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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 4:20:02 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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awwww! MaamJay - thank you!

One thing I forgot though (its good to know I'm not quite perfect, yet)

Hard Edge; males tend to use a harder edge to their voices than women do. This can be difficult to identify as its not so obvious as the other items, and not as easy to describe! I find a good analogy is in the sound of a staccato violin (male) compared to the sound of a flute (female). Breath control is the most important way to overcome this - the breath used in speaking should be used as one might blow a flute, rather than as one might blow a balloon. Combined with the other items, this becomes much more straightforward. Practice though, remains the most important factor.
E

(in reply to MaamJay)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 4:29:21 AM   
LadyEllen


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Oh, and one last thing; if you are going to crossdress in public and dont want to be noticed, make very sure you have a strategy worked out for such things as sneezing, coughing, accidental ouches and so on. It will totally ruin the whole thing if you do any of these unconciously and so with your male voice!

E

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 4:41:49 AM   
cloudboy


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Joined: 12/14/2005
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I do think sissy to serve caught you in a glaring hypocrisy wherein you put out the following two POVs:

1. I don't like CDs because they think its all about them.

2. CDs are flawed b/c they don't realize its all about the DOM.

Sissy, like a razorwire, cut through this.


----------

All that said, Sissy, its been a recurring theme here that when a CD posts --- invariably there is a slew of posts from FEMDOMs which follow with a line of: "I don't like CDs." "I prefer alpha males.." etc.

In my own experience, for whatever reason, many women have a strong, fairly innate, and viceral dislike of CDs --- and for CDs --- as you probably well know, there's no way around that strong antipathy. So, being a CD and being attracted to women can be a very isolating experience.

Also, in my long tenure of watching Jerry Springer, the girlfriend is rarely intrigued when her Cowboy, roughneck boyfriend confesses that he likes to wear a bra. Her reaction is usually anywhere between freaked and grossed out.



< Message edited by cloudboy -- 9/19/2006 5:01:55 AM >

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 8:43:07 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Lady Ellen writes:  (and thank you, btw!)

As short hand;
Transvestic crossdressing is an act of doing
Transsexual crossdressing is an act of being

Exactly, as I understand it.  One of the first talks Lacey gave was to our group and it was enlightening. She also explained how the sub-groups have a problem dealing with each other!  The Trans VESTtites think the Cross-dressers are tacky, the Drag Queens thing the Transvestites could do a better representation, the Transexuals are the ones who talked the talk and walked the walk.  In each recent generation in my family, there has been one androgenist in the family and  a few gays …  and who is the first one they ‘come out’ to?  ME.   LOL!  Bless their hearts. 

As to the place of each over generalized group in bdsm, then I do not really see how they can be excluded. It is simply not possible to nail down exactly who can belong and what activities belong, unless we are to reduce the whole thing to one aspect of it which excludes all else and which thereby excludes the vast majority of people.

The ones I refer to are the ones that have no interest in the play aspect then get upset that they are not sought after.  I know when my own play was not as prevalent and I wasn’t doing public sessions in the (club) dungeon, you kind of fade into the wallpaper. 

Transvestites belong, inasmuch as they get and give something in bdsm; who is to say that the change of identity wrought by cross-dressing is any different to the change in identity wrought by wearing leather/PVC/rubber etc and which many in bdsm undertake in order to play a role? Not everyone has to like it, and no one is expected to like it, but looking at it dispassionately from the outside it’s the very same thing. I don’t like some people's means of changing identity, so do they ergo not belong too?

To some, S and M means Stand and Model J

Transsexuals belong, inasmuch as they remain sexual beings and remain people; who are to say that any form of condition precludes someone from involvement?

And to the Transsexuals, I doff my hat (with a gracious bow). 

Should amputees be excluded because some people find their appearance distasteful?

As my MS progressed, I withdrew because of the “oh  ...that’s so sad...“ ‘Looks’.  I know you can’t fight human nature.  And it does make people uncomfortable.  Because we all are temporarily ABLE-bodied and looking at possible futures is unsettling.

Slave and I are both “feeling our age” at this point. We have pretty much totally withdrawn from the community.  Let the young kids have their fun... we already had ours.

Not everyone has to like it and no one is expecting everyone to like it, but looking at it dispassionately from the outside, it seems odd that one type of "weirdo" might be excluded whilst almost any other variety of "weirdo" is welcome. I dont like certain other types of people, does this mean they shouldn’t belong?

There was a similar issue with the Goths in the group. 
 
E


< Message edited by LotusSong -- 9/19/2006 9:18:14 AM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:00:44 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
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I was asked what kind of session I would do for across-dresser.  I gave it some thought and I never do a session without a lesson.  If they wish to know what it feels like to be a woman, I will show them.

One instance would be to dress hem in a cotton housedress, a size too small, knee high nylons with “sensible shoes”, a cafeteria type hair net  with an old purse, then send them off to WalMart to purchase depends, Kotex and douche.  The purpose of this exercise is to understand what it is like being an aging woman.  Why do they dress like they do?  MONEY.  It’s usually a fixed income and they have to do with what they have. Yes, it’s an over-the-top example, but one that sticks.  There isn’t anything you can do about aging, it happens- be kind!  (And talk about FORCED fem.. they never see this one coming)

The second instance- would dress him as a slut, blindfold him and drop him off in an undisclosed location and have him find his way home.  (This would of course be watched by me from a distance so I could come to his aid if/when necessary)  This way he would know what it is like to be female and alone with nothing to work with but your wits and body.

Women are far more than tits and a frilly pair of panties.  I want them to understand it ALL and in the understanding, a new-found respect.

They can take their outfit off when they want, we have to live it.  Sort of like the shows where they dress up a model in a fat-suit and have them experience what it is like to be fat in society... they can take it off afterward.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to subTVjean)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:06:45 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

All that said, Sissy, its been a recurring theme here that when a CD posts --- invariably there is a slew of posts from FEMDOMs which follow with a line of: "I don't like CDs." "I prefer alpha males.." etc.

In my own experience, for whatever reason, many women have a strong, fairly innate, and viceral dislike of CDs --- and for CDs --- as you probably well know, there's no way around that strong antipathy. So, being a CD and being attracted to women can be a very isolating experience.

Also, in my long tenure of watching Jerry Springer, the girlfriend is rarely intrigued when her Cowboy, roughneck boyfriend confesses that he likes to wear a bra. Her reaction is usually anywhere between freaked and grossed out.




And would you still be interested in your girlfriend if she sprung the fact on you that she can only get aroused by wearing a padded belly under her flannel shirt with a painted on beard and plastic penis shoved down her baggy jeans?
 
I just don't find women sexually appealing to me.. real or otherwise.  I'm a gay male in a woman's body and I LIKE it in here :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:32:17 AM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline
Very well said LotusSong!
I happen to be a cross dresser that happens to be a submissive male. I can only add that one Domme ( She does not like the term Mistress) happens to like us cross dressers. I now wear Her training collar and hope to one day be wearing Her collar of ownership. Does my cross dressing take priority over serving Her? Hell no! She is my everything. Serving Her is my desire, my role, my life. it just so happens that every now and then She likes me to serve Her while dressed as my fem self. It makes no difference how i am dressed in my first need and desire to be of service to Her. My happiness comes out of being all I can be to Her and Her alone. Do I care that some, maybe many Mistresses don't like cross dressers? Hell no! I respect each ones likes and dislikes. If we all liked the same things, it would be boring. I'd just like to see each and everyone of us in the world or kink, D/s, BDSM or whatever alternate lifestyle choices we make, just get along and not put down a whole group within our bigger group.
So to answer the original question I'd like to add that ONE Domme likes cross dressers and that's all I care about. I found Her right here on Collarme and can not be happier. I am so much in love with Her. So I have to say, "Thank you Collarme for allowing me to find my own true Goddess and love of my life."    


_____________________________

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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:34:45 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I was asked what kind of session I would do for across-dresser.  I gave it some thought and I never do a session without a lesson.  If they wish to know what it feels like to be a woman, I will show them.

One instance would be to dress hem in a cotton housedress, a size too small, knee high nylons with “sensible shoes”, a cafeteria type hair net  with an old purse, then send them off to WalMart to purchase depends, Kotex and douche.  The purpose of this exercise is to understand what it is like being an aging woman.  Why do they dress like they do?  MONEY.  It’s usually a fixed income and they have to do with what they have. Yes, it’s an over-the-top example, but one that sticks.  There isn’t anything you can do about aging, it happens- be kind!  (And talk about FORCED fem.. they never see this one coming)

The second instance- would dress him as a slut, blindfold him and drop him off in an undisclosed location and have him find his way home.  (This would of course be watched by me from a distance so I could come to his aid if/when necessary)  This way he would know what it is like to be female and alone with nothing to work with but your wits and body.

Women are far more than tits and a frilly pair of panties.  I want them to understand it ALL and in the understanding, a new-found respect.

They can take their outfit off when they want, we have to live it.  Sort of like the shows where they dress up a model in a fat-suit and have them experience what it is like to be fat in society... they can take it off afterward.


Wow, I think Lotus found a new diagnostic tool to sort transvestites from transsexuals! It was a bit extreme though; I think just a few weeks of having to get up an hour earlier every morning to get ready, make the breakfast, get the kids clothed and fed and to school would soon do the job! Follow that up with a working day where you are undervalued and treated as stupid throughout, and then home again to prepare a meal for four, serve it and then wash up whilst everyone else is watching TV. That done, its time to put the kids to bed. Now its late, and you can have a half hour to yourself before bed, you lucky thing!

See how fast they run for a shirt and tie then.............!
E

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:47:03 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I was asked what kind of session I would do for across-dresser.  I gave it some thought and I never do a session without a lesson.  If they wish to know what it feels like to be a woman, I will show them.

One instance would be to dress hem in a cotton housedress, a size too small, knee high nylons with “sensible shoes”, a cafeteria type hair net  with an old purse, then send them off to WalMart to purchase depends, Kotex and douche.  The purpose of this exercise is to understand what it is like being an aging woman.  Why do they dress like they do?  MONEY.  It’s usually a fixed income and they have to do with what they have. Yes, it’s an over-the-top example, but one that sticks.  There isn’t anything you can do about aging, it happens- be kind!  (And talk about FORCED fem.. they never see this one coming)

The second instance- would dress him as a slut, blindfold him and drop him off in an undisclosed location and have him find his way home.  (This would of course be watched by me from a distance so I could come to his aid if/when necessary)  This way he would know what it is like to be female and alone with nothing to work with but your wits and body.

Women are far more than tits and a frilly pair of panties.  I want them to understand it ALL and in the understanding, a new-found respect.

They can take their outfit off when they want, we have to live it.  Sort of like the shows where they dress up a model in a fat-suit and have them experience what it is like to be fat in society... they can take it off afterward.


Wow, I think Lotus found a new diagnostic tool to sort transvestites from transsexuals! It was a bit extreme though; I think just a few weeks of having to get up an hour earlier every morning to get ready, make the breakfast, get the kids clothed and fed and to school would soon do the job! Follow that up with a working day where you are undervalued and treated as stupid throughout, and then home again to prepare a meal for four, serve it and then wash up whilst everyone else is watching TV. That done, its time to put the kids to bed. Now its late, and you can have a half hour to yourself before bed, you lucky thing!

See how fast they run for a shirt and tie then.............!
E


Hold on now...wait just a minute there! That can also go both ways. Being a single male guess what I get to do?   The laundry, clean the house, cook the meal, feed the cat, rake the yard, put up the wood, run the biz, answer the phone, cut the grass, wrench on the rigs/bikes, go food shopping, do the dishes, etc.   Busy busy busy.....

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 9:50:33 AM   
LadyEllen


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From: Stourport-England
Status: offline
stockingluvr - now youre just showing off in the hope that one the Ladies here might think you'd be useful to them LOL!

E

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Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 10:02:44 AM   
stockingluvr54


Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

stockingluvr - now youre just showing off in the hope that one the Ladies here might think you'd be useful to them LOL!

E


Say what...????? Lady E.... the luvr of stockings is a machine...I do it ALL!   lmmfao!

Well....I'd better quit dicking around and get off this pc for a bit.....busy busy busy......lol

< Message edited by stockingluvr54 -- 9/19/2006 10:04:40 AM >

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 10:28:02 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd

Very well said LotusSong!
I happen to be a cross dresser that happens to be a submissive male. I can only add that one Domme ( She does not like the term Mistress) happens to like us cross dressers. I now wear Her training collar and hope to one day be wearing Her collar of ownership. Does my cross dressing take priority over serving Her? Hell no! She is my everything. Serving Her is my desire, my role, my life. it just so happens that every now and then She likes me to serve Her while dressed as my fem self. It makes no difference how i am dressed in my first need and desire to be of service to Her. My happiness comes out of being all I can be to Her and Her alone. Do I care that some, maybe many Mistresses don't like cross dressers? Hell no! I respect each ones likes and dislikes. If we all liked the same things, it would be boring. I'd just like to see each and everyone of us in the world or kink, D/s, BDSM or whatever alternate lifestyle choices we make, just get along and not put down a whole group within our bigger group.
So to answer the original question I'd like to add that ONE Domme likes cross dressers and that's all I care about. I found Her right here on Collarme and can not be happier. I am so much in love with Her. So I have to say, "Thank you Collarme for allowing me to find my own true Goddess and love of my life."    



My Slave came to me with his panty fetish.  Being he liked the satin Speedo type.. no laces or frills.. which is my preference for me also..we clicked. (wearing the same size was a plus) I really was surprised at first but now it's MANDATORY for him:)  It's the FEEL of them we like.  

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to FLsubmalecd)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 2:28:16 PM   
cloudboy


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quote:

And would you still be interested in your girlfriend if she sprung the fact on you that she can only get aroused by wearing a padded belly under her flannel shirt with a painted on beard and plastic penis shoved down her baggy jeans?

I just don't find women sexually appealing to me.. real or otherwise. I'm a gay male in a woman's body and I LIKE it in here :)


Frankly, I love women in Men's clothes --- and probably prefer them to conventional, feminine attire. She wouldn't wear a flannel shirt though, but if she wanted to wear a jock strap with a sock in it -- that might be fun, especially out in public. Nothing you've mentioned would stop me from taking her hand, looking into her eyes and kissing her. If, too, I could somehow validate and connect with her kink --- and this animated and aroused her --- well I see a lot of good in that.

My point to you was that sissy scored a point off of you. It was a good one, too. No one else really seemed to pick up upon that.

Sissy's main point, which is one I take well to heart, is try to see and have a curiosity in individuals --- as opposed to not seeing individuals because you are blinded by mass labels, generalizations, prejudices, and past experiences.

I think CDs have it tough enough as it is, w/o a bunch of piling on. Furthermore, CDs tend to be especially vulnerable, isolated, lost, and unpartnered. So, seeing sissy, who had intelligence, backbone, wit --- holding up the flagstaff while under a femdom assault was a bit inspirational to me.

Her core desire to be loved, appreciated, and not exploited is really, really, really resonate with me. I'm 100% in her corner on that one.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 2:41:07 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

And would you still be interested in your girlfriend if she sprung the fact on you that she can only get aroused by wearing a padded belly under her flannel shirt with a painted on beard and plastic penis shoved down her baggy jeans?

I just don't find women sexually appealing to me.. real or otherwise. I'm a gay male in a woman's body and I LIKE it in here :)


Frankly, I love women in Men's clothes --- and probably prefer them to conventional, feminine attire. She wouldn't wear a flannel shirt though, but if she wanted to wear a jock strap with a sock in it -- that might be fun, especially out in public. Nothing you've mentioned would stop me from taking her hand, looking into her eyes and kissing her. If, too, I could somehow validate and connect with her kink --- and this animated and aroused her --- well I see a lot of good in that.

My point to you was that sissy scored a point off of you. It was a good one, too. No one else really seemed to pick up upon that.

Sissy's main point, which is one I take well to heart, is try to see and have a curiosity in individuals --- as opposed to not seeing individuals because you are blinded by mass labels, generalizations, prejudices, and past experiences.

I think CDs have it tough enough as it is, w/o a bunch of piling on. Furthermore, CDs tend to be especially vulnerable, isolated, lost, and unpartnered. So, seeing sissy, who had intelligence, backbone, wit --- holding up the flagstaff while under a femdom assault was a bit inspirational to me.

Her core desire to be loved, appreciated, and not exploited is really, really, really resonate with me. I'm 100% in her corner on that one.


Nicely said cloudboy. 

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 2:50:46 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

My point to you was that sissy scored a point off of you. It was a good one, too. No one else really seemed to pick up upon that.


I didn't know it was a game.  If everyone else missed the "point".. maybe he didn't have one to make. 
quote:


Sissy's main point, which is one I take well to heart, is try to see and have a curiosity in individuals --- as opposed to not seeing individuals because you are blinded by mass labels, generalizations, prejudices, and past experiences.

And how do you form YOUR opinons? From experience comes wisdom. 

Perhaps you missed post 74 here.  READ it..
 
 
quote:


Her core desire to be loved, appreciated, and not exploited is really, really, really resonate with me. I'm 100% in her corner on that one.

Well wonderful, he has someone in his corner then.  Perhaps you two can comfort each other.   And in the doing, realize that your  fetish is not other peoples' fetish.  Give the respect you seek

(Otherwise, I have a housedress with your name on it).

(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 3:00:22 PM   
Kahri


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong


I just don't find women sexually appealing to me.. real or otherwise.  I'm a gay male in a woman's body and I LIKE it in here :)


Amen sister!  I knew there was another woman out there just like me - and I'm quite glad to meet you.

< Message edited by Kahri -- 9/19/2006 3:01:41 PM >

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 3:05:24 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

And would you still be interested in your girlfriend if she sprung the fact on you that she can only get aroused by wearing a padded belly under her flannel shirt with a painted on beard and plastic penis shoved down her baggy jeans?



Frankly, I love women in Men's clothes --- and probably prefer them to conventional, feminine attire. She wouldn't wear a flannel shirt though, but if she wanted to wear a jock strap with a sock in it -- that might be fun, especially out in public. Nothing you've mentioned would stop me from taking her hand, looking into her eyes and kissing her. If, too, I could somehow validate and connect with her kink --- and this animated and aroused her --- well I see a lot of good in that.

My point to you was that sissy scored a point off of you. It was a good one, too. No one else really seemed to pick up upon that.

Sissy's main point, which is one I take well to heart, is try to see and have a curiosity in individuals --- as opposed to not seeing individuals because you are blinded by mass labels, generalizations, prejudices, and past experiences.

I think CDs have it tough enough as it is, w/o a bunch of piling on. Furthermore, CDs tend to be especially vulnerable, isolated, lost, and unpartnered. So, seeing sissy, who had intelligence, backbone, wit --- holding up the flagstaff while under a femdom assault was a bit inspirational to me.

Sorry, must have missed that.
quote:


Her core desire to be loved, appreciated, and not exploited is really, really, really resonate with me. I'm 100% in her corner on that one.

quote:


Nicely said cloudboy. 



And the point was missed.  We are not talking "men's" clothing alone.  If a Man liked to wear women's clothing, I have no problem with that, but they  will  also put on the amenities and their version of a female persona. 
 
Now with my said "girlfriend" example,  he seemed to miss the painted (or glued) on facial hair and simulated potbelly.. add  a deep voice to top it off.  Not socks,  prosthetic penis. Add that she insists you refer to her as SIR or He. 
 
Let's envision the whole nine yards as a surprise revelation... And be HONEST.


And the more I read this thread, I'm not getting any more endeared to the practice.

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 9/19/2006 3:25:32 PM >

(in reply to joyinslavery)
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RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 3:35:53 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
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I like intelligent and ethical play partners who share some of my non kinky interests and whose primary interest is in the other human being they are scening with, not the specific fetish clothes or toys that are used in the scene.

Some cross dressers fall into this category and some don't.  I would have to say that the majority of people with very strong and very specific fetish interests tend not to be much fun for me to play with, specifically because their interest in the fetish seems to outweigh their interest in relating to me as a person.  That really isn't fun for me, so I'd rather not play with fetishists who don't seem to care who I am as long as I do the right things, wear the right clothes, make them wear the right clothes, etc.  Not all fetishists are like this, but I've run into quite a few who are.

Someone who was intelligent, fun, genuinely interested in me as human being and willing to do many of the things that *I* like without insisting on doing it exactly his way with his fetish all of the time would be a good play partner whether he was into cross dressing or not.  Someone who insisted on doing it his way all of the time and was never willing to explore any other kinds of scening, not so much.

Transgender people are a whole different ballpark; it's not a fetish for them  but simply the truth of their gender.  I can totally respect that and would always treat a transgendered sub according to the gender they really feel they are.  What I cannot respect is someone who calls himself a sub but is only interested in doing things HIS way 100% of the time, never being willing to explore any other kinds of scening except what HE wants.  Doesn't matter what the fetish is, only the fact that the so-called sub puts the fetish above his partner's needs and desires and will not compromise.  Someone who is a fetishist but not a submissive would do better finding other fetishists to partner with and being honest about what they are seeking.

Cross dressing a subbie (or even just a non subly fetishist CD/TV friend) can be a whole lot of fun.  Cross dressing someone who won't play any other way and who doesn't seem to care whether or not I have any fun as long as he gets his scene exactly his way is absolutely NO fun.  Are all fetishists like this?  No, but in my experience a very high percentage of them are.  It's not specifically about cross dressers, though clothes are one of the more common things for a fetishist to fixate on.  Some people fetishize foot worship or bondage to the point that they really have no other scene related interests.  Sometimes even to the point that they can't even seem to relate to another human being in a scene, or in a relationship for that matter.  That's a problem for me.

My primary interest in a play partner is the human being I am exchanging energy with and spending time with.  If he is a good person, an intelligent and ethical person whose company I enjoy, and if he likes and respects me in turn and really cares about my having a good time when we scene, I will have fun playing with him.  Unfortunately if he only likes to do one kind of scene, no matter what that one kind of scene is, I'd get pretty bored with a steady diet of it.  I would be friends and casual play partners with someone in that situation, but I would not want to have a primary partner whose kink interests were very narrowly focused or dependent on a single activity. 

Not all fetishists are selfish, uncaring assholes, just like not all femdoms are selfish, money grubbing man haters.  But some are.  All you can do is to get to know people on an individual basis and decide for yourself whether they are worth spending your time with. 

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 9/19/2006 3:36:55 PM >

(in reply to subTVjean)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 3:48:37 PM   
seeks2serv


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/22/2004
Status: offline
Do all Mistresses like cross-dressers.....do all cops like doughnuts, do all dogs hate mailmen, do all Italians like meatballs, do all Irish like to drink.......maybe that's a bad example, i think we all do.....but what i'm trying to say is all Mistresses are indevidual Women and all Women like different things, depends on the person

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Do Mistresses like Cross-Dressers ? - 9/19/2006 3:54:07 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

Trying to get in the last word while not really winning the debate or acknowledging the points of your opponents is a somewhat conceited posting strategy. No one is trying to make you like CDs, that's besides the point.

There was the hypocrisy issue of self centeredness is bad for them and good for us --- and there is the other theme of trying to see people as differentiated individuals. These issues transcend your own personal tastes, and require a bit of thinking outside the box.

The stereotype CD you infer from your ludicrous example below:

quote:

If a Man liked to wear women's clothing, I have no problem with that, but they will also put on the amenities and their version of a female persona.

Now with my said "girlfriend" example, he seemed to miss the painted (or glued) on facial hair and simulated potbelly.. add a deep voice to top it off. Not socks, prosthetic penis. Add that she insists you refer to her as SIR or He.


doesn't really exist. Why import it? Its distorted. It has all the classic earmarks of ugly bigotry attached to it as well. (Because its derogatory.)

The fact is, most CDs like to work WITH women, and they are more than open to negotiation.

No one, and this is basically an across the board truism, likes their partner to dictate elements of personal taste, dress, behavior and manner. Why you try to stamp this negative trait onto CDs, I don't understand.

What people seek is a synergy. What people typically seek here is a D/S synergy. What CDs seek is a gender bending synergy.

Would you not be better off trying to understand it as opposed to trying to categorize it with a closed and hostile mind?


(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 100
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