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RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 6:56:24 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		The only woman who has ever wore MY collar, I didn't just have sex with on our first meeting, I ravaged the hell out of her.

What moralizing bullshit!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 9:17:29 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Sorry we are not special in any way what so ever! Some of us, including me, have had sex on first meetings and/or dates, some have never and unfortunately some judge based on those type of facts. What I do think that amount of phone calls, number of dates and any thing of some sort of set standards is not a realisitc way to expects humans to behave.

Now personally I have no idea what the difference is to having sex with someone that you have met the first time after hours and hours of phone calls and messages and it feels right for both of you over having sex with someone because you have had a few phone calls and a certain number of physical dates, except for the fact that we all view sex in our own way.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 9:20:17 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		So if you wait till the second date to have sex, and then you never hear from that person again, it's officially not considered a one-night stand?  Seems like the same thing to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess321

I just dont like one night stands.  The only way I found to totally avoid it is not having sex on the first date.

(in reply to BuxomGoddess321)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 9:34:45 AM   
MistressTruth


Posts: 117
Joined: 2/22/2006
Status: offline 		It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.

I have a lot of morals, one of them just isn't "I don't have sex on the first date". If I get to know someone online before I meet them and they travel on average of two hours or so to see me, chances are we'll probably end up getting it on.

I have sexual needs, and don't see some societal standards (not laws, which are different than standards) as needing to dictate how and when I take care of my sexual needs. For me, BDSM is about getting my needs met and the way I want them met. It makes sense to me that in this setting I stick to that, and sometimes it comes down to sex on the first meeting.

It doesn't mean I'm easy, though it can mean that the other person is easy. ;-) I have a ton of standards that go more along the lines of: Is needle play a hard limit for them...??? Stuff like that.








(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 9:45:22 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I'm of the view that if it feels right, do it.

Sexual compatibility is VERY important to me in a partner. Sex is a big part of my life, so why shouldn't I find out as soon as possible if someone is going to be sexually compatible with me? Waiting a proscribed amount of time before having sex with someone isnt going to change their minds about having a relationship with you. You can't "trick" a man into wanting a relationship if all he wants is sex, no matter how long you wait.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to MistressTruth)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 9:45:55 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		there's too much of a risk of STDs in this day and age, that's why i won't do it...not without exchanging medical proof.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to MistressTruth)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:11:22 AM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		It's not about morals to me at all.  With some of the things I have done recently, I can't get up on any soapbox...lol.  And it has been a hell of a lot of fun as well....lol.  I just won't do it because I don't really know where or who the other person has been with...and who knows if he/she is even telling the truth.  Some people are good at fabrication.  And medical documentation is only as good as the day it was printed.  Let's say someone does have testing done and the documentation to prove it.  What if it was a month or 3 months ago?  Also don't forget incubation periods.  There is always safer sex, but sometimes that can be problematic as well. 

Opps, speaking of which...I need to run.  Have a play date with someone I know very well, so there go those pesky morals again...right out the window. 


< Message edited by texancutie -- 10/27/2006 10:14:24 AM >

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:13:15 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Cutie - I was also going to remind people that testing is:  a picture of that person's health on that very day.  Unless they are going to celibate for approxmiately 6 months, and then get retested, you got nothing.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to texancutie)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:17:55 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Basically I agree with texancutie and KatyLied, but it's not exactly true that test results show NOTHING; you have a statement that the person showed no specific antibodies X number of months ago.  It's very inconclusive information, yes, but it's not nothing.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 10/27/2006 10:19:51 AM >

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:38:25 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Alright word mincer!  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:49:02 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		LaM anal about the english language???!!
Noooooo. 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 10:53:19 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

The only woman who has ever wore MY collar, I didn't just have sex with on our first meeting, I ravaged the hell out of her.

What moralizing bullshit!


Since I'm so immoral then I guess I'm allowed to comment that this was really hot.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 11:17:55 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to bash anyone else. I'm just telling what I've heard men say. It is possible to have male friends who aren't friends with benefits. Many men have told me they would never consider a relationship with a woman who had sex on the first date. I've also been told in a forum that if a woman doesn't put out by the second date, she's leading the man on. Does anyone see the catch 22 here?

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 11:21:12 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to bash anyone else. I'm just telling what I've heard men say. It is possible to have male friends who aren't friends with benefits. Many men have told me they would never consider a relationship with a woman who had sex on the first date. I've also been told in a forum that if a woman doesn't put out by the second date, she's leading the man on. Does anyone see the catch 22 here?

No I just see abunch of people confused about sexuality and trying to turn it into some benchmarking system so they don't have to put work into it.

If someone doesn't want to have a relationship with someone else if they have sexon a first date, then they obviously just aren't right for me.

People who base what they do sexually on what others will think or out of fear of judgement are already losing out.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 11:26:44 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		The problem that I have with what you said was that you implied that anyone who sleeps with someone on the first meeting is immoral.  I can count on one hand the amount of people I've slept with in my life.  Does it make me immoral that some were on the first date?  95% of the popluation thinks that most of what we do here within the bdsm lifestyle is immoral.  Why judge on this aspect?  Why judge at all? 
What works for me doesn't have to , and more importantly, shouldn't work for you.  The people that I've met and slept with haven't been random.  I've had intense mental connections with them.  The physical was a natural second.


(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 11:59:23 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think you're immoral at all nor do I necessarily think anyone who has sex when the first meet someone is. I'm simply repeating what I have been told by men. The only thing I'm being judgemental about is the catch 22.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:00:50 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		It's a beautiful language, you know.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

LaM anal about the english language???!!
Noooooo. 

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:01:38 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline
quote:

It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.


So where you lying when you wrote this post or were you lying in your last post because both these statements can't be true.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:02:06 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		fast reply
 
That was where I think most of our problems were with what you said,  You implied that anyone that had sex on a first date, didn't have morals.  I to am very careful about whom I have sex with.  I didn't have sex for the first time till I was 27, because I had it pounded into me all of my life how wrong that was.  I am now in charge of my sexuality, and I am enjoying it.  I know that I won't have sex with someone that I don't feel an attraction to, and more-so now, a huge connection.  This fact does not make me immoral, it makes me a woman that enjoys her body, and enjoys how to get pleasure.
 
I feel that if I can come through all of my sexual abuse, rape, etc..and still have a healthy outlook on sex, I am a very lucky person.  I know that I am a good person, and I know that I always try to do the right thing.  I just happen to believe that having sex is not wrong, you can dictate for yourself what is wrong, and what isn't.  But, please quit trying to do it for EVERYONE else.
 
Akasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:02:42 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		You seem like a strong woman with her own views.  It shouldn't matter what "men" have told you.  Form your own opinions.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 100
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