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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:09:10 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
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Thea's comment made the most sense to me. Sometimes sex on a first meeting is a terrible idea, and sometimes it's exactly what's supposed to happen.

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)

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Post #: 21

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:25:27 PM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
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First senario

The guy is an idiot. In my eyes, since I am not his submissive, for him to just go ahead and demand that of me, he is no Dom or Master I would want to be with.

Second senario

Since I did the online/phone/long distance relationship thing when I was new and gullible, I have to be honest and say I made that mistake. Well...kind of....long story. Thankfully it didn't quite go as planned...errr...I mean as he planned. Even though I am highly allergic to raw onions, I have newfound respect for them, and thank you God for giving me that allergy...lol. I learn from my mistakes. I firmly believe that someone who seriously wants you as his sub or slave would spend time getting to know you in person before even attempting to scene or have sex with you....and vice versa. If all he wants is a booty call and casual play, he will probably try to get that from you as soon as he can. Then he usually moves on to the next person eventually. Sex should never be a requirement for a first meet. I value my health too much to take chances with someone I hardly know. Sometimes you don't really know that person you have been chatting with for months.

(in reply to SweetSarijane)

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Post #: 22

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:43:23 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Actually we had expected to just meet, share a meal and say goodbye. Instead we spent the day together and it culminated in us groping each other in the car like a couple of teenagers.

Not expected, not demanded but we clicked on all sorts of levels including the physical and if we had more time, we probably would have.

However if he had said to meet him at some motel and expect to play without knowing if there would be any chemistry, then I would have said no way.

(in reply to Lashra)

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Post #: 23

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:44:06 PM

Bluebird

Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: andeebaybee

... you've met online and talked a few times and have decided to meet for coffee--is sex expected? ...

I have to think you would not be welcomed back at at your local Starbucks if you jump on the table *just like that*

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Post #: 24

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:44:47 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
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do people really jump into bed with eachother on a first meeting these days? i've never been one to do such things

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Post #: 25

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:46:18 PM

Aileen68

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Well it appears that I'm going to be in the minority here when I say that I find it to be highly erotic and intense to play and have sex on the first meet. By the time I meet someone I'm pretty damn sure that I'm compatible with them. But that's just me.

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Post #: 26

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 8:48:41 PM

thegirlincharge

Posts: 68
Joined: 4/1/2006
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If he is for real and not just looking for a kinky lay he will not expect you to have sex with him the first time you meet. Either scenario makes you still strangers in person.

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Post #: 27

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/24/2006 9:45:08 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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I just look them deep in the eye, pause for a moment and point at the floor in front of me.

Either she feels it or she doesn't.

Most do.

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Post #: 28

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 5:13:02 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
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Expected? Maybe, but certainly not required...

Then again, sometimes lightning does strike, and I have had some lovely romances that started that way.

As in any human interaction, no plan survives contact with the enemy<g>.

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Post #: 29

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 6:13:23 AM

michaelGA2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Well it appears that I'm going to be in the minority here when I say that I find it to be highly erotic and intense to play and have sex on the first meet. By the time I meet someone I'm pretty damn sure that I'm compatible with them. But that's just me.

that sounds all well and good Aileen68...as long as the monkey stays at home...LOL

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Post #: 30

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 9:53:16 AM

SexyFemDom

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/24/2006
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you're not a mindless puppet, are you?

it's not just ALL about Him is it?

He takes whatever he wants and you give? yeah right, I don't think so.

Just becuz this is bdsm that doesnt mean you shouldnt be who you are and follow your own morals, values AND PRECAUTIONS. For pete's sake, if you acted to the contrary, you'll soon has a long line of guys at your door waiting for you to spread your mouth and legs for them becuz they are, afterall, a "Dom".

Please.

Wake up girl, open your eyes and be careful.

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Post #: 31

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 12:28:06 PM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
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It depends on the first meet. My last sub, I travelled halfway across texas and was going to spend two nights with her at her request so sex was pretty inevitable. Same looks to happen with my new slave who will be travelling across half the states to spend a month with me to see if it will work out long term. I never play on the first night with my sub, I tell them this ahead of time so they don't get any expectations or worries.

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Post #: 32

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 12:55:41 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
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Remember when the burning question was "Should one kiss on the first date"?

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Post #: 33

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 1:35:16 PM

Arpig

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I would personally say
Scenario 1: if the urge is mutual, then go for it...fuck your brains out. Otherwise, its rather a moot point.
Scenario 2: YES, be ready to get it or get gone.

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Post #: 34

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 2:43:56 PM

littleone35

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I never have sex on the first meeting kissing sure maybe a little light play sure but sex no, it is just not something i am comfortable with. It is one of my unwritten rules. I like to meet someone in person a few times and know we are on the same page before we take that big step.

Matt's littleone

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Post #: 35

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 3:49:17 PM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
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Sex will happen, when it's supposed to happen for you. There is no law that says when you must have sex to be a "true" sub/slave. I know that a lot of times it is expected, but if you aren't ready, there is no reason you shold feel like you have to. It doesn't matter how long the relationship has been going on, or in what form, you shouldn't be expected to do anything you aren't ready for.

Master and I did have sex when we first met, but for us it was right. That doesn't mean it had to happen, or that he would have expected it if I weren't ready. I have had some try to tell me that vanilla sex was expected, because you have to test drive before you buy (like I am for sell anyway), I was then called a fake for not meeting him.

Just stick to your guns, morals, whatever, and don't have sex with anyone until YOU are ready.

Akasha

PS. Just go with it also, no expectations, but you might be surprised that the feeling is there. I have had sex with all of the Doms I have met in person,(not in the hundreds or anything..lol) but I always felt a strong connection before we met anyway. I enjoy sex, and if the chemistry is there, I like to enjoy it. It was not required though, but something that I wanted. That is the difference between them, and the guy that wanted a "test-drive"...the required action, and the natural sexual urge action.

< Message edited by SlaveAkasha -- 10/25/2006 3:57:06 PM >

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Post #: 36

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 3:58:46 PM

SlaveAkasha

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From: Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I just look them deep in the eye, pause for a moment and point at the floor in front of me.

Either she feels it or she doesn't.

Most do.

*swoon* Yep, that would do it for most..

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Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
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Post #: 37

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 4:00:29 PM

cham1313

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Joined: 4/21/2006
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from a old DOM. NO,sex on first date.The only thing to change that if you have talk about it and fill you would like it.
But most times it should be at least one(1)month.

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Post #: 38

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/25/2006 11:44:14 PM

susie

Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
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When I was first searching I met with a few prospective Doms. Some were meetings for coffee or a drink and one that I remember was a 10 minute chat in the car outside his office. There was never any idea that there would be more than just dinner and a chat. One Dom that I talked to pushed hard for play on the first date, not something that he would normally do and he could never explain why he insisted on it with us. For some reason I agreed. I too have no idea what it was about our chats that made me agree to such a dangerous thing. Not only did we play but we also had sex.

Looking back it was a crazy thing to do but I was new and had a lot to learn. Thankfully my instincts about him were spot on. We have been together for just over 2 years, have bought a house and run a successful business together.

So I would say there are no rules at all as long as you trust your instincts and remember to be safe at all times.

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Post #: 39

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 12:48:35 AM

Lordandmaster

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Actually no; it's written in the Great Book of All Things that the correct waiting period depends on the season. In the summer, when the blood is quick, it is permissible to wait only thirty (30) days, but in the winter, when the humors flow more slowly, a thirty-two (32) day interval is mandated.