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belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 12:04:47 AM

Posts: 70
Joined: 10/2/2005
Status: offline

just wondering...
i have a Master, but often i find that when others contact me, because im submissive they expect me to be submissive to them also, ive found this in real time meetings also.
i have respect for other Dom/mme's dont get me wrong but why do alot of Dom/mme's (yes i may be generalising and i appologise for doing so, am just making a point) expect you to submit to them when you dont even know them.. it tends to lose my respect for them as i feel its a lack of respect for my own Master as most times they dont even approach my Master first..
what are other Master's/Dom's opinions?

~~lil~~

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collared to SirGordonNo1

"In Him i breathe, move, and have my being"

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 1:25:54 AM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

quote:

expect you to submit to them

What do you exactly mean there?

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to SirGordonslil)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 2:48:47 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirGordonslil

just wondering...
i have a Master, but often i find that when others contact me, because im submissive they expect me to be submissive to them also, ive found this in real time meetings also.
i have respect for other Dom/mme's dont get me wrong but why do alot of Dom/mme's (yes i may be generalising and i appologise for doing so, am just making a point) expect you to submit to them when you dont even know them.. it tends to lose my respect for them as i feel its a lack of respect for my own Master as most times they dont even approach my Master first..
what are other Master's/Dom's opinions?

~~lil~~

I'm not sure what you mean by *submit to them*, either.

In any case........what someone may *expect* is neither here nor there..........only you can choose whether you want to be responsible for their expectations. If you don't like it, let them *expect* away, it's not your problem.

agirl

(in reply to SirGordonslil)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 3:00:12 AM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirGordonslil

just wondering...
i have a Master, but often i find that when others contact me, because im submissive they expect me to be submissive to them also, ive found this in real time meetings also.
i have respect for other Dom/mme's dont get me wrong but why do alot of Dom/mme's (yes i may be generalising and i appologise for doing so, am just making a point) expect you to submit to them when you dont even know them.. it tends to lose my respect for them as i feel its a lack of respect for my own Master as most times they dont even approach my Master first..
what are other Master's/Dom's opinions?

To most fem/subs, I usually advise what should be the obvious - that no-one has any right to treat you with any less respect than that of which any adult is deserving. In your specific case, ie you have a Master, you should seek his guidance on this as it's obviously bugging you.

I don't address *anyone* as Sir; Lord; Master; Mistress; whatever! Anyone who introduces themselves in such a manner usually gets the obvious sarcastic reply - is that what you were christened? Consequently, I also expect the girl to be well-mannered and polite etc, but only respond to a person's name, not any self indulgent titles. If that's a problem for said Dom/me, I'll either step in or if I'm not actually present, I expect her to excuse herself and come find me.

No-one needs my permission to have a conversation with my girl as I've only ever owned mature, intelligent fem/subs who are quite capable of functioning without me. But I do expect everyone to respect what's mine once that's made clear.

Focus.

(in reply to SirGordonslil)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 3:12:08 AM

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm not sure what you mean by *submit to them*, either.

I'd see that as the little things.... Addressing them as "Sir" etc, keeping the eyes lowered, speaking when spoken to - the usual nonsense that they've never earned from the submissive in question.

Focus.

(in reply to agirl)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 3:39:05 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm not sure what you mean by *submit to them*, either.

I'd see that as the little things.... Addressing them as "Sir" etc, keeping the eyes lowered, speaking when spoken to - the usual nonsense that they've never earned from the submissive in question.

Focus.

Yes. I expect that's what she's referring to......though you *never QUITE know* on here.......LOL

agirl

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 4:18:59 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings

i think that is just such bad manners for anyone who a a domme or dom to think they have the right to someone just becasue they are submissive it is silly way to act. someone needs to tel this master and mistress this is not the way to someone else's submissive and having the title dom/domme in front of ones name does not give them the right to be rude. i hope some who do this will read it and think about how they actions are making it look bad for the reast of us who would never dare do this to someone.

takecare

mons

(in reply to agirl)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 4:49:10 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I know what she is talking about and though I have never seen it in real time when out with my Master, but I have gotten it here and in chats.. Some think that just because they call themselvs Domanents and I am a slave that I owe them my submition and respect and while I extend repsect to all I do not kneel befor random strangers or outomaticaly call them Sir or Master or Lord or other such things! I dont know if Im makeing any sence

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to mons)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 5:09:44 AM

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

Funny thing is that off the net, I have only met one (man or woman) who tried to act as if they were entitled to anything more than basic courtesy or respect from me. After I handed their ass back to them, they proceeded to whine to Wolf about how I was so disrespectful, and should be punished immediately. His reply..you shouldn't have pissed her off.

Most of the real time Dominants I know, of both sexes realize that submissives/slave/bottom all come in diferent flavors. Some are quite Dominant themselves, but have conceded power to one stronger than they, others may have the kink of being thought of as a submissive by all, and others just want to be treated respectfully by all.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 5:25:15 AM

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolfspet

Funny thing is that off the net, I have only met one (man or woman) who tried to act as if they were entitled to anything more than basic courtesy or respect from me. After I handed their ass back to them, they proceeded to whine to Wolf about how I was so disrespectful, and should be punished immediately. His reply..you shouldn't have pissed her off.

Most of the real time Dominants I know, of both sexes realize that submissives/slave/bottom all come in diferent flavors. Some are quite Dominant themselves, but have conceded power to one stronger than they, others may have the kink of being thought of as a submissive by all, and others just want to be treated respectfully by all.

LOL that sounds like exactly what my Master would say... he says that he doesnt mind me speaking my mind but if the person in his eyes has earned my respect i must do so repsectfully but if in his and my mind that person is a complete dipshit I dont owe them respect just because they are self proclaimed Domanents.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Wolfspet)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 6:03:56 AM

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

Just tell them to "Piss off." but say it in a nice tone and a sweet smile, and they'll get the message.

Sorry lack of sleep...but seriously. There is only one person who you need to submissive to, and if you are to any other it is because you respect them.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 6:11:01 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

You should behave according to the instructions of your dominant, and that is the only person you have to listen to. If he desires that you treat other dominants with deference, well you do that. If he does not want that from you, then you do not do that.

I would wonder why you would lost respect for your master because the actions of another, that is very perplexing.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to SirGordonslil)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 6:12:05 AM

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

this might sound hard to believe, but some Masters actually expect/demand their slave or submissive to be submissive to all, or submissive to all Men, or submissive to all Dominant men, or whatever the case may be. so perhaps they expect it from you, despite the fact that you're owned, because that has been the case with others. i know my own Master doesn't want a slave whose submission can turn on and off like a light switch....so while no i'm not expected to serve everyone, in online situations i'm expected to be courteous and polite and in real life situations i'm expected to be submissive and obedient always (to Men that is).

(in reply to CrazyC)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 6:52:33 AM

Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline

My late Master expected me to address other Doms as "Sir" out of respect and that is what I do...if they expect you to submit to them and you have a Dom..then just block them so they cannot send you anymore emails..simple..

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 7:01:53 AM

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

this might sound hard to believe, but some Masters actually expect/demand their slave or submissive to be submissive to all, or submissive to all Men, or submissive to all Dominant men, or whatever the case may be. so perhaps they expect it from you, despite the fact that you're owned, because that has been the case with others. i know my own Master doesn't want a slave whose submission can turn on and off like a light switch....so while no i'm not expected to serve everyone, in online situations i'm expected to be courteous and polite and in real life situations i'm expected to be submissive and obedient always (to Men that is).

Your absoloutely right, some Masters demand that type of interaction from their property. But for a Master to assume to treat anothers property in that manner is egocentric at best, boorish and ill-mannered at worst.
I remember you from your short lived time at another site, hopefully you do not try to share those same beliefs you revealed there anylonger.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 7:57:31 AM

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

this might sound hard to believe, but some Masters actually expect/demand their slave or submissive to be submissive to all, or submissive to all Men, or submissive to all Dominant men, or whatever the case may be. so perhaps they expect it from you, despite the fact that you're owned, because that has been the case with others.

I have a friend whose Master expects this from her. Then again, others don't. It depends on the desire of the Master.

quote:

i know my own Master doesn't want a slave whose submission can turn on and off like a light switch....so while no i'm not expected to serve everyone, in online situations i'm expected to be courteous and polite and in real life situations i'm expected to be submissive and obedient always (to Men that is).

Your post seems to imply that if one does not behave submissively to all dominant men and/or women, then we are turning our submission on and off like a light switch, and I must disagree with such an assumption. My submission to my Master remains on, and intensely so, always. In that submission, I have been trained to view other individuals as equals to me, despite their make-up and/or orientation. He views a girl's submission as much more valuable to him if not offered freely to others. My submission does not "turn on and off" by any means.

Edited to add an additional thought.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 11/20/2006 8:01:27 AM >

(in reply to daddysprop247)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 8:31:53 AM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirGordonslil

just wondering...
i have a Master, but often i find that when others contact me, because im submissive they expect me to be submissive to them also, ive found this in real time meetings also.
i have respect for other Dom/mme's dont get me wrong but why do alot of Dom/mme's (yes i may be generalising and i appologise for doing so, am just making a point) expect you to submit to them when you dont even know them.. it tends to lose my respect for them as i feel its a lack of respect for my own Master as most times they dont even approach my Master first..
what are other Master's/Dom's opinions?

~~lil~~

Many are simply new or uninformed. Ask your Master if he wishes you to be verbally submissive to these people (such as using Maam and Sir or their title). If they wish you to be physically submissive (fetch me a drink), simply tell them to ask your Master if they can borrow you for such a task.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SirGordonslil)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 8:57:42 AM

Lenis

Posts: 28
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

When talking to a submissive I do not expect proper titling. The only thing I do expect is some respect given my position, and the fact I treat you with respect. If the submissive/slave starts to refer to me as 'Sir' I view that I have earned the right/honor and respect of that person to be addressed as that.

There is a Domme who I have asked to be a sounding board for questions I have, and have instructed my girl to refer to as 'Ma'am' as a gesture of respect to her in how I respect her opinion and knowledge.

Only time I do get rather peeved is when a person who is not my slave refer to me as 'Master'.

-Brian

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 9:36:09 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Sir expects me to be courteous to A/all. However i only obey those that He has made it clear i need to do as they ask and there are boundaries withint those relationships. I would be expected if going to get a drink to ask the Others if they also want something. That is the Others that my Sir knows and approves of and i would do so. If i am with several that neither or us know i follow His lead and usually that means caring for His needs only. If others were to attempt to impose their dominance upon me He would deal with appropriately if there and if not He would expect me to be courteous but not necessarily obey them. Is not my job to keep every Dominant happy unless my Sir tells me that is my job.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to Lenis)

RE: belong to One not all - 11/20/2006 9:46:32 AM

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Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

The reason is simple some Dominants failed to get any education in what protocol means, that it has rules for the behaviour of both Dominants and submissives. When I addres a slave I use the title slave/boy/boi/girl/grrl (whichever applies) when they show that they too have a knowledge of protocol, I call other Domiant's I have no reason to disrespect as sir/ maam.

(NOTE: the difference between that idea and so many who have to have a reason to use sir or maam, rather than a reason not to.)

BTW when I call someone "slave XYZ" there is respect in my voice.When I call someone boyor oi there is a respect in my voice. The trouble is you have Instadoms running around thinking they actually know something about how they should be addressed without even 20 seconds thought given to how they should address others.

< Message edited by Archer -- 11/20/2006 9:47:10 AM >

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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