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Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 4:53:13 PM

darkinshadows

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I am not sure if there are any dominant males (particularly hetro) who would like to step up to the question of recieving anal.

I have come across some disagreement that its not a 'dominant' sensation to receive from ones submissive or slave. Is it something you would like, but find it difficult to demand?

And what about rimming? Is a strap on or dildo the next logical step?

Thanks in advance

Peace and Rapture

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 5:08:51 PM

Estring

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I have never had a desire to receive anal (and a prostate exam a few years ago, solidified that feeling), but I don't think that if a Dom desired his slave to do it to him, that would necessarily make him any less of a Dom. It could cause some questioning from his slave/sub though, if she feels that his desire is more sub than Dom. And that may stop him from indulging.

< Message edited by Estring -- 8/25/2006 5:11:13 PM >

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 5:59:45 PM

MasterDoc1

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I will address this as both an experienced dom AND a physician. As a (totally heterosexual) dom let me simply state that YES, I do sometimes enjoy taking it up the ass.

Yes it's true. For some reason this simple fact horrifies some people. DOMS DONT DO THAT! Well people that just aint so. It started with me making her rim my ass EXTENSIVELY as an act of degradation. Then one day I had her lube up a finger and slide it in. HEy, that feels good! We wound up with two fingers fairly regularly. A strap-on was used only occassionally as it just aint that flexible, but it was done. Listen once in a while I used to suck my #1 submissives toes. Does that make me an IMPURE dom too? The people who define what is to be verboten as "undomly" are way too stuck in a role instead of a reality.

Now as a physician let me say this: the male human is HARD-WIRED to enjoy erotic massage of the prostate. The nerves are there so I guess they are suppossed to be used. Look it up if you wish. The fact that you don't enjoy the prostate exam is NOT a counterargument: consider 1) the reason it is being done 2) the environment it is being done in and 3) who is doing it! Have your sub lube up and go for it guys; you might find yourself liking it.

Re it being difficult to demand: Yes that can be the case because of its association with homosexuality. All I can suggest to such guys is that you come to terms with the untruth of that yourself and then educate your sub if necessary.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 6:12:55 PM

Estring

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I guess my hard wires are missing. I have had women in the past massage my prostate and it did nothing for me then either. And it wasn't because of any homosexual association, it just doesn't feel good. I am probably in the minority here, but it just doesn't turn me on.

< Message edited by Estring -- 8/25/2006 6:13:25 PM >

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 6:15:23 PM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I have never had a desire to receive anal (and a prostate exam a few years ago, solidified that feeling), but I don't think that if a Dom desired his slave to do it to him, that would necessarily make him any less of a Dom. It could cause some questioning from his slave/sub though, if she feels that his desire is more sub than Dom. And that may stop him from indulging.

Good point, Estring, about the potential problem with the submissive. Personally, I like pleasure, and if that means having a woman massage the ol' backdoor, that's okay with me , whether manually or with toys.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 6:20:53 PM

MasterDoc1

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Yes estring obviously there are some with variant anatomy LOL Women always thought that playing with my balls would be exciting for me but all it did was hurt or tickle. Takes all kinds. Nonetheless...

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 6:23:53 PM

mstrjx

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I have 'cum' uncontrollably, without hardly any buildup. One moment the fingers are going in and the next something else is going out the other end. Wow!

What's the harm in that?

Now, if the sub were to invite all of her other sub friends to watch, well a line might have to be drawn there.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 7:49:18 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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This is the converse of the "is it "not dominant" to give oral sex to your sub?"

Ridiculous of course- an act is not dominant or submissive.

Unfortunately in the hetero scene, male doms are pressured to put forward a super-masculine hetero stereotype and anything whispering towards homosexuality would be completely inappropriate.

A dildo or strap on might be the next step- it certain can bring a lot of pleasure, but would take someone even more secure in themselves to go towards.

Also, most doms realize early on that anal can HURT and are wimps. :)

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 7:53:20 PM

Arpig

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It isn't what you desire that would make you undomly, it is being unable to demand it for fear of appearing undomly that would make one so

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 8:15:14 PM

popeye1250

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Yes I enjoy it too. And vibrating buttplugs as well.
The Doctor is right, the prostate (is) full of nerve endings and stimulation of them can lead to explosive orgasms!
I'm not submissive but I've "bottomed" to a Domme before because she liked me and wanted to have her way with me and kept asking me, kind of like switched I guess.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 8:31:58 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

It isn't what you desire that would make you undomly, it is being unable to demand it for fear of appearing undomly that would make one so

He demands it of my tongue and trust me, there is nothing undomly about it.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 8:46:39 PM

FloridaISIS

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Personally I wouldn't think any less of a Dom if he asked for anal stimulation from me. Prostate stimulation is important in order to keep it flushed out and from getting enlarged. Please correct if I'm wrong MasterDoc1? From what I have learned from other Dominants and from articles, if the prostate fluid isn't flushed out it can eventually lead to an enlarged prostate which may lead to impotence, or am I wrong Doc1?
I feel if I'm going to serve a Dom it's my job to ensure he stays healthy as well, and if it means taking the strap on or gloving up, I'm all for it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

It isn't what you desire that would make you undomly, it is being unable to demand it for fear of appearing undomly that would make one so

Arpig, I couldn't agree more. It's all about being confident with one's self.
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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 9:00:17 PM

SilverWulf

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There's nothing un-Domly at all about enjoying and/or asking for anal stimulation.

It is something I direct My girl to do regularly with fingers, toys, and the ocassional use of a strap-on.

We discussed this at length prior to delving into this particular form of pleasure. As said earlier, the act itself is neither Dom or sub like.

I am giving her direction on how to please Me, how can that be anything but Dom like behavior?

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 9:13:11 PM

MistressLorelei

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I give you guys a lot of credit.... and I am glad many of you surprised me. I love anal, but I am a female Domme, and I am so used to providing anal to a male who is submissive that it never occurred to me that anal from a femme sub to Master would be a common thing. I'm glad to find out differently.

I wondered why so many Doms contact me (to play) on the other side.... lol.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 9:43:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

I give you guys a lot of credit.... and I am glad many of you surprised me. I love anal, but I am a female Domme, and I am so used to providing anal to a male who is submissive that it never occurred to me that anal from a femme sub to Master would be a common thing. I'm glad to find out differently.

I wondered why so many Doms contact me (to play) on the other side.... lol.

Actually, IME it IS very uncommon. You're just hearing from the few of us here who are open and secure about it. I think we're in the distinct minority.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/25/2006 10:29:11 PM

Slipstreme

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There is no act out there that is inherently submissive or Dominant. As a dedicated bottom and a dedicated Top, I'd rather enjoy both sides of the equation, and still be in control of the dynamic.

I have heard of a lot of heterosexual guys who tend to be a little anal phobic, but I think that might have something to do with the association of anal= gay that many of them may have. Which is not the case, there are things called strap ons.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 2:12:32 AM

IronBear

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Since when has this been a defining situation regarding Dominants? It is surely a matter of personal preference. Does it matter if a Dominant is bisexual or not for that matter? What does matter is the dynamics and openness between two people who are enjoying BDSM and in this case the sexual expectations of their relationship.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 2:28:25 AM

darkinshadows

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I totally agree IB.

And thanks to everyone who have responded.

I decided to ask this question after a discussion with a friend. My personal opinion is that anal doesn't make you less dominant, it's a service that you require or an intimacy with another you desire. It isn't the act itself. As IB said, it is the dynamic and openess that counts.

I think it definately seems like a hard concept to discuss - and I don't know whether its because, like Em mentioned, dominants who enjoy are in the minority (as well as the submissives who will serve such a request) - or whether it is more the inability to be open about it.

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 3:02:43 AM

Wolfie648

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I am not sure if there are any dominant males (particularly hetro) who would like to step up to the question of recieving anal.
I have come across some disagreement that its not a 'dominant' sensation to receive from ones submissive or slave. Is it something you would like, but find it difficult to demand?
And what about rimming? Is a strap on or dildo the next logical step?
Thanks in advance

Peace and Rapture

A dominant is as a dominant gets what a dominant wants.

That's the way I see it.

The next step is what the dominant tells one.

D (owner of j).

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RE: Dominants who desire Anal - 8/26/2006 3:04:59 AM

shadevarr

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I am glad to know that I am not alone in these acts. I figured I wasn't since "everything worth doing has already been done" then it was all a matter of how it was approached. I never give power to anyone and the humiliation part of that scene was quite enjoyable :P

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