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RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/4/2006 10:57:27 PM

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirseeksslave
I have chatted with several slaves and subs plus gone out with a few but in person it seemed almost stilted even though I tried to relax. Guess I have been out of the dating circuit too long.

I can relate. A few years ago, my primary relationship and my secondary relationship (both live-in slaves, for 10+ years and almost a year, respectively) blew up, in about a 1-month time period.

Since, I've backed off and healed - looked around, found few I was interested in, backed off again - now I'm looking again, and finding a lot --- of what doesn't interest me.

I wasn't quite as trusting as you were, and consider myself a fairly good judge of character - but I'm perhaps pickier than I was, and I'd say that, given your track record, that you could stand to be pickier than you have been in the past.

There's lots of undesirables in the community - and they're not all predatory dominants. There are some truly frightening submissives out there, too - so, how do you attract the good ones?

Most of the good ones, it seems, have already been collared. For the uncollared good ones, there's a fair bit of competition, or there's an incompatability. Personally, I avoid LDRs - I've heard of them working out well, but they do seem to present quite a challenge, and I've never seen one that started as a LDR that worked out well.

My advice would be to hang in there, keep your standards high, refuse to 'settle' - but get out, go to the munches and parties, keep yourself in the public eye and keep your eye on the public.

Mayhaps I should do that a bit more myself.

Midnight Writer
Temporary solipsist.

_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to Sirseeksslave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/4/2006 11:04:09 PM

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Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Ive never put much effort into proving that I am worthy to own someone. I am just myself when I interact with them. How we get on varies on a person to person basis. Those I have owned have desired to be my possession becasue of hw they were treated and how I made them feel. I never went out of my way to prove myself to them. I supose, in my eyes, if I had to chase them and make a show of proving my worthyness to own them, then they arent worth the trouble. I know that might sound arrogant, but its how I see things. I dont expect my prospective subs to prove themselves worthy of being owned, either. I just believe that we fall into the positions of ownership and property as we do into any other relationship. Sometimes it just feels right.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to PiercedDaz)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/5/2006 4:58:55 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Field of dreams school of thought here. LOL

"If you build it they will come"

You simply live your life and let nature take it's course elp it along a little now and then by placing yourself where you will be noticed.

The people who will fit into your life well will just show up. Being ready for them when they do is the trick.

You said it wonderfully Archer and I'd like to add..Just be yourself. Don't ever pretend to be something that you aren't. If your a good person in general that will show thru and there are lots of slaves seeking a good Master/Mistress.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Archer)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/5/2006 9:04:30 AM

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Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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So many I could have quoted so I did not quote any.

The best way to TRY to show someone you are a worthy Master is to be honest, show you have taken the life seriously through experience or learning, admitting you do not know everything and have taken the time to actually know yourself and what you are about. When going about trying to find your slave though you must realize these are relationships and not convincing an animal shelter employee you will make a good owner to a dog. There is no shortcut from words and actions in the Master area that puts you to the ahead of the line.

For those who feel that a worthy Master is one or all of these things: is active in a local community, has been told by their peers, has shown a proper skill level with the toys and all other things that have part or nothing to do with interaction between a dominant and their submissive, check the ego at the door. This is nothing more then self promoting high school clique mentallity. Ok, lets have all my friends gather around and tell each other how great we are and those we do not know or dislike are dangerous losers type crap. It is like buying a car from a friend of a friend of a freind and thinking you can trust their word more then a stranger's. Other people, except for the people that served you and then they can also be bias, cannot tell what another person is like as a Master when behind closed doors with their slave and that is 99.99% of the time.

You cannot show you are a worthy Master you can only convey that you understand what a worthy Master is. To show you are a worthy Master is real life actions day to day with someone you form a relationship with.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Lashra)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/5/2006 12:27:42 PM

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Joined: 8/26/2006
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How does a Master show he is worthy?

By being too arrogant to ask questions like this!

Actually, I would say it's rather simple: keep your word and operate with transparency.

(in reply to Sirseeksslave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/5/2006 1:15:36 PM

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Joined: 10/23/2006
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AMEN, You can learn the deets, but you can't learn the look or so my sub friends all tell me.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/6/2006 8:18:40 AM

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Joined: 11/22/2006
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First off, I hate the misuse of Master, which is used indiscriminately these days by too many Doms. It appears to be a way by many to inflate their status. Had to get that off my chest. So I will use the term Dom to answer your question.

If you have to SHOW you are a Dom, you aren't. If you ARE a Dom, just being yourself is enough. It's not how many toys you have, or even level of experience with various BDSM kinks. If you are a Dom, truly, no-one can mistake it. It is the inner confidence that naturally radiates, the way you walk, the way you look at people, the way you speak to them. There is the sense that you are in control, in control of yourself, and perfecty capable of controlling others. You don't prove your worth with words, but with actions.

But I don't think that was your real question anyway. I think your real question was how do you get a submissive these days. This is a whole 'nother thing. The bald fact is that there are about 10 male doms for every female submissive in the lifestyle. I don't agree that all the quality submissives are taken, but the pool of available ones is small. Of these 10 males, let's assume six are true experienced Doms (yeah I'm being overly generous), they are all worthy in their own way. The sub is going to pick the one she thinks is most compatible with her and her needs. Most of the time it's simply the luck of the draw.

In such a situation, the only realistic approach is to get known in the local scene, meet lots of people, and sooner or later you will hook up with the one that is for you. Don't lower your standards out of frustration. Patience is the name of the game.

(in reply to leathersmith)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/6/2006 10:17:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: emdoub

It's not showy, flashy, or fast - but simply being honest and honorable.

I agree with that. It's a matter of honor; all else is pretending.

(in reply to emdoub)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/7/2006 5:42:38 AM

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Joined: 12/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirseeksslave

In my eyes, it is more about being a worthy Master as this will attract a worthy slave -- my question is how does one show a slave he is worthy of owning them?

Hmmm... worthy. An interesting word.

WORTHY (adjective):

Having worth, merit, or value; useful or valuable.
Honorable; admirable.
Having sufficient worth; deserving.

How does one show a slave he is worthy of owning them?

I would guess that it all depends upon just what you are trying to display.

That you have usefulness or value as a Master?

That you are an honorable Master?

That you deserve to be a Master?

And under what circumstances are you trying to show this? Generically in your profile? Or specifically when communicating with a prospective slave?

But then you say, "...the slaves I seem to attract are not worthy of being owned..."

Have they no usefulness or value as a slave?

Are they not an admirable slave?

Do they not deserve to be a slave?

I can certainly understand you being leery of individuals who might turn out to be drug addicts, con artists, liars, and thieves; but regarding your original question, you clarify, "...The reason I ask is not to attract such in the future..."

What I don't understand is how you arrived at the conclusion that by displaying your own worthiness, somehow those who are not desirable will be weeded out?

*sighs* I'm not trying to give you a hard time. Really.

What I am attempting to do is to get you to think about what it is that you truly want.

Aren't you really asking how to attract someone compatible with you?

There is a plethora of wisdom available here from the members of this forum, but you need to know just what to ask. Sometimes that can be hard to do.

Allow me to give you what I believe to be a good start; a link to the thread "How to succeed in your search". The original post contains some very wise words from a very wise man. Of course, I'm a bit biased...

(in reply to Sirseeksslave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/7/2006 6:21:06 AM

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Tal Slave Seeker,

Just a slightly different prespective here. First, in the lifestyle I live it is the slave that is the one to prove worthy. I do however find it important you as the MAN demonstrate good character and show you have values consistant with those that most slaves find important. It seems a few have taken time here to define some of those values. There are some great posts here from different points of view, it would also seem they have one underlining factor. A man's values. Now, that being said there is a girl for every guy. First, some men like the idea of a bad girl. There may quite possibly be some sadist out there that is turned on by a girl that is always in trouble. He may love little excuses to work his particular magic on her. I would guess though in your case, perhaps you are simply getting the cart to far ahead of the horse, perhaps taking longer to get to know the wench, check things out as best you can. If a girl gets offended because your cautious and working to ensure the security of you home then there could quite possibly be a red flag of reason for that.

In conclusion, I don't ever believe it should be about the worthiness of the master. If a girl placed her wishes above mine, I have no desire to own her. That is just my particular flavor. That does not mean I believe a girl should through caution to the wind and not work to find that man of suitable compatability and strong character. It is my opinion that until a slutling has a collar around her throat she is free to make solid and wise decision on her own behalf.

The forst step to becoming a master or leader of others to conquer yourself, understand yourself, acomplish that and being that master and fnding the right slave will come in due time. It also seems the right master can even conquer the little lying stealing sluts. Do you own a cage, a gag hood, binding tools and uncompromising will ?(smirks)

Live well,

Bull

Disclaimer: I am a Gorean and the world is rather one sided for me,as I am not within a Gorean forum the need for this disclaimer may or may not be needed. I do believe that any man or woman may live as he or she chooses, therefore you may assume in the above post . Thank you and have a good daythat the word man, girl or any other specific term is gender neutral and you may view it as you see appropriate.

(in reply to Sirseeksslave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 6:41:15 AM

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Joined: 10/19/2006
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-fast reply-

Personally, I worked on Mastering myself. I became the Man I wanted to be and when the time was right, I found a woman that I could own. Of course I wanted property, but my mistakes led me to realize that I had to be Me before anyone who was right would be with me.

Good luck in your journey. It never ends.

Regards,
EO

(in reply to PiercedDaz)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 6:52:46 AM

Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
Disclaimer: I am a Gorean and the world is rather one sided for me,as I am not within a Gorean forum the need for this disclaimer may or may not be needed. I do believe that any man or woman may live as he or she chooses, therefore you may assume in the above post . Thank you and have a good daythat the word man, girl or any other specific term is gender neutral and you may view it as you see appropriate.

Having seen firsthand how Gorean practicioners are treated, I still find it very sad you have to make such disclaimers. Should you wish to inject a bit of levity, though, I suggest one of these disclaimers as an addition:
http://www.goldmark.org/jeff/stupid-disclaimers/fun.html

Regards

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 7:45:02 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirseeksslave

In my eyes, it is more about being a worthy Master as this will attract a worthy slave -- my question is how does one show a slave he is worthy of owning them?

"Worthy" is a relative term, in that different people will (and do) have different definitions of what constitutes "worthiness". And as such, there can be no list of qualities that everyone agrees upon.

Much as Archer said earlier, I typically suggest that people just be themselves. Those that are compatible with you (the real you, not the "you" you're pretending to be) will be attracted.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Sirseeksslave)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 7:49:51 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

In conclusion, I don't ever believe it should be about the worthiness of the master. If a girl placed her wishes above mine, I have no desire to own her. That is just my particular flavor. That does not mean I believe a girl should through caution to the wind and not work to find that man of suitable compatability and strong character. It is my opinion that until a slutling has a collar around her throat she is free to make solid and wise decision on her own behalf.

Interesting point of view, Bull. Though I find it a bit conflicted. How is it that an uncollared girl can make a solid and wise decision on her own behalf (presumably that would include the decision of whom will be her Master), yet be able to do so without including the "worthiness" of a potential suitor as part of the decision making process?

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 12:18:20 PM

MasterWilliam55

Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
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"In conclusion, I don't ever believe it should be about the worthiness of the master. If a girl placed her wishes above mine, I have no desire to own her. That is just my particular flavor. That does not mean I believe a girl should through caution to the wind and not work to find that man of suitable compatability and strong character. It is my opinion that until a slutling has a collar around her throat she is free to make solid and wise decision on her own behalf." Bull

I'm not sure if I understand you correctly. Are you saying a kijira or even a BDSM slave, should Not be selective in her choice of a mate? Personally I would want a slave who had a specific interest in Me! I am selective on who I partner up with and I hope they are too.

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 1:08:42 PM

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Tal Bull,

Well said but most are not going to get it, and others are going to misunderstand some of what you are saying, as seen by a couple of posts already.

Orion

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 2:11:22 PM

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Tal to those in question,

First, the disclaimer I was mocked for; the disclaimer was mostly stated for humor, those that have posted around me lately should understand. It was simply to generate a smile. I actually don't give a damn if someone has a seperate view to mine, they are welcome to their opinion, as I am mine. You all have your own view of Goreans, if you just read and an attempt to understand me as I do you, then good questions arise. if you have a Gorean predjudice you tend to respond with a negative note or some comment or site in which I can better myself. The assault against my disclaimer is ok though, I expected chuckles and the other.

As for the good questions. First understand that I believe that all females though submissive in varying degrees, are free until claimed and made property. Some feel differently, that is for another thread. Now, if you are trying to understand my point, I'm not going to be able to just spell it, but I'll ask you this. Do you own property? Does your property, any of it, have the right or ability to judge your worth, if your horse, your pickup, your house or any of your property came up to you and said your not worthy of me get lost; what would you do? I assume your chuckling about now. So am I. I did when you were surrendering your control over a slave by allowing them to reign over you by judging you worthy. If you wish to allow a woman to have her own opinion, do like I did with my free companion. Leave her free. She is at times an additional conscience, she is my alternate point of view, she never let's me get full of myself without a sharp cough and a clearing of her throat. Does that mean she reigns over me; NO. It means I value her thoughts and vision. She serves me needs best being free. I also know a man or two I have shared Grass and Earth with that I value the opinions of. What do these people have in common? Their Free. I know it's differences in terminoligy or sometimes simply semantics that make it hard to undersatand one another. The lifestyles vary; Is one right or wrong? You tell me. We all have opinions, assholes and other similar devises. To me a slave is just that, a slave, upon surrendering her will, she is property, she is no longer able to determine worth, she is than only allowed to be worthy. I hope this helped some. A Gorean man, though strict is seldom cruel, and he should never be topped from the bottom. As this is the "ask a Master" section, this is just the simple honest reply of a Gorean man. Am I difficult to understand, only until you shed the confines of pity and sympathy.

Live well,

Bull

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 3:49:47 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

In conclusion, I don't ever believe it should be about the worthiness of the master. If a girl placed her wishes above mine, I have no desire to own her. That is just my particular flavor. That does not mean I believe a girl should through caution to the wind and not work to find that man of suitable compatability and strong character. It is my opinion that until a slutling has a collar around her throat she is free to make solid and wise decision on her own behalf.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx

First understand that I believe that all females though submissive in varying degrees, are free until claimed and made property.

Bull, perhaps you missed my earlier question in the thread traffic, so I'll ask again in hopes of gaining your attention. It's an interesting topic, and one I'd enjoy learning of your perspective.

You seem clear that an uncollared girl is free to make her own choices on her own behalf. And I must presume that would include whom she wishes to have as her Master.

You acknowedge that she should find a man of "suitable compatibility" and I'm curious as to how she can do that without considering the "worthiness" of a potential suitor as part of her decision making process?

Your explanation would be most enlightening.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 7:25:29 PM

LordODiscipline

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Bull:

Perhaps instead of writing in the stilted yet pithy version of "Conan Speak", if you were to (instead) choose to use the coloquial grammar of America (I understand that Iowa still remains a part and parcel of that mythic land) the understanding of your statements by the reader will more evident.

Yes, I am poking some minor fun - but, I am also speaking the truth relative to effective communication techniques

I have seen you write some exceptionally insightful pieces which were lost in the shuffle because of this cyber habit of linguistic vagarity.

You might want to consider whether speaking in this stilted manner is really necessary if one embraces the 'philosophy of Gor' - or - if it is some silly contrivance which :"everyone does" so "everyone does it"

It would also minimize the "Gorean Prejudice" that some might have.

Just a thought from someone who seldom thinks.

~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
Am I difficult to understand, only until you shed the confines of pity and sympathy.

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to xBullx)

RE: Showing you are a worthy Master - 12/8/2006 7:28:17 PM

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

It would also minimize the "Gorean Prejudice" that some might have.

Okay, I have to ask, who or what is a Tal?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to LordODiscipline)

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