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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 3:52:08 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

This sub replies: "I KNOW you're not talking to me".

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"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

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*Beware of dog*

(in reply to badkittyamy)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 3:59:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

This sub replies: "I KNOW you're not talking to me".

Good becase I wasn't. Actually I wasn't referring to anyone in specific at all the statement was for everyone including Dom/mes. If anything I know Dom/mes together can often get hotheaded and shout off at each other. But if anything a sub should know a tad more about manners and I don't know It was in ym teaching that I was told that you always speak to Dom/mes with respect or at least politely unless they have done something to not deserve it.

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:05:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

This sub replies: "I KNOW you're not talking to me".

Good becase I wasn't. Actually I wasn't referring to anyone in specific at all the statement was for everyone including Dom/mes. If anything I know Dom/mes together can often get hotheaded and shout off at each other. But if anything a sub should know a tad more about manners and I don't know It was in ym teaching that I was told that you always speak to Dom/mes with respect or at least politely unless they have done something to not deserve it.

Cool.

Edited to add the little smiley face thing.

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 10/1/2006 4:06:53 PM >

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to badkittyamy)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:16:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

Why especially a sub?
Are you implying that there different standards of behavior with regard to civility depending on which side of the proverbial coin you tend to inhabit?
If so...Why, that's just silly.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to badkittyamy)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:31:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

Why especially a sub?
Are you implying that there different standards of behavior with regard to civility depending on which side of the proverbial coin you tend to inhabit?
If so...Why, that's just silly.

Because generally it's in a submissives training, not necesarrily a Dom/me's. In the same way I would expect someone who took etiquite classes to use manners and know the settings on a dinner table etc. before I expected a normal person to have known.

So no I am not expecting different standards of behaviour I am expecting for a submissive to have gone through the steps that they should know it's inapropraite more so than the average person. Again the missed point seems to be that everyone should stop assuming things and employ at least a little common courtesy

< Message edited by badkittyamy -- 10/1/2006 4:33:25 PM >

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:33:35 PM

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I would think the Doms would have to be the more civil of the two. Subs can be kept in check by their Doms, or, if unowned, by the fact that a potential Dom may lose interest in a self righteous jackass.

You know how quickly I lose respect for a rude Dom, or one who has to prove how cool he/she is?

A Domme can tell me to shut up when I'm being an idiot. A Domme that embarasses herself in such a way gets away with it once, mostly because after that, I'm gone.

Yours,

benji

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:33:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

Why especially a sub?
Are you implying that there different standards of behavior with regard to civility depending on which side of the proverbial coin you tend to inhabit?
If so...Why, that's just silly.

Because generally it's in a submissives training, not necesarrily a Dom/me's. In the same way I would expect someone who took etiquite classes to use manners and know the settings on a dinner table etc. before I expected a normal person to have known.

You're kidding, right?

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to badkittyamy)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:34:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I would think the Doms would have to be the more civil of the two. Subs can be kept in check by their Doms, or, if unowned, by the fact that a potential Dom may lose interest in a self righteous jackass.

You know how quickly I lose respect for a rude Dom, or one who has to prove how cool he/she is?

A Domme can tell me to shut up when I'm being an idiot. A Domme that embarasses herself in such a way gets away with it once, mostly because after that, I'm gone.

Yours,

benji

I don't know benji, don't you think we are all responsible for our own behavior, sub/dom stuff aside?

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marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:44:02 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I am expecting for a submissive to have gone through the steps that they should know it's inapropraite more so than the average person.

Oh, like you assume a sub knows better, you mean?

quote:

Again the missed point seems to be that everyone should stop assuming things and employ at least a little common courtesy

The fact that I take issue with a part of something you said does not mean I missed your point.
I think that both a. a general decrease in making assumptions and b. being polite are both generally good ideas.

And as for common courtesy...If we share the standard of courtesy in common, well then ideally we all adhere to the same standard. Doms and subs alike.

< Message edited by justheather -- 10/1/2006 4:50:42 PM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to badkittyamy)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:44:20 PM

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Of course. But not everyone aims to be the posterchild of "good" behaviour. I know I don't.

Now, a Domme comes along and we get along great, but I swear too much for her taste (And I do swear a lot!) She can change that in a matter of days.

If she swears too much for my taste, I'm skewered.

One can be changed by the opposite party, one cannot. Therefore, it is more important for a Domme to present herself with impeccable manners than for a sub.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to marieToo)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:48:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.

Why especially a sub?
Are you implying that there different standards of behavior with regard to civility depending on which side of the proverbial coin you tend to inhabit?
If so...Why, that's just silly.

Because generally it's in a submissives training, not necesarrily a Dom/me's. In the same way I would expect someone who took etiquite classes to use manners and know the settings on a dinner table etc. before I expected a normal person to have known.

You're kidding, right?

Okay I think my words are somehow getting misconstrued to some point. I don't know exactly what you believe me to be kidding about. The example I used however was out of cntext with this situation. Would you not expect someone (not necesarily a sub or into bdsm) who had taken etiquitte classes to know more about proper manners and dinign setting than the average person? In my training and what i have seen in the lifestyle I was simply stating it was my experience that a submissive gets a basic how to on how to behave and address people offline or otherwise.

Maybe a different example then? I would expect someone who had taken classes in cpr to know more about cpr than a normal person. Better? Again I am not saying a Dom/me has the right to be rude, that was not my point here. My point is that the way some people were making assumptions because of a way of dress etc simply wasn't polite or well mannered. -hits head on desk- This again is what happened with the OP the whole point of the post was taken elsewhere and I was simply stating that some of the behaviour seemed inappropriate to me in the replies.

I have a very interesting set of interests listed as well but it also says that I am a collared submissive. I would deem any advances towards me very rude and inconsiderate.

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:53:11 PM

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I do not believe that any submissive/slave "should" have better manners than any dominant/master/mistress. Teasing, joking is one thing but flat out rudeness I find inexcusable in any sane adult human being.

Granted, I am not perfect. But I strive for it most days.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 4:59:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I do not believe that any submissive/slave "should" have better manners than any dominant/master/mistress. Teasing, joking is one thing but flat out rudeness I find inexcusable in any sane adult human being.

Granted, I am not perfect. But I strive for it most days.

Again I wholly agree here I think in my first statement I should have noted I was refering to more of behaviour I expect out of myself as a sub more than the genral populace as everyone has different methods and practices. I call my Lady by name most would find that a bit odd of a sub.

Edit: Believe me if I could edit my first post to amend the statement I would. I was just kind of making a quick reply at the time and it seems I should have stated exactly what I ment a tad more clearly.

< Message edited by badkittyamy -- 10/1/2006 5:02:18 PM >

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 5:12:36 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji
Now, a Domme comes along and we get along great, but I swear too much for her taste (And I do swear a lot!) She can change that in a matter of days.

If she swears too much for my taste, I'm skewered.

One can be changed by the opposite party, one cannot. Therefore, it is more important for a Domme to present herself with impeccable manners than for a sub.

Negotiation, honesty and clear communication are pretty important concepts to me in a D/s relationship. In some areas of my life I'm willing to compromise and negotiate to make a partner comfortable, and in some areas I'm not. You wouldn't necessarily have any way of knowing which is which without asking politely. But in my view, if a sub felt truly unable or unwilling to ask me politely, I would have failed in establishing healthy lines of communication in our relationship.

Would I be willing to completely change aspects of my life or habits that I felt strongly about wanting to keep just to please someone else? No. But I do believe in constantly striving to better myself, and if someone has a positive suggestion for me about bettering myself, I will listen to it with thought and consideration regardless of where it comes from. If a sub told me that I swore too much and offered constructive suggestions on how I could improve my self discipline, my temper and my manners, I would listen to the feedback with an open mind, thank him for it, and then make my own decision about what I wanted to do.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/1/2006 5:31:31 PM

EbonyFtshGoddess

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From: Hollywood Hills, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

And those, ladies and gentleman are the words of a person that garners MY respect!

Not that Ebony needs it mind you. However, I admire the person behind those words.

that is very kind of you to say.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

One thing too many on here forget....we don't all have to agree, we don't all have to do/like/want, the same shit. How boring this world would be if we did. But I get so sick of all the trash talking on this site just because we don't all see eye to eye on everything. It does not matter. It just sure does suck that we have to treat others like dogshit when we don't agree with them. It's immature and disrespectful of the other person's humanity. Not to mention it makes us look like fools when we do it.

honestly, i think a lot of the dissention and flat out assholery on this forum (and pretty much any other forum) stems from the anonymity that being behind a computer affords people. i would like to believe that people truly don't behave in such a petty & juvenile fashion in public, but then again, the world isn't perfect and some people flat out lack civility and social graces.

i can only think of ONE online forum that i participate in (it's a scuba/free diving forum) where people just don't act like this AT ALL. it's actually a pleasure to go there and you know your question or a topic will be given the same respect they'd want/expect in return. even if you ask a flat out stupid ass question like "what is does SCUBA stand for" (and yes someone actually did ask that once) people still answered that post in a civil manner or at least just ignored it. i've been on that forum for like two years and i've never seen one flame war, not one pissing match or whatever. it's not like that forum is utopia, or that the members agree on everything or even like it's heavily moderated to death- people just handle any disagreements like adults and we treat the forum for it's intended purpose. .. and that's to share information and make contacts.

the problem here is that people don't ignore posts that would cause them to reply rudely. egos get in the way, tempers flare and they just type & hit send without giving even the slightest thought to how it will be received by those reading it. it's almost like people take pride in being crass here at times or trying to *one up* the other person.

with that being said, i still believe this forum has a lot of saving graces.

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/2/2006 8:03:37 PM

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I am laughing so hard - I know I have read this 100 times

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/2/2006 9:46:58 PM

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I must admit to not reading the entire post, after all I am a slave and I have to go and manipulate my Master into doing me.

Yanno I dont know why everyone has thier panties in a knot, being a slave/submissive is all about sex. What we can do to get it, how we can get it again, how long it will be before we get it again.

Is there something I have missed I was sure that is what this was all about??

Its worked for me so far.

Owned

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(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/2/2006 9:56:25 PM

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From: Nassau, Bahamas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

I must admit to not reading the entire post, after all I am a slave and I have to go and manipulate my Master into doing me.

Yanno I dont know why everyone has thier panties in a knot, being a slave/submissive is all about sex. What we can do to get it, how we can get it again, how long it will be before we get it again.

Is there something I have missed I was sure that is what this was all about??

Its worked for me so far.

Owned

I'm not sure if that was supposed to be sarcasm or not so I'm not touching that with a 10 ft pole but I will say it's certainly not what I as a sub am about.

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/2/2006 9:59:42 PM

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badkitty, notice the

at the end of my post. It is impossible to put many tones into the written word. The smilies are how many indicate the intent of their posts.

In other words, it was meant as humour

Owned

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RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/3/2006 5:28:51 AM

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I think its hard decision for sub to serve a lady without any reward ? how will you reward your slave ( if he does something thats worth reward) if you are not going to have sex with him.?

(in reply to Owned1)

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