Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Why all submissives are all about sex??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/14/2006 7:53:57 AM   
Mistrix


Posts: 186
Joined: 2/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyFtshGoddess

ok.. i can't help but ask this of the Mistresses & Female Dominants amongst us.

can someone please explain to me why males are always complaining that some dommes want/expect/demand/require tribute.. yet not many dommes seem to complain about all of the sexual requests/wants/expectations/demands placed upon us.

for me, i don't use my slaves sexually.. i prefer dominant men. if i DID fuck my slaves he sure as hell wouldn't be someone that approached me offering that.

rather than piss and moan about it, i simply just pass these males up.

why do they think it's a submissive act to do something to us that we could get in any vanilla relationship?Don't put all the submissive's and their action in the same fruit bowl, hun.

so let me get this straight.. it's ok for *subs*  to approach dominants with a xmas list of sexual activities they want to engage in? they can do whatever the hell they want....it's up to Me to correct a sub if I feel he's out of place.  Some need a good quality Domina to set them straight on who you are and what your about.  COMMUNICATION.

i truly feel these are the males that view professional domination or dommes that accept tribute or gifts as prostitution because they primarily equate their servitude as sexual.. I have spoken to many many subs and say...out of at least 10 Pro Dommes 8 were escorts in the past.  Pro Domme to me is erotic, not sexual. 

why is it that they have such an aversion to gifting or tributing, but have NO problem sticking their tongues up a stranger's ass, into her pussy, eating shit, being pissed on etc? Again dont' put AL L of them in a same fruit bowl.

and i know i can't be the only woman that doesn't use her slaves sexually. i have done it in the past.. and i'm not saying i won't ever do it again, but anyone that approaches me SPECIFICALLY for sexual service has always turned me off- especially from someone that doesn't even serve me in any Tother capacity. shit, that's just a kinky booty call. what the fuck? I have NEVER used my sub sexually and got paid for it, neither have I escorted or ever will.   Those particulars that are contacing you for sexual service are obviously need to be told that your not.  Or maybe your profile states it.  I dont' find it happens to me at all.

if someone is in a committed relationship with her slave and she chooses to utilize him sexually, i feel that's entirely different than these twats that approach dommes with a wishlist of sexual things they want from her, claiming to be a *slave* or a *sub* when in stark reality.. all they want is to get off in a kinky or fetishy fashion.

any thoughts?
Those were my thoughts and my own only.  I only speak from experience.


_____________________________

I am a Woman, above everything else.

One is too many and a thousand is never enough.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/14/2006 2:55:43 PM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline
I agree with Mistrix,

Why do we word things and say "all". not "all" subs are about sex. I am a sub male and am not all about sex. I am not even all about BDSM. I am about serving, loving caring for the ONE Lady/Domme I love. Sure I like sex and sure I like BDSM play as well as the next person. But to say "all" subs are about sex is like saying all Dommes are abusing and abusing a sub. WRONG!
I wouls agree, thaty there are many male players that have sex on their minds and think that is all there is to D/s and or BDSM. But I am proud and happy to say that I cherrish and love my Domme and it is Her happiness and comfort that comes first and formost. I just love pleasing Her.

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to Mistrix)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/14/2006 4:21:44 PM   
justinca200


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline
I agree to some point yes, its not all about sex, its the fact bout pleasing however, in doing so, what if someone is looking for a relationship and searching for a collar and wanting to be with her, then he is seeking everything in bdsm and being with her, every male wants to have sex, i dont care who you are, I  have read and seen so much contridiction in here, and who is actually telling the truth. You wanna know my theory, i think people in there 30 dont want any part of anything nor a relationship becuase they dont know what they want .everyone has and opinion on everything.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/14/2006 5:34:35 PM   
Morrigel


Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline
To each her own.  I personally like all the things a man can give me, so long as they are given willingly/passionately.  Prezzies are nice.  Worship is nice.  Submission is nice.

Cocks are nice too. 

--M

(in reply to stillexploring)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 10/14/2006 5:58:18 PM   
DesireDeeva


Posts: 48
Joined: 10/5/2006
From: IN...livin in MI.
Status: offline
EbonyFtsh,
 
I've never even thought about having sex w/any of my sub's, yet I'm finding out that so many so-called subs are actually into the lifestyle because they "assume" they're gettin laid...

_____________________________

This msg was brought to you in part by....Me, the sensual side of kink.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/24/2007 10:52:39 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
yeeeeeeeeehawwwwwww an oldie but goodie thread 

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 2:22:52 PM   
MuscleyandCute


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather


quote:

ORIGINAL: badkittyamy
I don't care that this is a different lifestyle for most, that does not give one an excuse to be rude, especially a sub.


Why especially a sub?
Are you implying that there different standards of behavior with regard to civility depending on which side of the proverbial coin you tend to inhabit?
If so...Why, that's just silly.



Because generally it's in a submissives training, not necesarrily a Dom/me's. In the same way I would expect someone who took etiquite classes to use manners and know the settings on a dinner table etc. before I expected a normal person to have known.



You're kidding, right? 



Marie and justheather I have a question for you both please.  You both look like nice ladies who have some self respect and dont prejeduce or judge people just because of their sub or Dom etc.  This implies to me you are respectfull yourself, while of course not pushovers. 

Im really a sub but know I can be a good Dominant, I have done it b4 in the past.  I find it quite simple and it does actually turn me on too but not as much as being submissive of course.  My question is do you think if I gave a submissive what she wanted, do you think it might work? and that we can mutually exchange roles?  I wonder?!  Sorry for putting you on the spot here, I know Im a masochist but looking at the Dommes profiles here is a hard limit.   

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 2:36:13 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline
I agree we are all not about sex.  It seems that most of the male submissives on here are, though.
That gives us all a bad name.  Some of us are serious, and we are about serving and submitting
to our Dominant's.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 3:34:42 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I agree we are all not about sex.  It seems that most of the male submissives on here are, though.
That gives us all a bad name.  Some of us are serious, and we are about serving and submitting
to our Dominant's.


I agree, but you're more of an abberation.  Imo, the feeling of frustration that most submissive men are really only about sex arises simply because the majority of men with whom these dominant women are referring to  are really “bottoms”.   Everybody loves sex and the submissive man is no different,  however,  for the submissive man, having his sexual needs met are secondary, whereas putting a smile on her face and in her heart is primary.

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 2/25/2007 3:35:29 PM >

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 3:38:06 PM   
porthuronsub


Posts: 339
Joined: 4/26/2005
Status: offline
Why do people start threads with a generalized statement?  I am a sub, totally not all about the sex.
'splain that to me Lucy.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 3:56:57 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porthuronsub

Why do people start threads with a generalized statement?  I am a sub, totally not all about the sex.
'splain that to me Lucy.


It's just easier, unfortunately, to label and box someone up, forgetting that there's a multidemensional person inside.  People are not comfortable unless they can attach a label on someone.  Sadly, that's not too smart, nor is it fair:  people are always so much more that what you see on the outer surface.

(in reply to porthuronsub)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/25/2007 9:02:28 PM   
Ecubed313


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/23/2007
Status: offline
Good point!! I personally am so sick of all of the fake subs on here that I am deleting my profile. I have had nothing but trouble from this site from men saying they would send me tributes and who never did only to use me to men seeking 'free' pussy. Although I sometimes do use subs for my sexual pleasure - I CHOOSE WHO I WANT TO BE WITH. I cannot tell you how many e-mails I receive daily asking to lick, suck or fuck my pussy...if I wanted that I would go to a bar. I thought this would be a good avenue to meet real submissive men, but have discovered otherwise. Good luck to all the Domme out there who can wade through the bullshit because I can't anymore.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 2/26/2007 2:08:57 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ecubed313
I personally am so sick of all of the fake subs on here that I am deleting my profile. I have had nothing but trouble from this site from men saying they would send me tributes and who never did only to use me to men seeking 'free' pussy.


It seems your metric for whether a sub is genuine or not is whether one sends tribute or not. Were you in a courtship that was otherwise satisfying but an unmet promise for tribute removed trust? Or were you in a courtship that was not satisfying on its own, and the reason to continue was the anticipated tribute, the lack of which created the frustration you now feel? That is, how exactly would the tribute have made right what is currently wrong?

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to Ecubed313)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 3/2/2007 10:18:12 AM   
pinksissyPA


Posts: 90
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline
Well said Ms Vampire.  i have served Dommes who didn't have sex with subs or slaves as they considered them inferior while i have served other Dommes who allowed sex as a reward but only after knowing them for quite some tiime. 

obediently,
pink

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 3/2/2007 10:24:12 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
there's "that" word again...the all-inclusiveness of the word is appalling in most seetings.

not "all" male submissives are in this lifestyle for sex. some of us actually wish to serve in a non-sexual manner.

sex is over-rated. i certainly wouldn't pay for it...or pay for the opportunity to serve a Mistress.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 3/2/2007 11:17:03 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Master Fire, usually I have great respect for your words but I have to disagree on this point.

If a woman dresses in a manner that she feels comfortably fits her personality wether it be construed as "sexy" or not, should still not be an open invitation for sex. If so, then all the rapists that have used a similar argument for their defense would have a valid point. Granted, this is just my personal opinion, but anyone that would determine a woman's motives based entirely upon her attire is someone I don't wish to know. If I wear a fitted black evening gown with a low neckline and a pair of high heels it is considered sexy, it does not mean I want to have sex. Anyone that approached me with that assumption would be firmly put in their place.



I know I am a bit late into this, but I did want to comment on this.

I understand its your opinion and I understand where you are coming from, but I find the logic to be flawed.

If you saw someone dressed like a police officer, would you not assume they were a cop?

If you saw someone dressed like a firefighter, would you not assume they were a fightfiger?

As Dave Chapelle put it, "You might not be a whore, but thats certainly a whore's outfit and that shit is confusing."

In principle, no one's motivations and intent should be judged by their attire, but we do it on a daily basis to function in society.

If I were to walk up to a man on the street wearing a big white apron and standing in front of a hot dog cart and said "Your attire appears to be that of a hog dog vendor, but are you actually selling hot dogs?"...they would probably look at me like I was stupid.

Or as Dave Chapelle also put it, does it make sense to dress up in a police uniform and insult people for thinking you are a cop?

Women are the one's who display courting gestures and men are typically the ones who approach based on these gestures. While most of these gestures fall into the category of body language, clothing and perfume are typically some of these gestures.

If I saw two women sitting alone in a bar, one was dressed like a librarian and one was dressed in clothing that highlighted the body parts that were used to court men (breasts and ass) and my intent was of the sexual nature, I would, undoubtedly, approach the one dressed in the sexy clothing. It, of course, is your right to tell me that your not interested, but to judge me as "someone you dont want to know" based on the signals I took from your clothing is silly. Do you not want nothing to do people who make the judgement that a person is a police officer based on the police uniform he is wearing? If thats the case, everyone more or less falls into that category.

Finnally, yes it is used as a justification by rapists, but anger is used constantly as a justification by wife beaters. Are people who get angry automatically in the same category as people who beat their wives? Many people get angry without violence coming from just like many men who's motives are sexual approach women wearing sexy clothing without a rape coming from it.

The point is judging men as being "wrong" for thinking a women dressed in sexual clothing might be interested in sex has no merits. Majority of my one night stands when I was still into the "club and party lifestyle" WERE wearing clothing I perceived to be sexy.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 136
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 3/2/2007 11:24:19 AM   
submgreenbay


Posts: 69
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart

I agree we are all not about sex.  It seems that most of the male submissives on here are, though.
That gives us all a bad name.  Some of us are serious, and we are about serving and submitting
to our Dominant's.


I've noticed  this as well.  To me there are two basic types of submissives.  Erotic submissives and lifestyle submissives. Erotic domination is measured by how excited the man is to obey and be controlled. Lifestyle domination is measured by how much he wants to please his Mistress and make her happy. Those are two different things. 

I think a good 80% of the male population will clearly be more submissive or “motivated” if they are horny. Still there is that other 20% or less that are rare and purely motivated by adoration and devotion. In other words they truly do exist to please.

Naturally the same thing can apply for the dominate.  It all depends on ones motives.

(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 137
RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? - 3/2/2007 11:26:43 AM   
iwearpanties


Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline
hello  all as a submissive male ive neevr heard of nor ever been allowed too have any sex with any Mistress i ever submitted too i was alwasy trained that male sub wherent good enough too be given this pleasure

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 138
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Why all submissives are all about sex?? Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.188