RE: Sex on First Meeting..

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Sex on First Meeting..

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Sex on First Meeting..

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 4:41:34 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

surprising enough, some men actually respect women enough not to expect sex on the first meeting...not to mention those who prefer to deny them sex on the first meeting...maybe that's just me though.

Someone can be very respected even after she "puts out" on the first meet. Respect is based on much more than actions at times. It may be a first physical meet, but you may have talked to that person for quite a while before that. Or you may have just met that person an hour ago....thing is, if it's the right thing at the right time for two consenting adults then there's nothing wrong with it.

i'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it, i'm just saying that i would never have sex on the first meeting, even if things click...not my style.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Aileen68)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 4:44:18 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

i'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it, i'm just saying that i would never have sex on the first meeting, even if things click...not my style.

You should try it sometime. Might put a smile on your face. *wink*
Sometimes people take life too seriously.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 4:46:50 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

well, without really knowing a person or them me and not knowing beyond a doubt that either of us would be D/D free...then there's just too much of a risk, especially in this day and age.

i prefer knowing someone better in any case, not much into the mystery person routine.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Aileen68)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 4:51:23 PM

JerseyKrissi72

Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline

I am not for sex on the first meeting but sometimes when that connection is there, it happens. I am not one to judge but each situation is different so...

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 5:34:00 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

If there is mutual respect between the two consenting adult before the first meeting then why would having sex on a first meeting diminish that respect ? In my eyes a Master would never ask something of a sub or slave that would lessen his opinion of her, that is just playing games and setting the sub/slave up to fail. As long as everyone is open and honest about what they want out of the relationship then i see no problems. The problems come when the people involved are not open and Honest then the games begin .... such as " Your not submissive enough if you don't have sex on the first meeting" Making the sub/slave feeling like they don't have a choice. That cheapen the experience and gives everyone the wrong impression.

edited to add
It always amazes me that as a community of WIITWD that we are so judgmental of each other and ready to jump to conclusions because we don't approve or wouldn't have done it that way. Live and let live ... It makes for a happier life.

< Message edited by LaMspeach -- 10/26/2006 5:38:20 PM >

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 7:38:02 PM

SweetEscravo

Posts: 193
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

I would never have sex with someone when I first met them offline, or even play with them right away. I really feel that the internet is limited, and while it may allow us to meet many people quickly, you still need to go through the real-life motions- things like dates, phone calls, and first kisses. I don't see the point of rushing into sex, and if a dom told me I needed to (or else I wasn't submissive enough ! ) , I'd have to tell him to not let the door hit him on the way out.

(in reply to Lashra)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 7:57:24 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaMspeach

If there is mutual respect between the two consenting adult before the first meeting then why would having sex on a first meeting diminish that respect ? In my eyes a Master would never ask something of a sub or slave that would lessen his opinion of her, that is just playing games and setting the sub/slave up to fail. As long as everyone is open and honest about what they want out of the relationship then i see no problems. The problems come when the people involved are not open and Honest then the games begin .... such as " Your not submissive enough if you don't have sex on the first meeting" Making the sub/slave feeling like they don't have a choice. That cheapen the experience and gives everyone the wrong impression.

edited to add
It always amazes me that as a community of WIITWD that we are so judgmental of each other and ready to jump to conclusions because we don't approve or wouldn't have done it that way. Live and let live ... It makes for a happier life.

Well said. Thank you.

(in reply to LaMspeach)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 10:04:25 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetEscravo

I would never have sex with someone when I first met them offline, or even play with them right away. I really feel that the internet is limited, and while it may allow us to meet many people quickly, you still need to go through the real-life motions- things like dates, phone calls, and first kisses. I don't see the point of rushing into sex, and if a dom told me I needed to (or else I wasn't submissive enough ! ) , I'd have to tell him to not let the door hit him on the way out.

It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.

(in reply to SweetEscravo)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 10:21:06 PM

emdoub

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.

What's a moral?

Oh, that's right - sex is immoral, and we were all taught that it was icky, demeaning, horrid, and should be saved for our one true love. After all, if people go around taking sexual pleasure whenever it pleases all participants, well, civilization will simply crumble, won't it?

If sex is immoral, this depravity of BDSM must be simply horrid - who but amoral wretches would engage in such immoral acts?

Um, well - I would. I would have hoped that anyone with an interest in this site would have outgrown sneering at any other person who has decided to follow their desires, rather than allowing society to dictate what they *should* do, regardless of it being nobody else's decision to make. Sex, as a consensual act undertaken for pleasure, harms no one who has not given consent. Anyone condemning this as "immoral" tacitly agrees to be judged by the same moral code they're using to make judgement.

OTOH, if you 'moral' types get to sneer, us 'decide for ourselves' types get to snicker at the folks with hypocritical values.

Midnight Writer

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 10:29:23 PM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

*snicker*

I am an adult, if I want to have sex, I do, if I don't, I don't. I don't think everyone is looking for a long-term relationship. Believe it or not, there are those of us that have sex because we enjoy it, not because we are trying to get someone to spend the next 50 yrs with us. I have both had sex, and not had sex on first meetings, I go with what feels right, and the moment. Sometimes you just have to enjoy the moment, live in it, and take pleasure for every second you can get.

Akasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to emdoub)

Profile

Post #: 70

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 10:45:29 PM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

Wow...did this disintegrate to morals and judgementalism? Hey, if people want to have sex on a first meet let them. I would rather wait. But my decision to wait is based on being smart, not my morality. You sometimes think you know the other person and may find out later you don't. I would rather err on the side of safety. I think there is another thread somewhere on CM on stds and transmission rates. Some are rising much faster than HIV. If people think they really know someone first meet as well as if they had waited a while...let them go at it. It's not my life...it is theirs.

It all depends on what you are looking for too. Nothing wrong with casual play if that is what one is into. But if someone is lying about wanting long term and sticks it to you and disappears...well...it will be up to you to pick up the pieces alone. If honesty is there and both want this...not a problem. Seems all pretty simple to me.

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Profile

Post #: 71

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 10:56:14 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.

You're also very good at showing your true inner class with just eleven words.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Profile

Post #: 72

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/26/2006 11:33:35 PM

BuxomGoddess321

Posts: 20
Status: offline

I just dont like one night stands. The only way I found to totally avoid it is not having sex on the first date. I dont regret the times I did it, it is how I came to this conclusion. At this point in my life, I would rather have sex with f buddies who love me while I am waiting to find someone special then a string of serial daters who end up leaving my life forever. Its not a moral dilema. Its not for me to judge what is wrong or right for anyone else to do. Some people are willing to take more risks to experience more out of life first hand before drawing conclusions. Everyone's at a different place and deserves to go thru the experiences they want to and need to so they can find what makes them happy. Don't hate, celebrate.

(in reply to texancutie)

Profile

Post #: 73

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:16:29 AM

subjected2006

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

Morals ssshhmorals..
I was celibate 11 years because I felt commitment
in a relationship with a vanilla,and I never ever cheated
on him....(the relationship lasted 23 years...we were not married)
Yes, the biggest hottest (longest ) relationships I've had were fast
out of the gate.
There is something so hot..
so magical..
so animalistic about meeting a man and going with the "gut to rut"....
You should not preach morals to anyone , here or else where.
We all have our limits.
We are entitled to them.( if Master says so of course)
You live within yours..
I'll live within mine.
I think/feel that if all systems say go..(safe sex..safe words,chemistry..)
then you should go with it.
If you are savvy enough you will know when "too soon" is.
The morning after thing can be a bitch unless you really know yourself well,
thats the real secret kiddies..not whether you know the man real well...
I know there are Doms who pretty much dont want to scene the first time
they meet a sub..
I think this is a good idea myself because as Master you need to maintain
control,set some perameters,,and I'm sure you need to check yourself a bit
to be sure you dont lose your head (cough)..sort of like the rule about waiting
three days on a new horse.
But..there is something so erotic about that first time..
I have started three long relationships in that manner.
Each lasted years..
But that was back when I was vanilla and in total charge.
Now..it's different.
I truthfully would bow out if there was no chemistry,and I would do it with a
politicaly correct excuse.
But you know what?
I abhor politicaly correct.
Just sayin'.

< Message edited by subjected2006 -- 10/27/2006 12:22:02 AM >

_____________________________

a rose is a rose..

(in reply to BuxomGoddess321)

Profile

Post #: 74

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:22:22 AM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

Lovely fantasies are so great. :) No stds, no worries, no problems whatsoever. Too bad we can't go back to the 60s or early 70s before all the nasty stuff started again. I think it would be great! :)

(in reply to subjected2006)

Profile

Post #: 75

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 12:45:21 AM

subjected2006

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline

That would be starting in the 70's for me and we had plenty to worry about back then.
I remember feeling "bad" about loving anal sex.
Did not stop me.
I think today is much safer.
If you are active sexually its a very sinple matter to be tested for std's,and you can carry the test results with you.
There is also a visual inspection that is pretty accurate.
Fantasy?
Well..passion blurs some lines , thats for sure.
But that's why it feels so good.
Don't you agree?

_____________________________

a rose is a rose..

(in reply to texancutie)

Profile

Post #: 76

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 2:54:24 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
It's good to know I'm not the only one with morals.

now that's a hell of a way to make friends.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Profile

Post #: 77

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 5:45:43 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Hi Quivver

- quick reply -

I am dismayed at the judgements going on here. Not everyone is stunted by living their life as if they are in junior high school. I don't care if people have sex the first time they meet - guess what - it's their decision, they are adults, they are free to choose their path. Don't be mad at the world because you've made bad choices and guys won't call you after having sex with you (yes, that's how it sounds to me).

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Quivver)

Profile

Post #: 78

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 5:52:21 AM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Hi Quivver

- quick reply -

I am dismayed at the judgements going on here. Not everyone is stunted by living their life as if they are in junior high school. I don't care if people have sex the first time they meet - guess what - it's their decision, they are adults, they are free to choose their path. Don't be mad at the world because you've made bad choices and guys won't call you after having sex with you (yes, that's how it sounds to me).

/cheers loudly

nicely said

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to KatyLied)

Profile

Post #: 79

RE: Sex on First Meeting.. - 10/27/2006 6:47:58 AM

TheWord

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

I never had sex with a woman before the first meeting!
Telephone, cyber, all these silly games people play for mutual self completion never really interested me.
What I don't understand is persons who say, "Hey yeah, what I stud I am. I knocked off two strange women last night before 10 p.m. and then scored an overnighter with a virgin. What kind of tramps are they, "putting out" on the first date?"
This has nothing to do with morality, nor with respect, but rather with a double standard of behavior for men and women coupled with the christian fable than nice girls don't really want to have sex, they must be forced into it against their will for the sake of procreation. Any woman who lets the truth of her biological reality be known is either a tramp or a whore or a slut.
African men have just as great a fear of female sexuality as western men, although they don't use a religious/moral argument against women's sexual urges. They simply cut off the women's clitoruses, and sew them up before they reach the age of puberty.
Like the Vestal Virgins of "moral standards" in the west, many African women, who have suffered this indignity as children, demand that the tradition be carried on with their younger female relatives, lest they be tempted to become pariahs of society.
During their fertile years as prospective child bearers, many women have much stronger urges and desires than most men. Not all unwed teenage mothers are excersing some thwarted Freudian urge to revenge themselves on a father who would not take them when they offered. Some, "Just want to have fun!"
I never had the heart to refuse a beautiful woman who wanted to have vanilla recreational activity, and very few who wanted something more. Not only is it great fun, giving a feeling of intense pleasure and closeness, but it is a great way to stay in shape.
My college professor older sister tried to convince me that the rules are the same for men and women. After I picked myseelf up off the floor, I asked her: "When was the last time you heard of some mother getting her shotgun and going over to some girl's house to tell that girl's mother, "Your daughter slept with my son. Now his honor has been destroyed! Your daughter will mayrry him or ...""

(in reply to Aileen68)

Profile

Post #: 80