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RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:22:58 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Hey dickwad, did you have her permission to post that to the public forum?

No. She logged and hasn't spoken to me. Since you're so upset, I'm guessing you think she's real. And that was very rude. You people have subjected me to a lot of abuse and I don't resort to name-calling. You were new at some point.

It's a violation of the Forum Rules to post a conversation with someone's name unless they're on the thread and have consented - whether they're real or not.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:27:11 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:


It's a violation of the Forum Rules to post a conversation with someone's name unless they're on the thread and have consented - whether they're real or not.

I believe that. I screwed up. I apologize.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:29:33 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

I made a mistake.

Indeed. But we're not the ones you should be apologizing to.

quote:

Don't apologize for your language.

Which language am I supposed to be apologizing for, exactly?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:30:04 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
I'm new. When I make a mistake, it's of ignorance, not malice.

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:43:31 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

I'm new. When I make a mistake, it's of ignorance, not malice.


You posted a private conversation in an open forum. While it may not be malice, it certainly is a lack of concern towards the person with whom you had that conversation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/19/2017 1:50:50 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
You posted a private conversation in an open forum. While it may not be malice, it certainly is a lack of concern towards the person with whom you had that conversation.

Honestly, I wasn't thinking about that. Everyone kept saying she wasnt real, and I felt she was. If the convo was longer or contained something that wouldn't go in a profile, it would have went off in my head.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/21/2017 10:18:19 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
If women were honest about what they want, I would have figured out vanilla women a long time ago, and probably not even know about kink.

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/21/2017 9:34:10 PM   
cloverodella


Posts: 133
Joined: 8/8/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

If women were honest about what they want, I would have figured out vanilla women a long time ago, and probably not even know about kink.


Sorry to break it to you: you won't do any better finding women in the kink world any better than vanilla with that attitude.

Women aren't a hive mind. There's no forumla for knowing our tastes, preferences, wants, dreams, interests, etc. Nor are we walking pussys for male consumption.

If you get to know us the same way you get to know men - as individual people - women may actually respond to you. We are not a different species, which is what the language/attitude of everything you've said has conveyed.

Stop trying to be something you're not.


(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 5:39:14 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 5:12 PM:
So you don't want rewards. What do you want? Extra beatings?
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:58 PM:
Do you deserve rewards?
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:44 PM:
Great. There's a bit of a commute for the things you like to do. I'm sure we can fit that in as a reward.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:34 PM:
I dont see any deal breakers
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:28 PM:
I do not want to waste your time. Read my profile and let me know if there are any deal-breakers.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:25 PM:
Sure
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:19 PM:
With a hitachi?
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:16 PM:
Love to be teased
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:00 PM:
Okay. I guess i'll tease you around your hole. I'm mean like that. We can gladly do mouth only.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 3:56 PM:
Good, I sure do
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 3:47 PM:
Hey Chika, how are you? I love bj's. I knew I loved them before I had one. Do you really want to deny yourself?

(Her profile doesn't have much, but it does request that she be restricted to oral sex only.)


This is a classic example of "wank fodder" conversation.
You didn't even try to get to know her as a human being.
And your awful last line.
quote:

how are you? I love bj's. I knew I loved them before I had one. Do you really want to deny yourself?

You do realise that, she probably has 1000 men or more to choose from to give BJ to right? Why YOU? That's why that line is probably gonna earn you an ignore from her. You are implying that she has no options but you.


(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 9:17:18 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloverodella

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

If women were honest about what they want, I would have figured out vanilla women a long time ago, and probably not even know about kink.


Sorry to break it to you: you won't do any better finding women in the kink world any better than vanilla with that attitude.

Women aren't a hive mind. There's no forumla for knowing our tastes, preferences, wants, dreams, interests, etc. Nor are we walking pussys for male consumption.

If you get to know us the same way you get to know men - as individual people - women may actually respond to you. We are not a different species, which is what the language/attitude of everything you've said has conveyed.

Stop trying to be something you're not.

I've evolved a lot. I do not have to prove anything to you. Thanks for not insulting me though.

(in reply to cloverodella)
Profile   Post #: 110
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 9:23:20 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
I don’t do punishments or rewards. They’re not effective ways to motivate people to be a team player. And that’s what my relationship is, a team of two going in the same direction. He’s the team captain, I’m not.

But I’m not a slave or a sub. I’m his because he merits that level of trust. He earned it. And that’s why he’s headed the relationship for fifteen years. And why the simple project of replacing some deck boards is fast becoming a total deck replacement. Because he’s proven himself to know better in a great many areas of life. It’s because he wants the responsibilities, not just the rights.

You keep saying that women don’t write anything in their profiles except fetish lists. And that isn’t true. The reality is that you aren’t interested in anyone who talks about her life. You don’t want to know about it or intervene. The only thing you want is sex.

Until, unless, that changes you would do better to hire an escort. Because people and relationships are messy and right now you don’t have the time or energy for that.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 9:39:40 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 5:12 PM:
So you don't want rewards. What do you want? Extra beatings?
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:58 PM:
Do you deserve rewards?
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:44 PM:
Great. There's a bit of a commute for the things you like to do. I'm sure we can fit that in as a reward.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:34 PM:
I dont see any deal breakers
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:28 PM:
I do not want to waste your time. Read my profile and let me know if there are any deal-breakers.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:25 PM:
Sure
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:19 PM:
With a hitachi?
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 4:16 PM:
Love to be teased
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 4:00 PM:
Okay. I guess i'll tease you around your hole. I'm mean like that. We can gladly do mouth only.
cuffedchika on 10/17/17 at 3:56 PM:
Good, I sure do
Spellbinder83 on 10/17/17 at 3:47 PM:
Hey Chika, how are you? I love bj's. I knew I loved them before I had one. Do you really want to deny yourself?

(Her profile doesn't have much, but it does request that she be restricted to oral sex only.)


This is a classic example of "wank fodder" conversation.
You didn't even try to get to know her as a human being.
And your awful last line.
quote:

how are you? I love bj's. I knew I loved them before I had one. Do you really want to deny yourself?

You do realise that, she probably has 1000 men or more to choose from to give BJ to right? Why YOU? That's why that line is probably gonna earn you an ignore from her. You are implying that she has no options but you.

Her profile had nothing vanilla. It was 3 lines requesting only deepthroating. I couldn't believe it either.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 9:47:59 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
The reality is that you aren’t interested in anyone who talks about her life. You don’t want to know about it or intervene. The only thing you want is sex.

That is not true. I want a LTR. You don't know me.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 113
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 9:51:24 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

If women were honest about what they want, I would have figured out vanilla women a long time ago, and probably not even know about kink.

There isn't an eye roll big enough for this statement.

There are so many things wrong with this statement that I don't even know where to start.

But, I will tell you this: Men aren't exempt from not having a clue about what they want and blaming the women isn't helping you.

Honestly, I could tell you quite a few things that aren't helping you. But, wouldn't use them to change your POV, you'd use them as bait. And quite frankly, I think I'd prefer women realize what they're dealing with, right from the start.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 10:08:53 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

If women were honest about what they want, I would have figured out vanilla women a long time ago, and probably not even know about kink.

There isn't an eye roll big enough for this statement.

There are so many things wrong with this statement that I don't even know where to start.

But, I will tell you this: Men aren't exempt from not having a clue about what they want and blaming the women isn't helping you.

Honestly, I could tell you quite a few things that aren't helping you. But, wouldn't use them to change your POV, you'd use them as bait. And quite frankly, I think I'd prefer women realize what they're dealing with, right from the start.

You had no intention of helping me from the start. Matches your advice, which helped me get a whopping zero responses.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 115
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 11:06:11 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


You had no intention of helping me from the start. Matches your advice, which helped me get a whopping zero responses.


Okay, you want help? Let's start here:

First, I could put "I wanna give blow jobs and have my hair pulled" in my profile right now and get 100 responses in an hour offering to do it. So, let's put this in perspective. So, tell me what do you bring to the table? Why should someone choose you when they have 100's of options?

Your profile says you want a TPE relationship. You want to make all the decisions in someone else's life. Tell us how your or your decisions working out in your own life.

Lastly, why do you think you're Dominant?




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 116
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 1:23:58 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


You had no intention of helping me from the start. Matches your advice, which helped me get a whopping zero responses.


Okay, you want help? Let's start here:

First, I could put "I wanna give blow jobs and have my hair pulled" in my profile right now and get 100 responses in an hour offering to do it. So, let's put this in perspective. So, tell me what do you bring to the table? Why should someone choose you when they have 100's of options?

Your profile says you want a TPE relationship. You want to make all the decisions in someone else's life. Tell us how your or your decisions working out in your own life.

Lastly, why do you think you're Dominant?

Sorry for the delayed response. I was accepted into an intensive rehab program and had a visitor. And my reply got deleted.
I apologize for provoking you but I was not getting the help I needed. I was being taken for a HNG and a liar. What do I bring to the table? Love. Safety. Caring. Providing. Honesty. I want a LTR. It's all I've ever wanted. Then I found out I wanted this too. So I came here. Look, I won't deny that the sexual aspect has an allure to it. But it would to any male.
My decisions have worked out pretty well. I stand to make a good living when I can work again. I have a Master's degree. Aside from the stroke, I'm doing pretty well.
The last one is tricky. I believe I am dominant, but was conditioned from birth by parents and the media to believe I was not. I remember being what you might call dominant at a young age. I will say I am not sure I can do the beatings. It feels a little wrong. I want to change that.

NOW. Forcing me into introspection was helpful. Thank you.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/22/2017 7:51:03 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83
Her profile had nothing vanilla. It was 3 lines requesting only deepthroating. I couldn't believe it either.

Well all I can say is, you should perhaps approach women with some vanilla stuffs in it to form a proper connection.

Such a profile, she will definitely 1000 responses to choose from and why would she choose yours you know? Put yourself in her shoes, and think about what other men might say. Others might even just invite her out for no obligation dinner and wanna pamper her and get to know her.

I tell you, online, women get alot of options. You really need to think about what will make you stand up.

Your inexperience in dominance is clear as night and day the way you spoke to her.

Dominance is about inspiring somebody to want to follow you and obey you. Because if you can't inspire someone, then you can't dominate over anybody since nobody will cooperate with you. And then you are just a self-proclaim dominant so far until you inspire one woman to voluntarily want to follow you.

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/23/2017 6:23:09 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83
Her profile had nothing vanilla. It was 3 lines requesting only deepthroating. I couldn't believe it either.

Well all I can say is, you should perhaps approach women with some vanilla stuffs in it to form a proper connection.

Such a profile, she will definitely 1000 responses to choose from and why would she choose yours you know? Put yourself in her shoes, and think about what other men might say. Others might even just invite her out for no obligation dinner and wanna pamper her and get to know her.

I tell you, online, women get alot of options. You really need to think about what will make you stand up.

Your inexperience in dominance is clear as night and day the way you spoke to her.

Dominance is about inspiring somebody to want to follow you and obey you. Because if you can't inspire someone, then you can't dominate over anybody since nobody will cooperate with you. And then you are just a self-proclaim dominant so far until you inspire one woman to voluntarily want to follow you.

Thank you for taking me at my word. I started offering to cook dinner. Salmon and broccoli. I also start with a nice hi,person, how are you? Oh, you guys will love this. I bought a BDSM book, and it says vanilla and no sex in the first message. I still don't see it working, but you guys are vindicated. And the book is written by a woman, if you think I have some problem with that gender. I am NOT afraid to admit when I am wrong. I just want a little proof. I'm not sure what to do about my profile. Most people don't get that far anyway. But all I can discern from your post is there's a lot of it, and it sucks. No clue how to improve it. I know. I did a search, and l EVERYBODY was on. Saying I am inexperienced is fair and politely put.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 119
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/23/2017 3:48:41 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

I'm not sure what to do about my profile.


Your profile is terrible and that's why it's not working.

All I know about you from your profile is that you're 34, had a stroke, had kinky sex and liked it.

Then you have the ridiculous offer to help women deal with the men bothering them. Cyber chest thumping and posturing. What are you going to do? Cyber beat them up? There's nothing you can do to make someone stop bothering them. It makes you look foolish and you're setting yourself up to fail.

Then you have at least 5 paragraphs of "blah,blah,blah" trying to define a relationship that doesn't even exist yet, you have no experience living and expect them to fit into. You're the woman who describes her wedding, the future house and how many kids she's having on the first date.

Two months with a "slave" doesn't make you a Master. That's like being a receptionist at a law firm for two months and claiming you're a lawyer.

And the "You should be happy I contacted you". Seriously.....


If I read that profile, I wouldn't respond.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 120
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