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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:54:05 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I can't respect any guy who won't help pick out curtains.    

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 161
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:55:24 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Or bump fuzzies.

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 162
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 6:55:30 PM   
bigboobswebcam


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		 Quote: Hmmm, how come YOU weren't using something? Doesn't matter what HE told you, you should have been adult enough to use protection in some manner.

Trust me with me it doesnt help. I got pregnant on the pill, condoms, iud, pull out, and someone who couldnt get me pregnant. and No i dont have that many kids lol. I have 2 children but I used these things together. But your right I was young 19 in fact and stupid. I didnt realize things that I should have. And I should have known better. I was going through a lot and finding myself and what I was. I thank God that I have finally found myself and got some brains. I realize all my past mistakes and I dont make them anymore.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 163
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 7:08:27 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Or bump fuzzies.


While I have no particular problem picking out curtains (I have been told I have excellent taste) or bumping fuzzies (I have been told I taste excellent) the fact that
I may not want to do either after having coffee with somebody does not imply
that I met them for coffee in order to hurt their feelings.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 164
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 7:34:56 PM   
psykocloud32


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		I never have sex on a first date, never, and then I don't always have sex while scening with someone either. I can have fun with or without it. I always make that very clear to everyone I speak with

In my experience, if I give in on a first date, thats all I see of them. So I'm not soo (easy) any more

psyko

< Message edited by psykocloud32 -- 11/3/2006 7:37:41 PM >

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 165
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 8:26:58 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		That has been my experience a well.

(in reply to psykocloud32)
Profile   Post #: 166
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/3/2006 8:50:13 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not respect men that sleep with a woman that really likes them just to turn around and hurt her feelings by not returning phone calls and brushing her off.



Ya know, I have been accused of being a man who intentionally hurts women's feelings because I dont want to pick out curtains and bump fuzzies after meeting her for coffee.

It does work both ways.

Sinergy

Thats why coffee could become a hard limit....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 167
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/5/2006 6:46:11 AM   
Betacoywolf


Posts: 13
Joined: 10/29/2006
Status: offline 		RED FLAG!!!! any conditions on meeting in that way is a major flag telling me he is not when he wants me to believe he is......ever.......even second or third meetings should not have such conditions....

(in reply to lilsnowywolf)
Profile   Post #: 168
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/5/2006 5:32:39 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Fast reply.
It seems as if a dom chooses to meet at a Starbucks then he's looking to get to know you one way.  If he tells you to meet at the Holiday Inn, then it's another agenda.  If you walk into the room at the Holiday Inn expecting coffee then I'd have to question how one got so far in life on the limited brain cells present..


What agenda should I have expected at IHOP?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 169
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/5/2006 5:35:23 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Fast reply.
It seems as if a dom chooses to meet at a Starbucks then he's looking to get to know you one way.  If he tells you to meet at the Holiday Inn, then it's another agenda.  If you walk into the room at the Holiday Inn expecting coffee then I'd have to question how one got so far in life on the limited brain cells present..


What agenda should I have expected at IHOP?

Sinergy

Syrup and whipped cream.

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/5/2006 5:37:03 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Fast reply.
It seems as if a dom chooses to meet at a Starbucks then he's looking to get to know you one way.  If he tells you to meet at the Holiday Inn, then it's another agenda.  If you walk into the room at the Holiday Inn expecting coffee then I'd have to question how one got so far in life on the limited brain cells present..


What agenda should I have expected at IHOP?

Sinergy


Two eggs over medium and then an afternoon of hiking, outdoor oral sex, and then spankings at your hotel room... but that is just what I would expect (WEG)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/5/2006 5:40:21 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

outdoor oral sex



"I did not have sex with that woman."   William Jefferson Clinton


_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/15/2006 6:02:13 PM   
SirAnthony


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/22/2004
Status: offline 		Instant obediance?  Should that have, in some way, been established during the courtship?
If not, hell No... Its a first meet to see what there is there.

A test drive for both parties.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 173
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/19/2006 9:32:01 PM   
Lenis


Posts: 28
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		I view it like a first date in a way.  I do NOT expect it to happen, and I have met only two people where it happened the first day we met.  Both times I felt a certain draw to them, and both times I had an orgasm that was fullfilling to me on so many levels.  

-Brian

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 174
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:22:29 AM   
WillowRain


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		I would say no. Sex on a first meeting seems very inapropriate to me, but all people are differant. What might be the right choice for me, might be exactly the wrong choice for you. Good luck!

(in reply to andeebaybee)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 8:48:49 AM   
cjklyn


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2004
Status: offline 		This is obviously an individual choice between you and your master. However, I would be wary of any master who insisted on sex on a first meeting. My own approach is to meet first socially, in public. It's important I think on first meeting to start to build trust in each other. I usually don't meet until getting to know someone (and alloweing them to get to know me) online via email/chat first. Then we might meet a number of times. Even then, I leave it to my potential sub to decide if and when she wishes to submit..which might, or might not lead to sex ( do remember, submission is about much more than just sex, and I'd also be wary of and dom who talks sex alone). Only once have I had sex on first meeting. That was after a long email exchange, and was not planned, but just seemed right for both of us..that relationship lasted for years...and was very close for all that time. It wasn't planned or intentional, just happened. So to answer your question more directly, it's for you to decide. It's a very personal choice

(in reply to WillowRain)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 4:52:50 PM   
desoutter


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline 		I think I anwered this one already but I just got all spooled up again reading your post so... again...

no no no no nononono and no

Never compromise
Never ignore your gut
Never allow yourself to be persuaded into ignoring the above...

desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to andeebaybee)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 5:24:01 PM   
AGORANTE


Posts: 30
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I'll tell you how I used to do it. I would contact the woman online and after a couple notes we would talk on the phone. If she seemed nice I would have her come to my house.
 
I would meet her at the front door and kiss her. Then I would put her in cuffs. I would remove her blouse and put on nipple clamps. If she said anything I would put on a ball gag. I kept equipment by the door, so I would strip her down and put on a collar with a leash. Usually I would at this point have her walk on all fours down the hall to the bedroom. I would whack her naked butt with a long handled crop and make her bark (bow-wow).
 
When I got her to the bedroom I would put her on a spreader bar and hang her from the ceiling. I would then flog her. Later I would butt plug her, fist her and cane her. I would beat her as I fucked her from behind.
 
I did this standard procedure many times and I always had good results. Afterwards (about two hours or so) I would take get her a robe and we would adjourn to the dining room for Champagne and brie. Girls that you meet on this site love to be treated this way. They are happy, smiling and radiant. They kiss your hand. They kiss your feet.

Conversation is easier and everyone is more relaxed when the girl has had a dozen orgasms or so and has floated off into sub-space a couple times. Subbies are deeply appreciative. This is their dream.

This is the way to start off a wholesome and fulfilling BDSM relationship. Don't listen to those who want you to have a meeting where you negotiate what is allowed. That kills romance. Its better just to do it and talk about it later.  

This is the Ask a Master forum and that's my answer.

(in reply to desoutter)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 5:40:49 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

"I did not have sex with that woman." William Jefferson Clinton


"I didn't have sex with that woman...i wanted to." Robin Williams from Man Of The Year


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 11/30/2006 7:10:49 PM   
DomFey


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Re: condoms, and more....

There is no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex.  Using a condom can considerably reduce, but will never eliminate risk. 

Over the years, I have often had sex on the first date and regretted it later because the guy turned out to be a pig.  Nonetheless, I will continue to have sex on the first date IF I want it and my partner is willing.  What's important is that I decide.  I base my decision on possible physical and emotional risk to both me and my partner, since I am a Domme and feel responsible for the ultimate action. 

When I arrange to meet a partner, I make it known there is no guaranteed disrobing, beating, or beyond.  If we really click, though, I've found it very easy to renegotiate quickly, successfully, and, I would even say, romantically.  :-)

The bottom line is I am willing to undertake the risk inherent in having sex upon first meeting, when I obviously know less about my partner than if we had a longer relationship.  I put my trust in myself, and own that if I judge incorrectly, I have only myself to blame.   

Best,

DomFey

(in reply to Kalira)
Profile   Post #: 180
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