RE: Sex on First Meeting..

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Sex on First Meeting..

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Sex on First Meeting..

Page: << < prev 6 7 8 9 [10]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:22:34 PM

xBullx

Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Tal,

So let me get this straight, is a shared cigar having sex?

Bull

(in reply to DomFey)

Profile

Post #: 181

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:28:41 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: psykocloud32

I never have sex on a first date, never, and then I don't always have sex while scening with someone either. ......... I always make that very clear to everyone I speak with

Could make for interesting grocery shopping.

"You go ahead, you only have a few items."

"Thanks! By the way, if you tie me up and whip me, I won't have sex with you."

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to psykocloud32)

Profile

Post #: 182

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:39:48 PM

DomFey

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Methinks the operative word here is "penetrative".

As a Domme, I often have sex with a partner when both of us will cum--or one of us, or neither of us--but there is NO penetration of any sort involved. There may, OR MAY NOT be mouth-to-genital contact. It is still sex.

Beware of what are called "technical virgins".

Best,

DomFey

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Profile

Post #: 183

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:45:36 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomFey

As a Domme, I often have sex with a partner when both of us will cum--or one of us, or neither of us--but there is NO penetration of any sort involved. There may, OR MAY NOT be mouth-to-genital contact. It is still sex.

In that case, I've had sex with almost every bunny out there.

I never knew it was that easy!

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to DomFey)

Profile

Post #: 184

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 8:05:43 PM

DomFey

Posts: 12
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Sex researchers have struggled for years with survey questions regarding "having sex" and how different people define it. For some, "having sex" is a french kiss. For others, anal play doesn't qualify, only penile-vaginal intercourse. By that standard, many active, practicing lesbians and gays without heterosexual experience would be judged to have never "had sex". I use this only as an example.

There has been much reporting on studies of high school students who believe that mouth-to-genital contact, as well as anal play, is not "sex".

I do not mean to start a fight here--perhaps this would be better dealt with in a new thread. But I ask you, exactly what activities do you consider to be "sex" and what are not? Why do you parse them the way you do? Please define.

Thank you,

DomFey

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Profile

Post #: 185

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 11:48:22 PM

patina

Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsnowywolf

I would like to hear some more answers to this question also. I run into many Doms who either want sex or want instant obedience and I barely know them. That is why i have given up looking for now.

I was very stupid and overeager when I first joined this site and thought my 4 yrs experience of on-line dating would provide me with a good enough knowledge for recognizing fakers. To my dismay it did not, I had many fakers and wannabe take advantage of me. By reading the forums and contacting a few Masters on here I was able to learn how to tell the difference. I am now the sub of a Master he lives in MA after the holidays we will finally actually meet. Due to health reasons and after he has seen a heart specialists we will decided if I am to accept a collar then.

We have discussed sex but have left it to be how we both feel at time of meeting but he said even before he know of his heart condition that he did not believe in expectig such an intimate thing from a sub/slave until she/he was ready. That is how you gain trust which is most needed in this lifestyle. You can only give yourself fully and openly to a Master you can trust and respect. If you have any doubts at all during any talking with them then they are no good.

I have always trusted my gut instinct. I may have let a few morons get close to me but I always let my gut instinct rule in the end.

Yes it is worth it to keep looking you just have to set rules and guidelies and not let any man on here say he is your Master till YOU say it first. Know what you are worth and don't forget it. I wish you luck in your search.

Patina

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to lilsnowywolf)

Profile

Post #: 186

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/13/2006 9:42:54 AM

WillowRain

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Wow, that is just terrifying. Just goes to show you that who people are, what they need and who they match with can varry hugely. I would at least hope that the submissives in question knew what kind of experiance they were about to have. I would never meet anyone for a first meeting at a private residance. I don't think there is a wrong or a right in all of this, it's all just about finding matches. I will be honest though, your description made me double glad that I have found Sir and that I am no longer doing first meetings in coffee shops and such. Whew, it's good to be where one belongs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AGORANTE

This is the way to start off a wholesome and fulfilling BDSM relationship. Don't listen to those who want you to have a meeting where you negotiate what is allowed. That kills romance. Its better just to do it and talk about it later.

This is the Ask a Master forum and that's my answer.

(in reply to AGORANTE)

Profile

Post #: 187

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/14/2006 4:37:48 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

I will give you a third scenario

You met online and have been talking for months. You travel 3000 miles to visit and meet this Dominant in the flesh and confirm to yourselves all that has been exchanged in hours upon hours of communication phone, chat and emails. When you finally met him... you know without doubt that you are his. He as asks you what you want. and all you can do is respond with "I want to be yours". He then accepts you and then uses you appropriately to satisify his desires.

This is a highlight of the scenario between kyra and myself.... I will be using her for the rest of her life.

That is beautiful, and I commend you for finding someone so special to you, but the question is about "requirements". You obviously didn't "require" Kyra to have sex with you the first time you met. Would you have if things hadn't worked out the way they did?

I have never been "required" to have sex on the first meeting, though I have been "tested" sexually (no panties - that sort of thing). If it was ever a "requirement" that would have been our *only* meeting.

Kinky doesn't equal easy.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 188

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/14/2006 4:39:48 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

Tal,

So let me get this straight, is a shared cigar having sex?

Bull

Oh goodness! We are *not* going to go there, are we?

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to xBullx)

Profile

Post #: 189

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 2:24:48 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

That is beautiful, and I commend you for finding someone so special to you, but the question is about "requirements". You obviously didn't "require" Kyra to have sex with you the first time you met. Would you have if things hadn't worked out the way they did?

I have never been "required" to have sex on the first meeting, though I have been "tested" sexually (no panties - that sort of thing). If it was ever a "requirement" that would have been our *only* meeting.

Kinky doesn't equal easy.

We came together with hopes/desires and alot of fantasies *G*.... but there was no expectations or requirments that We would have sex or anything else for that matter. It worked very well for us.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to afeathr)

Profile

Post #: 190

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 2:29:39 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

Tal,

So let me get this straight, is a shared cigar having sex?

Bull

only after rigorous, extrenuous activity...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to xBullx)

Profile

Post #: 191

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 8:06:35 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

yeah that senario can happen. Where you meet and just click* and it feels ok to satisfy needs. Which is fine. As long as people can accept that just because one feels it click and has expectations, the other party may just be out for a good time.

I had a similar senario to yours a decade ago. I believe we lasted 2 months. Fortunately we had fun, it ended peacefully, and both of us walked away with feelings intact. If people have realistic expectations and want to take that chance, great. The problem is too many females think that if you want us, you want to keep us. And that just isn't true for many situations. Your lady and you found something that is rare.

Now, you can count me among the no sex on the first date tribe. I prefer a full bodied development rather than instant.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Profile

Post #: 192

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 11:23:31 PM

VelvetVise13

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/15/2006
Status: offline

I've only once had sex on the first date.

We met online in 1995 on AOL - I was bored waiting for a fax to come in and someone suggested I check out our area on AOL to kill time (at that point I worked for a major record label). One thing led to another, did a member search for "deep ellum" (nightclub section of Dallas), sent out a few generic emails asking what was going on in the music scene. One of the guys who responded I ended up hitting it off with.

7 months of IM and phone calls and he finally flew to NYC to meet me because he knew I'd be in the same country as he, for more than 72 hours. Paramount Hotel. I'm hanging out the window at 10:30pm like a damn groupie to get a look at him from 5 floors up.

When he entered the room I wouldn't turn to look at him - I'm a lousy actress and knew I wouldn't be able to mask my emotions if he was QuasiModo. I finally looked at him and my first words were, "Oh my God, you're gorgeous!"

10 minutes later I had pushed him back onto the bed and was going down on him like nobody's business. We had so much sex in the first 48 hours, I was walkinng like one of those cowboys that had been on a horse for several days -- very bow legged! To this day, he says that the best sex of his life happened on 9/5/95 (the day we finally met).

Anyway - 10 years later and we're still together. He's still my first and only "sex on the first date" boy. Sometimes, you just have to go with your vibes.

_____________________________

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming.. Wow! What a Ride!"

~velvet vise~

(in reply to Missokyst)

Profile

Post #: 193

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 11:35:08 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Nice story, VV.

(in reply to VelvetVise13)

Profile

Post #: 194

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/16/2006 11:54:19 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VelvetVise13

Anyway - 10 years later and we're still together. He's still my first and only "sex on the first date" boy. Sometimes, you just have to go with your vibes.

Nice!

(in reply to VelvetVise13)

Profile

Post #: 195

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 12/17/2006 4:00:30 PM

Bosn

Posts: 54
Joined: 9/19/2006
Status: offline

In answer to your question:
If sex was not discussed prior to meeting in either case, then I would not expect sex at the first meeting. Of course, I would not meet anyone having only spoken a "few times" online.
I don't meet anyone until we have spoken via webcam and telephone (at the same time) so that I know who it is I'm going to be meeting. Plus, the webcam will give a small insight into the other person's environment.
Bosn

(in reply to andeebaybee)

Profile

Post #: 196