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RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/23/2017 4:39:39 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

I'm not sure what to do about my profile.


Your profile is terrible and that's why it's not working.

Agreed. Radically overhauled to be about me, not what serving under me would be like.
All I know about you from your profile is that you're 34, had a stroke, had kinky sex and liked it.

quote:

Then you have the ridiculous offer to help women deal with the men bothering them. Cyber chest thumping and posturing. What are you going to do? Cyber beat them up? There's nothing you can do to make someone stop bothering them. It makes you look foolish and you're setting yourself up to fail.
Me wanting to fulfill my duties as a master. Deleted.

quote:

Then you have at least 5 paragraphs of "blah,blah,blah" trying to define a relationship that doesn't even exist yet, you have no experience living and expect them to fit into. You're the woman who describes her wedding, the future house and how many kids she's having on the first date.
Radically trimmed.

quote:

Two months with a "slave" doesn't make you a Master. That's like being a receptionist at a law firm for two months and claiming you're a lawyer.
I agree. Made me want to be one.

quote:

And the "You should be happy I contacted you". Seriously.....

I am not arrogant enough to come up with that. I got it from another profile I used to try and improve. A Mistress in her 20s.

I mention I am a beginner less not to hide it, but to sound less apologetic and project confidence.

Any improvement?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/23/2017 5:00:09 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

I'm not sure what to do about my profile.


Your profile is terrible and that's why it's not working.

All I know about you from your profile is that you're 34, had a stroke, had kinky sex and liked it.

Then you have the ridiculous offer to help women deal with the men bothering them. Cyber chest thumping and posturing. What are you going to do? Cyber beat them up? There's nothing you can do to make someone stop bothering them. It makes you look foolish and you're setting yourself up to fail.

Then you have at least 5 paragraphs of "blah,blah,blah" trying to define a relationship that doesn't even exist yet, you have no experience living and expect them to fit into. You're the woman who describes her wedding, the future house and how many kids she's having on the first date.

Two months with a "slave" doesn't make you a Master. That's like being a receptionist at a law firm for two months and claiming you're a lawyer.

And the "You should be happy I contacted you". Seriously.....


If I read that profile, I wouldn't respond.
Shit. I had a nice post and my phone ate it. Not doing it again on this phone.
Making it about me was all I could think of.
I'm not trying to beat up anyone. I was attempting to fulfill my duties as a master.
The grafs were an attempt to inform what it would be like to serve under me.
Two months doesn't make me one. It made me want to be one.
Not arrogant enough to come up with that. Got it from a Mistress in her 20s. Left that one in. Remove it?

Any improvement?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 8:16:30 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

I am not arrogant enough to come up with that. I got it from another profile I used to try and improve. A Mistress in her 20s.

Why are you not looking at other male dominant profile and looking at female domme profiles as your guide on what to write?

That Mistress is appealing to submissive males who likes the whole "treating her as a royal queen" thingy. And that behaviour turns on some submissive men. And for many of them, such things might even be wank fodder for them to play along.

But you are trying to appeal to submissive women and not men, who where they need to see you as a leader, a protector and someone who could have common sense, is rational and can lead.

So far, basically, you have displayed no common sense at all towards how to approach this and how to present yourself. You need to find that common sense, or either Stroke has mess with your brain.

I mean, copying a Female Domme profile is like the most illogical thing ever to do, unless you are a gay Male Dom who wants to attract gay male submissive, then maybe....., it makes sense!

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 8:50:47 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

I am not arrogant enough to come up with that. I got it from another profile I used to try and improve. A Mistress in her 20s.

Why are you not looking at other male dominant profile and looking at female domme profiles as your guide on what to write?

I thought I would avoid the fakes. Everyone says there is a bunch of fake males. How would I know who is real?

quote:

That Mistress is appealing to submissive males who likes the whole "treating her as a royal queen" thingy. And that behaviour turns on some submissive men. And for many of them, such things might even be wank fodder for them to play along.

Deleted.

But you are trying to appeal to submissive women and not men, who where they need to see you as a leader, a protector and someone who could have common sense, is rational and can lead.

quote:

So far, basically, you have displayed no common sense at all towards how to approach this and how to present yourself. You need to find that common sense, or either Stroke has mess with your brain.

I will pretend you did not say this. I have explained my logic.

quote:

I mean, copying a Female Domme profile is like the most illogical thing ever to do, unless you are a gay Male Dom who wants to attract gay male submissive, then maybe....., it makes sense!
I copied one line. I see now that was a poor decision.

Not to be picky, but you focused on the bad and didn't answer my question.
EDIT - Found the error in the syntax.

(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 9:17:52 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83
I will pretend you did not say this. I have explained my logic.

If you read carefully. People are not accusing Males of being fake. They are accusing Males are pretending to Females online that are Fake.

So essentially, by copying a Domme profile, you are potentially copying a fake male profile.

Fake males = men who pretend to be women online!

And it's still illogical to copy a female profile no matter what. Even if it's one line. You chose the most "girly line" to copy. The specific line you chose shows a lack of common sense to me. And without that common sense!

It's gonna be hard all the way.

quote:

Not to be picky, but you focused on the bad and didn't answer my question.

You mean to vet your upgraded profile? You know we are not obligated to tirelessly keep telling you the obvious over and over again right?

Besides, you also were making alot of comments about how listening to women wouldn't help you. So for me, my advice was very simple. Treat women like human beings. Don't approach them with kink first. Ask them out as friends. Be a good friend first. Be humble and tell them you are still learning to be a good dom. That's it.

There will be alot of subs who also prefer experience and you will be rejected for your inexperienced. (Even if you don't upfront declare your inexperience, the way you are approaching everything is as good as announcing you are inexperience without admitting it to them) But IF being a dominant is easy. Then anybody could be a dominant. The beginning is always hard, to get the experience.

The key is, how do you inspire somebody to want to follow you? This part, you really gotta learn about human psychology and read some books about it on how to motivate people to do things your way. And try to understand the human psyche! What makes them want to be with you. Honestly, BDSM or Vanilla. Same logic. Once you learn how to make people feel good about being with you. You'd start being a good dom.





(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 10:01:54 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


I'm not trying to beat up anyone. I was attempting to fulfill my duties as a master.
You're not their Master and even if you were, there's nothing you could do to MAKE someone leave her alone on the internet. Period.


quote:

The grafs were an attempt to inform what it would be like to serve under me.
A couple of points about this: The first being is that relationships and people aren't made from cookie cutters. So, that's your fantasy of what it would be like to serve under you. #2 - since you have little to no experience - it's your fantasy of what it would be like to serve under you.

quote:


Not arrogant enough to come up with that. Got it from a Mistress in her 20s. Left that one in. Remove it?
Her experience is vastly different from yours. The ratio of female D's to males identifying as "s" on this site is about 1:1000.


And no, it's not any better: It starts of with negativity. The scammers don't care what you put in your profile and for everyone else it starts out with a rant.


"I may be new to being a master" - I'd argue that you're not new to being a master, you're not a Master. It might be your goal, but you've never been there.

It's still a lot of blah, blah, blah about a relationship that doesn't exist.


The reality is that M/s and TPE relationships don't happen right out of the gate. They take time (and trust) to establish and the dynamics of that relationship are based on the personalities and needs of the people involved. You're trying to define that relationship without the second half of the equation. You're defining the relationship and discussing limits while she's trying to figure if she likes you enough to hit reply.

The next reality is that BDSM and D/s are not the same thing. BDSM is bondage/discipline/Sado-Masochism - you can engage in BDSM and not engage in D/s. D/s is Dominance and submission - you can engage in D/s and never engage in BDSM. You seem to think that engaging in BDSM has prepared for you for a D/s relationship - it hasn't. And physical acts don't define Dominance or submission.

And Greta is right...if you start off by talking to me about D/s, BDSM, sex or limits, I'm not going to answer. I haven't even decided if I like you enough to hit reply...and you're asking/talking about very personal things.







_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 1:54:51 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83
I will pretend you did not say this. I have explained my logic.

quote:

If you read carefully. People are not accusing Males of being fake. They are accusing Males are pretending to Females online that are Fake.
Both are useless. I simplified.

quote:

So essentially, by copying a Domme profile, you are potentially copying a fake male profile.
So my chances were pretty much the same. And are you deliberately twisting my words?

quote:

And it's still illogical to copy a female profile no matter what. Even if it's one line. You chose the most "girly line" to copy. The specific line you chose shows a lack of common sense to me. And without that common sense!
It sounded good. I'd call myself a beginner, but I'm halfway through the book and the closest thing to new was the same advice I got from you guys.

quote:

It's gonna be hard all the way.

For me, it's more difficult than the stroke. But that's ok. If it was easy there wouldn't be slaves without masters.
quote:

Not to be picky, but you focused on the bad and didn't answer my question.

quote:

You mean to vet your upgraded profile? You know we are not obligated to tirelessly keep telling you the obvious over and over again right?

I wasn't demanding. You replied. I pointed out that you didn't answer my question.
quote:

Besides, you also were making alot of comments about how listening to women wouldn't help you. So for me, my advice was very simple. Treat women like human beings. Don't approach them with kink first. Ask them out as friends. Be a good friend first. Be humble and tell them you are still learning to be a good dom. That's it.

I remember making one. But yes I did say that. I shelve the link and offer to take them to a fancy dinner. That seems friendly and vanilla to me. I'm honestly not sure what's in my profile anymore.
There will be alot of subs who also prefer experience and you will be rejected for your inexperienced. (Even if you don't upfront declare your inexperience, the way you are approaching everything is as good as announcing you are inexperience without admitting it to them) But IF being a dominant is easy. Then anybody could be a dominant. The beginning is always hard, to get the experience.

quote:

The key is, how do you inspire somebody to want to follow you? This part, you really gotta learn about human psychology and read some books about it on how to motivate people to do things your way. And try to understand the human psyche! What makes them want to be with you. Honestly, BDSM or Vanilla. Same logic. Once you learn how to make people feel good about being with you. You'd start being a good dom.

Now THAT'S helpful. Why didn't I think of that?







(in reply to Greta75)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 3:11:34 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


I'm not trying to beat up anyone. I was attempting to fulfill my duties as a master.
quote:

You're not their Master and even if you were, there's nothing you could do to MAKE someone leave her alone on the internet. Period.
Look I wasn't offering to help anyone. That was for the girl who would become my slave. I know I don't own anyone. And...block button? He'll eventually give up. I think any decent slave should know that, but I still feel I should offer.

quote:

The grafs were an attempt to inform what it would be like to serve under me.
A couple of points about this: The first being is that [quote relationships and people aren't made from cookie cutters. So, that's your fantasy of what it would be like to serve under you. #2 - since you have little to no experience - it's your fantasy of what it would be like to serve under you.
We must disagree. Since I have little experience, this was an attempt to inform what life might be like under me. Doesn't matter. It's gone.
quote:


Not arrogant enough to come up with that. Got it from a Mistress in her 20s. Left that one in. Remove it?
Her experience is vastly different from yours. The ratio of female D's to males identifying as "s" on this site is about 1:1000.And what's the ratio for m/s?


quote:

And no, it's not any better: It starts of with negativity. The scammers don't care what you put in your profile and for everyone else it starts out with a rant.

Don't know how to make it better other than deleting the rant. Thanks for answering me.


quote:

"I may be new to being a master" - I'd argue that you're not new to being a master, you're not a Master. It might be your goal, but you've never been there.
I know you're not a fan. I have to list myself as something. I have been there. She was totally new. I loved her and scared her away like an idiot. Found out I like this tho. So I'm here.

quote:

It's still a lot of blah, blah, blah about a relationship that doesn't exist.
I feel it's about me. I'll look at it again.


quote:

The reality is that M/s and TPE relationships don't happen right out of the gate. They take time (and trust) to establish and the dynamics of that relationship are based on the personalities and needs of the people involved. You're trying to define that relationship wihout the second half of the equation. You're defining the relationship and discussing limits while she's trying to figure if she likes you enough to hit reply.
I said I'm looking for TPE...I could be wrong, but where did I talk about limits?
You seem to think that engaging in BDSM has prepared for you for a D/s relationship - it hasn't. And physical acts don't define Dominance or submission.
I don't think that. Why would I ask for help if I did?

quote:

And Greta is right...if you start off by talking to me about D/s, BDSM, sex or limits, I'm not going to answer. I haven't even decided if I like you enough to hit reply...and you're asking/talking about very personal things.
No offense, but could we drop that? Not trying to hide it, but I haven't done that in a long time.








(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 3:22:06 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline
My profile does mention limits. Don't most people? I'm not trying to be kinky. Geez.

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 3:48:51 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

quote:

"I may be new to being a master" - I'd argue that you're not new to being a master, you're not a Master. It might be your goal, but you've never been there.
I know you're not a fan. I have to list myself as something. I have been there. She was totally new. I loved her and scared her away like an idiot. Found out I like this tho. So I'm here.
Being dominant or submissive is a personality. "Master" or "slave" are titles....and the reality is....until the other person views that as your title.....you're not really it.

quote:

And what's the ratio for m/s?
Men far outnumber women on this site and in a lot of the communities. That means that women get to pick and choose.

When I was looking, I put an ad out there. In a couple of days, I had almost 300 responses....and that was just the LA area.


quote:

I said I'm looking for TPE...I could be wrong, but where did I talk about limits?




"Things I will not do - anything that draws blood, broken bones, permanent injury, death, illegality. I dont break my toys."


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

My profile does mention limits. Don't most people? I'm not trying to be kinky. Geez.


I never did and I know a lot of people that won't discuss it until there's a possibility of something. Why would I discuss my limits with someone that I haven't even decided if I like enough to hit reply?




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 5:01:10 PM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

quote:

"I may be new to being a master" - I'd argue that you're not new to being a master, you're not a Master. It might be your goal, but you've never been there.
I know you're not a fan. I have to list myself as something. I have been there. She was totally new. I loved her and scared her away like an idiot. Found out I like this tho. So I'm here.
quote:

Being dominant or submissive is a personality. "Master" or "slave" are titles....and the reality is....until the other person views that as your title.....you're not really it.
I see what you are saying, but waiting for someone's approval doesn't seem like something a master would do. Besides, you still haven't said what I should call myself.

quote:

And what's the ratio for m/s?
quote:

Men far outnumber women on this site and in a lot of the communities. That means that women get to pick and choose.
I know.


quote:

I said I'm looking for TPE...I could be wrong, but where did I talk about limits?




"Things I will not do - anything that draws blood, broken bones, permanent injury, death, illegality. I dont break my toys."


quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

My profile does mention limits. Don't most people? I'm not trying to be kinky. Geez.

I never did and I know a lot of people that won't discuss it until there's a possibility of something. Why would I discuss my limits with someone that I haven't even decided if I like enough to hit reply?
Agreed. Deleted.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 6:04:23 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

ORIGINAL: Spellbinder83

quote:

"I may be new to being a master" - I'd argue that you're not new to being a master, you're not a Master. It might be your goal, but you've never been there.
I know you're not a fan. I have to list myself as something. I have been there. She was totally new. I loved her and scared her away like an idiot. Found out I like this tho. So I'm here.
quote:

Being dominant or submissive is a personality. "Master" or "slave" are titles....and the reality is....until the other person views that as your title.....you're not really it.
I see what you are saying, but waiting for someone's approval doesn't seem like something a master would do. Besides, you still haven't said what I should call myself.


I would suggest Dominant.



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/24/2017 11:28:17 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

"Master" or "slave" are titles.

Yup, and completely imaginary and meaningless ones at that.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/25/2017 10:42:03 AM   
Spellbinder83


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

"Master" or "slave" are titles.

Yup, and completely imaginary and meaningless ones at that.

I refer to myself as Dominant now. I'm reading, trying to educate myself to one day become a master.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 10/25/2017 12:21:16 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14373
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

"Master" or "slave" are titles.

Yup, and completely imaginary and meaningless ones at that.

I'm of the same mind on that. We view consensual slavery as an oxymoron.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 11/11/2017 4:58:37 PM   
LTE


Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

"Master" or "slave" are titles.

Yup, and completely imaginary and meaningless ones at that.


They are not. They describe real and relative goals and achieved states. To put it another way, one can set a goal of being a great singer and they can achieve this and call themselves and think of themselves as a "diva". Same for "masters" and "slaves".

I also suggest "slavery" is very much a consensual state of being because the men or women who describe themselves as slaves think this is a necessary song for their success and happiness. All one has to do is read the profiles for "slaves" and see their passion for this goal.

But, slavery can also be the "hell" they must enter to self punish for some imagined or real situation they think deserves punishment, even if this is only a subconscious urge for a consensual hell. Many of us place ourselves in hell on earth without realizing we put ourselves there and can leave it at any time, but do not, simply because we are acting unwisely. In any case, it is consensual and real to us.

< Message edited by LTE -- 11/11/2017 5:07:28 PM >

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 11/11/2017 5:17:37 PM   
LTE


Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline
quote:

Men far outnumber women on this site and in a lot of the communities. That means that women get to pick and choose.


I read that at times. Actually, it is not true. Otherwise there would be few women on here. They would pick and be gone. But they can't and echo frustration all over the forums, those who "forum". You can guess why that is and by the same reason it is the Doms and Masters who have the pick.

(in reply to Spellbinder83)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 11/11/2017 5:46:42 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
Your assumption is, like usual, incorrect.

Many of us are in long term relationships but are here because we enjoy discussing things.and we like to keep up with our online friends.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LTE)
Profile   Post #: 138
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 11/11/2017 6:04:08 PM   
LTE


Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline
Pardon, my mistake. I though we were discussing unattached women (and men too!) and "picking" and "reply rates" while attempting to "pick".

I was not really thinking in terms of "discussing things .... with our online friends".

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: Improving Reply Rates - 11/11/2017 6:06:01 PM   
LTE


Posts: 461
Joined: 1/17/2017
Status: offline
Yes, I'm certain that is the context, picking, reply rates and unattached members.

But that's okay.

(in reply to LTE)
Profile   Post #: 140
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