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How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:24:11 AM

Noah

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"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."

What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.

What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:29:29 AM

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"controlled" "connected" "soft" "warm" "helpless" "small" "secure" "taken care of" "right in myself" "hot" "admired" "desired" "wanton" "unashamed" "free" "calm"

That's why I rarely use the term "Feel submissive" I tend to say "feel the submissive fuzzies" where "fuzzies" can be any sort of happy/yummy place that happens to be construed as submissive by that person.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:31:43 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."

What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.

What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

I'd say I feel small, sometimes I feel like a butterfly pinned to the wall, and sometimes I just feel really warm all over (and safe).

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:35:40 AM

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From: Fort Wayne Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

"It makes me feel submissive when ..."

"This person makes me feel submissive ..."

What I'd like to hear about are those feelings, themselves.

What does it feel like, for you--before, during, or after any actual interaction which might yield further sensations, to just "feel submissive"?

the truth...a certain tone of voice that Master uses will take me from being joking, argumentative, and fiesty right into a state of meekness. Not any particular word, just a certain tone of voice that he uses to remind me of my place

As to the person...well, some have a certain arrogance to them that I just seem to react to without thought.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:38:44 AM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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It is like describing love, no one is very good at that either

I will endeavor to answer your question...

It is a very safe and secure feeling for me. It is feeling as though the person you are submitting to will let no harm come to you. In the sexual arena it is the confidence that even while your lover is inflicting pain upon you he is not going to harm you, you can let yourself go and enjoy it. It is also the flow of power sexually, it is the energy that gets exchanged, and that is a palpable thing for me.

When I submit outside of the bedroom it is a feeling that he is investing his energy into just me at that particular moment. It is a feeling of being valuable and of worth to him, of being esteemed enough to take the time to exert his dominance over me...

_____________________________

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:42:07 AM

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Yeah, that's about it.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:46:13 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

"controlled" "connected" "soft" "warm" "helpless" "small" "secure" "taken care of" "right in myself" "hot" "admired" "desired" "wanton" "unashamed" "free" "calm"

That's why I rarely use the term "Feel submissive" I tend to say "feel the submissive fuzzies" where "fuzzies" can be any sort of happy/yummy place that happens to be construed as submissive by that person.

Thank you, LA.

Aside from "warm", "hot" and maybe "small" the words you selected read to me as primarily emotional feelings rather than physical feelings--not that "calm" or "connected" or some of those other words couldn't be used to describe something primarily physical. Both sides of the emotional/physical coin are interesting but I would particularly like to hear about the physical side of "feeling submissive" from you or anyone else who cares to respond.

I'm not talking about how a crop feels on one's bottom, though. I'm trying to ask very specifically about "feeling submissive."

Without leaning too heavily on the distinctions I guess I'd think of "feeling dominant" or "feeling submissive" as primarily an emotional response. Emotional responses, though, tend to have concomittant physical responses with at least a degree of consistency and continuity.

I know how it feels, physically, to feel afraid, emotionally. That is to say I know how it feels for me. I know how it feels, physically, to feel grief, or anticipation, or happiness, too. And no, it isn't the same in all cases of any particular emotional response. Still, I hope that it remains an intelligible question: What does feeling submissive feel like, to any particular person, physically?

I presume it might vary from moment to moment. Maybe it has evolved overthe years for you. Maybe for a certain person submissiveness is completely cerebral with no strong physical sensations associated. That's all fine. Feel free to say so.

If you (anyone who cares to respond) can't talk about the physical sensations without describing emotional feelings too then please go ahead that way. But please be aware that this thread seeks to explore primarily the physical sensations of submissiveness itself, from any particular person's completely subjective point of view.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:49:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
What does feeling submissive feel like, to any particular person, physically?

I think we all experience the same range of emotions and interpret them to ourselves based on our orientations. Feeling secure to a dom "feels dominant" while feeling secure to a sub "feels submissive."

Physical state? I have no physical state that I associate to as being specifically "submissive."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:50:08 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

I'd say I feel small, sometimes I feel like a butterfly pinned to the wall, and sometimes I just feel really warm all over (and safe).

Now that's pretty physical. Thanks, Wildfleurs.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:53:56 AM

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I feel plain and simply 'complete'.

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(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:55:12 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

the truth...a certain tone of voice that Master uses will take me from being joking, argumentative, and fiesty right into a state of meekness. Not any particular word, just a certain tone of voice that he uses to remind me of my place

As to the person...well, some have a certain arrogance to them that I just seem to react to without thought.

Thank you, Kalira.

Of course anyone may add whatever they like here. And we have over the years had a lot of good discussion about "What makes you feel submissive."

What I would like to do here today is leave that question mostly to the side and let people share their own accounts of just how it feels inside your body when, for instance, you hear that word or tone that elicits your own submissiveness.

(in reply to Kalira)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:56:07 AM

champagnewishes

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Alive...
gratified and satisfied
connected and complete
brilliant and halcyon
understood and revered

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 8:59:03 AM

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i feel like i am snuggled deep and comfy in the warmest blanket. His dominance feels just like that; a warm, cozy blanket. Physically, i guess the feeling is warm inside, i am relaxed and vibrantly alive at the same time. Hmmm. It's really hard to separate the emotional from the physical.

(in reply to missturbation)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:07:29 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I think we all experience the same range of emotions and interpret them to ourselves based on our orientations. Feeling secure to a dom "feels dominant" while feeling secure to a sub "feels submissive."

I'm confident that this can be true, though I wouldn't be surprised if certain people reported that it didn't line up with their own expreiences. I think it is an idea worth exploring and it might lead to a really worthwhile discussion in itself about the interaction of emotional responses, one with another. I can imagine as well it leading to some ideas about "layers" of emotional response. Maybe we could take it up in another thread?

quote:

Physical state? I have no physical state that I associate to as being specifically "submissive."

Fair enough. Thanks for sharing that.

We're obviously dealing in some pretty gray area here. When you referred before to "fuzzies" I got the impression that there would be a physical component, or a whole bunch of them, maybe, to feeling "fuzzies".

I'm not taking issue with what you've said or the way you've chosen to say it. I'm only trying to gain understanding.

So even if there is no physical "state" with "being" submissive, in those moments when you are really feeling the above-mentioned fuzzies, are there any physical sensations which are pretty reliably arising together with or as an aspect of the fuzzies?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:12:54 AM

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Like others, I feel warm, small, soft. I also feel slow and graceful. Also heavy, though not necessarily in the sense that my weight has doubled. Maybe grounded is a better word.

There's a passage in Memoirs of a Geisha in which the main character, a dancer, describes how she feels when she realizes that the man she loves is in the audience. For her, it was a feeling of exquisite sadness that slowed her movements, and gave them weight and grace.

For me, it's the feeling of submission that gives me the same.

_____________________________

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." - Rabindranath Tagore

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:13:22 AM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire

i feel like i am snuggled deep and comfy in the warmest blanket. His dominance feels just like that; a warm, cozy blanket. Physically, i guess the feeling is warm inside, i am relaxed and vibrantly alive at the same time. Hmmm. It's really hard to separate the emotional from the physical.

Yeah. I think it can be really hard to separate, even in terms of description, the emotional from the physical. I'm also aware that you usually need to kill something to dissect it and I honestly don't want to analyze anything to death, here.

All that said, you did manage to offer some compelling description which leaned heavily toward the physical side of things, for which I thank you.

(in reply to darksdesire)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:14:05 AM

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I have considered that term on occasion, to feel submissive. I have used that term a lot, and then in talking to someone not so long ago, I understood her point of view of how feeling submissive can really mean anything to anyone and is not a very clear descriptor.

If I were to say how it phyiscally feels to me I would experience similar challenges to trying to describe what love phyiscally feels like, but here goes my attempt anyway:

There is this intense magnetic pull from deep within my gut. It is so intense it creates an ache which can actually be painful. My skin will actually begin to tingle in my most intense state. I feel incredibly small - so small I feel like a mere spec beneath his shoe. My level of heat scorches me, as an inferno roaring through my very being. My heart rate goes up, and my body reacts to its arousal. I become hyper-focused on just him and my servitude to him. The world may spin around me but I no longer notice it; I become driven to him, much like a moth to a flame (except I won't die when I touch him, heh). I find myself on the edge of an orgasm, teetering there, screaming inside for relief, yet not wanting relief because that might make this fantastic moment go away. I feel his presence inside of me, like an energy pounding within, and I can actually feel my pulse throb.

There are no inhibitions. Walls that used to exist have crumbled, and I feel as though wind can blow right through me. At my most intense moments, I can barely speak in a whisper - I feel so small that even my voice becomes small. My longing to feel him - to touch, smell, taste, sense, breathe, experience him - takes over my being in both a sexual and non sexual way. I tremble inside. I cower. I am shrouded by his power and control and it embraces me and feeds me. I feel completely exposed and splayed open to him - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is as though my body and mind are laying there open to him, and he can just scoop in and take what he wants.

That is as close as a physical description as I can think of...the rest is pure, raw emotion.

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:19:25 AM

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I get what might best be described as a heavy, sinking feeling combined with an internal quickening. My arms feel heavy and weak. I become very aware of my breathing...sometimes it feels as if I have to remember to breathe or I will forget to breathe...really what happens is I keep breathing out, and then have to remember to breathe back in...but the exhale, I think, increases the sinking feeling I love so much.
I have also described the feeling as melting...there is a sensation akin to that of not having bones... being completely bendable....no resistance.

This is really hard, describing the physical reactions...I know them so well, but to find words is so difficult. I tend to lose speech when I feel this way, anyhow.

I know that when I was first playing, ten years ago, I learned how to let myself go into subspace, to feel the pain of a flogging as pleasure...I would consciously let go physical tension and do the kind of breathing described above, lots of exhale, not a lot of inhale, and off I would fly....

I guess that now it just happens without having to be conscious of it. It is a physical letting go of control.

MarinMasoMama

(in reply to champagnewishes)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:22:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
We're obviously dealing in some pretty gray area here. When you referred before to "fuzzies" I got the impression that there would be a physical component, or a whole bunch of them, maybe, to feeling "fuzzies".

I'm not taking issue with what you've said or the way you've chosen to say it. I'm only trying to gain understanding.

I thought you knew by now that I was one of the most difficult people on here to get offended.

There may be physical components of the "fuzzies," yes, but it still applies- physical experiences which are interpreted to be "submissive,"

Maybe because I am poly and a switch that I have so many connections to so many people that I don't associate any particular emotion or physical state to one thing. Just like people can be "in love" with more than one in their lifetime- it's a different "in love" every time.

quote:

So even if there is no physical "state" with "being" submissive, in those moments when you are really feeling the above-mentioned fuzzies, are there any physical sensations which are pretty reliably arising together with or as an aspect of the fuzzies?

Oh yes.

But those same physical sensations arise in other situations as well- so it is not unique to being "submissive" for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Noah)

RE: How submissiveness feels - 12/2/2006 9:24:05 AM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It is like describing love, no one is very good at that either

I will endeavor to answer your question...

It is a very safe and secure feeling for me. It is feeling as though the person you are submitting to will let no harm come to you. In the sexual arena it is the confidence that even while your lover is inflicting pain upon you he is not going to harm you, you can let yourself go and enjoy it. It is also the flow of power sexually, it is the energy that gets exchanged, and that is a palpable thing for me.

When I submit outside of the bedroom it is a feeling that he is investing his energy into just me at that particular moment. It is a feeling of being valuable and of worth to him, of being esteemed enough to take the time to exert his dominance over me...

Thank you, Julia.

All of what you offered was interesting. Some of it seemed to operate in terms of evaluation: "worth", "esteem". Again, some of it seemed to describe emotional response. I know for myself, how it feels to feel safe, for instance.

How does it feel, physically, for you (if indeed that question makes sense in your terms and in your experience)? Are there physical responses associated for you with feeling safe?

As to the line that I bolded in your quote above ... you speak of a thing being palpable. I know from discussions with people I have known over the years that for some people the feeling of submissiveness is quite "palpable". That is to say "physically feelable".

Would you like to say any more about that palpable flow of energy? Unless you meant the word palpable in a strictly metaphorical way (which would be fine) can you tell us anything about how that flow of energy feels in your body, as opposed to in your mind or heart?

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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