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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 3:50:38 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RazorJAK
If the first meeting involves you being naked on your knees and waiting on him ... well ... that's a whole other story.

That's exactly what my first meeting was (see previous post) and I agree - it was a wonderful, whole other story!!

But yes, I understand this is not adviseable in many first time meetings.

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Post #: 141

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 7:20:15 PM

lilsnowywolf

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Joined: 10/11/2006
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In my opinion, I really don't think any of this has to do with "morals". The way I see it, it goes back to the old "get on your knees, slut" approach. If there isn't instant obedience, then they try to make you feel like you aren't a sub.
Just another opinion of mine.

(in reply to Aileen68)

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Post #: 142

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 7:54:00 PM

BuxomGoddess321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
So if you wait till the second date to have sex, and then you never hear from that person again, it's officially not considered a one-night stand? Seems like the same thing to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess321
I just dont like one night stands. The only way I found to totally avoid it is not having sex on the first date.

Don't be so small minded and try to cause arguments by taking things out of context. The OP was about first dates. I get to know the person, maybe I am slow but it takes more then one (or two) dates for me to do that. That meets My needs. I did not judge anyone else's decision not to do it my way. If you expect people to respect your decisions, you need to respect theirs with what they decide to do with their own body. There is not a wrong or right answer to this. It is a personal choice. Those who are secure in their own choices need not attack the choices and free will of others or try to make ridiculous argumentative out of context assumptions. If you cannot follow a thought beyond one sentance, or have a short attention span, perhaps do not be so quick to argue people's personal choices about who they fuck. This is a place to give opinions and everyone's should be respected.

Be blessed,
Goddess

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

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Post #: 143

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 9:19:32 PM

Firebirdseeking

Posts: 477
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Hi, I am new too. BUT I have gotten some good advice from some masters I respect: that we should run, not walk, from men who call themselves Doms and insist on being called Sir or start giving us orders when NO relationship has been established. Why should we do these thing for anyone we dont even know if we respect, just because he is a male? That's BS. And as far as demanding sex - no one DEMANDS sex except men who are used to getting their own way and dont care how we as women feel. A Dom friend of mine says you may be submissive but you are not a doormat. Hope that helps you!

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Post #: 144

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 9:50:00 PM

DesertRat

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Sex at the first meeting happens or it doesn't. It's up to the parties involved...by mutual consent, of course. Wonderful things can happen either way.

Demanding sex? That comes later.

Bob

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It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
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Post #: 145

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/28/2006 9:58:22 PM

Lordandmaster

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Oh relax. It's Saturday.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess321

If you cannot follow a thought beyond one sentance, or have a short attention span, perhaps do not be so quick to argue people's personal choices about who they fuck.

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Post #: 146

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/29/2006 7:54:28 PM

Bluebird

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From: Las Vegas
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I think the OP's question was MUST she sleep with a new dom on first meeting, not could she or should she. The general consensus seems to be that it should not be required/expected. Now, the question of whether, when she meets said man and they have incredible chemistry and she wants to drop trou right at the very moment - well, that is a different issue. If she is adult enough to be meeting someone to discuss servitude or kinky sex in general, then she is probably adult enough to make her own desicions in that regard.

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Post #: 147

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/29/2006 7:56:20 PM

Lordandmaster

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Well, as usual, the OP started a new thread, was very unclear about what she was asking, and then never stopped back in to see the answers to her question. That was eight pages ago. For my money, that means whatever the OP meant or didn't mean isn't worth jackshit.

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Post #: 148

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/29/2006 9:02:06 PM

Bluebird

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Love you too, snoogums :-)

OK, edited to say -

My point is, why are people haggling over whether one should or should not have sex on the first date? I would assume that as sexually-aware adults (as hopefully everyone on this board is), we each would have the ability to make that decision for ourselves. The question of a "dom" demanding sex and if that is a valid demand - THAT was the question. And really, I don't care who has sex on the first date or who masturbates to unconsciousness - if you want to start a post about that, feel free and then I can skip that topic altogether.

< Message edited by Bluebird -- 10/29/2006 9:41:52 PM >

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Post #: 149

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/30/2006 8:28:52 AM

Lordandmaster

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Well, yes, I agree with you, but doms don't "demand" anything that subs don't acquiesce to. If a dom "demands" sex and a sub isn't ready, the sub says no and goes home. That's that. Otherwise we're talking about rape on a first meeting, not sex on a first meeting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bluebird

The question of a "dom" demanding sex and if that is a valid demand - THAT was the question.

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Post #: 150

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/30/2006 9:25:56 AM

LadyHugs

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Dear andeebaybee, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eye, I see the latest trends on D/s and M/s hinge on sex.
It is rather disturbing to just focus on sexual obedience, in this day and age with all the STD's and transmissions easier as well as other health issues related to 'sex.'

Online, the 'pool' of willing submissives/slaves is great. So, I would wish to see that everybody had a STD test and not have any intercourse until the results prove that nobody had any 'surprises.'
That said; it doesn't quiet my mind's eye though. As people part ways for many reasons, such as going home,work, travel and such; they could have a clear test that day, lay down with another stranger and get zapped with some sexual nasty surprise.

In my mind's eye--a person, especially a slave/submissive needs to wrestle within themselves, as to how much value you have on your own. If you're an easy lay--well, you'll be treated poorly. Its way to easy to get sex and people use it as 'power and or currency.'

In my personal side, I refuse to have sex with anybody unless I have a committed relationship, to where it is more solid than 'online.' Anybody can pay a visit and change their screenname the next time online, if they don't have quite a few online screennames already.

If you are worth waiting for--then make it a 'no sex' limit, until they prove their worth by waiting.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to andeebaybee)

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Post #: 151

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/30/2006 9:27:13 AM

Aileen68

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Fast reply.
It seems as if a dom chooses to meet at a Starbucks then he's looking to get to know you one way. If he tells you to meet at the Holiday Inn, then it's another agenda. If you walk into the room at the Holiday Inn expecting coffee then I'd have to question how one got so far in life on the limited brain cells present..

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Post #: 152

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/31/2006 8:16:52 AM

desoutter

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Meeting a woman online is a unique experience for me... that being said it still comes down to one thing....

Just because I live this lifestyle doesnt mean I can have sex with someone I do not know... or care about....

Also, this lifestyle, for me does NOT have a lot to do with sex.... (some... but not all - lol)

so... for me... its a relationship.... and a relationship is NOT formed in a few IM's or emails - a relationship developes... over time... face to face... wether it takes a day or a year... it depends on the person...

True story... I met a woman at a club in Syracuse NY... spent the night with her and had a blast... We just connected - somehow... someway... and this was 11 years ago and we are still friends... I never expected it... never saw it coming... but it happened...

I have also had the wonderful experience of meeting a woman who was very interested in our lifestyle... with no experience... we were together for five amazing years. Never expected it.... loved every minute of it... still friends...

You just never know.... point being - the 'expectation' of sex is just a ridiculous assumption....
desoutter

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Post #: 153

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/31/2006 10:35:56 AM

fantasy69maker

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NO In both senerios as constructed the answer is No
But I have to wonder about somthing You say that sex hasnt been discussed. Why are you meeting someone when your relationship is so shallow?I think you have work to do in both cases.
In the second case I am particulary concerned that someone could claim to be your Dom when he dosent even know your mind well enough to know your feelings on the question..
Now is sex on a first meeting a posability? Sure but you know what? Its not required on the 1000th meeting. Many D/s relationships dont involve sex at all. Its about what you need .Ive purposly withheld a first meeting so that sex on the first meeting would be appropriate because that was somthing she needed.

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Post #: 154

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/31/2006 4:22:36 PM

Kaledorus

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In the first scenario surely it would depend on you, whether or not you desired to engage in acts of such a nature.

In the second instance you might be wise to discuss it beforehand however in the "what if" scenario you posed a subbie might well expect the Master to wish to use her in such a manner.

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Post #: 155

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/31/2006 4:46:51 PM

TrueCalling

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Nothing is a 'must' You owe this man nothing, regardless of what he expects (Generalizing here) The only person responsible for the choices and decisions you make is you. If a man would demand/make a requirement of this sort, i would start examining his motives.

cc

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Post #: 156

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/31/2006 5:20:03 PM

lilmado

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Guess it's all up to you...If you don't want to have sex on the 1st meeting, you should not. If you don't want to, but your dom expects.....you'd better talk to him.
In my case, after a couple months talking, I couldn't wait being totally under him contorol by all mean and I was pretty sure that was him...so I was totally ready and couldn't help but giving up the first date rule or anything ppl call...

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Post #: 157

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:30:32 PM

bigboobswebcam

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When I was a newbie which was a few years back, I had a Dom contact me and say I was just what he was looking for. I was looking to belong to someone and had found the one that I thought I wanted. When he commanded I did it. But dont forget I was completely new too all of this and had not yet learned much concerning real life. We met at a hotel he had the key already and he Dommed me a bit we played and had sex. Best sex of my life well up until that time. We talked a bit after that and he moved on but still expected me to be there whenever he wanted and do whatever he said. I wound up pregnant just after the very first meeting. Which before we had done anything I had warned him about but my ex Master said he couldnt get anyone pregnant. I never caught anything and I have a beautiful child that he hasnt acknolaged since the beginning. Just be careful. Its not all fun and games and serious consequences can happen. Thank God we were both clean but it could have been different. So I say no, dont sleep with someone on the first date no matter how much you think you know them.

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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:34:25 PM

Kalira

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quote:

I wound up pregnant just after the very first meeting. Which before we had done anything I had warned him about but my ex Master said he couldnt get anyone pregnant

Hmmm, how come YOU weren't using something? Doesn't matter what HE told you, you should have been adult enough to use protection in some manner.

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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:46:51 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not respect men that sleep with a woman that really likes them just to turn around and hurt her feelings by not returning phone calls and brushing her off.

Ya know, I have been accused of being a man who intentionally hurts women's feelings because I dont want to pick out curtains and bump fuzzies after meeting her for coffee.

It does work both ways.

Sinergy

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