has a tendency of not working out very well!

About this time in my argument someone's apt to make a comment about this is just how it is. Thing is that's not actually true, I can point to examples both in meat space and on fet of communities who are night and day different, think about it for a second, can't all of you do the same?


If you act like an idiot, people are going to make an example of you. Sadly, most of the new posters do just this. There is a difference between being new and just acting a fool. I was new to boards about 6 months ago and I never got "hazed." I'd actually say the opposite happened. Perhaps, if you are so "appalled" at how "people" treat new posters, you should find another board to read.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: hazing new posters - 12/5/2014 10:46:06 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline
~FRing it~

I've been thinking a lot about this thread before replying and adding my $0.02

Let's say I agree and feel that new posters are treated horribly. To determine being mistreated, I'm basing this on my own sense of right and wrong...kind and mean. Your opinion of mean is going to be different than mine is. And that's perfectly fine. We were raised differently and had different influences (environment) to shape our perceptions. So I might think someone is being a total dickhead, but you might not see anything wrong with what the person is doing. Now I'll be the first to admit that there are some one-size-fits-all acts of kindness we all can do. Clearly someone who mentions wanting to commit suicide should not have a bunch of people chiming in about how worthless that person is and to just commit suicide.

So when it comes down to setting a mandate for appropriate treatment of new posters around here...do we all use my standard of what constitutes being nice? Do we use yours? Do we use shifty's? Or perhaps DaddySatyr's? Or any of the other folks who offered their opinions? In my honest opinion, it's not my place to tell any of you how you should be or how you should act. I don't have that right. All I can do is be the best me I can be here. It's really all any of us can do. The rest really is out of our control.

Another reality is that no matter how fantastically awesome we make it here, not everyone who enters will stay. And not everyone who has been here a long time will be here forever. It's just the nature of the beast. People come and go all the time. The rumors of this side being a pit full of assholes has been around all the way back in 2006 when I first joined. It was still reputed to be this way in 2012 when I got ballsy and started participating in the forums. If this place is so horrible to new posters, I must admit that if asked...the answer Id give to Johnny Rotten's question at the last US Sex Pistols show "ever get the feeling you've been cheated?" would have to be a resounding YES . It's honestly been a relatively enjoyable newbie experience for me in my honest opinion. If it was that bad around here, how did any of us make it?

Im all for folks being able to do their thing. Findomme, do-me, whatever. Live and let live. However Im going to be honest in saying that I think the fact that you want to stick an industrial grade shop vac hose up your ass to see if it's possible to suck your eyeballs back into your skull is a bad idea. We aren't guaranteed to always be told what we want to hear. It would be nice, but not very realistic. And because people here don't do it, that doesn't mean they are intolerant to your kinks.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 12/5/2014 11:42:52 PM >

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 1:06:26 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx

If you act like an idiot, people are going to make an example of you. Sadly, most of the new posters do just this. There is a difference between being new and just acting a fool. I was new to boards about 6 months ago and I never got "hazed." I'd actually say the opposite happened.

Bingo. Plenty of new posters make it through unscathed simply because they didn't post dumb shit. Post dumb shit and you're going to get called on it no matter whether you're a newbie or not.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to PandoraFoxxx)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 5:01:17 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

So just in case somebody hasn't heard my spiel by now I'm often horrified by the way new posters are treated around here. Upon stating this in the past I've received the response that usually the new poster does something to instigate the responses and I think that's true.

Sometimes it's the case that the poster has an uncommon kink that doesn't fit in around here, but should we really be throwing rocks over that, seems to me an awful lot like we're living in a glass house on this one.

Sometimes the poster stumbles onto a hotbutton topic, but really how can we reasonably expect someone new to know where all the mines are buried?

Sometimes it's that the poster makes some spelling mistakes or doesn't express themselves well. Thing is expressing oneself on a forum is a skill and we're talking about posters who are new. It's a very rare person who's perfect at well just about anything their first time.

Don't get me wrong, there are work arounds to these problems: learning to post elsewhere/a substantial amount of lurking. But isn't that setting an awfully high bar to be allowed to post here without getting heckled off the site?

I mean we're basically asking new posters to hit the ground running in the middle of a mine field, is it at all surprising that has a tendency of not working out very well!

About this time in my argument someone's apt to make a comment about this is just how it is. Thing is that's not actually true, I can point to examples both in meat space and on fet of communities who are night and day different, think about it for a second, can't all of you do the same?

Sometimes the poster is an asshole.

It makes sense, when in a new place, to spend time learning the lay of the land. Coming in with guns blazing to set the strangers straight oddly doesn't go well with the regulars. Go figure.

Now, is there a pile-on mentality at times? There is. Everyone's got to add their two-cent dig. That's the Internet for you.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 5:29:06 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: PandoraFoxxx

If you act like an idiot, people are going to make an example of you. Sadly, most of the new posters do just this. There is a difference between being new and just acting a fool. I was new to boards about 6 months ago and I never got "hazed." I'd actually say the opposite happened.

Bingo. Plenty of new posters make it through unscathed simply because they didn't post dumb shit. Post dumb shit and you're going to get called on it no matter whether you're a newbie or not.


I agree with this. As a "not so newbie" I am still concious of wether or not I'm walking in here with my dick in my hands (so to speak).

Also, I think Seeking made many a good point.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 8:31:18 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity
So when it comes down to setting a mandate for appropriate treatment of new posters around here...do we all use my standard of what constitutes being nice? Do we use yours? Do we use shifty's? Or perhaps DaddySatyr's? Or any of the other folks who offered their opinions? In my honest opinion, it's not my place to tell any of you how you should be or how you should act. I don't have that right. All I can do is be the best me I can be here. It's really all any of us can do. The rest really is out of our control.


I certainly don't really have the ability to control anyone (though I suppose I could tell them to get the hell off the site like a couple of people have told me in this thread) what I can do is start a thread so we can talk about things and see if we can find any common ground.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 8:41:45 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
I coddle children, not grown ups. YMMV.


If you don't want to coddle anyone *shrug* whatever.

But I think it would be nice if people didn't get attacked because of things they didn't say but because other posters filled in the blanks with the most negative possible assumptions.

I think it would be nice if people didn't get attacked for having kinks that aren't popular here.

I think it would be nice if people didn't get attacked for starting a thread that had been done before.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 9:54:57 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
The first thing happens often because OP posts, leaves, forgets about it and doesn't come back to give clarification. Then the whole thread derails into personal opinion land rather than advice for the OP...because OP went *poof*

I don't see people getting "attacked" for having kinks that aren't popular here. What I DO see is people saying "Not many folks are into that here..." fairly often.

I agree about starting a thread that has been done before- the search feature on here sucks, and really if they have an ice cream cone- shouldn't be attacked. But again- I don't see that often. Unless the poster started the topic 6 months ago and said the same thing.

ETA- I had another thought...

I know you'd like it if more of us referenced where to find folks "into" some kinks that not a lot of folks around here are. Do you think these folks will stay around this forum if we hand them a link to fet? and why is it my responsibility to google something for someone? I found all these things by using my head. I think if they are coming in here to ask about some of these things its either a) deliberate laziness b) trolling or c) wank fodder/profile views seeking.

< Message edited by shiftyw -- 12/6/2014 9:58:11 AM >

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: hazing new posters - 12/6/2014 10:37:48 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

The first thing happens often because OP posts, leaves, forgets about it and doesn't come back to give clarification. Then the whole thread derails into personal opinion land rather than advice for the OP...because OP went *poof*

I don't see people getting "attacked" for having kinks that aren't popular here. What I DO see is people saying "Not many folks are into that here..." fairly often.

I agree about starting a thread that has been done before- the search feature on here sucks, and really if they have an ice cream cone- shouldn't be attacked. But again- I don't see that often. Unless the poster started the topic 6 months ago and said the same thing.

ETA- I had another thought...

I know you'd like it if more of us referenced where to find folks "into" some kinks that not a lot of folks around here are. Do you think these folks will stay around this forum if we hand them a link to fet? and why is it my responsibility to google something for someone? I found all these things by using my head. I think if they are coming in here to ask about some of these things its either a) deliberate laziness b) trolling or c) wank fodder/profile views seeking.


...or, they are looking for conversation. I can Google lots of different things. And I can use the search feature and look at conversations from three years ago. That doesn't help anyone if they are looking for dialogue.

I assume that these and other forums are primarily for discussion. Otherwise, we wouldn't have the ability to respond to each others' posts.

General reply:

It's really just personality differences. I can look at posts by regulars pretty recently and I have to roll my eyes and wonder why everybody seems to be acting like they're at a middle school dance. And I can also think of a number of times in the past when new posters were piled on and I saw absolutely no reason for it other than they didn't lick somebody's ass when they started their thread. What I consider to be an unworthy post is different than what another person considers to be an unworthy post. So saying that a new poster is treated fairly unless they post "dumb shit" really doesn't say much about the poster at all. It only tells me about your preferences. And I'm not in favor of a thread that I might fight interesting to be ripped to pieces because somebody else has judged it to be "dumb."

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 100
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: hazing new posters Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.086