looking 4 mistress so difficult

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

looking 4 mistress so difficult

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> looking 4 mistress so difficult

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 5:07:46 PM

jayslave77

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money, all i want to do is learn from a mistress online how to serve so that when i am ready to serve one in real life i will be ready to. any kind of help would be appreciative.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 5:18:11 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money...

Personally, I think it's because I lack imagination.

Though I have LOTS of ways I like to be served in real time, I can't ever seem to think of anything that a submissive can do to fufill me online. For example, the stress relief I get from physical impact play is palpable, but only if I'm the one wielding the flogger.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 5:20:01 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

Maybe because many of the male submissives online are whiny demanding and if they were honest are truly only looking for wanker material

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 5:25:47 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

Because most fem doms do not want cyber. They want real time. For those who are online dommes, many of them will require payment. Why do you only want online?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Owned1)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 6:54:33 PM

masochistboy

Posts: 24
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Melbourne
Status: offline

Well, firstly, perhaps you should build a relationship with a Mistress rather than tugging off for Them in-front of your webcam. i don't know about other subs, but i don't immediately serve random Domme's that i meet online. If i do, i build a good friendship with Them first and ask for Their photo/webcam. i mean, lets be realistic for a minute, it's most probable that there are males acting as Domme's online and using Their profile photos as their own. This photo requesting isn't so much as a personal gain for me because i have met Domme's online who send photo's of Bettie Page, Tawnee Stone and other ametuer porn stars and claim that it really is Them in the photo. Why serve Someone who can't be honest with you?

Also, don't troll yourself out to several Mistresses while you're only meant to be serving One or else your pee pee is just going to run out of jizz from wanking in-front of your cam for Them.....and mainly because you won't learn much from being a submissive if you can't commit to only one Domme.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 6:59:17 PM

MistressTheaZ

Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

I tend to agree with MsKatHouston.

I do not enjoy online 'training' one iota as much as I enjoy real-time. I play lifestyle and am involved in the local scene as well as being Pro, and like many FemDoms, I get more than enough opportunity and inquiries to indulge as I wish, as often as I wish.

To spend time 'training' a submissive who does Me no real-time benefit in My goings-on and lifestyle lacks meaning compared to what is available in-person at any given time. Why put in the effort to train, mold and condition someone according to My own preferences and desires when you state you are only seeking experience in preparation for when you 'really' seek to serve?

I would venture to say that a number of online subs (excluding those who are online but looking toward relocation) I've encountered over the years are often seeking to have an experience they can control, and only one in accordance with indulging their own whims. While I will take a sub for online depending on the query proposed, I would ask tribute for the time and effort involved considering how little benefit it is overall for Me...

If you are serious about learning, I'd suggest you acquaint yourself with your local BDSM scene and begin meeting others and learning in-person. If you want to seek a Mistress, networking through the scene while learning about yourself and what your capabilities are would likely be better than 'serving' online until you find someone real-time.
Why dip a toe when you can wade in?

JMO.

~Thea

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:12:11 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money

Being served online gets boring very quickly. It is like reading an interactive novel, it just doesnt hold the interest when we get no realtime enjoyment out of it.
I dont agree with asking for money, but maybe that makes it easier for them to stay interested longterm.

Personally, if I dont know it is going to lead somewhere realtime, I cant stay interested.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:15:20 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money, all i want to do is learn from a mistress online how to serve so that when i am ready to serve one in real life i will be ready to. any kind of help would be appreciative.

I've actually done some research on this and I've found; It's because they don't tend to offer coupons.

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:27:38 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

You want to learn from someone online so that when you want to serve in real life you will be ready. You don't want to do this with a prodomme.

My question for you is, what does she get out of it?

You want her to help you, but ...as a very new person who isn't willing to serve, you aren't giving anything. Even if your "I want to serve online" plea is legitimate and not just a jerk-off ploy, it's still asking for a dominant to give you something without being of use first. In my D/s world, that doesn't make sense.

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:31:28 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear jayslave7, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Lad, one reason why most dominant women do not do cyber, it is very impersonal. In addition, when you're off line you're free as a naked jay bird in January. That is conditional submission, to which is intermitten. It would be like learning how to drive a clutch/manual transmission--as, it is jerky and uncomfortable for all.

Another thing about 'learning' and or 'training' to be a slave/servant and or submissive, that dominants are particular on how they wish their slaves to serve. So if I taught you my method, another dominant would not understand it and totally change what I taught. Much like customizing, it really is a personal 'choice' of a dominant; how their slave/submissive/servant serves. I am very formal protocol minded, so those who aren't might find it awkward.

Best slave education you will get, is from those fellow slaves among you who are 'actively' serving or have served in the past. There may be an academy that you might find interest, to which is good for the basics but, again--higher level of service is all dominant's choice and no dominant dominates the same way. Of course this will be a great frustration to any slave eager to learn or to 'train up.'

In the meantime, you may wish to research with several 'servant' sights, such as the International Guilde of Professional Butlers, Emily Post and other 'books' and or publications on such. Serving meals, ideas can be achieved by inquiries to the Internet, such as serving tea, etiquette of the table, knowing what glass goes with what beverage; setting the table, linens used, types of china or place settings and the like. Advice columns on how to host/hostess a party and such. Learning little things, like using non-scented candles at the table is proper candle etiquette, not using candles unless the table is in need of light, mostly during the evening or on dark gloomy days. How to place the candles as to cast light on the guest's plate and how height plays a part in such. The tricks of the trade, is to burn off the wax on the wick and let one drop fall into the candle holder, then place the candle and set it--the wax will cool and seal to the candle taper's base, keeping it steady and still--no matter how much the table is jostled. Things like that.

So, in summary--there are things you can do, as to add to the enhancement of serving qualities without lowering your worth to online 'role play.'

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:33:24 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money, all i want to do is learn from a mistress online how to serve so that when i am ready to serve one in real life i will be ready to. any kind of help would be appreciative.

I've actually done some research on this and I've found; It's because they don't tend to offer coupons.

LOL that is just so wrong. Hysterical, but wrong

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:38:02 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

You want to learn from someone online so that when you want to serve in real life you will be ready. You don't want to do this with a prodomme.

My question for you is, what does she get out of it?

You want her to help you, but ...as a very new person who isn't willing to serve, you aren't giving anything. Even if your "I want to serve online" plea is legitimate and not just a jerk-off ploy, it's still asking for a dominant to give you something without being of use first. In my D/s world, that doesn't make sense.

MSS

amen. You get something out of it, why shouldn't she? Personally, I'm an in person kind of girl....try yahoo chat, there seem to be a lot of online Dommes there....but be careful, some of them will sneak up on ya and rape your wallet after they get ya hooked....LOL

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:48:38 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I would agree with LadyHugs and some of the other posters. What I want in a RL sub is different than others. I'd probably be more opposite Lady Hugs, protocol drives me up a wall. Rigid conformity to rules someone else set up a long time ago, that don't have much practical use, don't work in my world. It's not that I don't appreciate the beauty of a well set table but the formality of 14 forks and a servant looking over my shoulder at every second would be like nails on a chalkboard.
Much of what we do is hands on and doesn't translate well to the cyber world. A flogging or caning is lost in a cyber world. Pulling his hair and forcing his direct gaze when he's mis-behaved is lost on someone at a keyboard that can just get up and walk away while I'm talking to them. There is also the accountability issue. It's too easy for someone even on cam to lie about what they have done during the day, had for dinner, & aren't doing under the table while talking to you."No really mistress I'm not whacking off this white stuff is mayonaise from the sandwich you told me I couldn't have".

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 10/14/2006 7:50:43 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to theRose4U)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 7:52:45 PM

TxBlkMistress

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline

[/quote]

I've actually done some research on this and I've found; It's because they don't tend to offer coupons.
[/quote]

LOL perfect.....lol

_____________________________

Being Domme it is a way of life for me, not a kink, but it's not the only thing that defines me. Get to know me as person, you might like what you find.

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 8:11:04 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money, all i want to do is learn from a mistress online how to serve so that when i am ready to serve one in real life i will be ready to. any kind of help would be appreciative.

Because the way you present yourself online is the only basis on which other people can judge you online. If you write in an articulate, intelligent and interesting way that catches the eye and impresses people, you will earn their positive attention.

If you type things like "looking 4 mistress so difficult", you give the impression that you are not particularly intelligent, articulate or interesting,. Not many people want to talk online with folks who can't express themselves very well, or who cannot communicate on an intelligent adult level.

Not bothering to type well or spell out whole words is sort of like not bothering to wash your clothes or comb your hair before going on a date. It does not tend to impress anyone favorably.

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 8:14:13 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

Because most fem doms do not want cyber. They want real time. For those who are online dommes, many of them will require payment. Why do you only want online?

(What she said...)

Figure it out bud...you're in the minority (accept it or move on..it's math).

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 10/14/2006 8:15:54 PM >

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 8:18:18 PM

MotherEve

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Najakcharmer My compliments for such a direct and no nonsense answer! I almost wet my pants it drove so hard into me... The folks who don't take the time to correctly construct an interesting profile are the ones who wonder why they are ignored. Misspellings and obvious bad grammer to me are more of a turn off than a less than attractice photo. An intelligent but less than physically beautiful person has my attention any day.

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 8:20:15 PM

MotherEve

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

lol I misspelled attractive. Ok gotta take my own medicine here. Mother Eve

(in reply to MotherEve)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 8:33:12 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear MotherEve, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eye; I do consider those who don't spell well or spell things out may suffer from Dyslexia. It has cursed a dear friend of mine all his life. Very intelligent orally but, to write; he comes across as a uneducated person. It is so difficult to know right up front indeed; as to be understanding with someone so affected with Dyslexia or to be disinterested by those who indeed have no excuses to be lazy.

I agree to those comments of Najakcharmer, to which those who do not make an effort to spell and communicated in a manner to be inviting to engage in communications; are not worth communicating with at all.

Matters little in my mind's eye, if they claim to have 20 years into the lifestyle, if they short cut or display laziness in their communications. Only tolerance is for restricted amount of characters in a topic box, etc.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to MotherEve)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: looking 4 mistress so difficult - 10/14/2006 10:15:42 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jayslave77

why is it so hard to find a mistress to serve online that doesnt want money, all i want to do is learn from a mistress online how to serve so that when i am ready to serve one in real life i will be ready to. any kind of help would be appreciative.

It's hard to find a mistress because we're busy each day answering another guy that posts this same whine about not being able to find a mistress.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to jayslave77)

Profile

Post #: 20